I'm 19 and I'm addicted to league of legends its all I care about even though I've failed my plat promos and can't even reach high elo. My parents that I live with and commute to school from found out that I've been skipping classes to just sit down and do nothing or play LoL. I lost my retail job a month ago for using my phone too much and slacking off.
Idk if I'm depressed I've been to therapists before but they always end short for random reasons. Life has been monotonous for a long time I don't really feel much I feel numb I constantly lie to others and I overeat to feel some kind of pleasure in my life. Even after doing horrible things I can brush them under the rug and stop thinking about them. I lack any moral compass whatever, don't value the livelihood of others but I would never harm someone else only because I don't wanna go to jail. Also I find myself constantly lying I never go a day without telling multiple lies
Should I go to a therapist? Maybe they can put me on medication? I hear very bad things about SSRI's so I'm scared of those but I'm otherwise very open to other drugs.
i'm not sure your issues are related to chronic depression
it just sounds like you have no direction and would rather not do the hard work of figuring out a direction.
Christian Rodriguez
If it's really as severe as you describe, then yes you probably need to see a therapist because it's bad.
Connor Thomas
Really? Idk I've read ppl saying depression feels like numbness and if so I've been feeling this way from about 16, no therapist has ever been able to fix it. I have absolutely no direction or passions other than video games but I must be smart I aced all my spring semester classes. I don't wanna become mediocre man I don't wanna be a fucking failure I wanna make good money. Is this really that severe? My dad found out today and was freaking out about it but my mom is out of the country visiting her dying father I told him not to tell her as the stress would eat away at er but he's gonna tell her. Honestly I couldn't care less about the stress she feels I just wanna fix this shit before she returns. I lied to both my professors and acted as if I was going through serious family issues so that I could turn in work late, LMAO these retards actually believed me.
Logan Gomez
Go to therapy and try to find something growing that you like. Start by writing everything you think that could be interesting or you wanted to be remembered
Kevin Wood
Drive into the woods and camp for a few days
Blake Thomas
>Should I go to a therapist?
Let's put it this way. Are you going to get better without one? The chance of a therapist helping you is better than no chance at all
Jayden Sanders
I'm a really depressive person, I try to overcome it through art, but you can find any way. Numbness for my is a resource my brain has to protect me when I'm oversensitive. It's awful. Contactfag me if you want, we are the same age, and I was addicted to LOL too
Addictions are ALWAYS bad when they start to significantly hinder you in completing daily tasks you really should be doing like school, work, your social life etc. Because if you don't tackle this soon and let it drag on, it can result in you dropping out of school, getting kicked out of your house or getting ditched by your friends. Don't let it escalate to this point because odds are 99.99% you won't become a LoL pro gamer anyways so there is no positive payoff to this addiction. It will only hurt you.
Tackle it while it hasn't completely ruined your life yet. And yes, i have heard of people who genuinely ruined their lives because of their LoL addiction.
Nolan Wilson
THroughtout highschool people have told me to just "find out" I've taken multiple career tests they say I'd be good as a lawyer/politician I guess I could see that because of my lack of empathy and constant lying but law school seems expensive and touch as fuck. In computer science I can work in cushy conditions and have an easier time doing what i want, playing video games. A job only exists to fuel this and keep my parents away from me. Life without technology sucks, I'd probably die because I'd be trash at acquiring my own food there I have no survival training. I've been to different ones but I'm afraid to tell them certain things because it can go on my personal record I don't wanna tell them I lack a moral compass they might lock me up.
Christopher Howard
first of all, money will not fix this, and you literally have years to sort this shit out.
The first thing you need to do is work on self-imporvement instead of LoL
Start figuring out how you can be useful to yourself and others, find an interest outside of gaming.
And if you're really stuck on gaming, figure out how to be useful to your community, run events, start casting, start doing some work that's tangible that way you can one day transfer your skills to something that will keep a roof over your head.
Jacob Williams
Would you like making games? Or maybe e-sporting? Do you remember something not videogame related you liked a lot when smol? Try to find the root of your pleasure
Kevin White
I forgot to mention that during the fall semester I was at a different uni and I did the same fucking thing except slightly worse. I cam to live with my parents and commute to a cheaper school and when I got all A's during the spring semester they were overjoyed. I guess I fucked that up but I don't feel anything. I know I should feel bad but I feel nothing. I should go to the gym or something but look at my lazy ass I can't even show up to classes during the important parts of the fucking semester how would I be able to work out. I need motivation, direction, purpose now, I need pills that will give this. I definetly don't like making games and hte field pays like shit. I've always been a follower during grade shcool I was bullied and highschool I was a fuckign follower until my junior year but even than I still lackeda personality. I see peopel with these drives and motivations but me, I really have no reason to live. The only reason I live is to derive as much enjoyment as possible. Waking up in the morning makes me wanna stop existing lol.
Mason Green
I'll hijack this thread so I can ask my own question.
How do I begin assessing my mental health? Do I first schedule a psychiatric evaluation at a hospital to see where I'm at? I imagine I would want at least a couple therapy sessions down the line, but it's hard to gauge where my mental health is at.
I still feel major imposter syndrome a few years out of college, even though I've held my engineering job for almost two years now. One of my current roommates is likely neurotic or at least extremely anxious but refuses to get diagnosed, which I'm sure plays in to my current situation until I move at the end of August. My family has a history of depression, so I'm sure I'd find some of that in searching, but I don't know the first step
Oof, I totally get your feeling bro... But pleasure ends without growing, it's a surface you have to break. Read philosophy, I recommend Sartre and Camus for your situation. They are people without motivation trying to figure it out.
