Become friends with this one guy

>implying this is real
It's a power play, at any rate. He's not going to pick on someone with clear issues.

Power play?

Thats awesome! funniest thing Ive read!

Youre fucked. unless hes fucking crazy!
In that case youre still fucked!

What kind of person is he if he fucks your happy ass that went crazy when "you dont have any romantic feelings for him"?

"Tell the truth or at least dont lie", that means to yourself too

Except my feelings for him aren't romantic, as I said before. He's just a great friend.

Based schizo poster
Keep Yourself Safe, OP

Schizo...?
Does any of this sound like I might have schizophrenia...?

Now the only real recourse for you is to dial back on 'I'm sick in the head,' while he's gone and proven quite clearly you're neither that important to him nor significant enough a person to hurt him in general.
Basically, he took your BPD move and flipped it on its head showing that not only did it not really get at him, but that your efforts in general won't get at him, and that your inclusion of him in your life is for your pleasure and not his, for he is quite capable of living free and clear without you; it is the opposite alone that is true and it is you who needs him and his approval, not he who needs yours.

Basically, you either back down hard or you advance to doing shit to him, which will get you in trouble with more than just him in all likelihood.
It's a play in which he swiftly attained the upper hand in the proceedings.

you are definitely delusional

It does sound as though there's a level of non-agency in your actions, yes.

He always told me I'm important to him whenever I asked. He's also hard to read because he hides his feelings so much. Even if he's mad he pretends that he isn't because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

IF YOU WEREN'T NICE TO EVERYONE I WOULDN'T BE THIS WAY YOU FUCK
JUST GIVE SOME INDICATION THAT I'M SPECIAL
REEEEE

Ya your email sounds bad.

Could you guys elaborate on what you mean? :(

>Just give me some indication that I'm special

You aren't, though. Being batshit nuts doesn't make you unique, it just makes you crazy. Plenty of other people out there with half a dozen shit disorders, and some of them have enough self control to be actually tolerable.

I mean special to -him-, not special in general.
I don't care about being a unique person. I just want him to know that I'm special to him because he's nice to everyone and it makes me feel insecure and at times it makes me genuinely despise him.

Yeah, you don't seem to have any connections between your actions, your mentality and your intentions. They're three separate concepts working completely individually from the others, and the worst part is you seem blissfully unaware of just how sick you are.
Doesn't seem like you're in control of, or even aware of your actions.

And yes, constant desire for someone's attention is very much romantic. Doesn't just have to be sex and kissing, the constant need for their companionship on an individual basis.

HAVE SEX with him and take out your frustration out through bdsm

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>want to be special
>hurt him
You already permanently killed your chances. He's nice to you because you're crazy and he fears the repercussions.

OP has 99 problems, but being a whore isn't one

>inb4 OP is an inbred tranny

Eh?
Would he really be scared of me?
afaik friends fight, then they make up and everything's okay

Post the first email, OP
We need to know how bad it was

Sounds like you have a clear case of Stay The Fuck Away Syndrome, aka you're a walking time-bomb and this poor guy is doing the right thing in emotionally ignoring you, because if he became invested you'd try and destroy him. Go meditate or something and leave people the fuck alone.

I can't look at it without feeling kind of nauseous
I was so mean to him ahhhhhhhh
I was brutal. I ripped him to shreds and make him out to have no good points whatsoever.
I don't mean anything I said, it's all bullshit, but my friend might not trust me after this.

Friends fight. For instance, my pal left me out to the tune of a few hundred dollars and then threw a tiff (not that I was the most mature in the event either), but we later made contact over the issue and apologized to one another, confessed our hands in the breakdown of communications and moved past. We said hurtful things, we dug in. However, both sides had been perceived as wrong by the other, and both sides came together to reconcile the differences.

I didn't just send him a diatribe about all of the things I hated about him, then 180'd and told him 'sorry, I didn't mean to give the impression that what I actually think of you is that you're literal garbage even though I just expressed that pretty summarily.'
Had it been that, I'm not sure anything would get us back in contact unless it was between me and a woman and she really, reeeeally wanted this dick.

You didn't just fuck up, OP, you completely axed entire avenues of potential here. Unless he's a man of astronomical patience and peerless, untarnished virtue, he's going to self-preserve to some degree here and recognize that sustained contact with you can only be a detractor in his life. And that's the killer, when you show without a doubt that keeping you around in significant fashion is only going to damage his quality, perhaps even way, of life.

