Is there anything worse than being rejected without actually being rejected?

If you wanted to go on a date with her, you should have called it a DATE. I ask boys and girls if they want to get dinner all the time, but if I like a girl, I ask her on a DATE.

Nah, I am very friendly to Sarah. I don't like her because she's so annoying. She's just very loud, and hogs the lime light. She doesn't do it on purpose, shes just ditsy.

But anyways. I am always respectful of her. This particular time I was a little more annoyed, but even still I maintained a positive attitude and just chatted for a bit before leaving

It is heavily annoying, moving on is easier with a no.

I actually had a date with girl and asked her about her best friend which is a female and she kept deflecting it a bit and it was coming from jealousy

shes kinda scared shed loose me to other girls, right there i knew she was interested, but still Op if she didnt knew you well she brought her just to be safer, I know a lot of girls will not meet you alone if theyre not comfy enough with you

But if she really liked me she probably would have made an effort for it to be just us. right?

Or are girls not like that?

I mean if I was asked by a girl to go eat dinner, and I had any kind of interest in her, I sure as hell would make sure I came alone.

So basically this says she doesn't like me, and doesn't care enough to take an opportunity like that to be alone with me.

I say alone, but obviously, I mean not around our usual friend group, just out in public

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OP did you try any kino on her, did you even tryed touching her that shoudl send a good massage to her for being a date

Well, actually its funny you said that.

I asked her if she knew this other girl who happened to work in the same place she does, she said no, and then asked me how I knew that girl with kind of a concerned tone.

I thought that was jealousy, but I guess I was wrong

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If you never asked her out on a date then you have no room to be crying about anything

>this was an indirect way of saying no
It was 100% this

The closest I get to her is when she comes and sits down next to me. which she does most times we're together (or across from me), but maybe its just coincidence

Girls are more comfortable with guys making the first move. If you're not happy with the results of the dinner, tell her your feelings outright so she is forced to give you an honest answer. Girls are also more comfortable playing the hinting game. You need to smoke her out if you want the possibility of this going somewhere. If it doesnt end in the way you like, you can at least have closure and move on to better things.

How do you know for sure though?

That's what makes this so hard for me. I can't help but think there is a chance

Like I said she's in my friend group.

Asking her to go to a nice restaurant (emphasis on nice cause I said "nice" when I asked) was kind of a subtle way of asking her out without causing too much disturbance within the group

I don't want to loose my friends, but I also don't know girls from anywhere else. Y'know?

It'd just be hard to come on so strong and get outright rejected, at least I can still hangout with my friends. I just wish this went somewhere

what am I supposed to say "hey do you want to go on a date with me?"

That sounds dumb as fuck, say it out loud and tell me I am wrong. Lots of other guys I know asked girls out for coffee or breakfast or dinner and it was implied. I don't have to be so direct, in fact that works against me if anything

asking to a dinner for a first date aka getting to know each other is a bit too fancy for my taste

better would be a casual cooffe date, thats what most do now

Everybody asking for relationship advice is a retarded zoomer from one of the gateway boards aka reddit. They're transient demographics, never stay on this site for long.

>she drove herself to the restaurant, so maybe you're underage or just low IQ
How was user supposed to know that? Your post does not provide this information, retard.

Impaired theory of mind is a common low IQ trait. You're probably in the bottom IQ percentiles as far as this site's userbase goes.

>How was user supposed to know that?

talking in 3rd person? Can't hide retard lmao. stick out like a hard dick

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>everybody who disagrees with me is the same poster
go on, newfag. believe what you want.

You're simply not very intelligent for not understanding what other people can and cannot know from a given snippet of information. This is not something you can change, I am afraid, because intelligence is largely genetic and environmental factors can only ever detract from it.

there is no chance, just move on and try other girls

Ahhh so you didn't actually ask her on a date and you're crying that she didn't use her psychic professor X powers to read your mind....My word...Why would ANY girl want to date a guy so SPINELESS he can't even articulate his clear intentions? Asking out a girl on a date is supposed to be the CLEAREST thing a man should do with a girl they're courting.

