How do I stop seeking validation?
How do I stop seeking validation?
You don't need to be validated. You are good enough as you are.
Why does nobody in real life say or think that?
Seeking validation is natural. It's how you know you're not a piece of shit. You're probably upset about seeking validation because you're not very remarkable. Become more remarkable rather than disregarding validation. Or become a hermit I guess.
How many times have you said that to someone else?
Theres no saying this without sounding like a massive faggot but true validation comes from within. Start by knowing yourself and learning to accept who you are. Easier said than done, I know.
I think a good first step is learning to enjoy your solitude and being alone.
I think I enjoy being alone too much. I feel inadequate and scrutinize myself in every social situation, all the autistic shit I say/do, my awkwardness, etc. As a result I just isolate myself to avoid the shame, but it just makes me feel empty.
im very similar . i'm left with no one rn life kinda weird
that's a cute dog
try focusing on what you want to achieve personally maybe, find a goal that you'd want to achieve, something that genuinely interests you, that should probably take your mind off it
I can relate to that, although I'm not entirely alone anymore, for now
idk, let's be friends or some shit
How old are you?
Realize that the people around you are worse than you. It feels nice when people agree but it doesn’t matter if they aren’t qualified to understand the situation.
Doubt yourself and try to prove yourself wrong but if you can’t be proven wrong you’re valid.
19
There are very few things that fit that bill, so I end up spending most of my time just distracting myself with vidya/youtube/porn etc. Whenever I do try to pursue something I just give up because I'm not good at anything.
You provide it yourself to yourself. Know what you're worth. Be critical of your failings but give yourself praise where it's due. You must find the balance. If you dont tell yourself you're good enough, no one else will.
Your problem is not in seeking recognition itself, but towards whom you're directing it. Try to find a fixed goal (e.g. a role model in which you imagine trying to get recognized) and be committed to it.
mmm, yeah, I guess you have to be in the right mindset, and getting in that mindset kinda depends on external stimuli, so it sort of boils down to luck and the way your mind works, basically all the time you spend giving up and distracting yourself gets you further alone whaterver your life is going to be, and as long as you want your life to be something else and take advantage of opportunities to change its course in the direction you want, you will manage eventually
You can go and try following fortune cookie advice like and pretend you are happy with that OR you can actually do something with your life and make your own happiness. Seek a hobby and become good at it. Read books, make connections, work out. Make an effort to become the person you want to be.
>Seek a hobby and become good at it. Read books, make connections, work out. Make an effort to become the person you want to be.
And what do you do if you try all these things and still fail, and no one recognizes your efforts?
once you start on that path you'll stop caring about other peoples validation. it'll happen organically.
Just have patience and immerse yourself, and soon the only recognition you need will be your own.
This. You’ll always feel insecure or inadequate in social situations if you feel the same way when you’re alone with yourself. Having lots of friends and being liked by everyone wont mean shit if you don’t like yourself. Try anything necessary to become more comfortable with who you are, because even if people end up despising you you’ll still have your own clean conscience to comfort you. I’d say to constantly expose yourself to new things (both social things and things just by yourself) so you can begin this process. It’s hard to know much about yourself if you spend most of your time doing the same routine things that you’ve become comfortable with.
opinions obectively don't matter. Want to drink? do it. Want to dress in an uncommon way? do it. Want to be alone? do it. Want to jerk off to hentai? just do it
What people think about you talks about what is happening inside their minds, not about what's happening in yours.