ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to give honest answers, don't answer question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like ?
>What do girls/guys think about
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, .

>Guys insecure with their 4+ inches dick
Fuck off

>Is it too late to start dating?
no

>Why is there no new thread?
Create one yourself. You can use these macros: imgur.com/a/y6BF2

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How does somebody with subconscious mother issues find a suitable partner to fill these insecurities. I feel like I could only love a woman who I felt was mentally above me, but I have never met a woman that I felt fit that description.

Seems to me like you need to become more independent and responsible. You probably live your life knowing that your mom will always help you do things but adult life is about putting that security aside and trying to be secure by yourself. Once you get there you'll be more confident and realize that you want to be with someone more similar to you in that sense. Right now I think you're looking for someone to mask your insecurities instead of working on fixing them.

I want to bring women in my life but I have no social media account, nor any messenger except for one for work, nor friends. I think I should start with talking to girls online.
Where would you suggest me to start? Is Omegle any good today?

I am totally independent and am emotionally stable. I did not mean to convey a lifestyle issue, or a responsibility issue, or a maturity issue. You've misinterpreted me in almost every way. I only meant to say that I believe my taste in women could be traced to motherly neglect, quite the opposite from your assumption. It is not that I am dependent on my own mother or have relationship issues. I am turned off by women who are overly agreeable and are less capable of emotional independence. Maybe a better way of putting it, is that I do not believe I could be in love with somebody whom I perceived was not above me in wisdom. Female personalities do not tend to aggregate to these characteristics of independence and object oriented introspection. It is also characteristically rare to find women, especially in my age group of 20 somethings, who would naturally take either an equal or superior role in relationships comparative to the average woman. I am not implying sexual orientation nor anything related to sub/dom stuff, only again referring back to the idea that I would never be comfortable being with somebody whom I believed was not above me in some way. I have yet to find even a single woman I would feel comfortable being with. I am finding it very hard to find a woman who will call me a fucking idiot and really mean it. If I were to put it more simply, (though doing so misses some key points which I believe in part lead to your misunderstanding), I need to be tenderly dominated in a mental way, not just sexual, which is typically the opposite for male and female relationships.

If you never met a woman like this and are not attracted to men, how do you know this is what you want? How can you be certain that this "I could totally love and be with someone, -if only- they met x y and z criteria" is not just a way to rationalize your lack of luck with developing feelings or staying committed (or any other part of the relationship process that goes wrong)? Are you sure that these criteria are not a rainbow and if you reached them they would vanish only to make place for new, additional criteria before you can love someone?

If you have a very specific profile that a woman needs to fit in order to be attractive to you, fine, that can work as long as you are willing to work on it as well and make compromises - e.g., you are much much more likely to find a woman like this who is older than you are. But before you go on that quest it is very important to know whether this is your real, actual issue or that you find it very scary to love to begin with and moving the goalposts is a way to feel like you are moving towards love without leaving your comfort zone. The mind is endlessly creative in ways to trick you.

Obviously I don't know you and it sounds like this issue has been turned over in your mind so much that you would really be looking for a good friend or a professional to give you input, someone who doesn't just hear the story but knows how you carry yourself, what impression you make on others, what your childhood looked like. But I can tell that from the post you wrote here, you sound like a prideful person and maybe a bit pretentious. I am not saying that to offend you by any means. You go out of your way to point out several times that the other user, the stranger trying to help you, misjudged your very short and general question. You don't seem in any way self-conscious about making the assertion that you never met a woman you feel is your superior intellectually.

Based on this impression, my first thought/association is that you want to stay in control, you are maybe subconsciously afraid of the loss of decorum, the unruly emotions and the general messiness of growing attached to another flawed person with emotional baggage, and having sky high standards for what someone should be like is a way to not touch that whole wasp's nest [and, again, still not feel like you are avoiding it, because you totally WOULD get together with someone, if only... etc]. Or if you had bad experiences in the past, it might be a subconscious way to not risk getting hurt like that again.

For the record yes these are wild assumptions based on next to nothing, and I am not saying this to offend you, assuming is just the only thing I can give you that might give you food for thought. Otherwise I have no answer but "take it to a better audience than the internet". Good luck user.

Let's say you meet an attractive guy with a good career.
How would you feel about the fact that he still seems to be in love with a girl he was with as a teenager and wants to go very slow/has issues building up the necessary trust for sex etc.?
Thanks

You should really make social media acc.

I don't recommend this at all. It's easy to fall in love with your own projections when talking to an online strangers, particularly if you're starved for female attention. And by far most people on sites like Omegle are just looking to kill time and not for anything even remotely resembling a serious friendship.