The blame on this is 100% on you. Not the girl.

>It works against me if anything
Yeah you tried to trick a girl into going on a date with you and it ended up backfiring. This being Jow Forums and not Jow Forums use this as an actual lesson to do BETTER next time and stop being so cowardly.

I also didnt ask her on a date but said we should grab coofe so it was never implyed it was a date but the kino i did to her probably send her a clear massage thou

You should have said oh I'm sorry I was looking for a date with you. You ladies have fun. That's when you leave. Don't sit there in dread. Nobody wants to be there. You tortured three people, you and those two women. Maybe if you weren't so upset you could have had a threesome or found out if they are dating.

Are you american or just very mentally retarded? Do you want OP to ask the girl if he can kiss her or touch her too, you fucking autist?
You shouldn't have gone in the first place and should've just ghosted her. Now she probably thinks you're her friend.

Let's set aside the absolute emotion driven charged for a second but if I didn't know better you sounded like a woman having hot flashes but you're probably just yet another incel as a product of today's emasculated culture.

>Do you want OP to ask the girl if he can kiss her or touch her too
This is what is called reading too much into

How about you use that thing you call a brain and interact with what I actually said instead of creating a strawman and arguing against it? But if that's too much work maybe you can just fire up the PS4 and go back to calling people "retarded" on GTA online since that's the level of argumentation your 20 year old brain seems to be permanently stuck at.

>Next time after you're spineless you should just ghost her then come post about it here bro that'll teach her! +5000 incel xp for ghosting thots /b/ro!

Moron.

>W-would you like to go on a date with me, missus? ;_;
Stop dating kindergarten's children.

I wouldn't ask it like that cause I'm not a spineless incel. However it appears your tactic of trying to trick women to go on secret dates with you is working out swimmingly. Maybe by 2030 you'll finally get a girl to show up alone.

>This board has been so overrun by robots, incels and feminists that telling a guy to be more bold is now seen as bad advice.

you're stupid!

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If OP wants to fuck her and not as a friend ghosting her is perfectly appropriate in this situation.

Shut up nerd

You're not going to last on this site very long because you're way below average when it comes to intelligence. Still, enjoy your stay.

I'm not OP, you autist. And I've never had to tell a girl that we're going on a "date" literally because that's clear from me wanting to hang out with her already. Fucking hell, I really had to explain that to you, you absolute social retard.

I wish I were neural typical enough for this sort of shit to occur to me. I would have sat there for 45 minutes like a faggot also.

suck my dick nigger

>I wish I were neural typical
Thanks for confirming you're retarded lmao. Exactly as I said, your inability to anticipate what people can infer from your post and what they can't is a symptom of low general intelligence.

Of course you're not OP, you're just worse and I can tell that this has happened to you as well because you think flat out asking girls out on dates is "retarded"

>that's clear from me wanting to hang out with her already
And what's OP's problem again? Oh yeah that's right he wasn't clear at all. I was advising him to be clear next time till your rage-baby self showed up. Somehow it has been conditioned into you that being bold is being childish when that is the complete opposite of it.

You didn't explain anything you recluse, you just ranted angrily like a little whine baby. You're physically incapable of getting your thoughts out without throwing a tantrum like the man-child that you are. I never once asked you to explain your stupid thought process cause I know all about it, too well unfortunately.

Not OP, just a LARPing idiot
No trick, there's no psychic powers involved either. Human communication isn't black and white like you're portraying it, and asking a girl to go out with you somewhere which isn't ordinarily where you go with your friends is a perfectly acceptable way of asking her out, and much more natural than sounding like devolved retard who has to be frank about everything.

Like I said, many of my friend have asked girls out with success in this way, and you're probably not the chick magnet/love doctor you pretend to be if you don't know all of this.

