ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

You knew each other before ONS? If both of you are in a same circle of friends, then it's not as creepy, if not then it is. It also depends how did you two part ways.

not necesserily cheat on me, but just break my trust. imagine if your lover stabbed cats as a hobby but acted completely normal aside from that. this is still the person you love only now you're aware they are a horrible person and you still love them

What's the best way to get revenge on a guy who cheated on you? Like, how do you hurt someone who clearly cares nothing about you?

Slightly related to the above question, I suppose, but not quite. Hope this doesn't get lost as a vaguely similar question, cheating probably wont help me here.

Can a girl became a trophy wife if she is not stacy? I'm getting second degree, but all I want is a husband to take care of and kids.

I mean, that's more about lack of communication, isn't it? Assuming she was always a complete psychopath.

Kill yourself and blame him in your suicide letter

Yep.

I'm pretty much at that point, honestly. I am not pretty, probably a 5/10, no real "female assets", and dont have much going for me. I was an accountant.

Stumbled onto a guy through mutual interests, he struck gold with a dream job, and wanted me to quit work.

We haven't quite got that far yet, but only because we agreed to wait until we have some legal stuff in order, so I dont get screwed over by him randomly changing his mind.

Nice. I'll see what good suicide letters I can find.

Might just skip the country and show up elsewhere and try for a citizenship as a new person, make him believe I did that. Or not bother with the complex stuff and just do it, I've certainly been considering it lately.

is it true that women want a big strong man to take care of them? it seems kind of pathetic.

Sounds very reassuring, thank you! I hope everything will work out great for you two!

No, personally I like beating people.

She is a friend of a friend but lives like am hour or so from where i do. Maybe the 2nd time we have met, decent chance I would see her again but who knows when.

It seemed like a normal morning after a one? We both woke up hungover and drunk, talked and laid for a bit, smoked a bowl and she left. My phone was dead so I didn't get any contact info but was able to look her up on social media easy enough

Sorry, but I don't think he cheated on you because he is a bad person, I think he realized you are obsessive psycho. Move onwith your life, you stupid cunt.

It would be better to approach her when you meet, but if you don't want to wait for so long, messaging her on social media shouldn't be so bad, just don't act desperate and be as casual as you can.

You took this from 0-batshit pretty quickly.
I think there might have been a reason he didn't want to straightforward break up with you.
Or he likely had already tried...

>Hey! Im really flattered that you asked me for my number, it took me by surprise but in Reflection I probably shouldn't of given it out as I've just come out of a really long relationship and am not really in a place to be dating. Thank you for the compliment, you seemed like such a nice guy. Hope you have a great day

How should I take this? Should I maybe rethink how I approach? Maybe its how I text? The "seemed like such a nice guy" is a bit worrying for the user in my soul.

I responded with a short joke and something subtle to keep the door open.

dating or in a relationship?

Based on my experiences in dating:
>if she flirts with another guy on purpose to get my reaction when I'm not sure if I even like her yet
>see her on a date with another guy despite having another date coming with that girl myself
>pushing too far/too fast for sex and losing interest in me if I don't show it back when she does
>tell me about what issues she has and not being sure if I want to deal with that

This girl I've known for a couple of years and I had a falling out. She pretty much made me choose between her and my best friend, and since I love them both I couldn't choose so I "removed" myself, thinking that I'll either come back when timing is right or the time will never be right and we move on.

She reached out after 6 months telling me she wants to talk about improving our relationship but she's mad I left and she misses me a lot.

