Why do women view being desperate for a partner as unattractive to begin with?

Why do women view being desperate for a partner as unattractive to begin with?

As a guy I literally don't care if a woman acts desperate due to loneliness as long as she's a decent person. I also don't care about confidence and find a lack of it relatable.

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For the same reason why most guys don't like sluts.
If you'd go for everybody, you wanting me makes me feel a lot less special. I want my partner to think I'm the ultimate shit.

I wad going to explain it, but it's better if you see for yourself. Make a grindr, I'm not kidding. See what happens, it will make you so much better at dating.

Because it signals you aren't looking for a person of female form to love but for just anyone who can fill the void mommy left. It signals that you don't care about thema as person but about their function (e.g. having sex).

You either get stuck with a clingy little baby or they will leave you the moment they meet a better replacement.

It's the same with needy girls really.

I can't relate to this honestly. First of all, it sounds incredibly narcissistic. Secondly, a good chunk of people around me already think I'm the ultimate shit and I've had impostor syndrome ever since I started publishing. I'd want a girl who would still like me regardless of whether I'm a badass or not/someone I'd feel safe being vulnerable to, not someone who has an inflated opinion of me.

Most guys are more likely to find sluts unattractive because of STD risk, and perceived poor impulse control to sex drive ratio meaning lower likelihood to stay faithful.

I did. Didn't care much about actual sex due to not being gay but ended up making several friends that way. Found it far less dysfunctional than any of the straight apps, which is supported by the fact that gays (who predominantly meet up via Grindr at this point) have a substantially lower divorce rate than the straight or lesbian population.

I literally don't understand. Might be a personal preference, but I *want* a partner who opens up to/depends on me and I don't mind a bit of clinginess as long as it doesn't escalate into stalker territory if the relationship ends.

>I literally don't understand...
Sure but that's healthy bonding. Desperate people don't care about the person they date, really any person is fine that meets their criteria for replacement-mommy/daddy. And they either become totally dependend or they only stay until they meet someone meeting even more of their criteria. There is no real bonding or interest in you as person there.

>really any person is fine that meets their criteria for replacement-mommy/daddy.
>they either become totally dependend

I don't know, to me this sounds a lot like when conservatives threaten you with a good time. A cute insecure girl bonding to me and calling me daddy sounds endearing to me, not the other way around.

I can see some scenarios where it could get unhealthy/dysfunctional, but that would be more for the person being cared for if they bond to the wrong person or get trapped into patterns of self-harm.

I think that a big part of the issue here is that we're simply not being conditioned to care for men. I don't know to what extent it may be biological and to what extent it's societal due to societal expectations that men should be self-reliant.

>A cute insecure girl bonding to me and calling me daddy sounds endearing to me, not the other way around.
To me it sounds like daddy issues.

The problem with this sort of person is that you have a double role as caretaker and partner. Like one role isn't enough, this is going to cause additional trouble. Because desperate people tend to switch between these two roles at their convenience. I.e. you are having an argument and they are losing it, so they suddenly turn into the toddler you can't hurt.

I doubt this is an gendered issue. There are many clingy and desperate girls too. Caring for your partner and their issues is a sane thing but having an adult child which won't bug out of that role isn't.

If you're desperate, it signals that youre the last head of lettuce in the store (ie. no one wants you). Women care a lot about social approval and if you're desperate it likely means you have none. It isnt fair and the last head of lettuce is usually just as good as any other; it's just human nature.

Because women are incapable of feeling any sort of empathy towards men. If they actually cared, they would make sure that no man feels lonely because it's the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Then women are also surprised when these lonely guys lash out at them, kek.
Everything is balanced in nature.

How is not wanting to date a guy the same as not caring about him at all?

Well, she could help him get a gf if she doesn't want to date him. Girls probably wouldn't even notice if 80% of men died tomorrow because they only go after top 20% Chads.

but then someone desperately needs lettuce, looks at the last one and is incredibly happy they could find it

I mean I hate to say it but women aren't responsible for helping you find love even if they are your friends. Finding love is a combination of working on yourself and your goals constantly and interacting with people in a proactive way, while screening for the right fit. That's not something somebody can do for you.

Fair enough, but women shouldn't act surprised then if they become victims of the male rage. Ultimately, females are the reason these incel shootings happen, because they choose which males are granted the access to their vaginas and which are not (unless they get raped, hehe).

he's a troll, sweetheart.

Yeah, I'm such a troll for bringing light to the male suffering. Fuck off.

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>women shouldn't act surprised if men get angry and kill them out of spite because said women wouldn't sleep with them

I'm technically an incel myself and even I think your attitude is terrible.

Men don’t suffer. Grow up

i'm guessing you're a newfag. the point is for him to get a reaction out of you so you'll give him those sweet, sweet (you)s
just don't reply, even if he's for real he isn't worth talking to

Maybe you feel that way because you've become docile due to years of brainwashing at school and the shit being shoved down our throats through the media. I grew up in a rough environment, so I have different morals and ethics.

