I asked a girl to go out for coffee the other day and she said yes. It went really well but she casually mentioned she has a boyfriend mid way through. At the end she said she'd love to do this again sometime and, while I know it doesn't really count for much, initiated a hug not me. After some snooping I found out she's in a long distance relationship as her BF is overseas in South Africa. She's here on a Visa for like a year and a half and mentioned she'd like to make a life in America. What do you guys think? Is this worth pursuing any further? Should I just call it quits and say fuck it? I really don't wanna just get friendzoned but then again she has to know the signals she's sending right? I can't imagine she told her BF she was going out to coffee with some guy right? She said she was free this next weekend should I just ride this out and see what happens? I was planning on going out 3-4 more times just to feel this out. I guess it's good for at least the experience right? What would you boys recommend?
Is it worth pursuing this girl I've been talking to?
You're her friend. Women connect best with friends. Ask what's going on with her boyfriend, be happy to be her friend, because life is more than sex and being in romantic relationships. Maybe she'll start to see you as more than a friend but you'll have grown as a person and stopped trying to date by then.
>Women connect best with friends
Like I said she has to know the sorts of signals she's sending and I don't think she's telling her BF that she's going to grab coffee with another guy. I'll just ride this out and see where it goes I guess
anyone else wanna chime in?
She’s not stupid, she probably suspected your intentions. Mentioning her bf was her way of telling you that she’s not interested and that you are to not misunderstand your hangouts as dates. It’s not worth it to pursue her.
Women in relationships (all of them) tend to be reserved about being alone with other men unless she's feeling whorish, so there's something there.
If you're waiting for that girl to be single for a length of time that's measured on the quantum scale, you're going to be waiting your turn for a very long time. All guys who get gfs get them by by cucking another guy to varying degrees these days, it's only way.
This, dig that friendzone hole so deep you can't even see the light anymore.
The fact she's in a long distance relationship is a point to think about. Her BF is a continent away and she's here for like a year and a half. I'm not gunna go in with huge expectations but I figure it's better to spend my Saturdays with her rather than shitpost on Jow Forums alone. At the very least it's good experience right?
You are deluding yourself if you think something will happen between you and her just because her bf isn’t physically there.
>At the very least it's good experience right?
Yeah it honestly is. You’ll learn the hard way why you should just not bother with certain girls.
>You are deluding yourself if you think something will happen between you and her just because her bf isn’t physically there.
I've fucked girls who had a BF in the past although this one I'm talking to now is considerable cuter. Funnily enough that girl I smashed with a BF was in a long distance relationship too. I'll ride this out for a outings just to see where it goes. Worse case scenario I get friendzoned and ghost her
>You’ll learn the hard way why you should just not bother with certain girls.
Again when the alternative is shitposting on here during the weekends what have I really got to lose?
>you are to not misunderstand your hangouts as dates
It is up to OP to turn this hangout into a date.
>You are deluding yourself if you think something will happen between you and her just because her bf isn’t physically there
Women can't even help themselves around other men if their bf IS physically there, if there's attraction, which it sounds like OP hasn't found out yet.
ffs why did you make this thread if you were never open to advice in the first place? You were always going to go after this girl, no matter what anyone said
>which it sounds like OP hasn't found out yet
How do you figure? I thought the coffee went real well we talked for like an hour and 15 minutes. I'm not mega chad so building such attraction would take a few dates at least?
You claimed to fuck a girl with a bf before, so obviously you have some semblance of social skills when it comes to women. Not sure what else we could really tell you.
What am I supposed to take this advice on face value without talking about it whatsoever with you guys? It'd make for a pretty boring thread. I hear you guys it's probably nothing with this girl I was just letting you know certain factors you ought to consider. If I don't go in with huge expectations I don't really see what I have to lose going out with her a few times.
>she's here for like a year and a half
She's going to cheat, the question is whether it will be with you.
Oh lord, that sweet summer dumbass BF is in for a rude awakening.
>She's going to cheat, the question is whether it will be with you.
She's 19 so I'm hoping she's not super committed with her BF but who the fuck knows. I mean few girls are at that age. Like I said previous I suppose I'll just ride it out for a little while to see where it goes
>You claimed to fuck a girl with a bf before
Sure but not nearly as cute and way sluttier
>Not sure what else we could really tell you.
I was just wondering how you personally gauge attraction with women. I feel like she's kinda into me but this girl is kinda hard to get a read on.
I should qualify that. She's going to cheat, unless, big caveat, UNLESS the bf is extremely attractive and he locked her down because she's the modest and loyal type. I've been around girls in that kind of ltr before and the raw Chad energy required to break that kind of bond is unfathomable.
>She's going to cheat, unless, big caveat, UNLESS the bf is extremely attractive and he locked her down because she's the modest and loyal type
Honestly that's kinda the vibe I get off her and while her BF isn't giga chad he's pretty good. Good point user, I don't even know if it's worth moving forward with this. Maybe I'll give it one more chance to decide.
based