How do I get over my hesitation and fear of rejection with women...

How do I get over my hesitation and fear of rejection with women? I have multiple opportunities frequently with women who flirt with me and compliment me, but I can't take advantage of those opportunities because I am terrified of making the first move

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In another thread the site: www.succeedsocially.com was recommended.

Same for me, minus the part with the multiple opportunities

Personally I gave up, but of course that doesn't mean you should do the same, everyone is different. Just bringing the opinion of someone who (MAYBE) had been in similar situations and/or felt similar feelings

I'm not generally bad socially though. I can speak to people, make friends, even with women. But when it comes to asking a girl on a date, going in for a kiss, even dropping a message to a girl on FB or tinder, I just find it impossible...

You do it anyways.

But I can't? No matter how hard i try i cant push "send" on a message, can't get the words out to say "do you want to hang out on X day", can't even go in for a kiss when a girl is rubbing up on my thighs and leaning in

A couple of times, when I just thought "Fuck being shy, let's do this" --- it worked for me. But, hey, a couple of times seven years apart of each other is not much. I hope it works for you at least the same number of times it worked for me!

Femanon here.
I just want you to know, we’re humans to. And I lot of us feel the same way. My advice to you is, just go for it! If she’s not interested that’s just a loss, but there’s a lot of girls out there. Even if it doesn’t feel like it now, there will be a girl super interested in you. :)

I just can't though. I've had some girls pretty much throw themselves at me, basically do everything except ask me out directly, and I still felt paralyzed. It's like even when I'm certain that I won't be rejected, I still have the fear of doing things wrong (being a bad kisser, being cringey when I ask her out, being bad at sex, being awkward on a date) which stops me from doing anything

Listen, you might feel that way but it’s probably just you giving yourself negative thoughts. We are all human and we all mess up, and when I said just go for it I really mean it. You really can’t fuck up a relationship because your a bad kisser or you said something embarrassing like one time.
Seriously user, I think there’s girls out there that like you. Take this as a message that you NEED to take chances.

maybe you could tell a friend and get them to push the send button for you

No but you aren't understanding me, I literally can't.

The worst experience I had like this was 4 years ago. I met this girl I had a massive crush on. We drank together a few times in my social circle of the time. Slowly I started to realize she might have a crush on me too. But I wasn't certain, she flirted a lot and did things like cuddling up to me on the sofa, but never actually came out and SAID she found me attractive or wanted to date me.

After one night drinking I ended up sleeping in the same bed as her. She spent the whole night slowly taking off more and more of her clothes, using the excuse that "it's too hot haha". She also kept cuddling closer and closer and stroking me, caressing me, at one point sitting up and staring me in the eyes lustfully. I knew she wanted me to go for it in that moment, but I just COULDN'T. I wanted to do it so bad but my body wouldn't let me. I just kept thinking "I'm going to be such a bad kisser, I have NO idea how to kiss, it will be terrible, and if she wants sex then I DEFINITELY don't know how to do that"

Since then I did kiss a few girls very drunkenly in clubs or at parties, but aside from that I'm a kissless dateless virgin. I don't know what to do. It feels hopeless for me, like I'll never overcome my fears

Just wanted to say I feel exactly the same, and people told me exactly the same things Femanon said.

In my view, there are some people who are more like me and you, and some people who are more like Femanon. Of course that's not a judgement on either "category" being good or bad, just a fact (imho)

>After one night drinking I ended up sleeping in the same bed as her. She spent the whole night slowly taking off more and more of her clothes, using the excuse that "it's too hot haha". She also kept cuddling closer and closer and stroking me, caressing me, at one point sitting up and staring me in the eyes lustfully. I knew she wanted me to go for it in that moment, but I just COULDN'T. I wanted to do it so bad but my body wouldn't let me. I just kept thinking "I'm going to be such a bad kisser, I have NO idea how to kiss, it will be terrible, and if she wants sex then I DEFINITELY don't know how to do that"

A-are you me?

Alright, after reading this I understand a little bit more. I think you should try to go to a therapist user, I think you have social anxiety or something like that. They might help you.

Read Otto Weininger

I definitely have anxiety. I don't know if it's social anxiety though because I don't struggle too much in social situations. Yes I get nervous or sometimes even shy, but I always manage to overcome any anxiety i feel socially.

I feel like I have specifically sexual anxiety and romantic anxiety, if those are classed as things. Because I have extreme anxiety specifically surrounding romance and sex which actually prevents me from doing things and taking opportunities that I really want to take. No one seems to have advice to help me with this. It doesn't work just telling me "talk to more girls" because I do that all the time, just talking to girls doesn't help at all in reducing my anxiety about kissing girls, asking girls on dates etc

I swear, it seems like I am reading my own thoughts.

How old are you user? I'm 28. They say it usually gets better with age, for me it actually went worse. But as I said before, everyone is different.

23

Fellow cursed guy here. Social enough, have girls crush on me, but can't for the life of me make a move, even when I was losing sleep over the girl.

Am not kissless, only because a chick did the unthinkable and ASKED, fed up after flirting heavily with me for a long time. "Flirting heavily" doesn't even make justice to how she behaved prior. I was basically forced to kiss as doing otherwise would be too lame.

I believe girls are a lot like us. As you've certainly observed, even when they want us from the bottom of their hearts, they stay put and root that we do something. The abnormal behavior from this rooting is called "hints" by society.

Our problem is most likely a general passivity. Or at least mine is, is that your case too? I'm a passive guy in different areas of my life, and dating is not excluded, so I tend to not act so things go the way I want, instead lamely going with the waves.

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Seriously apologize for the advice I gave you, but I didn’t know you had anxiety in a situation like that, I bet you hear what I said all the time when you open up about it. :/ Now that I hear it I understand more. I hope you have a goodnight sir.

>Our problem is most likely a general passivity. Or at least mine is, is that your case too?

Funny thing is, for me, no not really. In other areas of my life I tend to go for things with full determination when I want them. If people tell me "you can't do that" it also often motivates me more to do that thing, I get angry and want to prove them wrong.

So its even more depressing for me that I'm the exact opposite with romance and sex. I feel like rejection, or being a bad kisser/bad at sex, would be such a massive blow to my ego it would practically kill me

Really this. That's the biggest redpill of all which I've lost. You count to 3, stop thinking and go in.

I only had one fucking date and it only went well because I was either thinking purely positive or not at all. There was no fucking shyness or betaing or being insecure of my physique and crap.

3 days before was valentine's day and she was all like "heh...valentine's day". I did a fucking powermove: I wrote "you're not alone, honey :)" and after I sent it I fucking cringed my ass off in laughter with her not responding anymore. I tought i fucked up and excused myself the next day for being that quick but she said It was extremely cute.

I still cringe to this day but it is the sort of good cringe. This was 18 months ago.

The only options you have is to get wasted and get a hooker or talking to them sober beforehand about your problems. They often help khhvs in such situations or you come to the realization that sex is human, normal and nobody but you and some faggots who watched too much porn will judge you for fucking your 1st time up what 99% of the population do.

Did you have any traumatic childhood experiences by chance? Maybe go to a specialist? Jow Forums can't help everybody and especially not since Incels and discord trannies have infested this shithole.

And when this kind of answers come, that's when I close adv.

Good night everybody.

Bump

Please help.

>Even if it doesn’t feel like it now, there will be a girl super interested in you. :)

jesus, give the guy advice, not false hope

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