I feel so helpless. My best friend has been through all sorts of trauma ever since she'd been a child. Child abandondment and divorce, neglect from family, child molestation/rape, money struggles all her life, harassment, false rumors, bullying, "friends" screwing her over, you name it. She's severely suicidal and can't go through a day without thinking of doing it. And I feel so helpless, tied up unable to do anything. Her family had been handled an eviction notice because they've been unable to pay rent for the past two months and he has already spoke to court meaning they will get into legal trouble. College is coming soon and they have no idea where to bring money to provide for her tuition (only way not to fail at life in this country, even after education you need to be extremely lucky to find a job). I really don't know what to do. Life jusy keeps getting harder on her and I feel so helpless. I just want to cover her with hugs and warmth but life doesn't want to go easy on her.
My best friend is depressed and suicidal and I'm so helpless
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Get her into therapy asap.
Drag her outside for exercise in the sunshine.
user her mum can just barely afford food on the table and drowned in debt just for basic needs. Therapy is something we agree could maybe help her but it's not even popular in our country, we don't know how safe it is, but it's not affordable at all.
Are you being sarcastic now...
I have been disappointed to wake up every morning since I was 13. Every moment of life is excruciating and worthless.
I’ve always felt that if somebody knew what I was going through we could help each other. Do you think your friend would talk with a rando for support? When I get to the point I start thinking of a “way out”, I feel the only thing that will help is to cry out to somebody.
Do you have Kik or ?
Not that user, but sunshine and exercise will actually help her.
Sorry, but are you a girl?
She's pretty athletic. She doesn't like the sun but I try to see her as often as I could and only go out if she feels like it. I hope it would be helpful. But at the end of the day there's always... Something waiting. Do you know what I mean?
Sorry I’m not v.v but I don’t like to talk to guys about my problem because they believe depression is just a mood.
This is my life. I could win the lottery and still have the apprehension of what I’m going to do once the money is gone. I can never enjoy the moment because I’m worried about what I’m doing as far ahead in the future as I can imagine. There is NO peace in my head EVER
Im not at all. Get her outside for even a 20 minute walk most days of the week. Get her to drink more water, and unfuck her diet. She’ll be fine, but she needs your help.
You’re going to die. Make peace with this now and not on your deathbed.
Your life will be over before you know it.
I honestly can’t wait. I hope the reason I can’t smell and have poor recollection is due to something malignant. The best news I could get would be that I have two weeks to live right now. I’d request that we move that date up ASAP
Man I'm really sorry, it's hard to explain to a foreigner but it's not exactly acceptable to just "chat" with non-related males in our culture.
But to be honest with you I kind of found that when she gets close to depressed people she doesn't feel better because they have some sort of "competition" mindset. When she vents to them they somehow make it about them and how they must have it worse. I know you're probably not like that but that's how her experience had been.
Sucks. I always wished somebody would listen. I feel like somebody like me would help fix me and I’d fix them.
I read the article. Thank you for your advice, although I think these are things meant to help privileged people who may have otherwise nice lives had it not been for their choices to isolate themselves. My best friend doesn't have a poor diet and is physically active but it's other things that make her life so scary. I will try to spend more time outdoors with her.
Thank you. I appreciate you wanting to help her. She's my most important person.
bump. please anyone who is going through something similiar help me.
>when she gets close to depressed people she doesn't feel better because they have some sort of "competition" mindset
I know exactly what you mean. I have trauma in my childhood too I would say it isn't as bad as OP's but nevertheless trauma is trauma it all effects you. First of all I think she needs to leave her family behind as hard as that will be. It is ultimately what I have done and now i feel that I have the ability to get better now that I am on my own. As far as the financial concerns...well for one college is not everything maybe there are alternatives but also maybe she doesn't need as much stuff as she thinks? Obviously she needs to make enough to survive but if it comes down to suicide or living it would make sense to sacrifice some stuff to achieve that. As far as the emotional issues I think you need to keep being supportive for her be a good friend let her know you care about her and want her to succeed. That will be very helpful but also make sure she sees in herself that she is valuable because otherwise she might dump all of her problems onto you and if you ever separate it will be devastating.
I am and I tried.
People in our position just wish somebody would understand us.
I had a friend from high school that I met again like 5 years after. Knowing she was always depressed I began meeting with her in person. We motivated each other to push through boundaries and apathy. We improved each other and picked ourselves up from rock bottom. Then she started taking SSRI’s and now she’s an uncommunicable zombie. It’s like watching your sibling die of cancer