Telling girlfriend my income

It's very unlikely that you "always" lived below your means, because you didn't always have these means right? You mentioned several girls who had ulterior motives, so you've had money for at least a little while. (Unless you dated these several girls over the span of like 3 weeks.) You may have lived like this before your job but that would have reflected necessity since you weren't yet making $200k. Somewhere in the middle is where you scored (and likely got promoted up to) this nice income.

So no, it's not ridiculous at all. It fits the timeline perfectly. You lived frugally because that was within your means, got a nice job, encountered gold diggers and then decided that living below your new means was
>kind of a way to see if a girl really likes [you].
You admitted to the shit test. All I'm saying is that you've literally made the shit test into your life.

Want to swallow the cherry on top? If this didn't totally fuck your view on relationships, tell me why a grown man doesn't know how to sit down his girlfriend and plan on their new residence. Tell me why you don't know how to act like a regular old frugal guy if this is really so natural for you. I'm not denying you the joy of minimalism and simplicity in life. What I am saying is that you're couching some serious baggage and hangups about relationships in this frugal lifestyle of yours. Before you fuck up this otherwise great relationship, get some professional help. You can afford it.

Not at all. You underestimate how tiny and shitty my apartment is. You can walk across it in like 3 seconds. If I imagine the scenario where we both try to live here, it would be really really cramped. While I might be okay with that, I can't imagine she would be. She currently lives in a house so I don't think she quite understands how much of a downgrade it would be. My apartment seems liveable because I'm a guy and I own practically nothing. I can't imagine any girl would be okay with it. At best she would just tolerate it because she likes me. I just don't see any need why it has to be that way.

I'm not talking about a complete lifestyle change though. We would just be going from my trash apartment to a bigger, but still pretty trash apartment.

You're reading too much into it user. I don't have any baggage from my previous relationships. It's more just a matter of, if you get bitten by a snake, you don't keep trying to touch the snake, even if its a different snake, because that snake can still bite you even they choose not to. I don't have anything against that snake, but I don't know it well enough to let my guard down immediately. I'm just being cautious, I don't see any harm any in that.

But yes, I've always lived this way. I lived with my parents before I lived by myself, and we were in squalor.

You just fucking called a hypothetical woman a snake.

Yeah, no baggage there. I'm sure if your girlfriend read our dialog she'd be 100% cool with your jaded ass.

>we were in squalor
You also missed the point. If you are legitimately in squalor, you aren't "living below your means." Your means are $3.50 and you can barely afford toast sandwiches. The point I'm making is that at some point you transitioned to living below your means because now you're making umpteen times more money and living to roughly the same standards. I don't think that's coincidence. I think that's because you view women as potential metaphorical snakes. That would make your entire life into the shit test, not just how you keep mum about your income.

Just tell her, shes going to find out sooner or later

You're grasping a bit user. It's a metaphor, it's not meant to be a direct comparison. Change it to a kitty if it makes you feel better. The whole point was just being cautious. I don't see the problem in being cautious. It's not saying my girlfriend is a bad person, but can we just admit that she was a strange when we first got together and I knew nothing about her? Would you trust a complete stranger to that extent? If you would, good for you I guess. I take everything I work for a little more seriously than that.

Well since she's not a complete stranger anymore, I guess you can trust her with the truth then. But when she inevitably asks why you were less than forthcoming about your income, just promise me you'll show her our exchanges verbatim. Don't change "snake" to "kitty" though.

OP, I understand that women can be downright cruel, but not all are and it sounds like she is a nice girl. I would just tell her if she was considering living with you while you live way below your means. Also, 200k a week is like 4k a week and unless you live in some extremely pricey area you probably make your rent in a day. Just buy a house. But that is besides the point, be honest with her she really does deserve that much. If she is with you while she thinks your poor she will be with you while your loaded.

You're in the right. Only cucks who get half their shit taken in divorce unconditionally trust women. They have a track record of destroying men in divorce. Why the fuck would you ever trust them so easily?

>she will be with you while your loaded
That goes without saying.

Consider this another test, OP. if you tell her your income, and she changes and turns into someone you don't like, then you know what to do with her.

OP, what percentage of your income would you say you save with your lifestyle?

Well, you're not wrong I guess.

