My GF has betrayed my trust twice. First time back in December over a stupid argument. She went and spoke to strangers online and sent flirtatious texts. I eventually forgave her. Now she went on a trip to the beach with her sister and her friends. I told her I didn’t mind her going if she didn’t involve herself in drugs/alcohol. She knew this and did it anyway because she wanted to and got shitfaced. I’m not angry at her for doing what she wanted to, I don’t control her, but I feel I’ve been betrayed. Should I continue things with her? This is a short summary so if you want more details, ask away.
GF betrayed my trust twice. Not talking to her. Am I being unreasonable?
Meh, how much do you care?
>She went and spoke to strangers online and sent flirtatious texts
Huge red flag.
>Now she went on a trip to the beach with her sister and her friends. I told her I didn’t mind her going if she didn’t involve herself in drugs/alcohol.
This is telling me that you're a red flag yourself, because what you did here was cringy as fuck and makes you seem like you're acting like her mom, which is probably making her considering finding a new guy even more.
I think you're both bad for each other.
What he did was not cringe, they are in a (I think) serious relationship and need to have self control and not put themselves in certain situations. Such as getting shit faced at a beach party.
She betrayed you, you were really controlling.
Just break up and do some serious self growth before involving yourself in another relationship.
Telling your girlfriend to not drink is cringe. You're not her mom.
>getting drunk during a summer beach party with your friends is bad
Oh, fuck off. The whole "you can go only if you promise not to drink" is so cringy and pathetic it made my bone marrow melt.
Just finished going through similar situation. The worst part of this is that it's not just her anymore, it's you.
Trust has been broken and you'll be anxious and possessive in the relationship. You'll end up having an adversarial relationship with your gf and things might not seem that bad now but it'll slowly get worse.
Break things off while you can voluntarily. It's for the best and listen to other anons who's been through this.
I am not telling my girlfriend to not drink a beer with her friends, I am telling her to not get shit faced and to not put herself in situation in which she can't control herself or keep safe from strangers (I challenge you to be reasonable after drinking so much).
It appears we have different beliefs, me and my girlfriend can perfectly have fun with friends without dying from an alcohol overdose
>Telling your girlfriend to not drink is cringe. You're not her mom.
If they are going to deal with consequences of her drinking they pretty much allowed to comment on it.
Don't bother, it's clear your communication means little to her, and communication is all there is in a relationship.
It's not up to you to tell her.
I don't even drink, at all, but I'd never question whether my partner can do something or not. He's a grown up, he can chose for himself.
She's away on vacation with her friends, he doesn't have to deal with anything.
> bf loves to have a drink every now and then
> we live together
> he's drastically stronger than me
not only I have every reason for not feeling safe with them, but I feel SUPER EMBARASSED to tell my parents about that. He's nice person, but some life choices of him make me feel really ashamed, aside the fact he's bi. Actually that's one of things I'm going to hide, so idk. Probably OP was right.
>having a drink now and then is dangerous and embarassing
Do you live in Saudi Arabia?
no, but he has every chance to end up as alcoholic
Kek. Having a drink once in a while doesn't make you an alcoholic, you absolute moron.
Not from a drink every now and then, he doesn't. You sound like you came from a sheltered American teetotaller household. A beer or two every day or two is perfectly normal and safe. If can't go through a weekend without getting dead smashed, just then you might be onto something.
You're mad she doesn't obey you and have no real control. But OP you have a lot of company most guys are so insecure just about anything will set them off.
My bf broke up with me recently and I don't care. It all started when he wanted me to play golf with him. I knew how to play but my bf kept trying to give me instruction and kept getting mad all the time when I did it my way and still almost beat him. It was so bad I stopped playing with him completely and started taking lessons with the pro at my dads club and my bf went crazy, especially since the pro was a guy. My bf threatened to break up if I kept taking the lessons so I kept taking lessons and got better. Then there was a family golf outing with his family and I reluctantly agreed to play with them and the only person I was interested in beating was my bf. By the 11 hole I had him by 4 shots and he was getting madder and madder and running his mouth about my fuckbuddie golf pro and threatened to break up with me for sure if I beat him so I did and he acted like a child and stormed off screaming it is over.
Oh its over and I don't care. You insecure boys are not going to bully me nor am I going to play and let you win so your ego remains intact.
Chuckle worthy story
I don't believe what I did was cringe by telling her I was not okay with her drinking with her sister. My problem isn't her drinking, as we've done so in the past among friends.
My problem is her sister, who is a major alcoholic and has no self control. So you could say, my issue is not that she drank but the people surrounding her.
I don't control my girlfriend and do a tantrum when she doesn't "obey". She's old enough to know what is and isn't good for her, goes without saying, old enough to make her own decisions.
Some of you people here really need to do some of the self-growing you're advising me to do. Follow your own advice.
If she has demonstrated herself to have such little self control and such poor behavior that you cannot trust her to behave herself or be faithful to you when you are not looking that is not healthy. Relationships are about joint-ownership, she is yours and you are hers. If you can't trust in that I'd just break up with her, she wants pleasure not commitment(based on what you say).
Both your observations are correct. I do know that when there's lack of trust, out comes the insecurities and that turns into control. I don't want that and I'm sure neither does her based on her actions.