Anyone else have the issue that they seem to attract a spirit of "one-upmanship" and some sort of animalistic desire to seem "alpha" in other men? Not talking about some classy, controlled, self-confident men, they don't care about others because they're secure in themselves. But I tend to, especially on public transport or in classes or public in general ,etc, attract guys who seem to take my existence as a challenge to them. I don't even really bother to look at other men in public because I'm focused on myself.
It's usually generally low-status men, for example a guy will deliberately walk 'intimidatingly' close to me on public transport, or try to stare me down, or try to encroach on my space by spreading his legs ridiculously wide when a woman is nearby, or purposefully not move at the gym.. or try to turn their nose up at me and be dismissive from the start - while they aren't doing this with anyone else. They never break my frame and I never flinch though and these characters eventually crumble or slink away once they can't keep up their facade anymore.
Who else knows that feel and how do you deal with this?
You listened to that Pitch Anything book didn't you?
Anyway, most of this is probably in your head. Also if you're in a low class / low income area the men you're dealing with are closer to beasts than men. So they're just being stupid.
Ryan Young
Cocky confidence, contrary to incel/pol/tard beliefs does not attract women.
Big dick energy, meaning cool, understated confidence is what attracts grown women and inspires awe from others. Learn to not act autistic, but also know that sometimes, not engaging in one upmanship, but taking control of the conversation and steering it your way is the most alpha thing to do.
Jaxson Jones
No frame is a very common term and has been for about 15 years now
Gabriel Anderson
Unsure what youre getting at but you didnt read the OP I guess. I am saying that I am NOT the one trying to act alpha or cocky.
Christopher Carter
I'm from a kind of old money family and am well educated and travelled. I've walked through life treating people equally and giving everybody a fair chance and I've never felt the need to wave my dick around regarding anything.
A few years ago I decided to change careers and I started working for a start up in a field which some might describe as quite rough and ready. I find a lot of the guys I work with to be insufferable.
They want to make it. They want money. They want to be a success. They like expensive cars. Conventionally 'attractive' women. Drugs, alcohol, expensive clothes and shoes.
Honestly. Almost once a day I have a conversation which runs out with somebody where they are trying to assert themselves or put themselves above me in a childish way. It is crazy.
I struggle to bond with people like this because I'm not like that. I don't care about status, money, outward appearance. I'm not there for money, success or anything like it. I'm there because I have a passion for the industry and I want to make it grow and succeed in my local area.
Just this toxic aggressive competitive streak which doesn't want to back down, admit mistakes, see the opportunities in working with others, collaboration and so on. I saw it a lot in my old job because the other management were just ... where as I've a fairly friendly and holistic approach based upon building strong and confident empowered teams who feel invested in the business and can take it forward themselves with proper guidance (and if that happens, great I'll move on to fresh challenges) I've worked with sly, secretive, paranoid people who withhold information, undermine their teams, put them down, use them to make themselves look and feel more important and vital than they are and basically create pointless work (meetings, reviews and so on) to sustain their own existence and keep themselves at the top by making sure everybody else is awful, simply there to make them look good by comparison.
David Cox
How do I deal with it? I call them out in front of everybody. I don't do this in a hostile way, I just point out what they are doing and ask them why and ask them to explain how this helps them or the business at large to meet their goals. Sometimes I'll outright tell them to stop being childish or ask them what they gain by being such an obstructive cunt. But generally I avoid sinking to their level. I do good work consistently and I'm always pushing for things to be bigger, better and everybody can see that.
Carter King
this is exactly the kind of behavior I'm talking about. I guess you are right and there is nothing to do except calmly and clearly calling them out on exactly what they are doing, or just ignoring them while they turn inward on themselves. I guess these people see you as a threat to their own self-ordained superiority and try to neutralize you, despite the fact that you may not present or see yourself as one.
Gabriel Ramirez
How do you deal with this? I have a female friend that married a guy like this. Everytime we're alone he does this shit.
Like I show him a motorcycle I'm fixing and he wants to talk about day trading. If I talk about biking he wants to talk about how he walks around with his shirt off. If I talk about going to a con and dressing up as Kirk he has to bring up how short I am compared to him.
It's this constant I'm better than you shit. Like wtf. I just want to talk about fun shit.
Grayson Peterson
well seeing how he is consciously trying to belittle you at your own expense, the next time he does it let him finish and then ask him "Is it a priority for you to always try and one-up me in conversation to appear better? Or did your parents just raise you to be socially inept?" The last part will trigger him GL
Julian Jackson
Well yeah. Classic change your reaction and not others. There is part of me that wants to hold them down and scream in their faces, but it'd never work anyway. I do some strategic stuff like I said, calling them out in front of people whose opinion they really care about is quite satisfying and I feel dissuades them from trying it again with me (for a while at least), but generally everybody notices what an unhappy insecure shell of an individual these people are and gets it so it isn't like I'm alone with this. I said the conversation runs out. When I say that I am describing times where I'll just use awkward silence in response to the sheer ridiculousness of what they are saying, usually they are highly attuned to things getting weird and they don't want things to get weird because they are terrified that people might think they are weird or something. Just staring at them with a raised eyebrow until they start trying to justify whatever ridiculous thing they came at me with and continuing until it just ... evaporates and the room is silent. Pause and then "ok, so moving on with something actually relevant ..."