I save the large majority of it, easily over 80%. My rent is extremely cheap, and my day to day spending is so little. The biggest offenders for money for me are rent, cell phon, internet, gas, maybe food. I've gone to great lengths to make food as cheap as possible. I cook almost exclusively and I drink nothing but water which saves a ton of money. But it goes way beyond that but I won't go into great length on how to save food money. I don't have the raw numbers in front of me right now but its a lot.

Why go for so far to save though? What do you plan on doing with it?

The ultimate goal for me is to retire early. I would like to be 100% retired by age 50. I would probably be fine a lot earlier but realistically I'll be guaranteed set for life by age 50. 50 is a nice number to stop. I don't want to work when I'm old, I want to enjoy life. I'll have enough money to support my family and my life, put my kids through college, and live a comfy lazy life indulging in my hobbies until I die. Maybe I'll start traveling with my future life and see the world, who knows. But at five zero, that's it for me. That's my ultimate mission with my life.

>when I'm 50 I'm going to start living my life I swear

If she's already close to you and still likes you, it's best to be honest.
The gold-diggers wouldn't have gotten this far in, and if she turns out to have some sort of issue with money management, it's best to coax it into the open now rather than after serious commitment.

Are you the user who always does these threads but changes the story up a little? This time its not an inheartence? Just tell her and stop being such a cuck to your banked bucks.

This right here

>200k a week is like 4k a week
Is inflation is Venezuela so bad that your income dies mid-sentence?

You have to be really fucking stupid to not be able to tell not even within the first few times of talking to a woman whether or not they're the type to be gold-diggers. It's funny seeing retards like OP think that the solution for their shitty judgmental skills is to make an even shittier decision by going out of their way to lie and deceive future potential partners.

Look, OP. If those "several girls" you've dealt before "obviously had ulterior motives," why don't you blame yourself for not seeing it? If the problem was obvious, shouldn't you blame yourself instead of people that haven't even done anything of the like to you? Learn from your mistakes, and move on? Like what regular people do that don't have emotional baggage like you so claim to not have?

>You have to be really fucking stupid to not be able to tell not even within the first few times of talking to a woman whether or not they're the type to be gold-diggers
Yeah because every girl is so fucking stupid to frontload their deceptiveness. Yes, some girls are obviously gold diggers, but they're not the ones we're worried about. They're honest with you and straight up about wanting money. If you proceed from there, its your own fault.

But it's pretty fucking dishonest to think all gold diggers are upfront and openly gold digging. People are worried about the sneaky ones that act genuine and play the long con so they can take half your money down the line when you're vulnerable. At least the honest gold diggers don't bullshit you and waste your time and destroy you emotionally.

>I didn't tell my girlfriend how much money I make because I've dealt with several girls who obviously had ulterior motives

>obviously had ulterior motives

Stop projecting, retard. She hurt you that bad?

People hide their toxic personalities all the time. It's pretty common in abusive relationships for the abuser to hide their true personality until you're "stuck" with them in marriage. I don't see why you think gold digging is any different. Yeah if you date Kim Kardashian, don't be surprised when she runs up your credit card. But not every girl is obviously in it for the bucks like she is. What about those regular ass girls who seem unimposing then all of sudden they ride your ass in court with the biggest divorce lawyer in the city then take your house and half your life savings? You think that's uncommon and every guy is just fucking stupid? You think Jeff Bezos is just retarded and just didn't see that his wife was after billions of dollars?

I'm not OP you retard. Projecting what? My argument is that not all girls make it obvious which is unequivocally true. Stop being a stupid faggot.

Wow, pretty bad when you bring Bezos ex wife into it, dude was caught cheating. She settled for a lot less than what she could have gone after if she wanted to be vindictive financially. They were together 14 years or so? Not bad and not good digger time frames IMO

Guys with this attitude towards women and sex get fucked over the worst. Don't be this bitter everyone. Your hatefulness and anger when she loses interest in sex because you're pissy and treat her like a sex hole, and don't treat her as your partner will push her away even harder, thus creating a never ending cycle of abuse and she will do everything in her power to get away and get back the time/effort she wasted, while you die in your misery.