If you really do want to, google around for websites for penpals, or one of those websites where you can learn another language with the help of a native. But in general real life friendships are just superior, all the more if the issue is that you don't have much experience with the opposite sex.

I don't want to be someone's second choice.
I don't care about waiting for sex or taking things slow, but if you're in love with someone else I'm not wasting time with you.

I don't fall in love often so if I developed feelings for you I'd probably wait it out and try to tread carefully. However that would be against my better judgment, my rational answer is a hard no.

I have been in love with my first love for years (after it ended) as well. It is now a decade ago that we were together and after growing up a lot and lots of therapy I can say that there was nothing about him or our relationship that in any way "warranted" my response. He was an addiction to me. I needed that fantasy as a form of escapism. It suited me to reserve all those feelings of love and tenderness for someone who could not disappoint or reject me, it was a safe outlet for me when I felt very vulnerable about these emotions. It only got better after I faced a lot of things about myself and worked hard on moving on. I could not even develop feelings for anyone else for years because my heart was so occupied. If I felt like a guy was in the same way holding on to hope about his ex... I'm not going to sit around and wait for him to realize he can't live like this. I'm not going to take the risk that if I grow on him enough he will forget about her.

It would be a completely empty account with 0 friends. Don't you think it's kinda repelling?

So I havent had sex in six years when I graduated. I got a good paying job in a small town as an engineer at a tire plant. There aren't many if any women here my age that are single with no kids.

I'm thinking of lowering my expectations and asking a divorced women that is pear shaped out. I'm probably going to stop looking at porn or masturbating until we have sex as she doesnt turn me on at this time.

How horrible of an idea is this? I'm looking for a job in a bigger city but figure it would at least be good practice and help my self esteem.

*sigh* I really wish adults would have been more honest with me as a child. What's the point in making good grades and getting a six figure job if non of the women did the same or waited for a good man? I havent even went out with this woman and I'm already frustrated that my income could go to provide for some shitty dude's kids.

I should have just got jacked and joined the airforce.

Good plan. Attraction can grow. If you have chemistry, have great fun together, have amazing sex etc you look at someone in a different light. There are lots of tiny details to find sexy about someone that you simply don't see if you don't have feelings for them.

However, attraction must absolutely grow. If it doesn't, if you come to enjoy your time with her and have sex with her yet you still don't take a big physical interest in her, break it off before you both become too attached. Hotness is not important, attraction is hugely important.

Don't go for a woman with kids if you already feel resentful of the mere concept. Actually being a step parent can be hugely rewarding in the long haul, but it is often unthinkably ungrateful and will bring many challenges even for someone who is psyched to take that role.

And yes work on getting relocated. I know it sucks particularly if you love your job but as you said yourself you are not satisfied by your life as it is so it is worth sacrificing in other areas to get more romantic options.

>if none of the women did the same or waited for a good man?
Let's face it, you did not "wait", if you had met a woman five years ago who was everything you wanted you also wouldn't be single.

Why would a girl tell me about some "cute guy" she met, along with how he seems "fake"?

Also,
She did playfully shove me, and talk about hopping I stay at our work for longer before finding a new job

Tinder, bumble, and hinge are inefficient ways to date because true compatibility is based on personality and lifestyle, not photos and 3 sentences. I am wasting my time on these apps, sifting through people I have no interest in and meeting people that I am only superficially comparable with (we are able to have small talk but are lacking more). Okcupid is the only dating site I know of that has personality compatibility as a component, but the people on there are too leftist/alternative or poly/non- monogamous

Is there any alternative?

Tell me ur bra sizes and ages.

Why am I attracted to slutty girls?
It's not that I go out of my way to fuck them and I know I'll be happier in a relationship with other girls who are more like me that I even know of, but somehow when some good looking slutty girls becomes an option I have a hard time deciding who I want to date even if in my head the answer is obvious. I feel guilty for thinking that way and was curious why that is

34 DD. 24.

Impossible to say. Could just be sharing what's on her mind, girls talk about people they met/know more than guys. At the same time it's not a sign to discourage you, guys typically find it a turn off to hear women talk about other men but women don't feel the same way and often don't realize it can be off putting to an interested guy.

Playful shoving and telling you she hopes you stick around a bit longer can be hinting that she's interested, can be a little flirtation just to make time pass more quickly, can be truly being fond of you as a coworker. Pay attention to how she treats other people. If you do go away invite others for drinks. Ask her out if you wish.

