Parents dying, being split from my brother for a period of time, and then in high school and college I had a severe medical condition that took most of my focus. My grades in Highschool really show me coming to terms with that as they started out like shit and I slowly moved up until I was getting all As in AP and honors courses. College I got really good grades.
Point is I never really thought about girls that much. I obviously could look at a girl and say she was pretty, but never had one I invested myself in.
Well I've overcome my medical condition (number of heart problems) and I want to hit the ground running. I actually have a girl I know who Always was supportive of me though my pain, and complaining.
I don't think I have any lack of confidence, and honestly I feel better than I ever have before. I am just wondering. If I ask her out and she says yes, is it THAT weird that I've never had a girlfriend or kissed even?
Like I said this girl in particular is very understanding, hell she may not have ever had a bf idk. There's a chance she says no though and I have to move on to the next girl. So I'd like to know in general, do girls not like guys who are inexperienced I guess you could say? Should I set my standards to bare minimum and date girls I don't even like?
They dont dislike guys who are inexperienced. Its more so they dont want a "weak man" per say. They don't want someone who is gonna be wishy washy and beat around the bush. Typically inexperienced guys tend to fall in that category. As long as you are assertive (not aggressive mind you), and make them believe you are sure of yourself, then the inexperience is irrelevant. I would try to find out if she has a bf tho
Gavin Garcia
>no prior experience? No problem. Some girls rather like it. >complaining. This can be a real problem. All girls, whether they say it or not, dislike weak guys. So keep your shit inside.
Benjamin Turner
This. As long as you're comfortable, we will be comfortable too.
Michael Evans
How do you find something like that out? I mean she was at my uni and always sat with our group of friends, but never next to any guy in particular.
Could she just be really relaxed about it
Also nothing on her social shows her with any other guy
Juan Reyes
Okay, so what would a comfortable answer be to this question?
>Hey user, I was wondering. Am I your first girlfriend?
should I say "Yeah actually", or should I say "Yeah, beacuse..."
Gavin Russell
Then I would say chances are pretty good shes single so shoot your shot
Elijah Wilson
It rather depends on the girl. Some won't, as long as you're understanding and reasonable. But some girls just might. Sort of depends on what they want out of the relationship.
If she's actually worth your time, though? Then she won't care.
Aiden Russell
Just say something along the lines of "yeah I was just busy and girls weren't really on my mind" or something. Whatever comes naturally, but try not to make it a "woe is me" tale
Gavin Nelson
Okay I will. One last question
Do girls prefer in person or indirectly over text.
Like should I ask her to hangout like I would one of my pals? Or say its a date, not just hanging out?
I know all girls are different, you just mentioned being wishy washy, and I don't want to do that, but also don't wanna put her on the spot. A lot of people on here seem to do text which is weird for me cause its like you can't tell them in person, but like I said... Lack of experience haha
Charles Sanders
"Yeah. I never cared too much about dating because I had too much stuff going on".
Christopher Walker
yeah, not gonna bitch about my problems anymore. This one girls already kinda knows, but like she only knows it was through college
Camden Walker
>Whatever comes naturally, but try not to make it a "woe is me" tale I agree with this I would just answer "yes" and if she asked Why then add "I was busy with other interests" The idea to project is that you didn't have a girlfriend because you didn't pursue it, not because you couldn't.
Logan Scott
Ah, good advice. I will try not to bring it up.
Nathaniel Bennett
>Or say its a date, not just hanging out? I prefer to directly ask to a specific thing. Would you like to grab something to eat and go to (current free play on college campus) with me?
Grayson Morris
I would go for in person, although in my experience it tends not to matter much. I've done both. But I would ask do something concrete, not "hey you want to do something tomorrow" unless you plan on following it up with a plan. Also since you know this girl, go somewhere interesting like a trampoline park or escape room, or something different then the mall or the movies. Girls love creative dates
Robert Roberts
Whether or not she'd be bothered by it doesn't change what you must do. If you genuinely feel attracted to this woman and feel she is an understanding person that you can confide in then don't give her a front, give her the truth. Tell her that you want to talk and give her something like "Listen, I want to be straight forward with you. I really like you and enjoy being around you and I'm interested in pursuing something with you. My medical conditions and things in my past have kind of delayed me from getting my life started a little bit but I don't want to dwell on that. I'm in a really great place in my life right now and I feel like a good start would be to follow my guy and ask you out to coffee sometime."
An approach like this would allow you to be honest without being too visceral and not downplaying or hiding what you've been through either. Sure, some girls may be bothered by it but your best chance of success is being straight forward, concise and unapologetic. There's nothing you can do about who you are and what you've been through. The only thing you can really accomplish is being the best person you can be and putting an honest foot forward in your relationships. If it bothers you or makes you anxious just tell her, "Hey, I'm kind of new at this so please be open with me if there's anything you'd like to discuss and I'll do the same." Its not fool-proof but its your best shot.
Jonathan Torres
Be honest and be yourself. There's nothing wrong with being inexperienced. If you never try you'll remain inexperienced. Some girls might find it cute.
Charles Nelson
If you're that bothered by your virginity, get an escort.
Lucas Ross
That girl sounds like a special caring case, where she's been with you through it all.
But in general,after 20, people will definitely take a lack of sexual and romantic experience as a massive red flag, regardless of the 'excuses' you have for it. It's why it's so impossible for all these incel neets to stop being incel neets and they end up here instead.
Tyler White
>But in general,after 20, people will definitely take a lack of sexual and romantic experience as a massive red flag Really? I actually know quite a few guys over 20 who have never had gfs, but idk if they go on here. They seem normal, but idk maybe lack of experience is why they are still single
>a special caring case What is this?
Sebastian Anderson
>Really? I actually know quite a few guys over 20 who have never had gfs Yeah and would you date them? Probably not. >They seem normal You get better at faking it
Nathaniel Allen
I'm 29KHV. Not going in to reasons.
The second I tell a woman this they look at me like i'm something they've stepped in, they instantlt create a backstory for me and write me off. This has been happening since around 22-23 and you would even be able to tell if you looked at me, i'm an average guy, 6'3, slim but in shape, dress well, decent hair, etc, etc. As soon as they found it it's over.
Jack Hughes
For normies, relationships and sex are considered a big part of normal socialisation and growing up. The fact that a person never managed to get these implies there's something seriously broken with that person. Especially women, who also value men based on how other women value them. If a man has never been able to get something so common that literally EVERYONE has, this man is less than a dog to them.
Adam Miller
Hmmm, I guess you have a point if they are hiding it Really? So why do you tell them, why not come up with lies at least if its that bad. Also aren't there some girls who are okay with it and accept that? Or pretty much 99.9% are like what you say? There was something broken with me. I feel like it takes time to get and maintain a relationship. I didn't have time like that because I dealt with so many other problems.
This is reasonable right...
You guys are starting to scare me. I will still ask this girl out, but I don't want her to look down on me... If she says yes out of pity I don't want it.
