Curious

How are you all doing?
How is life treating you?
Good or bad?
How do you feel in these times, both personally and broadly?

Seems to me like there’s a lot going on in the world.
A ton of change coming.
Wondering how we all are doing and feeling.

For me there’s a lot of changes.
Picking myself up, making efforts to fix some things I don’t like about myself that have been going on for years.
Feels great, but it gets harder as I think I get better.
Really daunting, but there’s a spark of confidence that wasn’t there before.
Kinda scared though that I can’t endure what’s to come, but I’d rather go forward than stay where I’ve been.

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I'm ok I guess,
University is doing like always and it's not very interesting either. I don't have a gf right now, but that isn't important. I'm single since april. I always felt something was wrong, but I got diagnosed with bipolar two months ago and I start to notice patterns in my behavior. Kinda sucks being a slave of your shitty hormone system, but I think I'm gonna deal with it for the rest of my life

Right now my nose is killing me

I want to start socializing with random people but I can’t do it, my brain won’t let me relax around them. I say hello and small shit but I’m so nervous I just leave it at that and give up. It’s all so tiresome.

Just finished high school, found out I won’t go to uni and I am basically becoming more and more hopeless as my friends go to uni while I stay at home alone with no expectations for the future. Should I just get out of my parents house and do something? To go where tho and will they accept it, clearly no...shoul I just kill myself for revenge? Fuck I am a coward. I just hate them, that’s the only certain thing for now

Same

Nothing seems to be going well at the moment. I'll at least know in two months if i still have my dream job or not -which is what i was banking on after graduating. My girlfriend is losing interesting in me and she is literally the only person who i could ever see myself marrying. Right now i'm applying for bullshit jobs hoping to get more money while focusing on studying for the GMAT.

So i'm currently feeling so alone and just incapable of feeling good. I just hate being such a disappointment.

In school
Getting career squared off
I may die and be in shit but I won't leave everyone behind on the will of a fucking retail worker.

I'm surviving. My personal life is fine, but my professional life kinda sucks. Against my better judgement, I took a job that I didn't really want in the first place, and now I'm struggling trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing. It's also starting to spill over into my personal life.
I applied to another job nearby that would be much better, but I can't count on getting that, and if I don't, I might not have the opportunity for another 4-9 months. It helps me if I just view this job as doing one of two things: it'll either help me get a better job that I enjoy, or it'll push me all the way towards changing careers entirely. Either would be preferable to doing this for another year though.

2019 has been wild. I've had hopes and dreams crushed, experienced total rejection/failure in the areas most important to me, opportunities have been shut down, my family has been dragged into situations nobody should have to deal with, I found a journal from 15 years back and I'm nowhere near reaching my goals for 5-10 years ago, I'm catching up with old friends and all of them have their lives together so I'm wondering where I messed up, it's actually been a decade since I've seen a doctor as I haven't been able to afford insurance or get a job that provides it, and it feels like for each step forward in something I want to pursue I'm knocked 2 steps back diagonally by something out of my control.

This was the year I planned for things to stabilize and work out for once, but instead it's been a year of unprecedented shaking and change and from factors out of my control. There's still 3 months left before I say 2020 will redeem 2019, however 2020 is also the year my top lifelong dream dies. It makes me wonder why we even have aspirations when it all boils down to luck to reach those goals anyway.

On the positive side, I've learned some good lessons from each situation, grown as a person, had opportunities to help/encourage others, and really solidified what's important and what's not in my life. So it hasn't been a total loss, but its frustrating to see my dreams fall apart no matter how much I try to keep them together.