Don't even bother to read the entire post, right? I know that one sentence would trigger an onslaught of idiots like you, and the only reason why it would is because deep down you guys know you truly are really that fucking stupid.

>Look, OP. If those "several girls" you've dealt before "obviously had ulterior motives," why don't you blame yourself for not seeing it? If the problem was obvious, shouldn't you blame yourself instead of people that haven't even done anything of the like to you? Learn from your mistakes, and move on? Like what regular people do that don't have emotional baggage like you so claim to not have?

This but ironically

It doesn't matter, it was just an example. The point is that just because they don't make it obvious for you that doesn't mean its not there. It's not uncommon for serial killers to look like regular people and be charismatic friendly guys. It's foolish to take everything at face value. Not saying you have to paranoid about everything but some basic protections doesn't hurt anybody.

In terms of wealth, I don't know how you protect it from a woman in 2019. Once you get married you're pretty much fucked. Pre-nups are a joke, it doesn't hurt to have one but its probably not going to work. So what can you do? All you can do is choose a good woman and hope for the best. But how do you vent the ones who are hiding their true intentions?

Well, it sounds like OP found a way. You may not like it but it works.

But he did see it, that's why he's not with them anymore.

It's amazing that the best example of a gold digger that you can handle is Kim Kardashian. Like she has to look like a blown up sex doll that is notorious for making a sex tape with a rapper, and that's the example you come up with. Really shows how fucking dumb you are. Like you can't just tell within talking to someone for a couple of minutes and grasp what kind of people they are and then decide whether you'd want to hang out with them or not again. But I guess losers like you think you don't even have that option. You'd just take what you get because you're just that desperate. I can tell you don't go out often.
Nice Jeff Bezos analogy. It made no sense because you're a dumb fuck who can't even get his facts straight and accidentally projected the story too much because you are just that stupid.

I don't understand why you faggots are so offended that he did a number from her. Who gives a shit? I don't see why anyone would care unless you're in it for the money. If my girlfriend turned to me and said "Oh by the way, I don't make $20,000 a year, I make $200,000. I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure you're a nice guy." I couldn't give a flying fuck, it changes nothing.

No need to bring it up. It’ll come up naturally. Not a big deal

Sure, he found a way to vet a woman only interested in him for his income. He may also be vetting a great woman if she finds out he has lied and trust is broken by his actions. Just being a realist for the potential outcome. I guess you are projecting your relationship experiences in your advice as I am. I'm lucky that mine seem to have been more positive than yours user, no gold diggers for me so far.
OP, I hope for your sake, if she finds out abiut your deceptions, you are willing to loose her forever if she dumps you for not being honest or believing in your relationship/her love for you/ her authentic self.

> I couldn't give a flying fuck, it changes nothing.
You're not a woman, retard. Women want to be sure you're capable of providing stability. Pretending to be in poverty is retarded because it's a valid concern of theirs if you are in fact destitute. You don't have to hide everything, of course--showing them that you can provide is enough without saying that you can afford a private jet.

And in OP's case, she's already shown an interest in staying with him regardless, so he might as well be honest so they can discuss life plans.

I like how you're nitpicking the analogies instead of the actual argument. Nice strawman. But I'll entertain you. Okay, the Jeff Bezos was wrong, cool, what does that change about women hiding their true intentions from you? Do you think every woman is forthright with what they want out of you? And yeah, I chose Kim Kardashian, so what? She's one of the more famous examples and is obviously a certain type of person. But the point was, not everyone is as obviously fucking greedy as she is?

Now do you mind tackling the actual argument instead of whining? Or will you continue to refuse to admit that women can be fucking deceptive?

>You're not a woman, retard.
And? If you're a woman, this changes nothing. Okay cool, you just found out your boyfriend isn't a poor piece of shit and is rich. Why are fucking upset? You now have a wealthy boyfriend and the fact that he's telling you means he fully trusts you. Stop being a fucking whiny bitch.

No one is arguing that women CAN'T be deceptive. Its arguing against OP's decision to be deceptive himself.