34D, 26.

What's a good way to break the ice with a girl I never really get thar chance to talk to?

From what I can tell, I'm one of the closest shes with. Has also shared food with me, jokingly said for me to stay later to keep her company and stuff.

Dont think shes done that stuff with other people at work.

And yea, IMO, its possible she was trying to gauge my interest by bringing up that "fake" dude and all.

There's many options and ultimately you are in the best position to know your feelings. Some options though;

>honest preference
People like different things, men who get hard at the thought of the wild stuff their girlfriend did absolutely exist. Men with a preference for an open relationship, wild living (partying, drugs etc) can also feel drawn to girls who present sluttily because they feel more likely to find the kind of spunky, extroverted, living it up partner they are looking for in her.
>Madonna/whore
Some men just cannot perceive a modest (dressing, representing) woman as a sexual being as much as they can "the kind of girls in porn". Or they can only imagine having tender, breathy vanilla sex with the girl next door and they are really craving a tattood girl with a pierced clit to wear a collar all day around the house.
>brevity
Maybe you are not ready to settle down and subconsciously you feel a "slutty" girl will naturally be a fling, while a cute, attractive and honestly interesting girl will get you tangled up in responsibilities and expectations about long term stuff and commitment.
>prior experience
If you dated/fell for girls like this in the past, it can become a subconscious thing where you want a girl like your ex. E.g. men who are used to drama-filled relationships with abusive or unhinged women can feel bored or stale in a more mellow, healthy relationship without screaming fights and the likes.

So a few days back, I met up with a chick off of tinder and we fucked immediately, then we talked for a little bit, I had a real good time. Afterwards she asked me for my social media, and said she enjoyed my company, followed by "I'll contact you in a few days". She didnt unmatch me from tinder, and doesnt seem to have been active. I actually liked this chick, am I reading to much into this?

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I'm not that well-versed in online dating, if you specifically want to meet people with similar interests then you just can't beat real life. Friends of friends are much more likely to have a similar outlook and similar hobbies, same for people you meet at events related to your own hobbies, or in your classes/at work if you follow an education and/or have a job you are passionate about.

Maybe a forum specialized in an interest of yours, but that's a very roundabout low success rate way of meeting a single person your age in your area so I don't recommend that.

This isn't something you can single-handedly control, but sharing a look/smile when you both see something odd or funny happening is in my experience the quickest and most natural way to get over that initial hurdle. Otherwise a well-timed comment or joke about something you are both looking at or have in common (like a jab towards your eternally malfunctioning workplace coffeemaker or something) can do the trick.

If you do go for traditional walking up to her and saying hi/introducing yourself, asking her if she's got anything to look forward to that week is a nice safe question to quickly get an idea of her personal life and get her thinking of something fun.

I used to have low self esteem and would only date 'easy' girls but I always wanted a long term relationship and I know what kind of women to go for but I feel like once I get with a girl like that, I'll never experience what its like to be with a more sexually driven partner, but that isn't what I'm after, its like an itch I just want to scratch but don't have to, in this case I just don't know if it'll go away once I get with a girl that I actually like, get along with and respect. Sluts are a fun fantasy but irl I don't see myself with any of them, they attract me however, but I guess that's their game no? I'm new to all this, only dated a handful of people in my life, also started dating once I hit my 20s so I'm still learning whats what

Wait for a bit and if in a week to ten days you still heard nothing, suggest something yourself (without alluding to anything being wrong).

It's discouraging sure but you don't know what happens on her end. Maybe the ex she never truly got over contacted her. Maybe there's a huge family fight and she hasn't had any room to think of her own future. Maybe she enjoyed the date lots but afterwards realized although she liked you and had fun you said many things suggesting you are fundamentally incompatible. You just don't know and it's of no use beating yourself over the head or analyzing every little thing you did or said when it might have nothing to do with you at all, she could even be sick. All you can do is show some patience then some interest. Here's to hoping she sends you a message man.

>would only date 'easy' girls
>to be with a more sexually driven partner
Sounds like it's a combination of familiarity and (in this case positive) stereotyping. Girls who dress slutty or even girls who fuck more different people are not necessarily more sexual than others. Seeking out many partners can be a result of insecurity or habit as much as it can be the result of sincere lust.

Likewise, a woman who has had no or few partners can be a frigid woman but also someone making the choice to resist desire. I am sure that if you were to group thousands of "slutty" people and thousands of "modest" people, the slutty ones on average would be more interested in sex. But it does not work this way if you look at individuals, the same behavior can come from different places.