He's not ignoring me. He talks to me a lot. He's always interested in my past, and he's always willing to give me a shoulder to cry on if I'm upset. The problem is that both of these are things that he does for everyone. He'll move the world for you, and you'll think you're really special; but oops, sorry, he's just a good samaritan who does that for everyone.

Oops
meant for

The problem is anything deeper he does, you won't know or see, because you're neither the intended nor the wanted recipient. You're a constant liability who chooses to rip apart good people because they won't grant you exclusivity.

It's not that he's good; it's that you're bad, and the natural reaction of the good to the bad is usually somewhere between disappointment, resentment and pity.

Just do it, we saw many shitty stuff, don't worry

>European wants to dig deeper into someone wounded

So he's interested in you but he's not interested in you? You're engaging in doublespeak. Why should he think you're special to him or something? He's done you the service of being nice to you because he obviously values kindness, yet you want more and you are also NOT romantically interested in him?

Nothing here makes sense and only stems from your own personal feelings of inadequacy, not him. Stop externalizing your problems onto others who've shown you more than the deserved respect.

>finally, I snap and send him a 15 paragraph email, each and every sentence a new vicious personal insult
Why would he get the idea that you don't like him?
>afaik friends fight
They don't and this wasn't a fight. You took a shit on a friend for no reason other than for you to hope he would confess his love to you so you could reject him and feel superior. You are not his friend, you are just a mentally unstable person who will never have a real friendship. I hope you get the help you need, but it won't from this guy.

He likes me as a friend. I like him as a best friend. I want him to think of me as a best friend, too.

Protip num.2: don't use drama to be with someone. Shit like this (like you did rn) only leads to toxic relationship in general

Then telling him why you can never be trusted is a bad play.

What? That isn't what I was going for... though yes, I would turn him down if he confessed since I don't like him romantically. It was more of a "If I'm not particularly important to you, I'll MAKE myself important to you by getting inside your head, and saying such horrible things you'll never fully love yourself again" sort of thing.

> I want him to think of me as a best friend
Maybe it wasn't the best idea to write a novella detailing everything you hate about him?

>I'm so nervous.
freak

Except now he's probably just aware that attaching importance to you is invariably going to backfire when your borderline personality disorder tells you to tear him down. You'll be at arm's length for a while, if not until you two simply stop talking.

I don't understand what you don't get, here?

Best friends are a mutual relationship. If he doesn't share similar interests in being best friends, then you will not be best friends.

I don't hate anything about him. He's wonderful. I was just larping because fights and hurt feelings seem intimate to me.

You need to dig into wounds, to get bullets out there

So why don't you get that he doesn't want someone around to whom harming another is considered intimacy?

Fuck you, you dumb fucking cunt
Choke on your own shit

Yeah :(
Do you think I could lie my way out of this? What if I told him I was just writing dialogue for an important scene in a story I'm writing, and wanted to use it on someone to gauge the power/effectiveness of the writing?

Thinking you're in one of those parts of Europe like Sweden or Denmark or Norway...

>fights and hurt feelings seem intimate to me

It wasn't a fight, you tried to hurt his feelings in a calculated way with some sort of twisted fucked up logic that supersedes the idea of you actually caring or having any empathy for another human being. People are objects and tools for you.

>backpedaling into excuses
See: -- his power play was to make this one of your only options so that he could basically check off.

You want an actual move? Tell him the following;
>The shit that's wrong with you; you may not need to go into gross detail but make sure that 'sudden outbursts are very much part of my reality' is not questioned but accepted fact
>That you do, in actual fact, value him despite your words and that you want that present exchange to represent that as tacit fact, and that you don't want loss of agency over your actions to threaten that
>That at any time he can exercise the right to tell you that you need to breathe, calm down, stop what you're doing and then look at it objectively from the outside

The goal is to let him know the agency is his. You're basically acquiescing to being a shitter at this point but if you're gonna do anything, you might as well do the time for the crime, hoss.
Don't make this any worse than it is by tacking on 'compulsive liar' to the list of reasons he should keep you at arm's length.

He just sent me an email saying that we can still be friends and hang out sometimes, but that he thinks it will be difficult to trust me for a while.

Fuck. I wanted him to send me some hugely emotionally charged email. That way I could think "I saw a side of him that almost nobody else does, I'm special to him." Instead, he's being calm in order to de-escalate things.

