So, my gf (23/f) and I (26/m) have been dating for a little over 6 months exclusively, plus another two months of casual dating before that
she works at an animal shelter with the dogs, and she absolutely loves it. she's extremely passionate about her work, and it's honestly one of the things that made me so attracted to her.
but, I've started to notice more and more what a mental and even physical toll it takes on her. aside from the her getting bitten by dogs, sometimes really badly, she's talked to me about nightmareish abuse and neglect cases she sees, and I dont know how she does it. but what makes her the most upset are dogs that have behavior problems she tries to help, but then have to end up being put down anyway because they're too aggressive. shes had more than one day where she comes home in tears and cried until she vomits and wont eat for several days after because she's so distraught. It absolutely kills me to see her like that. and it's majorly effecting her over all outlook on life. and sometimes I feel like our relationship too
I know she loves her job more than anything, and shes been there almost five years, but I'm convinced it's slowly killing her. anytime I bring up finding a new job, she wont hear anything of it and is willing to get into an argument over it. how do I convince her? she also struggles with a mental illness and all this stress from work sometimes makes her somewhat spiral. this isnt healthy and I want to help her. I love this girl and can see myself spending the rest of my life with her, but she just cant go on like this. how do I convince her without an ultimatum
I was thinking this before, but she half jokingly said one night "once I'm too burnt out to do this, i'll probably just kill myself since I wont be useful anymore" and I've been really worried about her since
Gavin Myers
Get her pregnant.
Adam Thompson
So a pretty common theme in these sorts of jobs is suffering from ptsd/depression/etc due to the nature of the work. It is quite possible for her to find a way to cope but it might be helpful in trying to get her to schedule with professionals related to the career so that she can shadow and see if there are any alternatives. Ultimately it has to be her decision but you have to talk to her about the realistic effects of working in that field as well as outlining what you can/can't do to support her as her partner.
Nicholas Taylor
This. Maybe see if she would like to work at a vets office. There's still be the heartbreak when one of the cats or dogs passes away because it's too sick to help, but most of the animals taken to a vet are loved by there owners and are far less likely to have behavioral issues.
Basically, there will still be tough days, but moving from working at a shelter to a vet seems like it would be a step up. She'd still get to do what she loves in helping dogs, but with a bit less stress.
Nolan Murphy
No dilhole brain, support your wench jackass, don't try to change her, christ sakes that's not your life or place to act ya dumb cunt. Those critters need her as much as you do butthole.
Thomas Morgan
You have to be 18 to post here
Mason Foster
This This too
Brody Reyes
>>she works at an animal shelter with the dogs, and she absolutely loves it. she's extremely passionate about her work, and it's honestly one of the things that made me so attracted to her.
Then stop trying to be controlling, you stupid faggot.
Parker Richardson
Hes right though, who the fuck op thinks he is? and believe he knows right for someone? She can make such choices for herself. Hopefully she sees through Op's bullshit and throws him to the side and finds someone better.
OP said it himself, she isn't interested in finding a new job.
Okay, first off. Getting her pregnant is fucking insane, she's a mental case, clearly. Secondly, just dump her ass fool, what the hell is wrong with you. You want to try fixing a broken toy then fine, but you gon get burnt.
Isaac Richardson
Before you think of her abandoning a steady job that she's had five years, think if your hoe has any actual skills or credentials for a job outside of the keep dogs alive until we put them to sleep shelter.
Brayden Martinez
You JUST know she fucks dogs
Landon Lewis
Yeah maybe tell her this isn't kosher for you and enduring her suffering only to watch her do it again hurts Usually these chicks just say like "I really am useless then" and you gotta get them off that retard shit the harsh way
Jace Bailey
I would try to sit down with her and tell her pretty much what you just told us. It's not that you're not happy for her about having a passion and getting paid to do it, but that you are worried about her long term emotional and mental health because of it. Tell her that you understand and empathize with her and the genuine stress that she goes through, but at the same time it doesn't feel right to you and that you want to discuss what you two can do together as a two-person-unit to help you both find an emotional middle ground where you can meet and help each other work through any tough spots or days.
She shouldn't quit FOR you, btw. Make that clear, because it's true. If this is her calling in life and her passion that SHE wants to do - you need to accept it or move on to someone else who's more on your vibe.
I would also suggest therapy. Maybe couple's therapy so that you two can learn together how to work through this bump in the road. No shame in learning new communication skills.
Jacob Cook
It's not like she's some kind of combat infantry you big puss, why would you pry her away from meaningful work just because it's not easy for her?
If it seems like it's wearing on her, she needs better support/stress-relief/to take better care of herself, not to just up and quit.
Josiah Evans
This is the most helpful advice. Tell her you're worried about the effect working in a shelter is having on her and tell her you think it might be better to transition to similar, less stressful employment. A veterinarian clinic (though probably not an emergency care facility) seems like a good option. Better than a dog grooming company or pets store.
