No more fucking bullshit, I want a girlfriend NOW, tell me how to get one without giving stupid vague advice

You can still do whatever you want, even with a gf.

There is no one rule of advice to follow. You can't follow instructions to get a gf, people don't work like that. Realize this and grow up

You need to genuinely respect women or you will never get one, that's the problem, most of you guys spend your day demeaning women. Women are very intuitive and they see through any act.

It's shit until she's gone, and then they're the best thing ever. Gotta find a woman you can have a boring, steady life with and enjoy that boring ride, if you want a true long term relationship.

sure you can, pal

Then they break and suffer the loss for the rest of their life. I'm not kidding when I say people long for their exes...often their entire life.

Man nice plumb and thic bodies.

Any por actress like this?

Having a gf is actually really stressful if you're the kind of person obsessed with getting one. I couldn't even enjoy my first gf because I was such a needy sperg. If she didn't text back in an hour, or forgot to reply back, I was a wreck.
I had to take like a year off after realizing that I was too much of a fuckup for an intimate relationship and worked on myself. I'm in a much better place now.

Fuck women - you don't have the luxury of being anyone worth coming home to yet if you're even here.

Go work on yourself, bust your ass and acquire larger paychecks, enhance the overall quality and standards of your life. I bet your room is messy, maybe there's dishes sitting in the sink, and you probably have urine that's visible on your toilet bowl.

Go fucking clean and be productive you loser. Being self-sufficient is THE most attractive quality a human being can have.

This. So much this

>You need to genuinely respect women or you will never get one

Nigga

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How?

I always listen to the advice.

I can't wait weeks, I want a gf now.

I did.

Fuck you.

Then why do people give advice if they know morning will come of it?

I do respect women that's why I want one in my life.

I do work on myself.

What more can I do?

Go talk to a girl

Get on Tinder and Bumble and start swiping.

People give advice to help autists like you move in the right direction. None of it is a guarantee for a getting a gf. Lifting and all that is all good for you by itself, and one of its benefits is that it makes you more attractive. But that won't magically make a fucking girl fall into your lap. Talking to women is good, but again, isn't a fucking guarantee. That's why it's always "stupid vague advice." There just isn't a single "do this one trick for quick results" piece of advice out there

OK, so time for actual real legit advice. You want to know how to get a girlfriend? This is how:

Become actual friends with females.

I am not even fucking joking. If you cannot be actually be friends with a girl and keep it platonic without secretly pining for them then you have almost no hope of having any kind of healthy romantic relationship.

Hey, listen, before you sperg out or some other faggot comes in with the "hur dur guys and girls can never be just friends!!!", hear me out:

1. Girls are friends with other girls.

2. Friends hang out together all the time.

3. Therefore, being friends with girls means that you will also have the chance to meet their female friends.

4. Being friends of their friend automatically makes you a safer and more trustworthy male than random-ass strangers.

5. Furthermore, the fact that you are an actual friend of their FEMALE friend makes you less risky/threatening because you have proven (to some extent) that you're not one of those clingy "nice guys" who's only pretending to be a friend for pussy => in order for this to actually work you ACTUALLY HAVE TO BE A PLATONIC FRIEND because it is really obvious otherwise if you are an orbiter.

6. Being actual friends with girls improves your social skills and ability to be more relaxed around members of the opposite sex, making you a more attractive aspect.

Do you even know what a girlfriend is? Why do you want one?

I've seen this happen all the time with people but if actual experience matters to you this is almost exactly the trajectory that I followed (not on purpose).

When I was younger I had actual crushes and girls ask me (in a friendly way) whether I had any/many female friends. While I could've taken this as an insult, it made me realize that what they were implying was true - I DIDN'T have any female friends, I only hung out with dudes. Even when there were girls around that were friends of friends I NEVER talked to them - they were just kind of there (to me).

So I took it upon myself to start conversing more and actually getting to know the girls in my extended friend/acquaintance circle. I talked to my sister's friends, I talked to my friend's girlfriends, I hung joined outings and gatherings for events I usually never went for in the past (that included female friends) and actually genuinely had fun.

At the end of the day my goal was really more to grow myself and learn how to socialize with others but I ended up seeing a few girls along the process and it definitely gave me the skills to woo over my (now) wife.

reincarnate

Height
Status
Wealth
In order of importance

>reddit formatting
You don't have hope.

The fact that you want attracting a girl to be the same as attracting a man means that you will never ever see a vagina in person.

Women are impressed indirectly.
If you do something nice for their mother, they like you.
If you do something that impresses their friends, they like you.
If you obtain a goal that they respect, they like you.

Your value is how they would potentially fir into your life.

You will get a gf if you start to live your life to its fullest. But I know you’re a rucking loser that does nothing but play online games, lives with mother, and bitches about how hard your shitty little business degree classes are. Get fucked.