Apparently she's in love with me and has been all this time but I have a feeling like she's a bit too friendly with one of her new guy friends who she met since I left and I feel that if I don't date her, she'll just fall back onto that guy. The fact she already may have options makes me feel like I'm not that special to her and because of that I wouldn't want to date her. I feel that to her its something like "oh ok, well then I'll just get with this guy instead" and I'll just be dismissed like that.
If she fucked him or kissed some other guy while claiming she loves me and wants to "improve" our relationship, so technically on a break I would say? after she reaches out to me and I find out she did those things, am I right to find it hard to forgive her? we weren't dating prior to it, we already knew each other and then she just started treating me like I'm already with her, so we kind of skipped that process I imagine. But I don't know how to feel right now and if she was with someone throughout the break and now wants me back in her life, I feel a little betrayed and shitty she didn't reach out sooner before she fucked them

It seems like she tried to be nice and don't come out rude by saying simply no. She's just not into you. I don't know what exactly did you write to her, so I can't tell anything about "such a nice guy" part

I think she is planning a revange, or wants to get in relationship with you again so she can dump you and be a "winner" between you two

I spoke to her on the train, and there was a lot of laughing and contact, so I asked for her number and told her, afterwards and by text, that I'd be taking her out if I had time that weekend.

thats very specific for a guess. What makes you say that?

also, she seems to be more upset over me leaving than I am over leaving her. Sometimes when I'd post on social media she sees it and breaks the silence and randomly asks how I am. I feel she posts to get my attention too but I don't bite and I feel it makes her even more impatient and want to reach out.
We were too close a friends for her to plan any revenge on me I think, or if anything she knows I'm a "desirable" man so she's not doing me any favors by dating me because she knows what options I have and I told her about them so she knows there's competition on the same level as her.

You should have done it face to face. At last she gave you her real number, so maybe she just really wants some alone time. Don't approach her anymore, if she wants she can reach out herself.

No girl will be nice to a guy who just walked out from them, if she is not palaning a revenge.

If you are not in love with her, finding someone else will be better for you, even if she just wants to be with you she is not gonna forget anything and will always be bitter

>If you are not in love with her
I think about her every day and I feel she does too since we were technically never meant to speak again and she reached out and acted very nice in the last few times we spoke, except the last one where we agreed to talk about us, it was kind of a cold and quick conversation.

The timing of her pressuring me was terrible. She only broke up with her bf who was my friend at the time, and she only wanted to rush it because he already had fucked some other girl. But I lived with the guy and still do but we're not talking anymore and I'm moving out next month. So at the time it either meant being homeless for her since I'd have nowhere to move out to and he'd hate me, or I say no to her but I wouldn't actually mean it, and saying "hey, just wait a few weeks/months/years for me and we can be together ok?" just didn't seem like a good idea because what if the time was never right? just turned out that way that now it is and all of a sudden she reaches out. If she just wanted a rebound at the time, then why get in touch now after so long to talk about us? its not like she doesn't get male attention often, she does so I'm struggling to believe she isn't up to something because she is still single from what I know

If you really like someone and you get along with them and you seem to have chemistry, even though your lifestyles don't fully match but you can compromise. Is it normal to feel worried or have 2nd thoughts getting into a relationship with that person? I feel like its easy to talk to her and asking her if she wants to be with me and she's very likely to say she does, but I'm worried about committing for some reason. She would be my first relationship. Not my first date however

Give it a shot then? From this new information I can say she had a point, yes you were in a bad situation but I can understand how she felt. Why did she end relationship with her ex? You were her revenge or she genuinely liked you?

Why do you ask?

Exactly what are the issues that come up to mind when you are in doubts? think about them even if they became reality, if being with her can overshadow them, go for it.

I always go for skinnyfat guys who are my height or a bit shorter. I mean, I don't live in fear of violence from others so I don't feel the need to have someone strong as a boyfriend to protect me

I think it's that psycho bitch that wants revenge see

Curiosity. I talked to a guy recently who said his worst nightmare was a girl having a black (Male) friend, so I was curious what other weird things you guys might be able to reveal.

So far it seems it is all pretty obvious stuff.

the 3 of us were best friends essentially. He and I knew each other for 10 years but he ignored me for the last 3. Then he got with her and got in touch with me like nothing happened so I got back to hanging out with them weekly, then moved in with them and her and I became very close.

