You go back in time, meet a 13yo version of yourself sitting at a park bench

Absolutely nothing because I didn't sit around on park benches at the age of 13 so clearly this is some alternate timelime and anything I tell myself would be irrelevant.

I beat the shit out of them and tell em get tough faggot.

Tell myself all the major events that will happen in the future and the specific dates so I can be known as a prophet and form my own cult.

Go to Jow Forums and read the fuckin sticky. (of course there wasn't a Jow Forums back then)

Don’t join JROTC, or at least keep doing school sports with it. Fucking study too dude.
Also don’t get tripped up on girls
Normal shit

Destroy your father’s church before he can scam Mexicans.

fuck all the bitches

i'd probably just tell him to 'kys, nigger,' and then probably pull off my belt and start flailing it at him and chasing him down the road.

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get bit coin, don't date rikki

I'd suck his dick.

I said the same thing when I saw her. She has man hands but also has an amazing ass and huge knockers. She's a pretty good singer, but a crazy bitch.

Uma Kompton is way better.

this is gonna hurt me to the same extent that its gonna hurt you

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Start lifting and stop being a Godless retard

youtu.be/L4TOyOz0E7k

Work every second, buy Bitcoin

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It’s called “Bitcoin”. Mine early, put all money you have into it before it hits 10cents or a dollar. Hold until it’s 15,000 bucks, sell.

Also, bring a condom to Katie’s house for her 16th birthday party, you won’t regret it!

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Buy weights and a squat rack as soon as you save up $500. Your growth won't be stunted, and you'll be a hulk by 17.
When you go to college talk to your classmates and make more friends than the zero you did in your first two years. Also, study more consistently, don't blow off coursework.
Learn to play an instrument.

Fuck the girl who was interested in you during freshman year of college. Ignore the idiot from her HS who said she had brain worms

stop smoking weed

Take weight lifting more serious. Skip college and get into a trade. Take a year off from dating in your 20's but not any longer than that. Get back in game sooner than later. Don't smoke pot everyday. Don't take pain killers. Dont take phenibut.

why're you sitting alone at a park bench you little fag? go home

Stay in university. Don't marry three times.

Women aren't men so why would you let women tell you what it means to be a man? Alpha Chads at school aren't the enemy, they're role models and some can be mentors if you respect them.

Join the football team instead of cross country, start lifting with your dad and brother, start reading as much as you can, and don’t stress about girls so much. Be a little more normal, wear more deodorant, and take their offer to help you fix your fashion

Bang the slutty teen girls who are after you, just so I can relive the memory.

>your beloved cat has 2 years left to live haha

Seriously though, for one I'd tell myself to stop being such a cringy faggot, get a haircut and start working out
Normal stuff
I'd also probably tell me about the future just because both of me would enjoy that

For half of Jow Forums this should read “you go forward in time and meet your 13yr old self”.

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Don't change a thing

Get on Bitcoin early. Start selling when it hits $10k. Take around $100k and put it down on Leicester City in 2016 for the premiere league championship. No more worries for the rest of your days.

And don't fuck Jen. She wasn't worth it.

don't marry femanon

keep talking kid

she won't find the fact that you wank over her to be a compliment. DON'T FUCKING TELL HER YOU WANK OVER HER

It's okay you're not going to a ivy league school put more effort in school and focus on philosophy forget politics.

Kill yourself, it's only going to get worse going forward, and you're just delaying the inevitable. You're going to be 30 while still being a virgin, with no life, future, or job.

Phenibut didn't make you a social alpha Chad? What will?

eat/drink what you want but do Insain crazy walking/running/MMA ragime. instead of school self educate online, Stab people you hate. End up in prison or dead, but happy with life rather then a slave.

top kek

Everyone you think is your friend is not your friend. Find different friends.

Avoid college whores like the plague.

Dont date her user

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Fuck Diane.
No, don't fuck her, just fucking dump her because she isn't going to put out.
Fuck Rose.
She is loyal to a fault and wants to fuck you senseless.

when she calls you cute and leans towards you, take it out this time

run away and become a young serial killer who targets niggers
when caught say "I'm Jewish! Those stupid nigger goyim didn't see this one coming HAH!"
and be freed instantly.

but now it is too late.
the niggers got away.
hh

Invest everything you can into Microsoft, or Google, or Apple...

Lift weights.

Don't reject the only girl who will ever ask you out and don't get expelled

Reverse Image say its the musician Lana Del Rey, i doubt she's a man tho.

