Do i just let her go now?

>How am I being placating?
You say that it was a pleasure to see her in both texts, even though she's basically rejecting you, and you have this vibe of "everything you decide is okay :)". You're being apologetic with the theater comment, and then you throw in the sunscreen comment to show that you care or something,

It's "too nice" and that's off-putting to women. You probably wouldn't write like that to a male friend. I'm not saying you should go with "we're going on a date, bitch, and that's that", but you give me the impression that you're trying hard not to be confrontational in any way, shape or form. Girls don't like it when it's too easy for them to get with a guy.

>but not a date if that's okay
>but not a date if that's okay
lmaooo

>You're an asshole for being up front with your intentions instead of lying to somebodies face and ghosting them
What the fuck is wrong with you?

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>Should have said that's okay and agreed, then just ghosted her.
What? Lying is dum

>But you confirmed yourself as a creep who just wants sex.

Honestly I'd be happy to date her long term but yes, I want to know this is going somewhere . i don't mind waiting for the snatch but kissing / physical affection is important to me. If she wanted to wait 6 months for sex, fine. But kissing and heavy petting is wanted.
Yea...
Yea im not gonna reach out. Just gonna wait till she hits me up months later.

Ok

Less nice. Im too nice .got it

Bump

>bumping without any explanation
Why do you people do this? Seems like you got a lot of replies already. There’s nothing more to discuss with you.

What happened at the theater?

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I want a way to fix this and i like the attention
I fucked up by rushing a arm around her shoulder , she pulled away eventually. Then she put her knee in my hand so i rubbed her knee, then eventually her thighs . I bumped into her hand to hold it and She didn't reach for it, i pull away a bit but still rub her knee and calves. she eventually turned her body away after that.

I'm pretty inexperienced in dating

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>but not a date if that's okay
That was the point where you should've gone with "i'm not interested in a platonic friendship, thanks tho", or with a simple "okay".
After that, no more responses, unless she is willing to make it a date. And explicitly says so.
It is hard, but have some dignity. If you "lose" her- bad for her, not for you.
Don't stay in any kind of relationship you aren't comfortable with.
Best of luck with getting over it.

>I want a way to fix this and i like the attention
There’s nothing to fix. Have another (You)

The only way to fix this is to get another girl, and somehow make this current girl feel like she messed up by not being accessible. But you have zero chances of salvaging this situation alone.

For next time: Never, ever send a follow up text after a date. Especially if it went bad. We men tend to have the belief that if something went wrong, you can fix it. Or by letting her know something was awkward, it's going to help. No, what's going to help is making her feel like maybe she did something and she was responsible for the date being awkward. You want her thinking "Wait, did he not find me attractive? Did he have a bad time? Is he disappointed? Unlike other guys, he's not sending a follow-up text, must have other girls he's interested in" have her mind spinning with possibilities.

>t. Machiavelli

>You made yourself look like an asshole cunt. Should have said that's okay and agreed, then just ghosted her.
Made me lol. Unironically, this is the right answer. Makes you look good and she's not going to follow up on that shit anyway. And if she does, then you're busy and she will take the hint. If she makes a big fuss out of it, you can call her out on it and she looks stupid.

>we could do something again but not a date
What does this mean?

First of all a coiple of mistakes

1) Asking someone on a date right after another one is just bad form.
2.) "If you wanna do something hit me up". Not masculine at all. You could have been more direct and asked when she was free to get together or even set up another date with a specific time and place.
3) Good move on the last text! You're not interested in being friends, thats cool. But I would have said it more gentler or not like a snobby girl. "Hey, that's totally cool with me, but I'm interested in something more than friendship. Just hit me up when you change your mind"

What to do next:
On to the next bird.

The fuck does that have to do with Machiavelli?

>t. actually read the Prince and the Discourses

He's referring to the mango

Nothing. But my advice was Machiavellian. It'd get downvoted to hell on Reddit.

This guy is on point.

Let the girl be the anxious one. Always stay cool and centerted and certain.

>First of all a coiple of mistakes
>1) Asking someone on a date right after another one is just bad form.
Didn't realize i did that,oops.
>2.) "If you wanna do something hit me up". Not masculine at all. You could have been more direct and asked when she was free to get together or even set up another date with a specific time and place.
K
>3) Good move on the last text! You're not interested in being friends, thats cool. But I would have said it more gentler or not like a snobby girl. "Hey, that's totally cool with me, but I'm interested in something more than friendship. Just hit me up when you change your mind"

Do i come off as a snobby chick ?

>3)

Yeah "No thanks!" lol sounds like a Hill girl

>1)

After the date you wait at least a week to ask for another one.

>No thanks
Sounds like snobby response to someone wanting to spend time with you. It almost implies she was the one to ask you to hang out first and not you. I would reply "no thanks" after a terrible date or to someone who acted like an asshole in the past.