Don't commit to a girl without being satisfied (enough, nothing's perfect) by your sex life, it sells both of you short.

Most of these divorced women have 10 and 12 year olds. So they started baby making mid high school or right after hs graduation. They straight up didn't wait for shit.

I know like one woman my age with a 2 year old that waited and she married a narcissist that I wish would fall into traffic.

I don't know where you live but in my country babies born to mothers in their teens or early twenties are not usually planned/desired, especially if they are born to college going women. I'm 26 with friends ranging from 24 to 30 and none of them have kids (or have been married for that matter), not for lack of wanting to but trying to build a stable life.

If this is the norm around you then definitely look into moving. I'm from WE Europe and assuming you're American but everything I hear about big American metropolitans also suggests people settle down later (late twenties to mid thirties).

I met a guy who is perfect for me -- he's kind, treats me very well, our ideals and backgrounds are similar, and he's smart. But I don't feel enough chemistry. I don't even feel a bit. I want to feel at least a spark.

Do I stick with him even though I feel nothing? Everyone I meet is terrible for me and this is the first genuine guy I've met.

It really depends. Women should be able to read a face or absense of face. If you're talking about dudes you find hot and a guy starts to be less responsive or gets a face like he's shitting glass, you might be breaking his heart or making him feel bad.

Like not even related to dating, but can you guys not read when you're hurting someone's feelings?

Tell us what you mean by chemistry. Men dont use that word.

No, don’t settle. You found a best friend and you’ll never really embrace a romantic relationship. It’s a bad idea at won’t end well. Sorry. Keep looking though, something will turn up.

I did it before ya.
We stayed together 8 years and then I broke up with him because I still couldn't feel any connection with him.
He's not a bad person, just not the right one for me.

If you want to give it a try go for it, but if you don't feel anything I wouldn't suggest to invest in the relationship.

Ok

I mean butterflies, or that feeling of sexual attraction. I can see that he's very physically attractive, but I don't feel attracted to him, if that makes sense. It's kind of like how straight men can see that another guy is good looking but don't want to fuck him. I feel the same

Rural Americans live not much better than third worlders when it comes to fucking and having babies. Women can start as early as 14 to 16.

I suspect much of the belly aching on this board is from young men in these small towns comparing themselves to redneck Chad's already making babies at 16.

Being best friends would be awesome, but it'd break his heart. I think he fell in love with me.

Yeah, deep down I know it won't work, but it makes me sad.

Men will fuck any woman that is attractive, so no, they dont really understand.

They only need chemistry for love, and a man can develop that without even interacting with a woman. Just by watching her be herself and coming to understand who she is.

Most people try to swallow their hurt and actively try to put on a brave/blank face. I have seen someone pull a face like they're "shitting glass" maybe a handful of times in their life and it was because of hearing a bad diagnosis or because they just got dumped or something and not because their crush talked fondly of a random guy/girl. More subtle shit like shoulders dropping a bit, voice getting more monotone, breaking eye contact, yeah you can catch that but it takes a bit of life experience. For all I know the girl OP is talking about is eighteen and straight out of high school and yes, teenagers are most of the time oblivious as fuck.

Even if you do notice someone is not digging what you say there's plenty of other explanations, if she notices and gets self conscious she could think oh, maybe he thinks it's slutty for her to talk about a guy that way, or maybe he suddenly realizes the same behavior she disparaged is something he also does, and so on.

And yes women are on average better at reading facial expressions/emotions than men. Source ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5749848/

>Yeah, deep down I know it won't work, but it makes me sad.
I get that. I dated him for this reason.
He was *so good* on paper, and a nice kid. I just didn't feel absolutely shit for him.
It took me almost 9 more years to meet a guy who is my everything, and I wish I waited out for him now.

Let him go, for both your sakes. I made that mistake.

It would explain a lot but it is opposite world to me to imagine someone being jealous of getting a teenager pregnant straight out of high school. That's a quick recipe for resentment and suffocation. Even back when getting kids that young was the norm, it was common enough to feel trapped and like your life was over after becoming a parent. Let alone in our "you only get one life, realize your dreams and develop yourself to the fullest" era.

Best friend said she loves me and started treating me like her boyfriend gradually. I don't really feel like she's my type but she's a good friend. I tried brushing off her advances and always raised concern when she's being too much and always referred to us as friends but she continues coming onto me. I'll be breaking her heart telling her that I don't see us together. We've been very good friends since the start but it's gotten somewhere I can't go with her.

