Good evening anonymous, I hope you're having a good week so far. Welcome to the Lunar threads

Good evening anonymous, I hope you're having a good week so far. Welcome to the Lunar threads.

Tell us about your troubles, how you've been doing lately, some good things that happened to you recently or anything else you may wish to talk about. We're a group of anons gathered here to lend an ear, chill out and perhaps give some advice that can help you.

With that being said, if you like our threads then we'll gladly welcome your company back. While some threads can happen outside this schedule, we usually get together every week around this time, so check the catalogue every Friday!

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Here to help in anyway I can, user. How have you been?

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I haven't had a job since June, only interviews that never called back. I'm almost 30 with no college degree or ever had a romantic relationship and I just can't take this pathetic lonely existence anymore every day I get closer to overcoming my fear of death so I can finally end this

It's a difficult situation, when you're making some effort such as with jobs but not having any sizable return for those efforts.
But the fact of the matter is that you ARE making some effort; I think that's to be admired in a special way.

Do you have any social life besides a romantic one, user?

No. I have two acquaintances from high school I rarely talk to because they're usually busy. One's almost a lawyer and other is a small business and also does some consulting work on the side. I feel so inferior to them but I don't have anyone else to talk to

It's hard to not compare yourself to others, especially when they're acquaintances. But remember, comparing yourself to someone else is always detrimental; however successful you may get, there'll always be someone you find to be more successful than you with that mindset.

Coming to your problems; when it comes to your employment, I suggest you continue applying for jobs and IF possible, you try and obtain some skills to make getting a job easier. It's a difficult task, but definitely increases the overall chances.

My other advice to you is to expand your social life; it can be online, in real life, etc. While you shouldn't use others as a crutch, everyone needs some support, and having some friends would be the best way to do that.

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What skills? I don't know how to expand a social life. I don't get along with other people, I have a very boring life and I don't really understand or like sportsball or celebrity things or cars so whenever I did try to talk nothing really happens.

Skills that'll help you get jobs like training for certain occupations, vocational etc, or if you can afford/are willing to make the effort for it, some other degrees.

What do you like, user? Games, anime, music, books, movies, tv shows?

Sometimes you don't have to like the same things or know about the same things to get along with others; you can just talk, and perhaps you'll end up finding new interests together. That's always special.

Either way, you'll be making even further effort in another area of life that could use some work. Definitely won't do you any harm; if anything, it'll keep you busy.

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As someone who enjoys sports and cars myself, I can say that that's not all I'm interested in. I'll sit down and talk about politics, history, religion, cooking, and some of what Kurisu said with like books, movies, shows, anime and games too. Hell, I'll talk about the weather. Most people have quite a few things they're interested in. It's just searching around until you can hit on one of those you have in common.

As for jobs, a lot depends on your location. If you're in a smaller town there might not be much available, but if you're in a bigger city there's a lot of community projects or volunteer work that you can sign up for and put on resumes. Anything that offers training positions, though they may pay less for a bit, they offer some of those skills needed as well. If you work at a smaller business too, something that looks really good is if you can become a keyholder and close or open up shop and such. Even though you might not realize it, stating that sort of thing on your resume is a big deal and can open up options for promotion in the future.

COULDN'T FUCKING SLEEP
So I went outside for a fucking night walk
it went great honestly
quiet as fuck
I've walked for i think half an hour atleast
did smoke 4 cigs which sucks but my posture feels a bit better again
also walks past a couple of a white girl and guy, the guy looked agressively at me but he had his woman so there was no cause for concern
then two Muslim guys came when I was walking home
and when I walked towards them I looked down for a bit, the bigger guy did the same but the smaller one was still looking at me (I could feel it)
when I walked past them, I turned around because always look behind your back, especially when it's two grown man vs one
so I looked back and one of them was looking back exactly like I did. Same posture slightly on edge, one feet still near the other person. And then we held that pose, for just a fraction of a second and looked in eachothers eyes
it was pretty scary as fuck because they could've fucked me up there and he did look like I insulted him (I might come across weirdly at people because of social anxiety)
anyways he walked on, I walked on, still kept checking my back because they can always turn around. Then a door shut, so I knew they'd not risk jumping me, so I walked on. They did say something though but I couldn't understand.