No offence man but I think reading philosophy won't fix my mental state. I really just wanna try out drugs but is there any medication that won't fuck me up/my ability to get boners or whatever?
Oliver Lee
pills won't give you that
you have to have an ounce of discipline.
I have extreme ADHD and was depressed for years, it was only when i took steps to change things.
you have to be willing to do the work, it doesn't have to be hard work or super intense, it just needs to be something
Elijah Harris
If all I do is procrastinate and lie until the last second how can I ever hope to do that? I have absolutely 0 discipline.
Jonathan Nguyen
you're obsessed with this idea that the pills will fix you
what happens when you don't feel as depressed but you are still too lazy to go to the gym or take care of what needs to be done?
not being depressed won't magically make you driven.
you have to find purpose on your own.
Austin Ramirez
No, you have to read it and go to therapy. Discipline is needed, but do it for the idea of getting more and better pleasures. Don't settle down with something as mundane as LOL bro... I love to stare at miss fortune ass and titties, I even have a porn apk of her but you need to do something with your life if u want to trascend to better pleasure
Landon Howard
I've heard ppl telling me to find my purpose for years but I legit can't, i don't know how. I don't play it for the sex appeal I play i for the competitive aspect I main top and love the whole 1v1 shtick. What the fuck other pleasures re there? All I can think of apart from LoL is drugs and sex and I'm not in shape anymore so having regular sex would be difficult lol. I would wanna get in shape I hear when ppl get in shape they become motivated and feel less like shit.
Being in shape helps a lot, indeed. There are beautiful pleasures in finding urself and achieving goals, pursuing knowledge and beauty
Thomas Morales
It's difficult to feel empathy for others, I can't see other ppl as anything more than disposable tools/want to lie and manipulate them. Is it possible to live a happy and fulfilling life being this way, or am I supposed to change this. For some reason I feel no regret for any suffering I caused my parents and its worrying me slightly.
I notice that I don't feel much in situations like this but later I start to feel EXTREME heart pain almost like I'm burning up inside and can't breathe, I think that's how I cope with this. If I lack the motivation to stop this shit idk if I have the motivation to start working out. I guess it begins with eating healthy?
Ryder Russell
you keep shifting blame from your depression, to your apathy, to your lack of empathy.
have you never had to work hard for anything in your life?
Adrian Perry
im silver 2 can you boost me to plat? that aside, get a therapist for drug addiction stop using electronics find other sources of fun that's it.
Xavier Anderson
Believe me user don't go to a therapist with that shit! I was addicted to rpg's for years.. like real crazy.. my live once was all about gaming but you grow out of it and that's all. I still play alot but not like an addict. So chill out, play your lol and just go out a little more and more from week to week. If your 25 and still play all day get help. But not NOW
Benjamin Green
No I've been coasting by most of my life. IF I can't even get plat how would I boost you there lmao. My only other source of fun is MTG but its a pretty fucking expensive hobby. I've been playing MTG arena which is basically the same thing but online. I have no motivation to find hobbies that's why I want pills. If I don't go to a therapist won't this shit get worse?
Austin Young
Honestly I don't know.. you are different than me and I can only tell you how it was for me. But would it hurt you to wait a year and see if you can make it on your own? The thing with therapy is that they often brainwash you cause they don't get why one plays all day.. I had three therapists till I found someone who could really help me and not just wan't money. May I ask you what exactly it is that drives you to play? For me with rpg's it was like building a life outside of this world and get away from all the bullshit
Liam Harris
I play it for the competitive aspect and beating others. I have an extreme desire to be validated by others and I like the validation that a high rank can give. I also love dominating the enemy player which is why I chose top because as long as the junglers have minimal intervention its an honest 1v1.
Isaiah Richardson
One thing that really helped me not to play if I needed it was Smoking weed. But I get why you are addicted now. Do you have anybody you could chill with and talk? Talking openly about it with a trusted friend or so helps a lot. Bro you remind me so fucking much of myself your age. Keep strong and don't loos hope bro
Parker Powell
you need to stop coasting
do something hard
Brandon Stewart
I have no friends I had a ton of friends in highschool but nowadays I can go the entire day only having spoken 4 or so lines. I read manga when I'm not playing League. That's easy to say but hard to do, I find it very difficult to sit down, focus and do something like this.
Jaxson Sanchez
I considered this to OP In the end I didn't. I talked to a friend and a family member that I knew had a head on their shoulders.
They helped, but what helped for me most of all was getting all the white noise out of my head and naming what I want to do. When I knew what I wanted, all I had to do after that was find out how to get it. Aside from that, I accepted that I may not be like everyone else, but I honestly don't care. I don't need all the bimbos bitches or the assholes who think they're better than me. I'll find my own people if I just do what I want to do.
tl;dr: don't fall for the therapy Jew. A good friend that actually listens and responds and gives advice is much better.
Isaac Hernandez
I have no friends anymore after since going to college and I haven't made any new ones its kinda difficult. My only friends are the ones I play this game with. MY dad made me uninstall this shit and since I live under his roof I'm kinda forced to. Plenty of therapists are covered by health insurance right? I'm kinda unsure about speaking to a therapist from my university though.
Kevin Fisher
Idk if this will work for you, but you can give it a try if you want to. Good luck.