He's just new to relationships, very toxic as you can tell by him ignoring me (which he does again for some reason now, been about 4 months since we last spoke and we live together lol) and he is very resentful and too stubborn to change so he only pretends. And he has a ton of off putting habits. He would play games like 12 hours a day, not shower for weeks, then he just comitted his entire life to pleasing her and it was mostly a sex based relationship with them. I was the first guy to actually have a deeper connection with her. Then she was unhappy with him for a few months, then broke up and moved out. Then I tried helping them both out with the break up since I got caught in the middle of it by living with them and being close friends with them.
He eventually turned into a fuckboi and tried to get me to be like him. She started to fall in love with me and I was stuck with all this shit.

She was "courting" me for like a month and I tried to show I'm interested but I was conflicted and couldn't think of the right thing to do. So I left because she started to test me and get me jealous, mention dating other guys, she even told me she thinks she's a lesbian, to see if I care I think because she changed her mind the day after and told me intentionally. I understand she's upset and I'm sorry, but making me choose between the two of them at the time was impossible. Nothing felt like the right call and now in retrospect, I would've left again, it just didn't work until now but I don't know if we feel about each other the same way. I still love her but I don't know if she does, and I don't know if she just doesn't want to go back to being friends.

She is very popular with guys and my insecure retard brain tells me that if she ever wants to go clubbing (something she knows I hate) and if I let her go with her friends alone, I'm afraid she'll enjoy the attention too much and either kiss some guy or let him touch her. I don't think I'd be ok with that and she is the sort of person that doesn't make much of things like that until something bad happens so I feel like I'd be on edge all the time.

She is very close to her guy friends too, I think her past relationships with desperate guys who allowed her for too much, will translate onto me and I'd just have to tell her to address issues all the time which is not what I want to do, I don't want to chance someone to be more appropriate for me and I feel like if I find someone without those 'issues' then I'd just be in an easier, happier relationship.

But I never had a connection like do with her so I don't know if that isn't more important and we both find it easy to be honest and comfortable around each other and talk about everything. I just feel like she thinks I'm this perfect guy for her so she doesn't see issues with me, but there are things about her that worry me and I feel that for my first relationship, it'll be a lot to handle

I'm not going to explain the whole situation, but TL;DR his guy ruined my life, and then started cheating on me, and got me fired by sending stuff about me to my workplace that wasn't even true, just to make me a "homestuck girlfriend", so I realistically would not be able to leave. Hence the skipping country thing, so he doesn't just ruin whatever my next attempt will be as well.

I wasn't even completely against being home, even if it was a huge grind on our relationship that he got me fired when I wasn't keen on instantly quitting myself, but the cheating is the gut punch I'm not going to forgive.

Meet up with her and explain situation you were stuck in back then. Ask her if she moved on, if she is single then ask for a second chance, she made first step by reaching out for you

If she is open for communication you can be honest with her or go clubbing with her, even if you hate it, be in her social circle to keep an eye on her. It is tiring but at last it will help you see that she is only into you.

My best female friends moved in with this girl, I met her a little while back and felt like we had a connection of some sort etc. I’m back in town after a little while, and I mentioned to my female friends I was gonna ask her out. They got really excited because they really saw us together and thought she was into me.

Before I get a chance to talk to her they do, and she tells them she sees me as more of a friend.

I’m kinda pissed that they spilled the beans before I could do something myself. I feel like at this point it’d be silly to ask her out.

What do I do now? Besides move on. Would having a convo with her smooth anything over? I don’t want her being awkward around me because yesterday she definitely was.

It was a tuesday night when I met her. Not a great time for a date, but I actually ger what you mean. Better to organise in person when I have the benefit of whatever convinced her to give me her number when I asked.

What does it feels to be loved?
What does it feels to have someone care about you and putting you first before them?
What does it feels like to be in a relationship?

Is it just the same as having another family member like my parents/siblings, but someone i can also have sex with?
Am i missing out anything?

Also, would girls be even romantically interested in a 28 y/o kissless virgin with zero relationship experience?
Or will girls only see me as their backup plan to secure a stable family life?