Yeah man don't hang around with these people that sounds terrible. I like to talk and joke around, but I've always had respect for those with quiet self confidence and ability because it is a rare trait. If I was fixing a bike I generally would find some way to incorporate them into the activity which highlighted their incompetence, usually this gets them to fuck off quite quickly. I actually plan these kind of things when I know I'm getting certain visitors because I know that while the women will complain I'm being antisocial it can sometimes be the only way I get respite on a weekend. That said I've managed to remove pretty much everybody like this from my life by directly telling them to get the fuck out of my face and to stop talking to me.
Isaac Nguyen
I just say "that's interesting user" and mostly ignore the comment.
I figure not being impressed by his comments hurt him more than anything.
Jordan Jones
You probably shouldn't have female friends, if you are hanging around a female friend and her husband who disrespects you that just sounds entirely like a toxic environment and you are disgracing and disrespecting yourself by associating with them. The fact that she is married to him and probably generally permits this behavior speaks volumes about what kind of people they both are. I would dump your relationship with both of them entirely and move on with your life, you deserve better. Not being impressed with his comment is to an extent lying to yourself because in the end you actually are bothered by it. Don't play yourself it's not good for your health, just my 2c
Aaron Johnson
have female friends like that*
Luis Myers
Oh he lies about it. Its obvious to me he is intimidated by me but acts cool when she's in the room. He walks around with his shirt off which is a pretty clear sign of disrespect. He used to whear one because she made him but he didn't this time. I think he was mad at her. He's kind of a brat out of public. I suspect he is a narcissist.
I probably should drop them. It would be better for my mental health. But I worry about her safety and we've been friends for 14 years.
Ayden Gray
Also there is no way for him to actually disrespect me. I make 70k more than him a year. All he has is better abs and 2 inches of height. He's pathetic.
William Myers
Yeah that's super disrespectful and low class, every person you come into contact with influences you and this guy is toxic. Just by associating with them they start to live in your head rent free; attention you could have put on yourself and your own goals and happiness gets diverted to their petty garbage, I would keep a good distance and if your friend asks why you are so distant just tell her you're not a fan of her husband's personality. Being honest is liberating and the better thing to do for your mental health. Your mental health is the most important thing because from it stems your ability to do everything else in your life
Bentley Garcia
Lol nice
Evan Campbell
So you had perfect life and are surprised some people lived in broken homes or were deprived of many things and have developed complexes of it. It seems like you're the douche one here not understanding basic reasoning.
Brody Smith
Lol those are good tactics, going to use them.
Levi Reyes
He didn't say he is surprised any longer, but that he WAS surprised when he was more naive and introduced to it. That's completely normal. Him recognising that other people have chips on their shoulders & vent their frustration and feelings of inadequacy on innocent bystanders does not make him a douche; they are still the douches for having no self-control and giving into animal jealousy shamelessly. Kind of like how you are with this post.
Ethan Reed
I was with you up until this comment. THIS is what's pathetic.
Robert Butler
Everybody has challenges growing up. My family isn't easy going or perfect by any stretch. They are emotionally stunted, distant, self absorbed. Generally I was left pretty feral as a child by disinterested and emotionally distant parents. You've also got to realise that people who have had money for a long time tend to sometimes live and look like homeless people. My point is I've never really felt as much of a need to compete because money isn't something that is ever a problem or a big deal or something to be proud of, it just simply is. Image isn't a thing because you can't judge a book by its cover, I've family members who wear the same ratty clothes for 40 years as a badge of honour while shopping for a helicopter.
Mason James
Can you give me some money to help me pay for my barber course and some money I borrowed to pay for another course...?
Benjamin Fisher
I usually just ignore these people, and try to be my polite self. Funny how it’s usually a short drunk dude who want to pick a fight though, hehe. They remind if those small barking dogs.
No way dude the way you hold onto the money is by never giving it away or spending it.
Hudson Clark
Yeah, but I'm poor, trying to do things that'll make me "rich" in my own definition of "rich". Since you're already rich, why don't you give me a hand, at least I'm asking you money for something that isn't bullshit.
Camden Rivera
Feel however you want. I know I'm successful. Some guy walking around half naked or bragging about how tall he is wont detract from my own self worth.
You can get butthurt I used a dollar figure but realize this Jow Forums. I'm not actually going to write out how I make that money so some sperge can Google and troll for the lols.
Landon Williams
Still was a petty, pathetic post that brought down all the other shit you said earlier. The mask is off so to speak.
Carson Wright
No one cares.
Elijah Sanders
Am I being trolled? Because I dont give a shit how you feel about it. It is what it is.
Carson Stewart
I see it with my bf constantly. He’s big and beefy as fuck and other men either seem to want to bow to him or challenge him.
Alpha as fuck response is to ignore them. Their behavior doesn’t prevent you from potentially spreading your seed.
Brody Myers
It doesn't hurt him. If someone bullies you and you ignore them it doesn't help you
Eli Scott
Adendum: they probably view you as a threat and/or alpha or they wouldn’t act this way
Chase Thomas
You wouldn't get that if you were small and weak. Take it as a compliment.
