>dating girl almost 2 months >we cuddle, spoon, kiss and feel each other up almost constantly >hold hands all the time >feels lovey dovey and nice >introduced me to her whole family, grandparents, uncles / aunties e.t.c
However... >she refuses to French kiss me cause she didn't like doing it with her ex >she refuses to be the big spoon literally. she won't do it. not even for a minute. can't figure out why. >won't touch me if we are around her ex >barely acknowledges me in fact
Then there was last night... >cuddling in bed for the last time before she goes on holiday for a while >I say "goodnight (her name)" >don't know why I said it, just never have said it before while we sleep together >she says "don't say that, its weird" >I ask why >she says she doesn't like me saying good night or saying her name >I tell her that concerns me >she says nothing >I stop cuddling her and turn my back on her >she cries noooo and grabs me to force me back to spooning her >after a moment of silence I say "good night (her name), I love you". >moment of silence >she just says "good night" and nothing more until we fall asleep
that kinda hurt to be honest. ended up dreaming that she went back to her ex and it crushed me, so I think this is why its all on my mind now.
I don't think she does love me. I think she's using me for cuddles and sex until something better comes along, and I feel kinda sick about it honestly.
We are both 19 for context, not the most mature relationship.
ABORT ABORT You're only 19 anyway, so it's not gonna last. Might as well get out now while the going's good.
Grayson Watson
she sounds retarded, who knows what's going on in her head but she's retarded for sure
Gabriel Gutierrez
Mate it’s time to face the truth she has problems and it's time you left. Life is too short for that shit. When someone is still responding to an X partner the way she is it's not really over between them. You are being used do yourself a favor leave now.
Robert Carter
Great, I'm fucked then cause I already made the fatal error of falling in love with her
Juan Cooper
Bump
Ayden Ross
How's the sex?
Nicholas Jones
She has a bunch of issues.
This has nothing to do with you, she's just broken in some way.
The best way to fix this is to find a girl that works normally.
If you really love her, you might try to fix her, but that rarely works, takes a loooong time, and even if it works the improvement is minimal. So unless you are okay with her the way she is, abandoning ship is the best way forward for both of you.
Tyler Murphy
She has obviously still something for her ex. You gotta play it very carefully. You don't have room for mistake here, you're most likely a rebound relationship. Have you had sex with her at least?
If she senses you're more into her than she's into you, she's gonna lose attraction. >I tell her that concerns me You should have joked over it instead of showing that it affects you. >after a moment of silence I say "good night (her name), I love you". Bad move. You should always wait for her to say it first. Woment don't fall in love nearly as fast as men do.
I suggest you play it cool and see how it evolves. Do not act needy in any circumstance whatsoever, in fact let her do most of the initiating, because you're most likely on borrowed time right now with her ex situation.
Lucas Collins
Good. Very good.
Okay, this I'm willing to accept and work on. I know she had issues in the past going into this relationship. (Counselling and anti depressants). If it's a result of that past trauma I am okay with it, as long as its not a result of her using me to get over an ex.
Leo Wright
Well, it is a little hard to portray the context here as I was being playful. I said it in a playful way after I turned over. She knows I stop spooning her when I'm upset at her, and I was putting it on to try and get her to talk about it.
Her ex cheated on her in December, that's when they broke up, and we have talked about it and she says she's past that rebound stage and fully moved on. But I don't know if I believe it.
Yeah, we have sex, and she is very affectionate. Its just that love and affection disappears in front of our friends. (However she will cuddle me in front of close family, such as her father).
She's a bundle of mixed signals
Tyler Morgan
force her you are being tested and failing the test say whatever you want, if she doesnt like it tell her you are saying it because YOU like saying it
kiss her however you want, dont be pussified, fuck her, no rape, just turn her on till she craves your dick
they use everyone, dont be a little boy and be hurt over shit, be her rock i know its difficult when you are young, but give prio to your dick not your heart, heart will say ohno we cant lose her, dick will say just give me any pussy
Austin Lewis
No one here knows what's going on in this girl's head. Obviously she has some shit going on in terms of what she thinks is ok and what she is comfortable with.
However, she's not the only one with some shit in her head. That you expect that she's going to know you well enough to be able to say she loves you after two months is unreasonable. That you seem to be wanting to force her to say it in return to you is unreasonable. That you want to attribute her not knowing you well enough to feel that she loves you, to being about her "using" you is pretty much bullshit. She doesn't act the way you want her too, therefore you question whether or not she has any feelings for you?
You only love her in the sense of being fixated on her, not in the sense that you actually know her deeply and like her. You don't really know her, and you don't know the basis for the behavior you see in her that you don't like.
I think you should calm down and get to know someone better before deciding that you love them, as opposed to being infatuated.
Maybe your relationship with her will go somewhere, maybe it won't. You seem to be putting yourself on the course of deciding that it won't.
Thomas Ortiz
All well and good mr armchair psychiatrist if I hadn't spent a year getting to know her before we started dating. I didn't love this girl when I first met her, I fell in love with her over time and that's why we began dating.
I have been infatuated with someone in the past, and its something I am more than conscious about. This relationship has been my most liberal one yet in terms of giving her time and space and letting her live her life alongside our relationship, instead of making her life focus around our relationship.
I don't disagree with the moral you're trying to teach me, but I don't think it fully applies to me in this situation as I am more than conscious of my behaviour, thoughts and feelings.
Thomas Evans
> won't touch me if we are around her ex drop and run
Oliver White
Maybe she wants to show her family (and herself) that she moved on. As the other user said, be her rock. Let her come to you, and when she's distant do not pursue. That's your best bet.
Joshua Lopez
Yeah I like your guys advice the best cause it allows me to be the man and fix the situation
David Allen
Yeah, why in hell OP didn't get the clue here?
Hudson Powell
Because I love her man, and its not as straight forward as that.
Jayden Murphy
>won't touch me if we are around her ex >barely acknowledges me in fact
Huge red flag. Run and run fast. She shouldn't be having contact with her ex anyway, especially spending time with him. It sounds like she isn't over him. You're just going to get hurt if you keep this going
Caleb Walker
Sorry but it is. If you don't, you're feeding a diseased system.
Nathaniel Baker
There's nothing I can do about it as he's her work colleague...
Luis Flores
I know you don't see it but it is that straightforward you are just blinded.
You're two months in and she's about 7 months away from a breakup because he cheated. She's likely still in love with him and that would be normal even if she knows deep down she shouldn't or wouldn't get back together with him.
I'm sorry OP but you are a rebound. Most of us have fallen into this trap and have to learn the hard way. Bottom line is she will never be emotionally available to you as you dream.
