My parents divorced when i was a baby, i grew up with my mother. She always told me my father was an ass, violent and unfaithful. I saw him once when i was four and i was hospitalized after a surgical intervention that went wrong. A couple of times I had him on the phone at childhood.
In a way, i unconsciously promised loyalty to my mother, thinking she was holly and my father was seemingly evil. So loyal I was i never looked for him.
He died a year ago, when i was 28 already. I have spoken with his second family because of heritage formalities. It turned out he was not that evil. He was probably moral.
So my therapist and I discussed this point of view, comparing with my maternal point of view that i thought was true. It was not true, it was delusional and at times didnt even made sense. Maybe a lie or paranoia.
Now after a year later i feel i was loyal because i was lied to by a paranoid mother. I am struggling with being an adult, putting distance to childhood.
Now he is dead, there is nothing i can do to fix this.
bump. sorry to hear about your dad. Parental alienation is a real thing, just feminist groups and dirty jew divorce lawyers don't care. The state of marriage in the modern world is a mess
Forgive your mom. Don't just forget what she did, but accept that she was mindfucked by Jews and probably flat out insane. Let go of any anger you have for her. She fucked you over, but don't focus your anger on her, focus it on the Jews who turned her into what she is.
Forgive yourself. You didn't know your dad was a good guy, and it isn't your fault. Now you know. Honor your father by being a good man and living as well as you can and if you have kids make sure you talk about your dad with them and show them pictures and shit. Wherever he is he probably understands how you felt and doesn't hold it against you.
Ryan Ward
Heritage? Did you mean inheritance?
Jaxon Jones
That's a males lot in life, we are expendable. If one family doesn't work out you can always make another.
Carter Lopez
Welcome to female evil OP, it's quite hidden but evil often is.
Nathaniel Davis
Mom acts the same about my father, but he’s alive and well and I used to spend every weekend at his house. Craziness. My mom is insane, but my dad is the typical cheap obsessive arab
Jackson Hall
I didn't think it was not my fault. Thank you, you two.
Yep
Camden Foster
Rape your mother for reparations and get over it
Brandon Peterson
Obsessive arab?
William Ross
This.
I can't forgive or forget what was done but you can always accept that you are not perfect.
Strive to be the man you believe your father was and if there is any way you could stay in contact with step siblings it could help.
Oliver Martinez
>So my therapist Never ever go to a therapist. they are highschool counselors for adults
He enjoys being told what to think instead of thinking for himself so he'll probably follow your advice. First it was his mother. Then it was his therapist. Now it is our turn to mess around in his noodle.
Joshua Price
Its tough having a mother and a father They are like gods to you as a child They can become false gods When you see they are just humans You are an adult Sort of
Having a crazy mom does suck btw Been there done that
Elijah Rodriguez
You found out though user. That’s what’s important. It’ll be ok.
Grayson Sanders
Thats some weird new norion we gor from nation states with the onset of mass conscription in the 1800s to produce large fucking armies. So many songs and poems have been written about the loss of men. One more reason to reject modernity. That sucks OP. But this is a systematic problem. More of my friends have divorced parents than not, and they all have some issues. This is also true for most of Norway. Many other countries too probably. Its touted like it completely normal but we've never had to deal with this at any point in our history. And at the same time feminists will say its a good thing... I say end prevention and end no faukt divorces.
Brody Ross
hate to say it but this is life.
I think most everyone has a story about family lying about another family member only for you to find out after their death, that they were infact a decent person, and those people just disliked only a single aspect of that persons life.
Tyler Gonzalez
You have to raise yourself now, read books, read about great men and their advice, pay attention to male role models in old films, ask advice from older men, hang out in groups of men, work with them, learn from them. There's a website called the art of manliness, there are some good articles on there. Don't let it hold you back. To better know your father you can find his friends and ask them about him, ask them for stories or things he said, so you can know him. Wasn't your fault dude, honour your father with how you live your life.
Benjamin Harris
Yes and no men were always conscripted to go die violent deaths even when we were tribal. Women and Children stay at the center of camp where it is safe.
Evan Lee
Also, a lot about being a man is facing your fears and bearing responsibilities, standing up for yourself and being assertive. Strength of will, determination and perseverence. Find a way to honour your father, find out what he liked, what he wanted to accomplish, what he was interested in, what he thought was important, and add it to a goal of your own life, along with your other goals. By completing that quest, you will have honoured his memory.
Christopher Perry
Not en masse. Think about the poetry about the brave knight or hoplite that fell, versus 50 000 men died here that day. That sucked. Also, there were distinct warrior castes. Infantry could be levied for sure, but you wouldn't expect to die on a battlefield during your lifetime. It is socialism and feminism that has gotten together to say that any man is as good as any other so just replace him and you'll still be happy gurl (slay) But we aren't all equal, but we are all still unique, so boiling any belief system down to the metaphysical and seeing whether that is the case or not tels me if I should reject the thought or not.
Brayden Lewis
I'm about your age and pretty much the same happened to me. The whole "kids don't need dads" meme must have been (((pushed))) pretty hard at the time, I wouldn't wholly blame your mum. In my case my dad had to take things to court assert his visitation rights and succeeded, so at least I got to see him. I was gaslighted pretty hard by mom into thinking he was evil and wasn't able to make an actual connection though. To this day our relationship is semi-estranged but that's got a lot to do with my autism as well.
If it makes you feel better, it's fairly common for people to have awful relationships with their dads and only realize they weren't so bad once they're gone.
Charles Morgan
I am just speaking generally, Females came before us, we evolved to be better at killing and that is our lot in life. I don't begrudge it but i understand your point of view that in the modernity we have been rendered down to just a replaceable part when the opposite is true for quality males.
