Be me at 17

>17
Lol did summer school already end for you little fuckers

Jeez user, eventually I will, calm down. I'm confused about his thought train here, not how to court him.

Wow you read one line and gave up? I'm not even mad, I'm impressed.

I had an intern who had probably a 160+ IQ; that's the territory where speaking to people becomes a real problem.

When I first met the kid, he could barely answer a simple knowledge question; school was easy for him he played the fool and coasted through. I worked him over for 2 years, 30 minutes a day.

2 years later he spit out a script that tears open auto cad DWG Files and rips the text out and organizes it.

He's now at a new job, making decent starting pay.

Einstein couldn't tie his shoes, too many possibilities with 2 pieces of string; he needed someone to show him how to re-wire his head and push him along. I can only imagine where he'll go in his career.

But, he would have never gotten started if I didn't pull him out of his shit-headedness, and force him, with guidance, to work through it. He had to literally re-wire his head.

Highly intelligent men are also hyper-sensitive as the sensitivity is related to the intelligence, and communication, and emotions, are a pain in the ass for them. It may have never occurred to him he had feelings for you until then, and it may have freaked him out, and then he probably thought "Well...this makes...sense?" and now he's testing the waters.

He may have never had a relationship before or has no idea what a relationship is or means. It is extremely likely that he genuinely does not find most women attractive; how can a doctor find a cashier riveting? That's the curse of Genius. But, he finds you attractive.

So don't get too freaked out. What you do now is make a chess or checkers board with little cup cakes for pieces, or dress up as his favorite video game character and play the part and stroke his ego, do things to be really charming in a cerebral way.

It will take a few years but once his head has adjusted, you won't find anyone better.

His thoughts don't matter, you're such a fucking overthinker. Go out and act, not sit around thinking.

Nowhere in OP's post did I see that they were married.
Garbage advice.

Sounds like he didn't know what to do when you asked him, and he panicked. It would've been easier for him to justify refusing if he were, as you put it, "a chubby nerd".
Then more recently, when you gave a very clear indication of your interest towards him, he was not only given a reason to go further, but he also felt more prepared after getting fit and financially secure.

Alternatively, given that you were still a teenager when you first approached, he might have just wanted to avoid dealing with someone so risky.

That doesn't really matter now, though. Unless he's over 40 (i.e. too old to start a family with), go for it.

How the fuck is it that when I want a girl to be this way to me, it doesnt happen, yet it happens to oblivious fucking idiots?

Also, you're a girl. Dont act dumb. You know what you need to do. Its harder to find love when you have a dick than a vagina.

Isn't it obvious? He's into guys silly.

This is not the case. He's a wonderfully intelligent fellow but he's never really failed to interact with people, he's just been a bit awkward. He's emotionally intelligent enough to realise he had interests in another chick at another point.

>His thoughts don't matter
To you, perhaps.

I think you've got the timeline a touch wrong, unless you believe telling sometime you can't get bored of them to be a clear indication of interest.
>he might have just wanted to avoid dealing with someone so risky.
Explain? 19 going on 20 when I asked him out, and there's less than five years between us.

Did you even read what I was asking our did you just read the green text and get triggered?

Except I'm aware of him asking out at least one chick, maybe two now I think about it, other than myself.

>unless you believe telling sometime you can't get bored of them to be a clear indication of interest.
I was thinking of that coupled with the fact that you had just spent a whole day in his company, presumably for personal reasons. You'd already asked him out before, and if he had any feelings towards you, he could've ruminated over it and then talked himself into making a move after thinking that you might still see him that way.

>19 going on 20 when I asked him out, and there's less than five years between us.
Oh, when you said "older guy", I assumed you meant he was in his 30s or something. Disregard that, and go with the first thought I had.

I can only (accurately) think in terms of what I would do, and the only thing that I know for sure I have in common with him is my awkwardness, but on that note I will sometimes deliberately act dense as a defense mechanism. It makes sure I don't make an ass of myself by misinterpreting anything but the most obvious signals. If I were in his position when he got asked out, I might have said no just because I didn't expect anything.

I don't know why you're asking this, though. Why not ask him what his reasons were? I'm guessing you said yes, right?

Fair enough, I can definitely see that then. We'd just been hanging out together, either alone or in a group, but yeah okay I can get behind it bet being a reminder as it were.
> I might have said no just because I didn't expect anything.
Explain? This seems like shooting yourself in the foot, maybe if I understand this I'll get it.
He's kind of notoriously bad about talking about past events because he doesn't seem to remember anything social. I mentioned it earlier and he completely misremembered everything about the scenario (anything admittedly we were drunk that night), so I'm honestly not sure what good asking him is gonna do for a genuine answer.

>This seems like shooting yourself in the foot
That's exactly what it is. If I do it to myself first, nobody else can. On a rational level it doesn't make sense if you're looking for a partner, but it is a really effective way of avoiding unpleasant situations. That's just me, though.

>admittedly we were drunk that night
Yeah, I wouldn't get myself into that situation, but I can definitely see why any guy would be cautious. Men can process alcohol more effectively than women, so he was probably more sober than you at the moment, and he might have taken your confession with a grain of salt knowing that you weren't mentally there.

>I'm confused about his thought train here
Didn't feel able/worthy to be on a relationship back in the day or was into someone else ; things have changed now but he was afraid of fucking your established friendship up.
Enjoy your new bf.