I'm pretty sure she won't be able to look at me if we ever have this conversation but I could be wrong. Anyone ever here in my situation? is there a chance at recovering friendship or is this it for us? I personally find it difficult being around someone I have feelings for and we pretty much hang out every day, I don't want to lead her on either. What do and what be

Yeah you have to be straight with her and yeah you will lose the friendship. Very likely forever, maybe she will come around in some time and even then it won't be the same.

Tell her you feel like she's holding on to hope that your friendship will blossom into more and you feel like you are leading her on. That you appreciate her endlessly as a friend but don't see yourself with her ever. Don't hide behind "I don't want to lose the friendship by dating" or "I don't want to date anyone right now" or "at the moment I don't see myself with you", it should be clear that you don't like her in that way.

Yeah it'll break her heart but there's no way around it. Yes this fucking sucks and you will feel like Hitler.

It just feels like being taken advantage of. Like her plan was always to gamble with dumb stud and if that doesnt work out, divorce when the kids are 10 and find someone with a good job.

I understand that it isnt really that way, but it feels that way. The reality is that young women are told they have to have a baby to be happy. That some guy used them for sex and either they got pregnant by mistake or married them just to keep getting sex. That he never loved her and after 10 years the girl can finally feel how much he detests her, they grow distant, fight and divorce.

It feels like I'm being used, but the truth is that society lied to the girl about what makes people happy and some random guy lied to her to get laid and she's been used for years.

Maybe my past isnt full of wild orgies but at least it isnt full of 10 years of being used by someone lying to me about loving me.

Why dont you like her that way? Is she ugly?

>Being best friends would be awesome, but it'd break his heart. I think he fell in love with me.
If you don't want a relationship with him, make things clear ASAP. Tell him about that chemistry thing and see how he replies.

>Tell him about that chemistry thing and see how he replies.
Oh god that'd break him
I'd probably tell him it's an issue of distance or something. I spent a week kissing him and hanging out with him, he'll think I'm evil if I just drop "there is no chemistry".

>Like her plan was always to gamble with dumb stud and if that doesnt work out, divorce when the kids are 10 and find someone with a good job.
If this is your mindset don't bother asking her out. I can sympathize with where you're coming from, no doubt not entirely but I can feel some of it, but this is a random woman who did nothing to you and having hateful thoughts about someone before you even ever went on a date is an absolute no go.

Yes getting experience and going on a date for the sake of going on a date can be good, but you need to bring SOME emotional receptiveness to the table for that to work. Going on a date when you're wearing a mental harness of animosity, resentment and assumptions is like trying to force a spoon into your closed mouth. There's also the risk that with this mindset you will be scanning whatever she says for signs you are right to further feed this anger.

Focus on getting out of this place you're stuck in and working through your feelings about how your life went so far.

men use that word
if you don't feel love torwards him it's best to tell him asap. do try to keep a friendship with him though

>leaving job
>coworker asks for my phone number to text me directions to one of those retarded team building events
>tells me to come because he wont know when he'll see me again, his words
>dont go out of social anxiety and shoot apology text
>he's nice about it, says he hopes everything is okay
>would normally compliment me once a day before all this
>he would mention wanting to catch shows and stuff, though nothing ever came out of it, BUT
>once said that I remind him of his sister
>has a girlfriend and went out of his way to tell me he had one months ago

what the FUCK does any of this mean?? I'm older, so I grew up with the impression that when a guy asks for your phone number, he's interested in you

i'm about six years this guy's senior. are things just different now? he's just being friendly right? the sister thing has to be a kiss of death wrt sexual interest.

she used to date my best friend, but he's an asshole so it's not the no.1 issue, but it is one regardless. The other is just that our values and the type of people we are only seems to work in a friendship. All the things about her I don't like I can look over and not be bothered by too much because I'm not with her, but once I am I know I'll regret it. Not to mention that her last few relationships weren't very long and she would date fuck boy types exclusively and I'm not like that. She's probably the best looking girl I've ever known, but she ironically made me realize that it's not enough and the other things she just doesn't provide

after learning that about 25% of people cheat and seeing it happen to my sister i'm getting really afraid of forming a relationship. how do i overcome this?

How distant is he? If he's in love and he doesn't live way too far he might consider to move closer to not lose you. The truth hurts, but God... if it was me... I rather get the truth than some random bullshit. If you want him as a friend, honesty should be a priority. Better a painful truth from a person you care than being treated as a fool and thinking you can do something to solve the problem. Give him time and be supportive, don't ghost him if he tries to dig into you explanation.
The alternative is to start a relationship with him, but apparently other anons say it's better not to.

