Here we go again

Get in there man.

>samefagging pessimism 4 times in a row
>i-i'm not sperging

How high do rank sex in general?
What do you think about the female human body in specific? Do you perhaps find it disgusting or holy?

Do you like your own naked body, purely from a personal, subjective point of view?

>How high do rank sex in general?
High
>What do you think about the female human body in specific? Do you perhaps find it disgusting or holy?
Holy I think
>Do you like your own naked body, purely from a personal, subjective point of view?
I hate everything about me so much in fact I can't go at the beach (feel like I don't have the right to go because I'm ugly), can't look at pictures of me so I never take or turn my all photos upside down and want to murder the dumb disgusting stupid awful kid (me) I see in the photos, hate my voice and really have a big trouble looking my self at the mirror.

>really have a big trouble looking my self at the mirror.
To continue that's why I'm always well shaved, was my teeth again and again, chew mint gums before going in a place with many people, always am as good dressed and clean as I can use a lot of deodorant etc so I'm a little less disgusting and people won't throw up and hold their noses when I'm around them

It's insecurity to be fair
Maybe I'm a little crazy

How the fuck are you still a Virgin at 39? You’re like Steve Carrell in 40 Year Old Virgin lmao

Slightly worse.
He wasn't leaving in the basement.
He had a hobby (collecting figures)
And he almost scored and had his dick sucked in college (my university experience was a bigger failure than you can possibly imagine)

I guess even on Jow Forums my kind is uncommon

I meant living
Sorry, I have an issue where I think of one word and spell another

Honestly just make a POF and Tinder account and say “You’re a Virgin Looking For love” in your bio. Girls will think that’s sweet/cute and have pity sex with you

>I hate everything about me so much in fact blah blah blah
See, you're wrong.

First of all, I refuse to believe you are THAT ugly. There is no real "ugliness". There are "ugly" people who are actually attractive, simply because they have confidence and they use that confidence to carry their face around. Watch how many ugly sons of bitches are accompanied by attractive women. Try to explain why they are actually ugly or to convince anyone they are; you can't, because they can play around their appearance. Unless you are the Elephant Man, I refuse to believe this is impossible for you (you can't be the Elephant Man if women feel that comfortable near you)
You need to redefine your relationship with yourself ASAP. Find traits of yourself that are similar to those "ugly"-yet-confident people and identify with them. Who are we kidding here, you're not fucking ugly, end of story.

Once you get this through your admittedly thick skull, we can move on with the rest regarding the female body, sex, etc.

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I can't afford to lose the job I have now.
I'm pretty sure HR will find me when they find identifiable information on dating sites, especially info that prove that I'm a virgin.

But I believe it.
I'm ugly.
Probably is some kind of conditioning because I could never afford to make a mistake when I was young and when I did I had to regret it real bad.
But I can't help it.
I feel like a hack fraud.
If I have one good quality about me it's my stubbornness.
I never quit even if all hope is lost.
Although often this is my downfall because I end up trying difficult stuff which sometimes I fail and even when I succeed against all odds I still feel like a failure but very tired and even more despaired.

Bro why would you lose your job for that? That literally makes no sense. Make the profile, and I can help you send messages/give you pickup lines to fuck girls. Trust me, I’ve fucked hundreds of girls and am 25

I'm pretty sure they don't hire virgins with dating site profiles

>I never quit even if all hope is lost.
Are you willing to stubbornly believe you are a handsome, beautiful person and not quit, even if all hope is lost?

You might have impostor syndrome.
Have you ever talked to a psychologist about this? It's not something you need meds for or anything, but a disinterested expert's advice often helps.

Also, you should make an effort to actively seek human touch. Whether you are willing to believe it or not, you deserve it as much as the next guy. There are people who get human warmth even though they are actually frauds, like with a record. Why not you, who hasn't even done anything?

Whatever faggit stay a Virgin then. Bitches like virgins and think that’s cute. You’re just being a beta fag. Your job doesn’t give a fuck and won’t find your dating profiles

Ok.. suppose I open the profile.
Do I use my real name?
What do I write for place of residence?
And the most difficult.. HOW DO I UPLOAD A PHOTO OF ME???

Jesus Christ how are you 39 and acting like this?
>make tinder
>follow the steps
>write a bio about yourself
>find girls
>????
>profit
Tinder is such a simple app you can go on a date with a 20 year old just because you're so old.

>Are you willing to stubbornly believe you are a handsome, beautiful person and not quit, even if all hope is lost?
No, that's too much
>You might have impostor syndrome.
No, I'm not an autist or sperg either
>Have you ever talked to a psychologist about this? It's not something you need meds for or anything, but a disinterested expert's advice often helps.
It helped but here I am again so it didn't.
May have to resume when things get a bit easier since I have an income now
>Also, you should make an effort to actively seek human touch.
You can't believe how much I like when others outside family, especially women outside family, touch me
>Whether you are willing to believe it or not, you deserve it as much as the next guy. There are people who get human warmth even though they are actually frauds, like with a record. Why not you, who hasn't even done anything?
I'm a virgin so clearly I'm the worst person

>make tinder
>follow the steps
Ok up to here
>write a bio about yourself
You think I can write something good about me? I can't. Writing a CV for job was hard enough, I don't know how I managed.
>find girls
How?
>????
>>profit
I need help

Can I have a tinder without a Facebook or a photo?
What should I write?
Do I have to install on the phone?