You guys talk a lot about wanting a second chance, but I want your honest answer on this one:
>old friend, met when we were 4, friends throughout childhood, a brief high school stint apart, and we ended up together, mostly due to him
>I did not feel the spark, there was just too much "wrong", and I couldn't accept the life and career he was going for (travel a lot and work 80 hours a week corporate man), but he really wanted it to work.
>I broke it off, and after 5 years, he is much deeper into the corporate world, but has a management role in a company here, so much less travel, but still gone too much I know.
>he wants a second chance, but nothing has changed from my side, nor from his
He is a really good friend, and losing him the first time hurt, and I *would* want to spend time with him again, but as a friend. I dont think we'll work. If i give it a try, i will definitely force it as much as possible and try to give it a fair chance, but no matter how I look at it, I don't see how the outcome will change right now. I'm pretty sure it'll go well for a couple of years at best, and then it'll fall apart anyway.

Would you really want that? Would you really want a second chance, if you two just weren't meant to be?

I'm all for trying, but I dont want to risk making him mad at me for even bothering when I pretty much knew it wouldn't work in the first place.

Flirt with someone else so she can see, woman see man more attractive when they see competition, if you have conversation right now, you will look desperate. Don't entirely ignored her be just friendly but attantive, maybe tease her sometimes but flirt with someone else.

Next time you will be in similar situation you can set a date on a different day, or just tell after saving her number will she mind if you text her later to invite her for a coffee

Honestly?

Just don't. Completely cut the person out of your life. Don't talk to them, don't text them, don't even look at them.

I will be way more worth your time to move on and do something better instead of dedicating a large amount to time, energy and thought to a person who clearly doesn't care.

If they don't give you the thought, why should you give it to them?

Why did you wait for so long? but yeah I would still date you.

Lady, you're fucking bat-shit insane.

Girls, what's your honest opinion on trannies?

So, I am a girl but I despise the ideal “chad”, is it a complex of mine or its a normal thing? I had an authoritarian father, quite misogynistic too so when I see a “chad” he reminds me of him..my ideal boyfriend is a skinny intellectual guy nothing more, so no muscles/beard/charisma ecc

cheat
give me an std
take half of my stuff and my children and go away
talk to third parties about our sexual life
falsely accuse me of rape

women are scary

>second degree
>wants a husband
are you aware the more degrees you get the more your dating pool shrinks?

>I *would* want to spend time with him again, but as a friend. If you see him just as a friend it's better if you let him go, if you stay in touch he will still have a hope, meet him and explain that you have moved on.

100% this.

But why? Guys want to date me, but all of them are not in a mindset of wanting children, so I just avoid them.

When you want Chad, you go for Tyrone or Salam.

I know your kind. Investigate your feelings about your father and the different embodiments of masculinity. You should seek a man you trust, cherish and intuitively understand. That's the man that can become YOUR "Chad," and I personally think that's a very healthy approach to romance.

I'm bi, if person had a surgery I would probably be afraid to have sexual intercorse with them, I think that I'm hurting them.

>talk to third parties about our sexual life
D.. does it matter how and with whom?

I tend to get really giddy and in need to talk to someone when I'm crazy about a guy, but I only do it with my sister. It is never negative stuff either (might be funny things too, occasionally)

>be me, 39 yr old asian, 168cm, in good shape because I do sports and take care of myself
>I look young, people say 28-30
>live in europe so I'm not at all asian culturally
>traveled alone this month, stayed in hostel, I just broke up so I wanted to find peace
>met a cutie in Vienna, she's an art student
>we hit it off, we hung out for 3 days and kissed

should I tell her I'm hitting 40 next year?
I'm going back in 2 months just to see her

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I'm assuming you are in your late 20's to early 30's, if you are older than this, that's way worse.
Unlike women, men around those ages aren't "desperate" to have children/start a family, the ones that do probably already had it. And even then, most of us would like to date a couple of years before considering having children.
Men probably would start considering starting a family a little bit later than that, mid 30's or older. By that time, they are economically stable and a women their age with a degree and also economically stable brings nothing to the table and realistically a women 10 years younger can at least offer more years of beauty to the man.