Take a decision quickly because the more you wait the worst he will feel.

Same country, but about 125 miles away. 2 hour drive. He just told me he potentially wants to move to my city.

I have osteogenesis imperfecta and it restricts what my boyfriend and I can do in bed. My boyfriend has broken or dislocated a few of my bones in bed so we really only do missionary. Is there anything I could try to make sex more interesting for him so he doesn't get bored?

Go to therapy to sort these issues, then look for a partner.

Join a discord or steam group or maybe make friends in a twitch chat, but I don't think Omegle will do you any good.

Honestly "still in love" is worrying but if he's a decent enough dude I'd probably have been friends with him beforehand and would be happy going at his pace.

I would honestly say don't sleep with someone you're not attracted to but I may be coming from a place of privilege. Make sure you're both on the the same page as to what you're doing together and if you're certain this will be good for you then I can't see the issue.

She could just be chatting to you about what comes to mind. The important thing about checking someone's interest in you wouldn't be what they do with / to you per se but if they do these things with other people too. Does she playfully shove other guys before telling them about the fake cute guy?

Meet people irl either through friends, coworkers, family, hobbies, teams, events, networking, etc. Or specific dating events irl like speed dating.

28B, 25

There could be dozens of reasons, the other user put it well, but also another reason could be because you feel you're "supposed" to be attracted to girls that dress that way because people say you are. You shouldn't feel guilty for thoughts, only actions.

Depends on the environment almost entirely I'm afraid.

I think she's done, sorry bro. I'd suggest following the other user's advice but I wouldn't hold out hope.

Attraction can build over time but if he's as good as you say he deserves someone who can grow to love him. Don't resign him to you being maudlin at middle age.

Been in a similar situation although he wasn't as brazen around me as she is around you. There's probably no going back but the conversation needs to be had because her reaction is only going to get more severe as time passes.

Only enter into a relationship with someone you've already grown to trust implicitly.

Tie him up! Have sex on a chair where he can't move. Blindfold him but leave him unrestrained so he has to move slowly. Have sex in a bath / large pool of water. Tried any of those?

Tinder maybe, at least to get a few conversations going.

Try /soc/ to find Kik pals, I used to do that

>She could just be chatting to you about what comes to mind. The important thing about checking someone's interest in you wouldn't be what they do with / to you per se but if they do these things with other people too. Does she playfully shove other guys before telling them about the fake cute guy?

I haven't seen her do anything like this with other guys.

AFAIK, she's only done this stuff with me:
Shared food with me
Shoved me playfully
Mentions "cute guys"
Goes out of her way to talk to me
Talks about having me stay late to keep her company

etc

I confess you that my question was there mostly because I was worried be the (very small) possibility that I'm that guy. I'm not.
Anyway, I repeat. If I was him I rather get the truth than some bullshit. Maybe it's just my personal opinion and it doesn't apply to him, but you asked for advice and that's all I can give you. Have some heart and say it nicely, but tell you how are you feeling. Don't ghost and try to understand if he's upset, but tell him the truth. Do it through text if he's far, but don't use him as an almost-bf till you get a replacement... tell him soon.
If you want other advice, just ask and I will give you my opinion.

32A, 21

I'm tiny as shit.

Girls like me quite a bit based on what I've experienced and seen of other men, but I can't find a reason to give a heck. There's a ,million things I'd rather do than deal with some chick trying to flirt with me.

Should I care more? Can I get myself to feel like bothering? Is it worth concerning myself with at all? What would I even get from having a girlfriend?

>Tie him up
I don't really enjoy being the dominant one.
>Blindfold him but leave him unrestrained so he has to move slowly.
Sounds interesting.
>Have sex in a bath
Tried that, ended up slipping and breaking my wrist

I feel you, I'm a 28AA.

>ind a suitable partner to fill these insecurities.
28/m here
Bad mother issues
And lots of relationship experience behind me.

You don't.

That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to emotionally reconcile in life. But you have to accept it will never happen. The only person who will ever love you "for who you are" unconditionally is your mother. If she failed in her duty, I know you have this gaping hole in your heart, like me, and you spend the rest of your life trying to fill it. You want to hold onto each hug with your grildfriend just one second more, you need her a little too much, you can't stand it when she's unhappy.

It has to stop. You will destroy every relationship you ever try. A girlfriend/wife will never love you for who you are. They only love what you have to offer them. It's normal and how it should be. They can't replace your mother, because you're not their child and your mother is not replaceable. Accept your loss and move on, for your sake and the world's too.