Take an ar15, a GoPro and just have fun people will love it

Bang all the Loli's you can, while it's still not a prison sentence for you

>I'd tell myself to stop being such a cringy faggot, get a haircut and start working out
This basically.

Fucking invest on bitcoin when they come up, then sell in 2015 or whatever the peak was.

Porn is as addictive as cocaine. Porn is anything that you look at to get your peepee hard

Facebook, Crispr, Bitcoin, SpaceX.

Invest as soon as you hear these names. Also, Masters in Chemistry, Cisco Wine is nasty, G is a whore, T is a whore, and R is the one. Finally, LEARN PHP YOU FUCKING SLACKER.

Also buy bitcoin.

don't smoke pot and don't watch you tube conspiracy videos

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Subscribe to Pewdiepie

I think I'd literally kill him. Much easier than blowing my own brains out.

I'd tell him about the tranny teachers.

when you go to college the first girl you meet is going to be beautiful but batshit crazy. the second one is going to be reasonable looking, have nice tits, and be super smart. hang on to that one because she's going to become well known in her field.

Does he actually fuck the tranny?

Put 'em up nigger. We'll never get another chance to fight our time displaced selves.

this. Also, buy bitcoin.

look at myself and cry. that would scare the fuck out of little me.

Start lifting weights ya weak fuck.

She has man hands? Fucking hell thats a killer for me.

Start learning how to grow cannabis.

Don't dump her. They are all crazy, but this one fucks the best.

>don't trust anyone in your family.
This is one of the most important pieces of information ever , the jew killed the family unit.
Family will fuck you over worse than anyone

get in shape younger, fuck every chance you get, focus on your mad skillz

Don’t let your psychopath Boomer father destroy your relationship with your Gen X mother. He was trying to buy you with with his disgusting Boomer-kike money and sacrificed you to hurt your mother as revenge for divorcing him. He never intended on being a good father and will only lead you to ruin in every way. You’ll spend your teenage years as an obese gamer and it will take until your early twenties to be furnished access to your first pussy and it won’t even be great because she’s not into it and knows you don’t know what you’re doing.

Long story short: neck the Boomers.

wonder if that would cause you to disappear or if your time travel caused a split timeline that would leave you alive

Times like this remind me I should probably memorize an unlikely sporting event so my 13 y/o self can make a shitload of money. Like I can tell him to bet on Leicester winning the EPL when they have Jamie Vardy and Riyad Mahrez and..fuck, was it 2016?? See, I could potentially be rich, but you just can't remember this shit...

Laser keyboards might sound cool but invest in Amazon instead. Start planning to move out of the west because you don't want to be stuck there when it collapses. Cheer up and try to have some fun buddy, it'll get better.

INVEST IN BITCOIN

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start hitting that gym asap or your teen years are going to be awful, you are great, but you have to work for greatness

"Finish the Anglos at Dunkirk."

I tell him to sell his delicious boipussy for money just like Griffith did, then invest everything in Apple and bitcoin when that appears

Afterwards I fund Jow Forums to enact political change and bring about the 4th reich

don't go to Sweden, it will ruin your soul
be proud of your country
get a job, anything will do
find a girl and marry her early
join the military
read as much as possible
never loose hope

Almost everybody here is stupid, evil and full of shit. And stay away from the thots.

>She will never love you.
>Women are human beings, men are human doings.
>Go your own way.
>Read stoic philosphy

Lift, bro.

Hypotheticals like this are useless and stupid. No answer.

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Come here you little shit, now let me tell you about the Jews.

Don't join the navy.

Really depends on OP's rules. If I wouldn't disappear then it would seem I'd be stuck back in the 90s anyway because there don't seem to be any provisions by coming forward in time again. God that would be hell - watching it all happen again, helpless to stop it but 20 years older. Could pick up some cheap sealed SNES games, on the other hand.

Honestly, I'd beat the shit out of myself above all else.

Buy Bitcoin, invest heavy in Uber, make sure you super duper train the dog you get not to run out on the street under any circumstances.

IN THE NAVY!!

I try talking to him but he screams at the drunken disheveled lunatic yelling about jews and soibeans before him and leaves find an adult

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Buy at least 10000 BTC or as much as you can and spend enough money to keep it secure. The price will eventually rise above $10000. At that point, sell it to become rich. I would also explain the outcome of all major sporting events

Tell myself to invest into bitcoin when it comes up. I had the ability when it first came around and dismissed it. Tell myself to cash out at the $17k mark because it will crash after that.

Also tell him to not kick Julie out of the car