You want to talk about nitpicking, you colossal faggot? How about you reading only the first sentence here and disregarding everything in the post and continuing to go on your retarded charade of "W-WOMEN DECEIVE!!! THEY HURT!!! ADMIT IT!! WAHH!"
The point of the argument isn't whether or not I'm not refusing to admit women are fucking deceptive, dipshit. OP is the one being fucking deceptive, you absolute fucking sad excuse of a person. YOU are the one that keeps whining here. "Admit it! Women are deceptive!! :'((" God, if you had any fraction of self-awareness, you'd just stop posting because you are just embarrassing.

>Why are fucking upset?
Oh, please. This isn't about any individual situation, this is about standards of conduct which make certain situations more or less likely. If every man went out and pretended to be a pauper, you are placing an unreasonable burden on women by making it a crapshoot for them to find satisfactory partners. That a particular man turns out to have a particular income is irrelevant when the standard that enables such deception negatively impacts so many relationships.

For example, people get asshurt over boundaries because they take it personally. If you tell a girl that you don't want her visiting a male friend's house alone, she will often throw a shitfit because she assumes it just means you don't trust her not to cheat. But that's not the point. If it was an assumed standard that you don't put yourself in such situations, there would be far fewer instances of cheating in that manner across society as a whole--but that standard cannot be maintained if you can avoid it through personal hubris of "I'm too good to need it".

And it was a valid decision. I'm not saying OP wasn't deceptive, but he did it to protect himself. Deceptiveness is a dirty word and implies a level of maliciousness that is not always consistent with the act. Not everything is black and white, its a gradient. For example, if OP cheated and hid it from his girlfriend vs. him not talking his real income because he doesn't know shit about you and he wants to see if you're a good person first. Both deceptive technically, not equal in maliciousness.

I see no reason to care that he did this when its such a minor thing and it was to make him feel comfortable with you. It's easy to criticize his decision but nobody in this thread has offered an alternative because "lol you should just know automatically if shes a gold digger faggot" or just simply not doing it and just jumping in blindly. Those are not valid arguments, OP should protect himself. Every guy should protect themselves. It's just a matter of how.

>It's just a matter of how.
Everybody here already knows the answer is to hide your income until you get to know the person but nobody wants to admit it because they have a vendetta. Whether because they're a woman who have a vested interest or they're just jealous that this guy does well for himself. Men have so little protection from women just fucking their shit up. You can't really know if a girl is a bad person if she's hellbent on hiding it from you. Usually when you find out, its already too late.

These wouldn't sound as retarded if OP literally had kept it from her for 8 whole fucking months about it.

hadn't*

You make it sound like 8 months is a long time. It's too little in my opinion, he doesn't even live with her so realistically she can still turn out to be a piece of shit. You only see people's true colors when you live with them. It's not hard for her to put on her best face when she sees OP. Especially if its only on weekends or whatever.

But yeah, I would agree that she's probably fine. 8 months flies by in a flash, its easy to lose trash of time. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years and it feels like I met her 6 months ago.

I would say it's not a big deal for you to get a place and all that, though 8 months is a bit quick. Either way, I deal with this shit in my relationship. I live in relatively low cost comfort and my gf comes from money. She's pressured me for a year about it and it's resulted in me bleeding money I don't feel actually comfortable with spending. I think it's most important to see the true nature of this girl, her dreams, etc. See if she has plans for her future, that sort of thing. If she is a good person and all that, the money reveal will come at a good time, but the SECOND you reveal you have money, that was when I personally found out how much it mattered to my gf.

You must be quite young. You act like 8 months is a big deal when it's less time than a pregnancy.

Is it though? What is the "correct" number then? 6 months? 4 months? 1 month? One date? I don't feel like I knew my girlfriend 6 months in as much I do right now. I don't feel like I knew anybody 6 months in as much as I do now. It takes a pretty long time before the airs are gone and everybody is just themselves. That really just depends on the people involved. I don't think 8 months is that bad at all. If you know a girl as best as you can 8 month in, then people wouldn't look down on getting married 8 months into a relationship. But most people would agree that's way too quick. But why if we accept the idea that you probably know her as best as you ever will at that point?

Honestly, 8 months might even be too quick. It takes literally years before you really know a person. At this point, OP is just making an assumption. An educated assumption but an assumption nonetheless.

Again, and for the last time, you are just admitting how fucking stupid you are and how poor your judgment skills are. You, are admitting that 8 months isn't even enough for you to determine whether or not someone is a gold digger or an asshole.