Get therapy. Seriously.
Unironically listen to your heart. Your subconscious mind is much bigger and knows more than you know.
I think I can explain this really simply;

He likes you, but wouldn't go for you. Because men adhere rigidly to abstract things like honor, moral rules, and social expectations in a much different way than women. So what you're seeing is his animal instinct reaching out to date you, but his greater humanity stopping him at the same time. He's formal and otherwise holding himself well. But the little signs of his emotional world are poking out.

It's like, in his mind is a monkey trapped in a cage. That cage (is self-installed) and is most likely his honor and masculine reputation.
Just stop caring. I imagine whoever I end up marrying will cheat on me. So I don't let it bother me. As long as they keep it a secret and nobody finds out, what is the harm?

blowjobs

Oh, ok, thanks user. I'm a bit worried because when I'm in difficult situations I can turn quite cold and make people feel bad... We spent a really good few days together, I knew it had an expiry date so that's why I didn't tell him, but now everything's back to normal he wants to carry it on. Not only do I not feel chemistry with him but I just don't want a relationship in general.

Sorry about your situation too, seems like you might be in something similar

>I feel you, I'm a 28AA.

Though honestly I kind of like it. It's very comfortable :)

the best size

Because men adhere rigidly to abstract things like honor, moral rules, and social expectations in a much different way than women
that's weird because every guy I've dated has cheated, so that's a hmm from me dog

although it would be my luck that I'm attracted to the only honorable man on earth

I blow him regularly already.

My boyfriend has been helping me learn to like mine too. He says them being small means he can be closer to me. Plus I don't need to wear a bra.

>new girl at works brings up this event happening nearby this weekend
>give her some excuse of having no one to go with to ask her out the next day
>she's kinda into it and we begin making plans but backs out for no reason last minute
>find out she just ended up playing games all weekend

Should I even try again?

my reply was rather lukewarm at best, and you are still suspicious of it?

>the only honorable man on earth
Pessimism and misandry will not attract a man to you.

Get therapy. There's obviously a lot of trouble in you

>He says them being small means he can be closer to me.
Thanks I'm going to steal that.

Also he sounds like a great guy. You might not need to worry so much. Get brave and ask him "do I satisfy you sexually?" You might like what he has to say

>We spent a really good few days together, I knew it had an expiry date so that's why I didn't tell him, but now everything's back to normal he wants to carry it on. Not only do I not feel chemistry with him but I just don't want a relationship in general.
This is a decent start. You should sort your emotions quite a bit and tell him everything. He will understand, or at least he will feel less like a tool. Saying distance is a problem would only encourage him to move and that would be pretty shitty from you... that was a terrible idea.
If you care about him as a friend, try not to be too cold. Give him the possibility to understand how you are feeling, don't just disappear but don't rise his hope either. It's difficult but it has to be done.

>Sorry about your situation too, seems like you might be in something similar
Arguably my situation is a little worse, but yeah... it is similar. I can't picture your guy feelings, but I'm not totally unfamiliar with it.

He's said before that our sex life works great for him, and he seems to mean it.

>Saying distance is a problem would only encourage him to move
Yeah good point... that would be pretty bad. It's a bad idea to change your life for someone you recently met, I guess he just gets attached quickly.

>Arguably my situation is a little worse, but yeah... it is similar.
What happened? maybe I can help

IF she only does these things with you, it's a good sign. Try saying / doing similar things back to her, see how she reacts.

You don't have to be dominant to tie someone up, depending on how submissive you are you can make it a session where he gives you orders and you basically fuck yourself on him by his design. It's like with the blindfold, just because it's typically a submissive tool doesn't mean it can't be used in a dominating way. Sessions entirely made of foreplay could also work.

>Men will fuck any woman that is attractive, so no, they dont really understand

Fuck off, thats not even remotely true.

You either have low standards or are a woman.

>IF she only does these things with you, it's a good sign. Try saying / doing similar things back to her, see how she reacts.

Yea, I will. She's receptive when I go outta my way to talk. (Hell, this past thursday I popped into the store and she was working. Instead of being in and out in 5min or so, I ended up BSing with her for 45 minutes or so.

I have been wanting to ask her out, and take her / go with her to a bar in the city with a mechanical bull. (She mentioned wanting to try it after I showed her a video of me in toronto on one)

That wasn't what I suggested you ask him;) my question is way more fun

But ok, so he said all that, then why are you insecure asking Jow Forums for ides of new things you can do to his penis? If he's satisfied, he's satisfied.

So what's wrong with you?