Sounds like you were tense that night, user.
But I get the concerns; anxiety, especially social anxiety, can definitely induce some paranoia to make a person feel these types of things.

Not only that, but I do think it's prudent to always try and be safe and aware of any possible dangers when you're outside, especially alone.

Do you feel your feelings were due to paranoia or in anyway unfounded, looking back at it? Do you get feelings like this a lot?

Still, sounds like an interesting night.

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I don't know what skills would help me get a job. I don't really like much stuff. Lately I just browse /v/ and shitpost. I like pre-abrams Star Trek and pre-disney Star Wars but never read any books so I don't really have much of a deep knowledge of those, and I did like anime but haven't really watched anything since 2012 or so. I don't really play any new games anymore just a handful of shitty free to play games I'm not even good at. I don't read books and listen to mostly video game music.
I really wouldn't fare much better with any of those topics either. Politics has always been some abstract faraway thing I don't care about and I'm an atheist because I really can't see why I should believe in some all powerful sky wizard when my life is so shitty, and I just don't have enough knowledge of any other subject to actually talk.

thanks for replying. Yeah I suffer from actual paranoia causing the anxiety, so it's not an uncommon occurrence. I get them alot, but this was more likely a good judgement. Had I not looked back, the chances of them jumping me, which unlikely but possible, what the hell are two young guys doing outside just strolling around at 5am while the Islamic prayer begins at 6.They were out there looking for prey, which is why he looked at me.
But the white guy, thinking about it, was just as scared of me as I was of him. He smoked. at exactly the same time as me, so whatever I was feeling, he must have thought the same (seems silly but in any social confrontation these small sort of (accidental) mirroring causes you to be more agreeable to eachother, in contrast i smoked walkimg past the two guys, but they weren't smoking, a difference which causes less agreeableness)

Just because you're an atheist doesn't mean you can't talk about religion. I'm not religious myself but I'm fascinated by it, so I like to talk about it. And similarly you don't have to be knowledgeable on a subject to talk about it. You can get by perfectly fine by just being interested in a subject and talking to people about it. Plenty of people who are passionate about things will be glad to help you learn about whatever they know if you show interest in what they have to say.

Vocational training may help you, for different crafts that might lead to better paying jobs.

And don't worry about not having a deep knowledge of the things you're interested in. Plus, you don't have to be good at a game to derive some enjoyment from it (although it certainly helps.)

But exploring these topics, distracting yourself from your negative thinking patterns; it's necessary so you can work on yourself.

Anytime; thank you for reaching out.

And that's interesting; do you think that you're possibly rationalizing it? The fact that they were two of them, they were out in a time that they usually wouldn't be out, etc lends credence to the fact that they may have posed a danger; and you're right to be on your guard.

But my advice? Even if you get these feelings, since they may be difficult to stop, try not to let it consume your thoughts too much. If that kind of experience happens, it happens. Afterwards you're thankfully safe; you may have been right in looking back and preventing any attempt from their part, perhaps he was suspicious of you and looked back as well for that reason and they were harmless. Could be anything.

But as I said; try not to think about it too much, it'll just exacerbate your paranoia.

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That's it for tonight, everybody. Thank you, user. I'll be hosting more soon, and you can look out for our thread this friday night.

I'll catch you later, user. Stay safe and may you have a productive week.

If you wish to contact me and continue the conversation privately, you can reach me through the following avenue.

Nyan#7856 (Discord ID.)

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Oh you're absolutely right. I've let my paranoia consume me for a long while, so I've now have an irrational fear of Muslims and lower-class whites. It's really stupid. But you're very much right, I didn't recognize his face but it's actually possible I knew the guy (before my paranoia I actually loved going out and meeting whomever so I knew a few people in my neighbourhood). He might have been suspicious of me aswell, also possible. I did my best to look not intimidating but you can't get the feeling of 'if they touch me I'll stab them' out of your head considering that it's your life and you're scared they might hurt you. I didn't even have a knife on me, but the feeling does help to calm me but might make me look a bit more dangerous, I hope not.