>courting
Go back to the 70's boomer. In modern day society we fuck girls using apps. You're not wise, and your pseudointellectual comments are just an insult to yourself

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What’s the alternative? Why would she bring her friend at the last minute?

I am not interested in a threesome, and I am considering taking the approach of talking to the girl I asked out (Olivia) and being more direct, but also asking wasn't it obvious.

Similar to what this user said

People telling me that asking a girl out has to be more than literally asking her out somewhere are also probably the ones making posts about how to be "alpha chad" or how you have to be Jow Forums to get any girl or some stupid shit.

you're stupid because you keep responding, and it's funny as fuck.

Lets see if you can keep your chubby fingers off the keyboard after THIS post lmao

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>devolved retard who has to be frank about everything.
This sort of thinking is why you will always continue to be ghosted because you think everyone thinks like you and the echo chamber that is this website.

> and asking a girl to go out with you somewhere which isn't ordinarily where you go with your friends is a perfectly acceptable way of asking her out
And the reason you did this is because you're spineless. Spineless meaning cowardice, meaning you were scared of initial rejection, meaning you tried to trick her by leaving it intentionally vague.

>chick magnet/love doctor you pretend to be
I'm giving helpful advice that while it sounds harsh will actually benefit you in the long-run. But you're not actually here for advice are you? You just want other "men" to come alongside you and talk about how dumb and irrational women are. How dare she show up with another woman? Doesn't she know what a stud/catch you are? All women are just whores rah rah rah and all that Jow Forums diarrhea you're used to.

>Hurr boomer
Right keep treating girls like a video game where you think deploying cheat-codes and earning enough xp will get you success with them.

I really wonder why idiots like you even make these threads on Jow Forums If you want to languish in your misery there's tons of boards you can go to where others in your position will come alongside you and coddle your manchild feelings.

>+5000 incel xp for ghosting
>strawman
>calling people "retarded" on GTA online
>Moron

Based Tumblr poster

LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN LMAO *laughing emoji*

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>she picks up her friend

If I was a Tumblr poster I'd be making the same lazy image based replies you make

OP here, how do you know how clear or not clear I was?

You don't even know the tone or context of me asking. You make all these assumptions based on one fact that I didn't use the word "date" in asking.

If you think that being more direct would have helped, then fine, but acting like it was the sole cause of my failure is just retarded.

The only garunteed perk of your method is that yes she would have just said no outright, but I also would have come across as less suave.

Believe me she knows I like her. I just wish she didn't. Also shes not exactly the most confident person herself, and blushes a lot when people confront her. So give so more thoughtful advice rather than this, "im boosting your confidence and telling you be more brave by being blunt with everything" attitude

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Her friend does kind of follow her everywhere. There's a chance that she brought her because she asked to hangout like she does pretty much every day.

I am going to ask her like this
"the other night, why did you bring sarah? Did you know I was asking you out?"

not that exactly, but along those lines. We'll see

You failed the test.

>you're spineless because you didn't ask in a way literally nobody else does. Also I am giving helpful advice which has literally helped nobody ever. Just look at all the empirical evidence against it.

Can you just fuck off out of my thread thanks bye

>Sarah and I will be there in 5
Should've got up and left there and then.
GJ, GE

DO NOT FOR GOD'S SAKE
Just ghost her.

Then what?

remember I also know them from my friend group.
Asking her out was a risk, but being an deliberate asshole is even worse

>There's a chance that she brought her because she asked to hangout like she does pretty much every day.
Lol no there’s not. If Olivia knew it was a date then why would she bring her friend? Are you implying that Olivia is so stupid that she didn’t know what you meant when you asked her out?

Ghost her and all of my friends?

Or just ghost her, and let her figure it out?