On a biological, evolutionary level, a woman never really experiences I guess what you could call "sexual lonliness." She is always in an advantageous position over her male counterparts. Men, on the other hand, are naturally designed to be desperate for a partner.

If a woman cant find a partner, it is BECAUSE she is likely an awful person to be around. If a man cant find a partner, his personality is only part of the story. He has to compete with all other males. It's a reason why men are naturally competitive. If a man is not, thats just another undesirable trait attacked against him. And let's even say he is competitive, but just not of very high quality. Maybe he is ugly or fat or lazy. As much as we like to pretend personality is ALL that should matter in a mate, we ignore real science at our own peril.

Tl;dr, women and men are different and serve different roles.

I like to give benefit of the doubt. You just never know.

It's more like I realized I'm not attractive, and it's little wonder women don't like me. I hope to make informed improvements on this so women want to fuck me, because that would be one of many ways to make me happy.

Displaying value. Which seems kind of evil, but is really just because people like to feel like they got a good deal. Like ... nobody wants to be with somebody who nobody else wants and who isn't that bothered about being in a relationship anyway. Ideally everybody wants to be with your partner and your partner is desperate to be with you because you get that max status combo meta game shit. People look at you like some kind of god because you've secured the desirable person and they are committed to you, it makes you look and feel good. Also a lot of people, not even just women are fucking brain dead sheep who just look at what is popular and go 'me too!'

Because you shouldn't be comfortable wallowing in substandard negativity.
Confidence isn't just for Chad and Stacy. It's for people who want to graduate beyond retail work. It's for people who want to network out of their constant routines. It's for people who try new things, make new experiences and memories, and people who believe you're allowed to stand up for yourself even if people are going to side-eye you for it. It's about knowing your dignity's worth, and why that's important.

Putting together two people who are just thirsty for a way out of solitude is begging for drama. Besides which, desperation predicating a relationship is more likely to cause the issue where neither side can communicate clearly and effectively because both sides are afraid of 'losing' the other, but don't realize clear communication is a requirement for a healthy relationship.

Desperation for relationships is like ordering fast food to eat. Sure, it IS food; but you and I both know there's a hell of a lot more to 'food' than 'is edible.'
'Is willing' (and while we're at it, 'is a decent human being') is a baseline requirement for my relationships and it's not a feature I consider to be something that pulls me to someone. I was pulled to my girlfriend because she always strives to understand the truth, isn't afraid to defend herself and doesn't need shitty mind games to carry a debate or get her point across. Hell, she's more direct than I am in most cases.

Honestly it's the other way around. I think certain men just display very attractive characteristics that make more than just one or two women like them at once. I know a lot of girls who get upset when the guy they like talks to other women, they don't understand or simply can't handle the fact that the guy they like is probably liked by others. It's the same with men, and it's why you hear the phrase "if you think she's hot, so do a bunch of other dudes".

If it is like ... I'm desperate for a partner you aren't even qualifying the other person as anything other than an interchangeable partner. You should want to be with somebody because you view them as a complete person. Being all a partner will do, any one of them really, I'm desperate means you aren't confident enough to choose somebody.

When I was younger I felt I owed anybody who expressed interest in me the time of day. This is because I was insecure and not sure of my own value. I was worried about being alone, I was worried that I'd look bad rejecting people or not being with somebody. I thought I'd look better if I was with somebody, anybody, especially somebody new at all times.

It wasn't until my mid 20's when I was able to be all 'look, I'm flattered, but pease fuck off. I don't like you and have no interest in you'. A little later I was able to have proper friendships with the opposite sex. friendships where I had boundaries defined by getting and giving exactly what I wanted and no more.


Men shit on women for being attracted to a small minority of attractive guys and guys try and come up with all this theory to explain why it is wrong, but can be understood and planned for, but have you stopped to listen to how guys talk about and are drawn to a small minority of very attractive women? It is like men expressing their sexuality is normal, but women doing the same is shocking and repulsive. Look at those sluts, falling over themselves to flirt with that hot dude, fucking women. Dude check out that girls ass, oh fucking hell man I'd smash, here shit lets all of us fall over ourselves to flirt and basically do everything for her so we can be around that fantastic ass a little longer.

Correct, most men only care about very attractive women.

The reason is if you're desperate it means you have other personal issues, usually related to clingy. What you really want is company and friends can help you fill that space. Find friends and then date when you feel good enough with your own life.

You will probably never feel really good if you are getting older and still didn't figure out how to set up a romantic relationship.

There are plenty of men turned off by desperation in women. Women like to feel special, not just a hole to fill.



seriously, I can't just wait to start dating until I'm 30 and maybe have a halfway-reliable social circle like people here say

All they are is holes though.