Look at this retarded incel spewing his npc programming. He has no self-awareness, no understanding why he has never managed to kiss a girl, or what women actually look for in a man.

Nigga u need to go back to therapy or some councelling shit. Somethings blocking you from seeing how things are really like. It won't be too long until you'll be depressed and suicidal as shit if you aren't already

im tall, fit and educated but an adult virgin
there is no salvation for the ugly-faced

this website is for 18+

Correct, which brings up the question, why are you posting here?

you're obviously no older than 16 and have no idea what you're talking about
anyone with experience knows that what I said is true for the majority of females but of course there will be outliers

Because they were told they want them.
And so the problem: most of these people are antisocial.

But how ugly are you REALLY?
I am a manlet with a receded chin, and I don't really have trouble.

Look, you posted something completely wrong, something that you can only learn from incel memes. It's clear you're an indoctrinated incel. This is not the board for your kind to shit up, so please kindly go back to wherever you crawled out from.

1.5cm receded chin, big nose, shit hairline
i look normal from the front but absolutely shockingly subhuman from the side

Just get a lifelike doll. It's how China handles their shortage on women, too.

not an argument

The argument is, you posted something wrong and retarded, and now are going all incel buttmad when you were called out on it. You do not belong on this board.

>be 26
> finally get a GF
>turns out I couldn't resist a qt 21 yo virgin
>She said she had one bf beforehand for a week and it was only kissing between classes.
>She told me she was still a virgin. I really didn't care that much till later. I wasn't even bringing it up.
> i knew she was a virgin because her father is super protective of her and won't let her drive or stay out after 5pm without a reason.
> plus you can just tell by how she acted and talked about relationships and stuff
> her mom is russian and her dad is Arabic
> we were fooling around and kissing a lot
>we finally have sex after about 2 months
> have to teach her everything even though I was also a virgin
> she was just as nervous as me and that honestly was a beautiful moment
> we didn't have much time before she had to get picked up. So we didn't even climax
> the second try we did.
> now 1 month later I am more in love than before.
> i used to think i wanted a slutty degenerate girl that would do whatever in the bed and smoke weed with me, but now i know that showing them these things for their first time is much more special to both of us.
> idk how I'm going to get the approval of her muslim father.
>we might end up separated, but I don't reget any of these moments.

>incel
>incel
>incel
you're the one that got all buttmad sperging out about incels
*yawn* get some new material you sound like a broken record

>No more fucking bullshit
BS is all I got kid, you're on your own.

>listen
That's not enough, it's all about action.

I'd like one Yumyum Thai!

>I want a girlfriend NOW
You're projecting, you don't really want one.

>then i gave up
That's the best game to play.
>It's shit until she's gone,
>copulins

Stop acting like a thirsty cuck, and maybe you’ll get some pussy.

>realizing that I was too much of a fuckup
What if you could use the fuck upness for your advantage?

You posted which is a literal incel mantra. Nobody with any shred of intelligence would parrot this.

>5'8" manlet
>part time pizza delivery driver going to school for classical guitar
>live almost paycheck to paycheck
I've been in a number of relationships and could get a gf right now. Stop repeating this bullshit

>You need to genuinely respect women
Anything but this.

>Become actual friends with females.
You do realize females are not real friends with other females because they are backstabbers and always jealous.

>1. Girls are friends with other girls.
>
>2. Friends hang out together all the time.
friendzone
He's been badgered by the
>have sex
meme

>You will get a gf if you start to live your life to its fullest.
I think this user might be on to something.

Thats not what projecting means. Read a psychology book, instead of stealing words you see autistic pseudo-intellectual faggots on social media use for shitting on strangers.

Meet one at uni. Easy

Friend zone doesn’t exist, the reason you’re lonely is because you’re just fat and gay. Even filthy frank knows that.

I am starting to get that.
They are so friendly when talking to each other, but finds it weird when I don't want to shit on them when they aren't there.
Why is that?

I never said psychological projection, you moron.
>to calculate an amount or number expected in the future from information already known:
dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/projecting
Yet his projection is not correspondent with reality since women are not that great.

Yes it does and it's so bitter if you really just want some pussy.

>Why is that?
I just told you.

How?
Just try to sit with students at the cafeteria or something?

you seem like a needy piece of shit. Thats why you are single. Work on improving yourself and don't focus on girls rn.

But women are human too right?
Don't they need friends like the rest of us?
Men see women who shit on other people as a negative, so it can't be advantageous to do this.

When will you learn incels that you don't want to have a gf? You just want to put your penis into vagina. Just go fuck a whore and stop crying about getting a girlfriend because relationship will get you more problems than you already have.

>But women are human too right?
No, not really.

>I always listen to advice
That's one thing. The other is actually make usage out of said advice. The former poster's right: most people who ask here for advice do batshit bcuz of lazyness, insecurities, incel mindsets or other shit.