I think your best bet, is to go for men way older than you and want to start a family, but again, you will competing with 18 to 25 yo women that in the eyes of most men are more appealing than a woman in her early 30s with 2 degrees.

Thanks user, I tried to understand him all my life but he’s just a narcissistic man who lived all his life with only one point of view, he doesn’t care what others say...my biggest fear is to end up like my mother and living a shitty life with a man that will manipulate me to isolate myself, that’s why the first thing that I look in a guy is his mindset and personality. Beauty/height/charisma are not everything ladies. Be careful out there

as I see it that shit should be private.
You are only telling one person, but that person would also tell to one person and so on.

She is a college student man.. what do u like about her, its not just beauty, right?

I just turned 24, I still have to go for older man by your logic?

is dating a close friend a good idea?
I'm unsure about it. She seems to be into it but despite her being one of my favorite people I've met, I'm having a hard time thinking it'll work. I'm afraid we wouldn't be able to have sex or something like that because we're so close. Or that she may just want to fuck and then it'll sour the friendship. I've known her for a little over 1 year but we became very close very fast. We're both surprised how good the connection was but now I'm finding out she's in love and I don't know if our friendship was built on that crush that developed and thats why she is so easy to get along with. I always thought of us as friends but now I'm starting to question it, whether we were ever just friends and she wasn't just close to me because she liked me and if I reject her, she'll start treating me worse

>I'm afraid we wouldn't be able to have sex or something like that because we're so close.

Humans historically lived in villages of at most a few thousand people and married at the third-cousin level, I don't think her being a childhood friend would harm your relationship.

it depends on how attractive you are and how soon you want children.

Men don't want to settle down at 24, and if they are well enough to settle down they probably already had a stable partner in the first place so they are out of the question.
Maybe dating someone that doesn't want children now but might want them on the future, but that as a gamble.
And again, who are you going to date?
Would you be willing to date people without 2 degrees? what about one without no degrees?
You need to understand that men don't see women in their same social-economical status (or higher) as appealing as the ones below them, this intensifies the higher the social-economical status is.

Tell her you want serious relationship and ask her if she is ready,

How much in a relationship are you willing to forgive because there is potential for change...

...and what will you not forgive because it isn't just an issue that can be fixed but some major habit or psychological problem?

>it depends on how attractive you are
I'm not stacy but guys find me attractive and interesting, at last ones from my age category.

>and how soon you want children.
Every time I do assignment or sit in the class I know I would rather be at home taking care of a kid and husband.

>men don't see women in their same social-economical status (or higher) as appealing as the ones below them, this intensifies the higher the social-economical status is.

because of their insecurity?

not her appearance that attracts me, she loves travelling, art, history, good music and such,
we met at a café in the morning, she started the conversation, I was enjoying the sunlight
I liked talking to her,
for example we sat at Heldenplatz and talked about Hitler for 2 hours.....

>potential for change...
Explain potential for change first

>are you physically attracted to her?
>you two want the same thing? (being couple or just casual)
>can you be yourself around her?

if you tick all the boxes, go for it

Dude, as soon as I read the first question, I immediately thought NOPE! In my experiences with close guy friends and trying to date any of them, it was either immediately shot down, which immediately tore apart the closeness of the friendship, or it worked for a while, then when things went away, there was no way to salvage the friendship either. Maybe once in a blue moon people can date, break up, and TRULY stay friends, but 9.5 times out 10, when the romance ends, so does the friendship. Especially with us women, it seems that once the romance ends, you guys no longer exist to us. I'm sorry, it's just how fucked up most of us women are. I hate to sound negative, but in my opinion, especially as a woman, if you truly like being around the lady and having her friendship, then I wouldn't risk it by trying to take things any further. I truly hope you find the one for you, though.