You're right, men will fuck women that aren't attractive as well if they can't find anyone else.

We're not talking horrendously unattractive, ofc.

Bottom line is that, in my experience, men draw the line between a sexual attraction and a romantic attraction (that one can exist without the other) much better than women can.

Have a vidya date

>What happened? maybe I can help
Distance is the problem. Or at least this is what we (I and she) think. Getting attached quickly is true for both of us... but by now we are talking for quite a long time, so it's not a shallow temporary feeling.
I might be able to fix that problem but it's difficult and it requires me about an year. She is seeing someone else... not quite a boyfriend but not just a friend. I agreed with it as long as she doesn't hide it from me and I'm positive that they are far from being made for each other. Their "relationship" will not last... I'm sure... I can feel it. But of fucking course that hurts me. Anyway telling her to not hang out with other people doesn't feel right (I'm not even sure if I can move close and fix that problem), so I'm kinda stuck in this situation. I feel like I really love her so I don't wanna lose her, I think she loves me as well... but it's painful.

My problem is that I'm terrified of losing him. He's the only boyfriend I've had and I'm so insecure that he'll come to his senses about dating a cripple. I thought he'd get bored of having the same sex every week.

Yeah that's a tricky situation. I guess you both want to be with each other but don't want to wait years being alone until you can live close together? In that case being free to date others is okay, the fear is one of you finding another person before you can be together.

I guess she's just trying to pass the time with someone, it's tough being alone

If you augment your sex life, and it works, then two things happen

1) He becomes used to, and expects an unrealistically high, excellent sex life from you. Once you start this, it'll be hard going back because he'll miss it forever. And then what will you do? He'll always be wanting more from you and forever unsatisfied, or you will be forever virtually a sex slave...
2) You resign that you are only worth sex. Maybe not so extreme... but you have a worry and you're solving it with sex. It's something you can control, of course, but what else can you control? Sex is cheap and soon there will be younger more beautiful girls everywhere who can effortlessly blow his mind and make you look like nothing. How do you compete against that? You will be old and ugly most of your life after all....

So the answer is virtue. Stuff like honesty, kindness, charity (look up virtue on wikipedia).

Of all the things women can offer us, virtue is the most important. It trandscends age. It's more important than anything that can be bought with money (housecleaning, therapist, and yes sex, etc)... and the best part is, it's completely in your control.

If you raise your level of virtue, to a super high level that just blows him away, then what have you done to him? You've made him feel like the luckiest man on earth and raised a serious standard in your relationship.

If you blow his mind sexually for a while (and drain yourself in the process), then what have you done? Raised an unachievable bar, that you are just a good sexy girlfriend for soem years. Then you'll be old and ugly for the rest of your life and he'll miss it forever and always want it back. Might even develop a wondering eye because he might other girls can give him the same thing.

Don't take my word for it. Ask any man on earth, what kind of woman does he want to MARRY. It's cliche for a reason....
>Looks are important, but not that important. What I really want is a good woman!

This isn't exactly an other gender question but it also doesn't deserve its own thread. Right now my biggest hangup for getting on social media is that I hate, HATE pictures of myself. I see nothing but ugly in them even the one taken by a friend some years back who does some freelance pro shoots. I keep none and the last time I let someone take one of me was several years ago. I think I'd just endlessly obsess with tripods timers angles posing lighting location fffuuuuuck if I tried taking one right now. I know this is some sort of dysmorphia, how can I get over it?

a boy started doing this very thing with me and we ended up actually dating. idk user, maybe it could happen, who knows?

What kind of girl would date a younger guy like that? I can only think it would be because she was significantly older and wanted somebody youthful.

Have you ever got the ick? What makes it happen?

the fuck is the ick?

Look it up

It's when you start of being attracted to someone then at some point for some reason you get turned off by them and cringe at having to kiss or be with them.

You're replying to the mommy issues guy right?

>What kind of girl would date a younger guy like that?
None. Shy of some freaky toxic relationship, there is no girl on earth ok with this. Get it out of your head and get therapy. Did you even read my post?

What can be wrong with me? I'm a young attractive woman and I really struggle to make any relationship last beyond the initial getting to know stage.

oh, I've had that before- daddy issues are a pretty surefire way to kill my interest in a girl. I get that guys who are looking for a quick fuck find them easy to take advantage of, but going long-term I can't stand someone who acts like a teenager and always uses "I'm/she's a grown woman and can do whatever I/she want/s" literally any time a conflict of interest comes up or one of her roastie friends is being extra self-destructive to the point that I'm concerned for her.