So recently I got together with a girl and I had trouble getting hard. I managed to hard enough to fuck her, but it was just plain bad sex, because it was only semi-erect. The problem is not physical, because I can get rock-hard erections on demand when I am alone. I stopped jacking off and watching porn. Is there anything else I can do? I made a joke that we would get a hotel that's housed in a tall building, so I can throw myself off when it doesn't get hard the next time, but I'm not sure how much I was joking. Any advice is welcome, please help guys.

I haven't seen or made friends physically since moving last year, and my last semester was miserable, forgettable, laz and I kept to myself.

FF and the summer's been good to me besides a few injuries. No employment/classes but started going to the community pool to swim regularly, started having a sense of fashion and became more confident and communicative with online friends.

At the same time I was poorly socialized for most of my lifetime and I'm almost 19. I want to invite old friends but don't know how. That and prioritizing towards seeing those I 've met for the first time in years.

Sometimes your dick knows best. Seriously.
you can try it again, but if it failes every time for a couple of times, it's just not meant to be.
I've had this in the past as well, questioned my whole sexuality, annoyed my parents because it was because i thought it was because i'm cut.
Tried it again with a different girl, got rock hard, and fucked the shit out of her.
It's hard not to get into the "oh shit, what happens if it fails again. I'm so emberassed. Am i even hetero?" mindset.
But it will work out. Trust me. And she will understand it too.

I've been doing pretty well lately, just been really lonely. Happy with school and my daily routines like gym and meditation, I actually have my shit together for once. But I moved after highschool and go to a community college where I don't know anyone. Fall semester is coming up and I'm just really hoping I'll manage to meet some people in my classes, but if that doesn't happen idk what to do. I can distract myself by being busy and with my hobbies but it's hard to not get hit with depressing loneliness often. No one really socializes at cc nor are there clubs I'm interested in. I might get back into fencing but socially there's no one I'd consider wanting to befriend there. Besides that I really don't know what to do.

It could be performance anxiety but there's not much you can do besides seeing if it's fixed the next time around. Some more foreplay on her part might help, but keep no-fap up, no porn and no alcohol.

I think that if you just shoot them a text or message them on facebook it'll probably be fine, the hard part is starting to do it but once you do it'll become a lot easier.

I ruined my life by taking loans mostly, and other not thought through decisions. Now I am out of school, working a low paying job and in debt to everyone (even sister of my exgf lol).
I feel like a piece of shit, I really threw away all the chances I've been given in life and I am currently crashing on a friend's floor (not even couch). Pretty much parent disappointment on full blast.
I am still up to my neck in debt, but I found another shit paying job and a bed to call my own for a month or two. So I guess, it could be worse.
I saw my ex for a few times during this period, we even had sex on a few occasions, made me remember all the good stuff, the fun we had. I don't want to get back with her but I'd like to hang out more, and honestly, one can't be too picky with friends these days.
So, I'm in deep shit but I'm one of those guys who learned to live under the depressing pressure of the ruin that is my life. I'll try to turn it around till the day I die.

I think that all you can do is to try to initiate conversations with people at your gym/cc regularly to see if you can get to meet them better later on; if you have stuff in common then that's great and if you don't then the socialization doesn't hurt.

Today isnt friday

>I'll try to turn it around till the day I die
That's the spirit user.
If your loans are credit card related I'd recommend trying to get a loan from another bank to pay those off, if the interest rate is lower on the loan you're getting than you'll benefit in the long run because you'll have to pay less interest over time; but since your credit score is probably shit I doubt that you can manage to pull this off without having to use some physical assets as liability which you probably don't have to begin with.
On another note, try to get a better job, preferably something that has career progression and requires no experience + offers training, there's usually a few listings like that floating about from time to time an for someone who has no superior education it's a great bargain provided you can pass the interview and get selected.
Good luck user.

True, but we all wish that it was don't we?

