Sonic 2019

>from the producers of fast and furious
>*gangster's paradise plays in the background*
Is it the year 2001 again?

S O Y N I C
:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

People capable of quality work also have integrity

pre-9/11 2001 was pretty based.

*Gangster's Paradise plays*
Why did they select that song?

seriously this just boggles my mind, I can't help but feel they asked a machine what to select and went with it

He has already denounced Jim Carrey's Robotnik.

what

the

fuck

happened

Because niggers can be smart *sometimes*
I bet Coolio and his people (or just his people) saw how big of a shit the movie was going to be. Allowed them to use the song for free, then as soon as the trailer came out, and a million YouTube content creators started churning out react videos about it. Then Coolios people can copyright claim every single vid. Since YouTube is so crappy, they will abandon their creators, and give the money to Coolio.

Quite honestly, its because these movies are marketed to literal BABIES and they like 3D more than anything else.

this movie finna be redpilled

Source?

this flick is gonna bomb so fucking hard lol

I'm reading through the Archie comics from the start right now. I had about six issues growing up and it's been really fun to see the comic from the start. there's a mega in a pastebin in the /vg/ thread if anyone's interested. super comfy stuff.

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It stops being silly after about 15~ and starts developing an actual story. Endgame is a great arc but doesn't make a lot of sense sometimes.

Recommended listening when reading btw
youtube.com/watch?v=t_c2RLiCHSk

They included Gangster's Paradise as a covert reference to Chris-Chan's old music

youtube.com/watch?v=t-uY2QpW51I

Make no mistake, the Sonic movie is a 90 million dollar shitpost, and it's going to be the glorious.

Current l/d ratio

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Why is Sonic not black?

I thought the silly earlier tone would be off-putting but it's actually really fun to read. one of the issues I had growing up had a Horizont-Al/Verti-Cal story and I didn't realize they were such old characters from early on in the story.

also somehow as a kid I managed to jerk it repeatedly to this specific image of Sally Moon (it looks like she has big tits here tho she doesn't) yet I didn't end up as a furry

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WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE OFF KEY JOKE ABOUT CHILD ABDUCTION AT THE END!!??

Its a kids movie, isnt that just a wrong joke? and about Sonic of all creatures.

(ah I get the metaphor, Sonic is a metaphor for your childhood and they are abducting, exploiting and debasing him)

>Jaleel White

jim carry

ehm...nope

The part where Eggman snapped and ripped out his own mustache was pretty epic.
Sally and Amy is getting sexier as the story progresses

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Why? It's literally early 90s Carrey hamming it up.

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SONIC’S ARMS AREN’T BLUE GODDAMIT

I had to stop it at
>gotta go fast

they know their audience

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SEGA has always been a Jewish company LARPing as a Japanese one.

Just look up the cast :^)

Tell me you don’t want to shove your cock balls deep into that maw

Sanic always was for those with a ritalin prescription down the road. Normal kids were naturally appaled by it's spedness

Holy shit a good reddit post, what are the odds

Damnit you know you have been here too long when that is the first thing that comes to mind.

I hope we get to see his feet

On the plus side, that includes Seattle, so he'll be killing or at least inconveniencing some of the most obnxious liberals in the nation.

SOInic the cuckold.

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Niggers arent smart but they are cunning, similar to Orks in warhammer.

Based. The undead zogspawn kept alive by the god of hell fire shouldn't be allowed to develope

Keked hard.

thank you user, very cool

>tfw Sonic is given child proportions, and the trailer has a whole scene dedicated to normalizing child abduction
Predictive programming.

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I recognized that Gangstas Paradise and Sonic and then I clapped.

0_0 where the lore is just too deep,

same hey day as sonic

if Ryan Reynolds' Detective Pikachu doesn't have a cameo just to make a quick CWC joke and peace out, I'm going to be very disappointed.

and here we see a multi million dollar marketing campaign getting its shit pushed in by some user and his pirated image editor
noice

I can't take the credit for it. I stole it like a nigger from another sonic thread.

oh no no no

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Yes he is
>Bartley, there's a blue man at the door
youtube.com/watch?v=0vCbROmg6oc

this shit is the best. $oynic

This makes me extremely uncomfortable, something about the uncanniness of the CG designs.

The only thing that looks vaguely redeemable about this is JC hamming it up as Robotnik, but that will not save this pile of shit, not by a fucking long shot.

>WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE OFF KEY JOKE ABOUT CHILD ABDUCTION AT THE END!!??
noticed it immediately. got sinister and creepy vibes from it. definitely a bit of the ol' mkultra.
all the soibois twatting about it thought it was a "genuinely funny scene".

>NINTENDO SWITCH!!!!!

twitter.com/KenPenders/status/1115328007357358081
How the fuck did he get away with this

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>What the fuck do we do! We are HEMMORAGING MONEY rabbi
>I know, just remake some 1990s nostalgic goy title and make it about diversity and how evil white people are.
Fuck get me off this ride.

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Chrischan on literal suicide watch

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GANGSTAS PARADISE YA DOING GREAT KID!

WE'RE GONN A START A WHOLE NEW GENERATION OF DANGEROUS MINDS KID!

can't fucking believe it Gangsters Paradise. Looks absolutely shite, fucking state of the wee blue prick. all that fucking money why Sonic look like a fucking wee rat.

>what are backup generators

>Market to babies
>Gangsters paradise song is the main theme

oh gosh why is antisemitism rising for no reason at all

any of you cunts old enough to remember Super Mario Bros coming out in 93? that was shite n all.

Noo I'm not even a sonic fan but I still respect sanctity

yeah this is definitely the Super Mario Bros movie of today's generation

all these shite films lose money. the production company must know it's going to flop otherwise they would have made a bit of an effort. films like this are Hollywood scams, there's trafficking or money laundering or agenda pushing or some shite going on. If they're willing to take a loss in millions it has to be a win for them somewhere, otherwise why bother.

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It will probably be your average kids-movie-made-from-an-ip, like Alvin in the Chipmunks or Angry Birds.

I thought it was hella fucked up non of the bystanders were calling the police. I guess kidnapping is normal in the Sonic universe.

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>I hope we get to see his feet

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is Tails or Knuckles in it?

No - this is the howard the duck of this generation! Its gonna be a movie you all shit on, until it comes out and becomes a cult classic. Shitty or not,this is gonna be well regarded either way. Its either gonna take the crown of worst movie ever from Howard the Duck, or will be surprisingly enjoyable watch even though critics shit on it before they saw the first 10 mins. But for sure, its gonna be a hit!

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Someone put rubbing hands on him

You are all fucking idiots

Oh my god...

>filled to the brim with Jewish Hollywood propoganda
Considering this is destined to bomb and take a massive loss, I doubt this will be filled to the brim with propoganda. If anything it's a bunch of dumbass Hollywood execs trying to appeal to "the youths"

>And suddenly, the Germans voted Hitler for no reason

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faggot

too bad randy quaid is a total fuck up and couldn't play eggman

Soinic the Headgehog.

Time to make sonic a racist icon, friends

I would prepare my anus for jewish subversion if that orifice had not already been ravaged by kike malady since day one of my life. The only solution is to wipe them off the planet.

Golly you're right. Thank you, based algerian.

That's for the follow up movies bruh

Go back

he kinda look cool when he look like actual Robotnik

Sonic's an ecofascist standing up to (((Robotnik's))) plans of enslaving all of humans and mobians into robot slaves in an industrial dystopia. It's Kalergi Plan shit.

the only bad thing here is the fact you can see his "baldness wig"