How do I manage to convince myself that there has to be at least one or two girls out there who a might be interested...

How do I manage to convince myself that there has to be at least one or two girls out there who a might be interested in talking to me?

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Easy
How many times have you asked women out?
how many times were you rejected?
How big is your social circle?

Aight cool
Now look at the population of your school or work (places to meet someone naturally)
Population of your town
Now your country

Understand thay there are hundreds of thousands of other people in your situation
Meaning you could move or get a new job where you know no one and it would be exactly the same but completely different

Because in that new pool of people could be the perfect one for you, you just havent met her yet

If it doesn't happen naturally you'll never believe it. All you can do is live the best life you can until you find a girl who's interested in talking to you or you can live without it. Sounds like a shit powerless way to deal with the situation but we don't have a lot of control over our lives.
Do what interests you, strive to be healthy and smart, look to make a living doing something you enjoy, look to spend your own time doing the things that you wish you could make money doing but can't. Do everything that you could do yourself. When the loneliness comes bear it - it will pass. This way if a woman ever does come, you don't value her so much that you'd do too much to keep her. Oftentimes real people are less than what we wish them to be, and it's very rare if ever we find the one person who loves us wholly and unconditionally like how we imagine it to be like. However, there are people out there who deserve to love and to be loved, and you will find them, but only if you don't settle for the first person to be interested in you because you're afraid if you give them up you'll never get the chance again.

I guess you have to decide if you'd take the imitation of love over the real thing; seeing as nobody can be sure the real thing exists at all

I see. I can look at it logically like you're doing and it makes sense, but it's like deep down I have this truth I take for granted which is "I am uninteresting and noone will want to talk to me unless there is a clear benefit for them/it's required by the situation" that I can't shake off.

You bring up a good point about never believing it until it happens to you. I've read a lot about people who didn't believe they were lovable until someone loved them first, but in my situation I don't think it's ever going to happen, so I have to learn to do it by myself

Having hope will destroy your soul.

Hon, you have low self esteem
You need to fix that and identify your negative self talk so you stop beating yourself up

How do I fight against that inner voice if I end up agreeing with it?

You dont agree with it.
You say out loud positive things when its talkimg you down
You also explain.to it that its just your mind trying to protect you, but its okay, cause you are smart and strong and got this without mind's input

feed the white wolf, user

I haven't figured that out, but I have learned how to channel the dissatisfaction from my depression into action, into motivation to go to the gym, more aggressively pursue the career I want, touch up my apartment and so on.

You don't need to add many criteria to your search before it goes from hundreds of thousands to hundreds.
Let's assume OP doesn't think an 80 year old man is as attractive as a 20 year old girl, you quickly narrow it down. The idea that there are many girls out there only works when you don't think about it.
Moving to a new city, getting a job in a different field and get a new group of friends seems like a lot of work just to get a girlfriend.
How many times are you expected to do this? It seems ridiculously expensive and not certain to pay off in any way.

I don't think the perfect person for anyone exist. I don't look for that. I am looking for a girl who is single and in a certain age range. I have a few more criteria which I am willing and able to let go of if it doesn't match the person I manage to find.
But finding girls is so fucking hard. I don't know if they never leave their homes or they just all have moved to a different continent, but they are never around where I can see them. They go to different schools, work at different companies, workout at different times and do different things for entertainment or hobbies.
Meeting a girl is unlikely, convincing her to talk to you, date you etc is astronomical. I spend so much energy trying to get into the right circles, but it isn't enough.

So I just try to be unrelentingly positive? How do I find out positive things about myself?

What do you mean by this?

Ahh, so here's the kicker
You can't treat yourself like shit
Set a bedtime
Eat meals on time
Eat a well balanced diet
Brush your teeth
etc. etc.
You can start feeling good about these little accomplishments then work up from there

It isn't about "I'm good because I'm clever at math!"
its about doing tasks every day and being proud of those
A talent is what you are, not what you earned

I never thought about it this way. Being proud about taking care of myself.

It's true that when I come out of the gym I feel better about myself, or when I help someone with something and I feel helpful. Perhaps that is the secret, I'm not entirely sure it'll help with girls but maybe at least I'll feel a bit better about myself.

You can't.

> how many girls have you asked out?
5
> how many rejections?
5
> how big is your social circle?
2, both guys

> aight, cool

> population of school or work
self employed

> population of city
200k

> population of country
320m

> you could move somewhere where no one knows you
Did that already, made things worse

5 is nothing

I very much feel like we are at the same stage of loneliness. perhaps I'm a little bit ahead of you.

I've started looking at myself in a mirror and being nicer to myself, I've started cooking for housemates and being proud of what I'm doing.

every girl I've ever shown interest in, however, has always ended up giving me the "you'll make someone so happy, just not me" bullshit. it's gotten to the point where I just gave up with women so much so that I only know one girl personally now and she's taken. I'm well aware that I'm not going to find anyone if I don't talk to women but it seems kinda pointless when I all I get is that shit.

it might come across as me blaming women, but when I'm doing everything in my power to be the best I can be I can't help but think it's not 100% my fault.

Lift weights and talk to people

I lift weights, right now I'm at 180lbs 15-17%bf at 5'9. I'm just as autistic as when I was a 135lb skinnyfat.

walk around bars close to closing

get catcalled by drunk chicks
works like a charm

No thanks I want love not casual sex. In fact that sounds more than a little creepy.

Lower your standards and understand how many fat,depressed,awkward ect women there are in the world who crave attention

the first step is to realize that there are people that want to fuck you

girls will go out of their way to talk to people that they want to fuck

Start small, my dude.

Honestly though drunk catcalling would be a good ego boost while you focus on yourself. Find a hobby that puts you in contact with like-minded people. A relationship won't last if you're not comfortable in your own skin.

Deliberately prowling around wasted chicks just because they took a hammer to their inhibitions for the night is creepy. I'm not a creep.

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It's not hard to get girls to talk to you.
It's hard to get them to be interested in you, romantically.

Simple as that

but there arent user

best to distract yourself anime & vidya