My friend and I weren't in touch for awhile then she reached out to figure out what we can do about our relationship. It started off as friendship, then got romantic but neither of us were ready for a relationship so we parted ways. Now things are better and I think we're both ready. She was the one to reach out. Is there any hope in this case then?

yes to all 3, and I think I'm the first guy that let her be herself around him

pretty much, that's what hypergamy is all about.

You wouldn't want a relationship with a socio-economical status lower than yours, would you?

Like if she smokes too much you can ask her to tone it down a bit. If you hate people that smoke. Or if she hangs out with dodgy people, you could ask her to stop seeing them because they might get her into shit

Something thats hard or impossible to change I would say goes under being stubborn, too proud and affecting the relationship because of it. Being stubborn makes you argumentative and even if you're wrong you drill the same point until you win or you make both of you unhappy. These sort of things.
Another example would be continuous cheating, after the 2nd time you'd think there is an issue that can't be fixed

>late twenties, in post-NEET struggle
>girl does near everything to get me to ask her out
>year later, one date and it went nowhere, then after a month she blocks me
>comes out of nowhere asking whats up, i just say fuck it ask her out again and she says ok

ok WHAT do I do now? what happens on dates? I used to really like her all things considered but I was pushing myself hard to stop caring and move on, but then I asked her out, and the two thoughts are conflicting hard. Any advice? Thoughts?

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I highly doubt she would, but I see the concern. Hmm, I just always feel like I need to get it out of my system or it just distracts me so much.

not the user you are replying to but in my case i couldn't see pass things that I just consider stupid decisions, for example:
>tattoos
>cutting marks
>overweight
>cheaters
>drug use
>piercings
>rode the cc
I wouldn't even consider a relationship with someone that matches any of those.
Only thing I might be willing to overlook is maybe someone being overweight, as long as they were working on it by the time that I met them.

You'll have to be more specific, but as general rule, a relationship won't change people specially if it just started.

why is she waiting over a year?

no experience, too busy getting out of NEET at incredibly high speeds due to impending family/finance issues, mental health issues everywhere, took me that long until I realized asking out at least this particular girl is not that hard

I am also a little concerned about how responsible I have to be for her feel feels because I am a good few years older.

no, I mean, why is SHE waiting for you?
no one has asked her out in a year!?
if it's the case, there's something wrong

....what could be wrong? we've had on and off chats but you're right, what were you thinking

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there is the fact that there is something about her that would make some men really insecure being around her, I don't mind, but other than that I don't know.

At last I would seek my equal

>you could ask
It would't work even on minor things, makings someone drop smoking is hard, telling them not to go out with certain people will be perceived as manipulative

I've noticed that a lot of the woman that I want to date are we there in long-term relationships or already have a boyfriend.

Is there a way to date a woman who's already in a relationship? Because most of the single woman out there who I see tend to be fucking trash.

Hey! So if you’re attracted to women in a relationship, maybe that’s an indicator that you’re not actually ready for a relationship. Your mind is picking up on cues that someone isn’t reciprocating your attraction/is unavailable, making them a safe person to like. You can want things with them but because it will never go anywhere, your attraction doesn’t make you vulnerable. You never have to face rejection, nor do you have to face the possibility of success and all the resulting changes.
If you find single women to be “fucking trash”, maybe you need to work on your perception of women, or change your social group. Obviously there are terrible people in relationships and amazing people out of relationships- the only real difference is either your selection bias, or your surroundings.

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I always assumed that you can almost sense if someone is a trashy person and they're just going to be cheating on you or whatever in a relationship so you naturally avoid it.

But has anyone ever been with someone who was terrible in a relationship that initially seemed like a great person? what happened?

I used to like this girl when I was a teenager, she seemed to be much like me and liked me. Then few years later she's already with a different guy but she cheated on him multiple times and he's aware of that. Once she slapped my ass at a party when her bf was in another room and she was obviously flirting with me later on in front of him so I knew what she wanted. I was fooled by her and didn't know what she was really like. Kind of scared now.