I already texted her afterwords, about other stuff how shes been because I hadn't talked to her for a few days after that happened and we usually text. but maybe I will just cut contact. Who gives a fuck honestly. I also think her other friend is into me, but idk if I could get with her without olivia trying to fuck the whole situation up before it goes anywhere

>Then what?
Then you ask another girl out.
>I also know them from my friend group.
Why would you shit where you eat?
>Asking her out was a risk
And now you insist on digging the hole deeper. You're friendzoned nigga, just move on.

I know it was the sole cause of your failure because you messaged her asking where she was and she casually said, "Ya I'm bringing mah galfren too" You never told her it was a date so she had no reason to assume it was.

Take it from someone who has spent HOURS talking to girls about this and grew up in a house full of girls I know the exact tactics girls pull when the guy is being vague and they aren't interested but don't want to be too mean in turning you down.

You put her in an awkward position where you invited her out and you didn't even tell her what you were inviting her out too. She would rather be in an awkward situation with her friend than to be with you alone and she definitely respects you even LESS now.

>being blunt with everything
I told you to be more blunt when asking women out on dates. I was abundantly clear with that. That's one thing you can't afford to tip-toe around ESPECIALLY today where people are non-committal and cancel plans last minute because they got better offers to hang out elsewhere.

You can either take the advice or leave it. No compulsion here. If you think being bold wins you less points with girls then you've sadly been emasculated by the current culture and you need to work hard to snap out of it.

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Shes also kinda just a push over, and probably couldn't tell her friend to fuck off.

Eh, you're probably right, even if she did ask. It's not like if she really cared she couldn't stand her ground just once and say no not tonight

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>Who gives a fuck honestly.
You're the one obsessing over this shit.
Ask another girl out and forget about this bitch.

How about you get out off my board? If you just want to blame others for your personal failures then you don't belong here. Let me help you out:

>And now you insist on digging the hole deeper. You're friendzoned nigga, just move on.
Okay, I can appreciate this advice thanks

Thanks for a friendlier response, at least do you have an example dialogue of how I could ask and make it clear, but also not sound like a sperg?

>has spent HOURS talking to girls about this and grew up in a house full of girls

also not to shit on you, but I grew up in a house with just my mom and sisters and also I've spent hours if not days in total talking to different girls here at my uni. Hasn't done shit for me apparently

Not OP, stop responding to LARPer

Don’t even bother bringing up her friend and asking about it. Here’s your two options
1. Ask her out again to go do something other than eat. Like go to a park or a zoo or something. Some kind of fun activity. Try to be a little more clear about your intentions. If she tries inviting people on your date again, just make up an excuse to cancel and drop it entirely. She’s clearly not interested
2. Just drop it right now because it certainly seems like she’s not interested. Maybe she didn’t understand that it was a date you wanted, but it feels more like she was trying to deflect and make it a “friend hangout” kind of thing. So drop the entire thing and just stay friends to not spoil your friend group I guess

If you're making women feel that sorry for you, you should legitimately just stay away from them because they will never make you happy.

I don't often say this, but you really are better off alone.

Besides, the world is overpopulated as is and condoms are not actually a guarantee.

And you'll be a lot happier if you just make friends instead, really. I mean, the odds are higher. Really, all women are in the end are close friends so don't worry about it.

>of how I could ask and make it clear, but also not sound like a sperg?
There's a lot that goes into this that includes body posture, eye contact, personal hygiene, and situational awareness. I'm not gonna spoon-feed you a works for all line but you can just ask her out the same way you would talk to a male friend:

"Hey if you're not busy Friday I'd like to take you out on a date"

1)You don't sound needy,
2)You don't sound like you're begging
3)You're not leaving it ambiguous
4)You're not posing it as a question that she can say no to ie NEVER ask "would you like to go on a date with me?" or "are you busy friday?" In both these questions she can say no and move on

In the first scenario you've crafted a sentence that requires more explanation to her answer and if she says no, then she says no. If she says yes, then you can move on to actual planning.

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that's when you go after Sarah, hatefuck her just to show Olivia

>Is there anything worse than being rejected without actually being rejected?
stubbing my toe. paying a parking ticket. almost anything, really. getting rejected is such a trivial thing.

