My gf and I have been together for 2 and a half years. Recently she's become more Christian and we had a talk about how she doesn't want to have sex until marriage. We've had plenty of sex beforehand for about a year and half before this too so this was a bit of a shock too me. I told her I disagree but I still love her and respect her decision. It's been a few months since I last had sex and it's bugging me a lot. Along with a few other moral disagreements we have, I've been doing a lot of thinking. It's difficult cause I still love her and she still loves me but this is tearing me apart. What should I do?
GF stuff
Zachary Ward
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Liam Miller
sounds like it's time to destroy her religion with facts and logic
Brayden Cook
she's retarded. do you want to have retarded kids raised by a religious nutbag?
Brayden Peterson
I've debated with her about religion before and whenever I come to a logical conclusion she goes "muh faith" I'm not even atheist, I believe a god can exist but when I tell her I wanna argue about a creator not religion she always brings it back to religion
Jordan Bennett
what kind of simpleton lets a book tell them not to fuck their boyfriend
Isaiah Brown
My girlfriend
Nicholas Rivera
Break up, she will continue to go down the 'muh religion, muh faith' path as she gets older. She has already proven she can change her mind and do a 180 in behavior and values. Immagine what she can turn into after you get married if that's the path taken...
Christopher Reed
Really interesting point. She's a vegan too but has recently been cheating and eating cheese and shit despite being the only part of veganism she should follow cause she's lactose intolerant. But on the other hand, is it wrong to change values?
Isaac Rodriguez
She wants you to make a commitment, and she will continue to take things away from you until she is gone. She's already started looking for someone else.
Lots of men don't like marriage because the state gets involved, and changes the contract without anyone's consent. Lots of men who got married in the 60's and 70's found out in the 80's when their women decided to become independant, they got screwed over by all these new laws designed to punish grifters and idiots. Some of that is now being backed off because young men are literally not asking women out because of how far its gone. Things are changing.
The way I'd deal with it is talk to a few priests around town and ask them about joining their church and having them involved in a simple prenuptual agreement. The agreement is simply, if the two of you have such a bad dispute you decide to get divorced, you will involve a jury, selected by the priest, to hear the case and decide on a binding arrangement. What that binding arrangement is for the jury to decide on and they can decide, for example, that you do not get divorced. This gives you options to work with the priest. For example, if your wife is cheating on you, you hire a private detective and get the proof together, then she concieves a baby from another race, they can decide a divorce is in order, she needs to get neutered, and she's out of the church.
You then propose, put a ring on her finger, join that church, then a few weeks later when you start going for the license, you get the prenup inked by a lawyer, signed, and in a safety deposit box. If she doesn't like the prenup, she's probably a bitch.
I think the priest, by the way, would think highly of you for taking that route.
Ryan Nelson
I'm not getting married anytime soon though, I'm 19 and we've only been together for 2 and half years. Not at the point of contracts and shit
Caleb Murphy
>we had a talk about how she doesn't want to have sex until marriage. We've had plenty of sex beforehand for about a year and half
Every time.
She's demonstrably right not to have sex before marriage, but it's a bit too late for it to matter in her case (she has already broken that rule, after all). OP, the compromise I can think of is as follows--you promise to commit to her by marrying her, and you also promise to raise your kids with the values she has, but in exchange she will continue to have sex with you. If you can't do that, break up, and let her find a christcuck who thinks born-again virgins actually exist.
If you claim to espouse logical conclusions, it's also fully logical to wait until marriage if your goal is stable and happy relationships. The illogicality on her part is that she's already on the wrong side of the limit she imposed, not the limit itself.
Kayden Wood
No, it will only be negative if the new values don't align with yours (like having sex in a monogamous relationship) people do change as life happens, we mature and can apply our experiences to how we grow and behave. Changing religions is pretty major for people, let alone her age group. Just an indicator that she will be more likely to have major fluctuations in opinions or ideals down the road.
Thomas Ward
If you're just looking to have some sex and fun, dump her and start humping around. You're at the prime age for that. Why waste it on her?
Otherwise, make a fucking commitment, be a fucking man, and be fucking smart about it instead of a fucking imbecile.
Couples who get married before the age of 25 have a 50\50 shot at making it. After 25, it's a 95% chance of staying together.
The contract protects both of you from the state.
Another option is to begin making a life together without being married, which if you cohabitate long enough, the state says you are married.