"Less time than a pregnancy"? Are you actually kidding me. Who the fuck uses the length of a time of a pregnancy as a viable example for something like that? Are you legitimately autistic? Do you have a deficiency? God forbid someone like you even have children. And if you so happen to reply that you do for no other fucking reason than to just samefag and convince strangers over the internet that you have a gf or a wife or whatever-- be sure to know that sooner or later they'll grow up to be utterly disappointed to know what kind of pathetic loser you really are.

>if he didn't tell me about something as small as this what else isn't he telling me
>her thoughts when she finds out on her own
Tell her. It will save the drama that will come later and she will trust you more

What is your argument exactly? That we're not mind readers and fuck you for not being one? "Enough time to determine if someone is an asshole"? What is that amount of time out of curiosity? Oh that's right, its different for everyone because everyone is fucking different. We already went over this, some people are obviously pieces of shit and some people aren't. The methods change depending on how deceptive and sneaky that person is. This isn't rocket science.

There's my argument, are you going to reply to it or are you just going to samefag this entire thread to save your pathetic ego, you tiny faggot? Keep nitpicking, you loser.

So you have no argument and you're just throwing a temper tantrum because you were proven wrong? Well at least you let us know.

why are you so mad? lmao

You have to be trolling. Nobody is this dumb.

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You're the only fucking weirdo in this thread going off on a tangent complaining about how "WIMMEN HAVE HURTED ME AND DECEIEVED ME" when OP has explicitly stated that HE is the one who is doing the deceiving. No one is deceiving him or doing him any wrong, in fact he is directly causing pain to his girlfriend who, is either the dumbest gold digger that has ever lived, or genuinely loves him for the seemingly poor faggot that he is. (Hint: if it wasn't strikingly obvious to you as to how Kim Kardashian is to being a gold digger, it is probably the latter) You are fucking delirious for going on for an hour long crusade in this thread to rationalize OP's shitty behaviour, claiming he needs to "protect" himself. Protect himself from fucking what? The girl loves him. It's clear. What the fuck are you still going ON about? Just shut the fuck up, because no one wants to see your dirty laundry aired in this thread for everyone to see. Get a fucking therapist. Go talk to someone about how miserable your life is. Just leave.

Your entire post: I'm intentionally disregarding all the logical arguments or intentionally ignoring them because they make me feel bad. Boo hoo.

>Get a fucking therapist
The irony. Imagine being this mad because you got dismantled on the internet by random people.

have sex

The alternative way for one to protect themselves, on social, moral and personal emotional levels is to be honest. With themselves and others. OP can tell his girlfriend he has fears about being taken advantage of by gold diggers and that he has omitted some things to protect himself. Her behavior from this point will be the true test to if their relationship will stand. Nothing but good will eventually come from clarity and truth.

>Should I tell her my income or find some excuse as to why I can afford to just up and move so easily?
Don't even have to tell her your income imo. Like another user said just sit down with her and ask her "Do you think we should get a bigger place if we're going to live together?" and take it from there. See what kind of home you guys want and look at the prices and agree to settle on something together,

Clarity- OP is an idiot with a rabid 'muh logic..woman has hurt someone, somewhere at some point in time' BEWARE BOYS! Lying to protect your ego hidden as being pragmatic, conflicted user on 4 chan.

Oh, oof. Have you ever been pregnant for 9 months let alone dealt with a pregnant woman for 9 months? Where'd this even come from..

Sensible advice if OP wasn't pasta

OP could be honest all day, He could give her bank statements and access to his credit card if he wants. He could drop $10000 on her lap and see if she flinches greedily. If she doesn't want to reveal her hand, she's not going to. I don't see how there is still some misunderstanding here. It's not hard to resist temptation when you know there is a bigger prize at the end.

Again, this isn't a big deal. It's just a number. A number that has value to the wrong people. It's incredibly unsettling how people are fighting tooth and nail so they can know someone's income. It's incredibly unnerving. If people on the other side of these arguments are women, I'm INCREDIBLY concerned for the men around you.

Stop projecting and listen to this user here

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Not before marriage

This.

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Some of you don't go out and in times like these it really shows.