>Your feelings are always ok with me :)
Smiley seems passive-aggressive and it again makes it seem like she has any feelings other than "not interested"

>Call me if you change your mind.
Don't call us, we'll call you should be the order of things if you're a man.

>Pleasure to see ya
The ya makes this statement sound bitter, unlike if you would have said "have met you :)"

This is how a woman would analyze it.

>Don't call us, we'll call you should be the order of things if you're a man.

Wish I learned this earlier. I let her do 90% of the talking, texting and initiating and its fucking amazing. I don't even stress anymore when she dont snap some days. People need to realize it wont always be a constant stream of attention from a person. That's bad form especially for romantic interests.

People seem to be giving you shit but honestly this isn't that bad, I've seen much worse on this board. She wasn't that into you and is letting you down respectfully and you took rejection pretty well.

But yeah, it's a rejection, you gotta move on. She's explicitly saying "I don't want to date you" in about as nice a way as possible. If you're not interested in friendship then just don't follow up on it and be busy if she tries to hit you up.

Solid advice.

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>and somehow make this current girl feel like she messed up
What kind of logic is this? Are you still in high school? Grow up

>I want a way to fix this
You can't. It's unfixable. Move on.

>Rubbing someone's thighs on the first date
What are you doing?

Embarassing post bro

>>I want a way to fix this
>You can't. It's unfixable. Move on.
K
>>Rubbing someone's thighs on the first date
>What are you doing?
Trying to get my fingers wet?

Even I wouldn't wanna go out on a 2nd date with you.

You probably would desu

What's a better way to tell a guy you aren't interested?

the trick is it doesn't matter if you look placating to her since she wasn't interested in the first place.

Checked
I don’t think there’s any good way at all. No matter what the girl says, no matter how blunt she is, there’s gonna be a guy who deludes himself into thinking he still has a chance.

>no thanks
Lmao you have no chance

Hi OP there is a difference between placating and being nice.

Placating:
"No thanks but your feelings are always ok with me:) Call me if you change your mind. pleasure to see ya"
>Removing yourself from the situation
>Affirming their world view
>Not stating your own feelings
>Deferring to their actions and not taking responsibility for what comes next

Contrast this to being actually nice:
"I had a lot of fun too and would like to see you again, but I have romantic feelings for you. If you'd like to hang out but only as friends it would be very difficult for me emotionally so I'm going to have to decline until these feelings subside."
>Being direct but respectful
>Taking responsibility for your own emotions and responses
>Being emotionally vulnerable but not out of control
>Owning your next action

t. someone who placates all the time because I'm a fucking coward and I notice it but it's still slowly ruining my life and my dating prospects. Please learn from me user.

Wow, well put thank you. Im typically very assertive but this gorl fucks my mind and I'm fairly inexperienced .

I'll think on this

I've noticed when I'm invested in someone and worried about how they'll respond communication becomes much harder for me. If you want further reading I would google "Passive Aggressive and Assertive" communication. It's helped me a lot because I worry about being too aggressive when I'm trying to be assertive since I'm usually passive.

I'm sorry but that's gonna be a big ol' yikes for me

don't be a simp, you just got asked if you want to be one of her purses she carries around when she's lonely. of course you say "fuck no bih, I'm out"

She said she only wants to hang out as friends so there's not going to be any dating happening.

Lol TMI

The chadway is:
>Okay, nr. 235 I will fuck nr. 240 instead

Yeah you cannot understand plain english. She doesn't want anything and told you so. The end.

Ignore the retards i this thread who have never spoken to a woman, ghosting means you're a coward. You said the right thing and made it clear that you're not looking for friends.

Sending that other texts is pathetic as fuck and makes you seem needy, you laid down who you felt and now you need to follow through with it. Never text her again and move.

you can try more but your chances are low

she said no to next date
you made it clear you wana fugg
both parties unsatisfied

Okay you talk like a creep, which girls don't like, and you tried to finger her on the first date. If you want a real relationship you gotta be friends first before anything else. If you just wanna fuck try Tinder or something.

Pretty basic: 3:2 message ratio. You're texting her too much, and that makes you seem desperate.

You're just ugly and unattractive, all there is to it.

youtube.com/watch?v=JVmELtFvxuU
>tells her he hates monogamous relationships right on their first date
>cheats on her multiple times
>demands she abort when she accidentally gets pregnant
>asks her how she plans to pay for "her half" of the abortion cost
Some guys can say or do literally anything they want and girls will still stay fiercely devoted to being their girlfriends, doing everything they can to keep him around and make him theirs.

And then there's you, for whom getting the next date is a balancing act on a razor's edge and a single mistake is fatal.

Think about it...

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