Parties. Friends of friends. Normie stuff

here's how buddy

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Talk to a lot of girls without trying to get them to be your girlfriend. Just talk to them, eventually one will be interested.

You think you want a GF, but you really don't. Let me tell you a story.
>be me
>enjoy a life of shitposting on Jow Forums, eating junk food, smoking weed, then masturbating before passing out
>work a low level office job that gives me enough money and freedom to do the above
>eventually fall for the "get a GF" meme because co-workers and family constantly badger me about being a loser
>work on myself to actually be attractive to women, eventually get a GF
>It starts out okay but eventually I become miserable because I had to change everything about myself just to be attractive to women
>get dumped and go back to living the way I like
The thing is, I am attracted to women, but I also really like living the way that I do. I don't have any ambitions besides the above lifestyle. I just let myself get suckered into acting normal because of peer pressure. Sex feels nice, but the payoff is not really much better than jerking off, and it requires way more effort. Society puts pressure on you to act a certain way because they want you to work your ass off to make other people rich instead of just opting out and doing the bare minimum so you can live a life of sloth and shitposting. There have been times over the years where I try again just to make sure, and every time I end up wanting to go back to how things were before. This is where I belong. And I suspect it's where most of you guys belong too. We need to accept that there's nothing actually wrong with it and fully reject society's attempt to force us into a path we don't really want to live.

Will you just kill yourself once you turn 60? You won't have a family to help you once you get to disabled and you'll always have to work to live.

In most countries people depend on their children to care for them once they get old.

Sounds like your just depressed because you don't know what to do with your life and it's easier to settle with the lifestyle you have now. It won't last. Video games won't give you the same feelings as before and you continue to feel more and more lost. Same thing with relationships that don't produce children. The whole purpose of interacting with the opposite sex is to produce children. If you are a decent human being, once you see your child pop out you'll change permanently with or without a belief in god.

You [spoiler]and me[/spoiler] don't want a gf though. You want dopamine rush from getting something you don't have. Once you get it it will be another thing. It's alright though, that's how humans are wired.

Once you get disabled you'll wind up in a nursing home either way.

He’s not looking in the future, he’s bitching about what he wants now.
That’s why the context looks like you don’t know what you’re talking about, you lost your argument the moment you started name calling whoever you replied to. Try harder next time brainlet.

If if you're talking about now you still have a projection for that particular thing, a projection from the past that is dwelling.
Checkmate, asshole.

Just "a girlfriend"

Not a hot one, a good one, a nice one, one with a good family, or any standards at all?

Just.... "a" girlfriend?

ok download tinder
meet girls irl
be nice to all of them
until one keeps wanting to see you again***
then keep hanging out
eventually call her your gf.

***If this step fails, then stop being miserable, start being warm. Read self-help books on your personality.

Lol you better research how that actually works. You also betting on medicare and social security still working in the future.

Most nursing homes that accept medicare without any extra money are the worst places. They have all the crazys and violent Alzheimer's patients. They are run and operated by African migrants that don't give a fuck about you.

Children have to pay for their parents to stay in a nursing home even with medicare and social security.

Yes. Possibly sooner than that. Funny thing, most elderly people I know just get shipped off to retirement homes because their kids don't want to deal with the burden. Even if I had kids, I wouldn't want to be a burden on them anyways.
I am certainly depressed, but I've always been this way, even during the periods where I eat right, work out, etc. Acting the part of a normal person was a lot of work and it was tiring for me. I'm smart enough to know that in order to succeed in life you have to put in effort, but I just don't want anything badly enough to justify that level of work.
As far as kids go, I never really wanted any, at least not beyond the whole "it's our biological imperative to reproduce." My parents were shitty so I know how shitty it would be for someone like myself to have kids of my own. Besides, my brother has kids, so my family line will continue just fine without me. Everybody wins.

>arab father
so she is rich

>Children have to pay for their parents to stay in a nursing home even with medicare and social security.

It's called having extra savings.

>tell me how to get one
Ask girls out.

This is why people have retirement accounts. No one with any sense expects to survive on social security and medicare alone.

this post is full of bad advice
>You need to genuinely respect women
I knew some alpha dudes that fucked the best looking girls in every social circle and they used to talk shit behind these girls' back, talking about their pussy and such
>or you will never get one, that's the problem
opposite of what ive witnessed many times
>Women are very intuitive and they see through any act.
this is a load of shit. said alphas used to sweet talk these girls easily into bed, and obviously it was all an act because they would show me pictures of these girls naked and talk about how their cunt smells and how bad she rides....