I think you are missing the point or are confused user. No one has implied in this thread that she COULDN'T react that way, but from what OP said in his original post, there wasn't any implication she was questioning him about his finances. OP wanted to know if he should disclose income because he wants to move in with her into a larger place. I think you are confusing a few anons and potentially our genders.

Look at all the salty ass women in this thread because OP didn't tell gold digger #100390400 that he has big bills. For the record, all women are gold diggers. It doesn't matter if she's open about it or not. Women are after that coin. Thots come in all shape and sizes.

>there wasn't any implication she was questioning him about his finances
Who said anything about questioning his finances?

Not like you'd be able to anyway

Second part where you say people are fighting tooth and nail to know about others finances. This is about OP right?

[spoiler]who hurt you user?[/spoiler]

This samefagging is atrocious

Look, you don't need to make a big reveal about this. Just say "my place is a bit small for 2 people, let's go look at apartments" and when you go look at apartments go to ones you can afford. Unless you outright lied to get and said you were poor, it's not too surprising that someone might have been happy living well below their means. If she asks why, be honest. Tell her that when living on your own you didn't feel you needed a large space, but with two people living together a larger place seems necessary.

Now, if you lied and said outright you were poor that's another story. Then the question should be "why did I lie to my girlfriend for so long?"

After reading this thread I don't understand the issue here. He didn't tell her something himself, what's the big deal? Are you obligated to tell your partner everything about you? No secrets at all? Can I ask every woman I see to tell me her sexual history in explicit detail? And she has to comply or she's being deceptive? We're going to be together so I should know what I'm getting myself into, right? I mean, a guy who's looking for a serious relationship should have the right to know if his girlfriend is the town bicycle, right? This just seems petty to me.

Of all things to be arguing about, his income? I still don't know my ex-girlfriend's income. I still don't know my parents income. I don't even know what I made last year and my taxes weren't even that long ago, I forgot that shit the next day. Sure I have a general idea but this is just weird to me. I've never had the "income" conversation with anyone. Most people just ask what you do and derive from there. What did OP say when she has asked what he did?

>I told her I just work in some crappy office job, while technically not untrue, it implies a pretty low level salary
Well, that's all she needs to know then and that's all I need to know. If he didn't lie and he just worded it in a way that's ambiguous then that's perfectly acceptable. I'm assuming this was at the start of their relationship and she didn't bother prying further. I know people are going to bring up a lie by omission or whatever, but who the fuck just tells you their income? Maybe when you're living together and you plan to get married in the future. But who just says their income straight up? I've never had a girl just ask me that before. I would be sketched out if a couple months in my girlfriend just asks me my financial details.

I think OP should have every right to protect himself, but I also think at a certain level of the relationship she does have the right to know. 8 months in? I don't know chief.

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>Should I tell my girlfriend I'm not poor?
no, matter of fact pretend you are so you know the love is real

Really makes you think.

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I think OP is a bit exited to tell her and do a big reveal of how much money he has and how she'll be impressed by it. I'm in the exact same situation (except having a gf part) and I would be dying to tell her at this point.

Is this a reverse take on that reddit roastie screencap? This reads like a reverse take on that reddit roastie screencap. You know exactly which one.

This is a pasta. It's been going around ocasionally.

It seems to me we have this thread every few months and the response is always partisan between "you should've been honest to start" and "it's really only your business ever so it's up to you if she knows"

Big one, I think, is figuring out if you care enough. Eight months isn't a lot of time with a girl.

And the pasta is clearly derived from that reddit screencap that has been going around since like 2013.

Does she agree that your current place is not big enough for both of you?
If yes, then talk to her about what place you should get together and how you are going to pay for it. Do not tell her your income because it does not matter. Tell her your current living expenses and that you can not afford to alter them. (Savings is a valid expense too.) If she suggests a slightly bigger place that you can afford together then she is a keeper.

You should think a bit ahead also.. What kind of housing needs will you have in 10 years? When will you have kids? Do not talk about these things with her unless it feels right. If you are just dating and want to try moving in together in order to play house, then your relationship is not ready for this conversation.

Tell her that you got a promotion and now you can afford to move out in to a better house.wait for a little and then buy a better car. If you want to play it safe, go to a fancy dinner and tell her you got a promotion.

Jared???