Jesus christ

????

Please kill yourself.

OP we NEED to see that email. Shouldn't be too hard to post it unless you're larping.

Janitors need to start cleaning up the tranny and BPD threads. They're literally not Jow Forums threads because they're blog attention vectors for the mentally ill.

Kinda off-topic, but what makes you think like that?

Why does OP care so much about this friend if they aren't in love?

Borderline personality disorder often deals with almost hyperbolic self-importance. Such to the point, for instance, that you would damn a good person for being good, because they're good to people other than you.
Which would just be absolutely nuts, of course.
I just have a very particular set of experiences with European men that has led me to have a pretty poor opinion of them. The location has no real bearing on it, but I guess I find they tend toward certain flavours of behaviors.

the only way to get someone to think you're special, is to actually special, all you've been is trash so that's probably what he should think of you as, good luck on not being retarded though

Anyone writing 15 paragraph of shit talking to a person is clearly frustrated. This is usually because you wanted to fuck him, but he haven't flirted with you so now you are pissed at him for not paying attention or some bullshit.
It might not be what YOU were going for, but this is a very likely interpretation of your email.
But in you writing this email, you give all the signals to why he shouldn't want to be near you. It is a very logical result that he just say "fine, I won't see you then"

People don't have arch nemesis, they just move on. If you want to make your friendship more important, do positive things with him. Eg, tonight, I am going to a concert with a friend I haven't seen in a while. This will be a positive experience and confirms to that we like each other's company and hopefully leads to us seeing more of each other.

If I just texted him I thought his wife was a whore and his children was ugly, he wouldn't talk to me. He would probably just go "that was fucking weird, fuck that guy" and cut off all contact.

Holy fuck. This guy needs to stay away for his own sake

Do humanity a little favor by not interacting with anyone

You should be put down for society's sake.

Yes, it sounds like severe psychosis to me, and it will only get worse. Go to a psychiatrist and fix yourself, or lock yourself in a basement and never interact with anybody ever again.

>finally, I snap and send him a 15 paragraph email, each and every sentence a new vicious personal insult
AHAHAHA
If he's anything like me, I think he's deciding whether or not you're on the better side of the hot/crazy line. I quit Tinder for over a year because the second-to-last chick I took out on a date using it was definitely not. She had a cute cat though.

but what also floats on water?

I speak for all men, kill yourself you crazy bitch

>have no friends
>be at risk of premature death, heavily increased risk of depression, anxiety etc.
>feels pretty bad man

>read OPs post
>realize it at least means I never have to come across people like OP
>feel slightly better

Haha thanks OP

>he's just a good samaritan who does that for everyone
ooooooohhh I have love/hate for a guy like that too, like when he's with me he shuts off the world and i feel it but i saw him talking to another girl and she was looking at him with adoration, like she was in love or something. gawd i hate him and hate her

You doomed any chance for a relationship by being retarded, lmao

You just need a good fucking BY HIM OP.

I know you say you don't like him but you are in love. LOVE

Fucked several just like you but there is danger involved, you love so deeply you'll burn a village down to get at him should he ever leave.

>Moeshit poster is mentally ill
Shocker

he's probably in shock. later he will either completely disconnect with you or hate and spread rumors about you.
this happened to me multiple times, every time this resulted in the social standing of the dumbass being annihilated

how much of a pushover is he normally

THIS

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A huge one. He's very forgiving and easygoing.

Girl, you can't exist without medication and a personal translator.

oh. well i hope he mans up, until then you're going to abuse him senseless.
if you don't want this as your fate get medicated or leave him be. you're harming him.

What you should do is basically what you told us, you got jealous that he is so nice to everyone and that he's your best friend. Apologize for the email, that you were trying to hurt him to ease what you felt and you know it was wrong and won't do it again. Just be open with him, he may be put off some, but if you're honest and upfront and he's as you described him, I'm sure he will forgive you and you guys can move on. Perhaps this is an opportunity for you guys to develop something just between you two.

Disclose this information to him when you apologize.

You have to be 18 to use this site. In the off chance you're not a troll, then everyone does something dumb in their life. Don't sweat it too much. You'll feel embarrassed now, but it'll quickly fade as you grow up.

I would actually like to be friends with you. If you have room for one more friend... my email is [email protected]

I think you need a therapist.

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Distance yourself from this person for his sake and go live in a commune for people like yourself where you can get 24/7 help.