>True, but we all wish that it was don't we?
No, because im going to go to a bar and get fucked up by myself and walk home crying

You could always not go to a bar and/or not get fucked up by yourself; hopefully that won't make you want to cry afterwards.
What's the matter user? No friends or drinking to forget? Either way, getting shit faced isn't going to help you in any way and it'll just deteriorate your liver's health over time. Surely there's more productive ways to pass your evenings, no?

I only drink on friday nights so not too worried about liver. Helps me cope with stress and its the only time i get to feel good. Gives me adrenaline rush. I have a great time at the bar. I cry on the way home because im drunk and sad ill be sober for the next week.

I got everything going for me but i still feel lonely. I got money, gf, great family, but no friends. I am fairly likable, but i am heavily introverted. Not shy or anxiety ridden, nor any mental health issues, just an good old introvert. I spend my time here, or on other chat forums. I even took up WoW again so i could talk to people in a more suited environment environment.
I am at the point where i think this is as good as things will be for me.
Idk where im going with this, but if you’re a lonely person I’m with you, baby.

If you're really that stressed that you cry over not being drunk all the time then you should probably look for more avenues throughout the week to release some stress with.
Do you have any hobbies?

Other than shitposting i have gotten bored of every other hobby i had

Maybe it's time to try something new user, it's only natural that you grow out of your hobbies as time goes by.
If there's anything that you've always liked to try or might be interested in doing I'd recommend trying it out at least once in your free time to see if you'd like to pursue it.

That doesn't have to be as good as things will be for you. I imagine that you don't have any outdoorsy hobbies or practice any sort of collective sport but getting into one or two wouldn't hurt and it would probably enable you to meet some friends. You could always try get into online communities of things you like to try to see if there's anyone nearby who you could be friends and hangout with.
The tendency as you get older seems to be that you'll lose friends over time so I wouldn't worry too much about having none, but if you do feel a need for socialization and friendship then you should try to be a bit more extroverted when you can.

You're a lot better than most people with similar problems; you actually recognize that these fears are irrational. That's probably the first, and most difficult step, to overcome if you want to modulate these feelings.

I also completely understand that it's such a big part of you, so it's difficult to change something like it. However, they're ways to do it. For example, and this is an effective one, challenging your thoughts when they creep into your mind with logic.
When you start thinking "This person might attack me, they're out late, two of them." etc, remain on guard (since I feel one should always be on guard at times like that when alone.) but challenge those thoughts with something like "It's probably fine. They're out late just like me. I'm overthinking things."
You'll be surprised how much control you have over your own thoughts!

It could have just been a one time thing; it happens to almost everyone. I definitely recommend continuing to avoid porn. Don't think too much about it unless it's a constant problem; was this your first time having sex or just the first time this problem ever occurred?

That type of isolation is annoying; I know what you mean. It's a good thing you have more to depend on then just a social life; not saying it's not important, it is. But being able to be happy with yourself is of utmost importance.

I'd suggest still striking up a conversation with people in cc' it's worth a shot. In addition, trying to find some friendship online is always viable. It's done the job for me pretty well.

You have a better attitude than a lot of people in your position.
Unfortunately, you can't really do anything until you pay of your debt properly. I really suggest looking into better jobs, ones that even if they don't pay too well, they might have better promotion opportunities.
Another thing; I suggest picking up a productive hobby if you have the time.

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While getting shitfaced isn't all that horrible, I'd highly recommend lessening the amount you do it. And as Nero said, definitely look for more hobbies/things to give you happiness besides something that changes your state of mind. It's not fulfilling in the long term, trust me.

Like my colleague Nero suggested; online communities are a good method of coming out of your introversion. Something that isn't Jow Forums; you can't really continue relationships on a place like this. It definitely isn't as good as things have to be for you.

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Thank you, the spirit is all I have. Currently I am working in a call center, thinking about picking up another job at a fast food place or something.

I just don't wanna be a shit person. I am okay with having little or nothing, I don't really think I deserve nice things anyway. I don't want to be that dude that owes everyone money and never pays it back because the bank froze all his accounts or something. And I currently am that person. I want people to say nice things about me and not "that dude that never gave me my money back".