(1/3)
Use online dating. Seriously. It works when you do it right. That said, it's still not easy. No real reward in life is ever easy, except orgasms. If you have some working limbs and genitals you can usually orgasm almost any time you want, and it's a pretty sweet reward in itself.
But yes, NOT TINDER, YOU FUCK.
Use something like OkCupid or PlentOfFish (don't fucking pay for a dating site or you end up getting limited results, many of which feel that "I want to get my money's worth" and have higher and shallower standards on average), where you can actually write or fill-out a decent profile that explains you in a nutshell, put up a picture or two, and view others' profiles, so it's easier to look for things you absolutely need ("need", not necessarily "want", gotta be realistic), and things you absolutely should avoid ("red flags", whatever those happen to be for you), to know whether to try to contact the person or not.

Remember: Don't get picky. It's easy to start getting picky when you see a big wall of faces of different single-and-looking women in your area all right beside each other. It's easy to get caught up playing "good, better, best" before you even really learn about people.

Again, be realistic. Describe yourself in positive terms, hide things that are private and don't really affect others even if they lived with you (save that for deep into a relationship), and keep it positive, straight-forward, and light-hearted.

(2/3)
Contact a girl by reading her profile, checking her pictures, reminding yourself that she took the best angles/makeup/lighting possible in those pics so don't get hypnotized, and send her a message along the lines of
>Hey, you like/do/experienced [interest/hobby/event]? Cool! What did you like about it? My favorite part was [detail]. I like [general thing related to detail]. What else do you like/do?
Basically you're doing a little inquiring and revealing with each message after that so that the two of you get to know each other. Just be casual, comfortable, talk how you normally would, even if you suck at talking to people. Go about it in the same way you might try to make a new friend (I know, I don't do that shit a lot either, but I mean, just don't go in thinking about romance and sex and all that). That shit advice "bee urself" only holds merit in the sense that if you posture or try to look better/different than you normally are, you will be uncomfortable and dishonest, a mockery of what you're attempting to be, and once she sees the truth she'll feel even more repulsed that you were so insecure you faked a personality. "Being yourself" means that you understand the kinds of women who would be into you the way you currently are, and understanding that some/many/most women simply won't be into you the way you currently are because they are simply into other kinds of guys, not because you "did something wrong". You can only be you. If you did something that you, yourself didn't like or feel comfortable with, just try to do it differently next time.

(3/3)
Get to know her a bit. If she seems decent, and not "ideal" just yet, perfect. Dating and relationships take practice, even if you get a gf, think of it as experience to get to know what you need/hate in a partner, and what dating is like. If one of your first gfs happens to meet all these things, great. If not, you need to date more girls to get more experience/confidence. Experience gives you the knowledge and familiarity to deal with things in a comfortable manner, which gives you confidence. You probably feel pretty confident in your video game skills if you play them all the time, because you're used to how they work by now; same thing for dating/socializing. Also, if you somehow get a date with your perfect ideal girl in one of your first experiences, THAT'S WAY BAD. You're at your weakest, and you're faced with something you want more than anything in the world. You WILL feel insecure, unworthy, tense, desperate, nervous, and everything that will make her uncomfortable. You want to literally build up your power level before going for your true goal. For now, you want something you can handle. For your first dates, you want to go for girls that look "meh" to you. Not like, "nice-looking", and not "outright unattractive", but girls you might normally just find boring-looking. These are the girls you'll feel more confident and comfortable around.

Be honest about dating casually at first. There is no shame in building your experience / power level. Almost everyone has to do it. Casually date girls who you may even see as a "level beneath you", just so you have the confidence to actually keep your spaghetti in your pockets. Get the relationship to go for at least six months. That's your first goal. By the time you can reliably date girls for a few months, you're practically well on the path to getting as familiar/comfortable/confident as you need to be to finally go for your "ideal" girl and actually feel like you can realistically get her.

>oh so where did you two meet?
>on the... internet....
nah i rather be alone lmao

Lol there is no friendzone you dork. See, this is exactly what I'm talking about - you think of women as either gf or not-gf and therefore not worthy of attention or time.

How are you going to get a girl if you are utterly incapable of interacting with them as a regular person on a day-to-day basis?

Okay.

Hard mode:
Be emotionally confident, and stable.
They will see your confidence, and they will say "i can lean on this dude".

Medium mode:
What i said before, plus be in shape.
They will see that, and their hidden mind will make them feel actracted to you cause you can defend them.

Easy mode:
All of what i said before, plus show off your wealth.
They will see that, and they will go "this dude have money, he can give it to me some"

Any of those 3 will help, and if you have all of those 3 you will get women.

>How are you going to get a girl if you are utterly incapable of interacting with them as a regular person on a day-to-day basis?
I am you moron, I've been in a majority female environment for 15 years now, dick head.
There is a friendzone and if you're horny and stuck there you must be a total freak loser tool idiot.

Most couples these days meet on the internet. Have you not left the basement in the last 10 years?