You do not know how many good things you get in life. Don't go fucking it up because you're scared or think you deserve a personal harem. You don't.
Benjamin Gonzalez
Yeah that's not a compromise I'm willing to make, I don't wanna force my kids into a religion just cause their mom believes in it
Jaxon Gray
I'll keep these in mind, thanks guys it means a lot
Easton Johnson
>Couples who get married before the age of 25 have a 50\50 shot at making it. After 25, it's a 95% chance of staying together.
That's not really true, I don't know where you heard it. In OP's case, we're talking about marrying a girl who whored herself out presumably before 18, and he's not even 20--that's a textbook Bible belt case, and why they have such high divorce rates (well, that, and the impact of almost half the population being black).
But statistically, the only thing you're right about is that age 25 is roughly the ideal to get married at. Divorce risk increases as you marry earlier than that, and recent trends show increasing divorce risk into your 30s (and that's FAR from a "95% chance of staying together). The trend isn't a direct causal one, even if it is related to other factors. It's changed significantly since a few decades ago, and the only consistent part is that very young marriages are unstable, and that stability is best attained around age 25.
OP's gf would have had a statistically excellent chance at a stable marriage if she had been waiting from the outset.
I'm not talking about the religion. I'm talking about the morals.
If this isn't something you can give a little on, then the relationship is already doomed.
Jayden Jackson
Well the religion coincides with the morals, or at least the ones that I disagree with are religious
Kayden James
> the religion coincides with the morals
True, but they're not synonymous. This isn't the point. It's clear to me that the differences in your relationship are too great to be overcome, since you object to the religion so deeply.
But it doesn't take religion to find merit in the specific moral your gf is embracing now. That's just something to keep in mind down the road. I'm not religious, but I am still waiting until marriage because it's the smart thing to do (if you want a good marriage, that is).
For example:
onlinelibrary.wiley.com
>"I find that premarital sex or premarital cohabitation that is limited to a woman's husband is not associated with an elevated risk of marital disruption. However, women who have more than one intimate premarital relationship have an increased risk of marital dissolution."
psycnet.apa.org
>"Both structural equation and group comparison analyses demonstrated that sexual restraint was associated with better relationship outcomes, even when controlling for education, the number of sexual partners, religiosity, and relationship length."
Owen Brown
you need to convert to christianity (chad religion), and then tell her that you're going to start doing your own things. i'm not saying to cheat, i'm saying go do shit without her. when she texts, text her back hours later. if she calls don't pick up, just text her with "whats up?". start treating her like a friend, instead of your girlfriend. start going to the gym, doing a sport, etc. anything to get away from her.
Do that for about a month, 2 months max, and she'll wanna talk. then point out you're just busy becoming the man you've always wanted to be. don't say "im leaving you alone because no sex". it'll just become an argument. she'll eventually miss you enough that sex will be her go to-to get your attention. women crave a man with desire and pride. be that man OP.
Elijah Cruz
She'll still be able to hold out til marriage. Don't underestimate the power of white Jesus dick.
Jaxon White
she's given it up before, you think she won't give it up again in the future? its a hard catch to find a religious woman who is starting to experience what it means to have morals. she just needs to understand that even though its a sin, what would Jesus want? sex is the expression of love (it should be), i think Jesus would be more happy with a premarital sexual relationship that could end up in a great marriage rather than a relationship that ends because the man is sexually frustrated because his girlfriend decided to be a born again virgin.
Owen Hernandez
>i think Jesus would be more happy with a premarital sexual relationship that could end up in a great marriage rather than a relationship that ends because the man is sexually frustrated
That's the guy who said "go forth and sin no more". I'm the user who suggested compromising for the sake of the next generation, but if we're solely talking about religion, then her obligation as an individual is clear--no more fornication.
From that religious standpoint, if she's serious about it, her decision would probably be to end this relationship and find someone who will wait. That's going to be borderline impossible because she's already fornicated, of course.
Michael Hughes
>have sex until marriage
It's not the purity is it?!
She want to control the relationship/
She took a stand basically telling you what to do: propose and get married.
If you play like she wants then she'll always drop her lockdown move with bs excuse.
You need to compromise on something, not all but also take a sand of your own or you'll look like a tool idiot.
If you don't want to be ruled by your gf through pussy and other shit you need to assert yourself.
Here's what I'd do:
>Sure we won't have sex but bjs don't count, now if we're talking trad stuff I want you more active in the kitchen