>Another thing; I suggest picking up a productive hobby if you have the time.

Yeah, that seems like a far cry for me. I'd probably feel too bad and anxious to enjoy a hobby and relax. I have an ongoing self-hate problem that landed me in this shit by rendering me bed-ridden (I was too depressed to get up from bed for 2 months is this even a real disease I feel kinda ashamed telling this) and honestly,when I relax - I don't, I just feel uppity and anxious about my life situation and problems. And when I'm working it just kinda feels better because "at least I am doing something" and not wallowing in bed.
That's why I'm considering a second job.

If you don't learn to relax you'll probably end up bed ridden or will do something dumb that you'll regret one of these days. Getting a second job is fine as long as you're not overworking yourself but ideally, having one job that could make up for 2 minimum wage ones would be better.
I don't know how much you owe but hey, if getting that second job can help you pay back your acquaintances and that would make you feel better than go for it.

Hope you're all having a good week as well. I was gonna post this on the GIOYC thread, but I might as well just post it here.

For being such a busy person, I feel pretty guilty for not having enough time to bond with my friends, especially with my SO. I usually wake up quite early (3 or 4 AM) to get things prepared before school, then get back around 2 or 3 PM, and mostly be occupied with various works. I barely have time for myself either and by the time I'm done with other things, I already feel too tired to talk to anyone.

I have many hobbies, but I can't even do most of them because of tight schedule. I'm not sure about what I'm supposed to do to make up for it and I also have to consider my health issues. Compared to average people, I get easily exhausted from just doing anything.

How often should I communicate with my SO and other people if I don't have enough free time for anything? What else should I do about this problem?

I think that you should communicate with people as often as you feel is necessary.
That aside, shooting a few people some texts doesn't take that long and it's not like you have to answer them immediately, so even someone that's extremely busy can have some semblance of a social life. Learn to optimize your breaks and who you need to reply to first to get the most out of your time.

You need to start being able to relax at some point; but if working more helps you feel better, more power to you. I'm similar.

However, what I mean with a hobby can be something that helps you improve yourself; exercise, going to the gym, learning some skill that can help you in the future like a language, writing, etc. It's not necessary, but it's something to think of.

Coming to your thinking pattern, however; that's definitely something that needs some modulation. You need to start challenging these negative thoughts; remember, whenever they start creeping up on you, they only serve to paralyze you and thus continue the cycle of you feeling like you're not doing anything, and you really not doing anything. You can fight against these feelings, as hard as it sounds.
Thank you for reaching out.

First of all; let them know how busy you are. If they know life is so tight for you, good friends will understand that you can't make too much time for them given your schedule. Emails/some messages everyday should be sufficient till you can be a tad more free.

I do suggest making some time, if you think they're worth it, whenever you can. You'll have to cut out some of your own leisure time, of course; but as I said, if you think they're worth it, it is.

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The only thing is just that I suck at striking up conversations unless there's some context like partnering up for an assignment or something they might have I can ask about. Without context I just mentally freeze up with anxiety and don't know what to say to even start a conversation.

Just wondering how you'd make a friend online. I looked up meet up groups but everyone looks much older, stuff like tinder I just can't do right now since I'm living at home. And yeah I can try talking to people at cc but I honestly have little confidence in being able to start conversations out of the blue so not betting too much on making friends or getting a gf from school.

I've just come to the realisation that life is finite, and I think that absolutely nothing matters, values, morals, information, all useless. I have so many questions I want answers to. Why bother to do anything I'm gonna die anyway? There is nothing on the other side, it's just darkness, so why bother with good deeds? Why care for others and form bonds if they're all gonna go away? The universe will dissapear in the end, why do we exist if its all finite and ending? Should I try to change this mindset if it's possible?

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Don't worry even a little bit. I should watch LOGH, I just have such a tremendous backlog.

>Don't think too much about it unless it's a constant problem; was this your first time having sex or just the first time this problem ever occurred?

It's not the first time I had sex, but I hadn't had sex for a long time tough.