>the world is overpopulated
'no'

Trying too hard summerfag.

This is autistic advice, OP has already lost with this girl and doing this will just lead to further humiliation. He clearly waited too long to do anything with her and even if that wasn't the case, most people understand what it means when someone invites you dinner alone. She probably realized what he was trying to do so she brought her friend along to subtly tell him she's not interested.

I told the girl I'm inlove with how I feel and she apologized and said she's not ready for a relationship and said something about being like her father when it comes to relationships( he left them at some point), but I didn't really bother to probe for more info on that.
I'm guessing she just doesn't have feelings for me and was afraid of flatout saying it, though I did ask her to just be straight with me as I need the hard truth in order to try and move on. She never confirmed it though and now my dumbass brain thinks this means there's still a chance. We also hangout and talk more now and she seems more comfortable when we're together.
I don't know what to do anymore as I also don't want to lose her as a friend and I'm also deluding myself into thinking there's a chance and can't seem to move on.

Greedy cunts want to secure friends in the process as a reliable and disposable tool to do their dirty chores and give them attention.

I would literally beat the fuck out of you irl. You low IQ manlet.

Been there. She said no and that's it. Don' t pursue her and be a good friend, you already told her your feelings and she's the one that has to make the move if/when she's interested

I doubt that she'd try to make a move if she becomes interested. Women aren't really known for being the ones to initiate and I doubt that her feelings would suddenly change, but I really don't want to lose her as a friend so I'll still be there for her in any way I can, and thanks.

The point is she let you down and if she's interested in the future she has to be the one making the move, not you. Just move on

Why didn't you invite her to a dinner just the two of you? Seems like the easiest path to conveying your desires. Why is it so hard to be specific?

Girls are masters at rejecting without confrontation. The ‘bring a friend so it’s not a real date’ is just a play from a playbook.

Her bringing a friend without telling you until the last minute was either because she felt uncomfortable going out with you alone or she is dense and figured it was a platonic group event. Once you learned another girl was coming you should have said that you didn't know that she was gonna bring her friend and you wanted a date with her and not her friend. Then suggest they do something more fun and less awkward than dinner like getting a few drinks and playing pool or darts, etc. At that point just focus on having a good time.

Also, don't take a girl to a nice restaurant on the first date, Do something simple and cheap that allows you both to relate to each other like going to a museum; you can learn a lot about people by their thoughts on art and shit.

Please don't tell me you paid for everyone's meal.

I would have to see OP face to make a judgment wheter or not he was being rejected or she was just uncomfy

This. Move on OP. No regrets, you had the balls to ask her out. In her head she is letting you down for the sake of your groups health and your future relationship. A flat out No is way messier than bringing a third wheel. And giving you the hint to move on.

>She picks up her friend (Who I really don't like) and then comes to meet me..
Theybwant a threesome bro. I think you misunderstood their intentions.

Girls will always try to hide behind a facade to avoid consequences for their actions.

Okay thanks, I will try this on the next girl I ask out

Don't be her friend. Its hurting more than helping.

You'll feel even better once you're over her than you will if she keeps spoon feeding you attention to where you're on a leash with a girl who isn't even your girlfriend... sorry man

Um I mean, I didn't invite Sarah.

I didn't even know she was coming. This is all pretty obvious Idk what you guys don't get

Do your parents ask you to come to dinner and you just bring out friend without asking?

This is pretty simple stuff. She did this for a reason

If pic related you’re a passive aggressive sad drama clown. Stop. Be more positive and encouraging and people might want to spend quality time with you

I didn't pay for their shit, but I wanted t ogo to a nice restaurant because in the group we usually meet up for coffee or something.

This was different. Definitely not something poor college kids would normally do. It was way too nice for that.

I dressed nicer than usual. They both did too. I think they knew for sure. It's all really fucked up

Thanks Reddit!