I'll keep up no porn, no fap and I don't drink much alcohol at all. You might have a point with the foreplay, I'll try to stimulate her a little to do more of that.

She had a gorgeous body, I'm uncut and I'm sure I'm straight, man. I feel like she lost of a lot of respect for me. She said no other guy she's been with had that problem, so she's not going to be very understanding about it.

On the plus side, I feel little bit more confident about my dick after some time of no porn and no fap. Let's pray it works out bros, thanks for the advice.

I've started talking to a girl online that I have a lot of affection for a while.
This is actually the first female I've ever gotten close to due to my extreme pickiness and she literally checks off almost everything that I love in a person.
Obviously started as friends while she had a boyfriend and she was the one who approached me anyway. Some flirting between us happened, but she put a stop to it some time back because she didn't want to be a person who cheats since she knows how much it hurts.
Right now, I believe she is planning on dumping him for good. (they've been together 2 months and have both "dumped" eachother and fought weekly, but are stuck in the same living arrangement until next Monday, so she tells me she has a 50/50 going on with him to avoid awkwardness)
She accepted the fact that they are simply not compatible together, and her efforts to repair it are pointless a few days ago.

She recently told me she thinks of me whenever she is nervous, to think about her when I am, asked me questions that you would ask someone you wanted to date, wanted photos of me during new job, sent me pictures of her, (she is a literal 10/10), and told me she's going to be more dependent on me after the 5th.
Despite all this, she is hanging out with him at some video arcade right now (she is pretty wealthy and goes out a lot), and it makes me lose hope, even though I am 99% sure their relationship is over. She hasn't told me herself, but it's extremely implied.

Do you think it'll all work out in my favor? I just hate how much I care about something stupid like this. It makes me feel like a fucking idiot because I've never felt this way before and don't know what to do.

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>2 months
I forgot to edit that, they've been together a lot longer than that online, but IRL for 2 months.

Why am I greedy..?

I cannot stop myself from thinking it... I have a stable job, a place, a girl, yet.. I want more, I have more than my childhood self ever dreamed, and yet I still feel sad.. I thought I had broken the endless cycle that brings me back to feeling sad.... Somewhat related why do I want to have another relationship whilst keeping the first...

(Posted this as separate thread, but nobody’s replying)

Hi,
So this a quite serious topic and I’ve been struggling with it for a while.

I think I’ve been molested when I was younger.
But. I. Can’t. Really. Remember.

I‘ve been struggling with depression and anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember and I started self harming when I was 14. (Y‘all can make fun of me, if you please. I know it was dumb)
That alone wouldn’t be an indicator but I have practically no memory of my first 8 years and flashbacks and dreams about me lying in bed and someone coming in and doing stuff. (Won’t go into detail, if I can avoid it; those flashbacks give me panic attacks)

I also suffer from phonophobia. (A fear of specific noises, which can develop after a negative event/situation)
I can’t stand the sound of a door knocking, door and floor creaking and the sound of heavy breathing; all of those give me anxiety.

I’m ONLY able to sleep with locked doors and fully dressed; why? I don’t know.

My mental illnesses are all diagnosed by a professional. I didn’t find the courage yet to speak to my therapist about my flashbacks and dreams, because I’m not sure if it is really true.

Can a child suppress memories this far? And what should I do if I really was molested? It can’t be proven 100% and I don’t remember who it could’ve been at all.

Tl;dr : I’m certain that I was molested as child, but I can’t remember anything.

>The universe will dissapear in the end, why do we exist if its all finite and ending?
Existence, beginning, ending, and nonexistence are man made concepts that we created in order to better understand our world. The universe doesn't have a reason. The universe just is.

But I think this makes life matter all the more. Everything does end, but it doesn't mean you have to become one with the void.
Enjoy the gift of consciousnesses and life while you still have it.
To do nothing is to be nothing, you are like a lightbulb on a limited timespan, why should you glow dimly when you can shine brightly? your light will radiate and the other bulbs will see you, and maybe they'll shine a little bit brighter too.

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