Please help me write a bio.
I'm not good in that fake shit.

Shut the fuck up, nobody cares that you're a virgin, it's just you.

Dude wtf?? You seem actually frightened if everything. Especially if woman are doing what you said in your OP to you they WANT to fuck you. I never get flirted with like that damn. I'd hit it so fast if a girl was doing all that to me.

Yes I'm frightened.
I'm not allowed to fail.

Why? Dude seriously if I was getting girls doing what they did to you in the OP good God would I go to town. It's been like...2 years almost for me since I got my heart smashed and my ability to not be frightened myself is back. If a girl likes you you don't need to be afraid. All the work has been done already. You don't have to get her to want to fuck you she already does.

No you see I'm not well adjusted something is seriously wrong with me and this thing scares me shitless

You need a phone for tinder. Make a Facebook account and only use that for tinder.
First your bio, write some stuff about yourself. Make it neat, don't express your hobbys if it's cringe (video games, browsing reddit, watching TV, etc...) If you have nothing lie and say you like walking outdoors and drinking wine.
Put up 5 good photos of yourself. Two should be a selfie, one with a group of friends, and the other two could be an old photo or you with a dog.
Once that shit is done you start swiping right on cuties. You can waste your time reading their bios but my rule is only read the bios of girls you match.

>Put up 5 good photos of yourself.
I don't have one
>Two should be a selfie,
Impossible
>one with a group of friends,
I don't have friends, much less a group of friends
>and the other two could be an old photo or you with a dog.
Never had a dog

If I had all these I wouldn't be a virgin.

Youre either underaged or hopeless. Go into the bathroom and take a picture of yourself, then outside and do it again with a different shirt. Ask your co-workers for a group photo to show your grandmother.

I'm 39 so hopeless
>group photo from work on tinder
That's a sure fire way to get my ass fired and get back to being a neet
I can't afford being a neet

I'm 37 and getting there.

>women talk to me
>women touch me
>women feel comfortable enough around me to joke with me
>she grabs my hand as she laughs feeling her breath on my arm
They obviously like you enough.

>That's a sure fire way to get my ass fired and get back to being a neet
Why would you get fired? What the hell is your job? Full-time beta fag?

>They obviously like you enough.
Nothing is obvious
>Why would you get fired?
>What the hell is your job?
Computer programmer

>imagine being 39 and THIS insecure
ouch
tinder will not work for you

>imagine being 39 and THIS insecure
It's that simple.
I can't believe I ruined my life so much.
How is it possible to be this insecure?

>Nothing is obvious
Maybe to you. If women in the office are friendly with you cracking jokes and touching you, asking for a photo to be taken for your grandmother wouldn't be a problem at a minimum. They may also be flirting with you.

>Computer programmer
Do your collateral duties include bending over for others?

>How is it possible to be this insecure?
You'd be really surprised how fucked up people can get. Don't fixate on how, just focus on overcoming.

>They may also be flirting with you.
That's unbelievable
>Do your collateral duties include bending over for others?
Occasionally.
I won't sugarcoat it.
I'm a wage slave and a corporate instrument but it beats being a neet.
And compared to other jobs I got it easy and the pay is nice.
>just focus on overcoming.
It's hard because I don't have the slightest clue

You do this mental weird loop. Since you're in programming, think of it like a computer freezing cause shit code causing an infinite loop you can't get out. Bitch, we're going to reboot you!

>That's unbelievable
Why? Women touching you is usually a sign they like you, unless it's required for the job.

>It's hard because I don't have the slightest clue
We're giving you info on how to overcome but you're just saying no each time.
I'm not saying ask the women out for a date, but there's no reason why you can't ask them to take a photo.
I find it very unlikely you'd get fired for posting pics, but if that's the case black out their faces, and don't make your dating profile very sexual.
Also, take some risk in your life. You don't have to jump off a bridge but at least ask a woman out on a date.

Have you even kissed a woman or done some groping? How far have you gotten when it comes to dating and women?

>Have you even kissed a woman or done some groping?
No
>How far have you gotten when it comes to dating and women?
I once hugged a woman, once went to a cinema with a woman and once drunk wine (1 glass) with a woman at a bar or something

>I once hugged a woman, once went to a cinema with a woman and once drunk wine (1 glass) with a woman at a bar or something
Women are touching and going out with you, so that's better than nothing.

You just need to recognize the signs and act on them.

Notice more when women touch you, laugh, make jokes, play with their hair, etc.
Ask women for their numbers and to get coffee sometime.
Create some dating profiles.
Go out with more women more often.
Don't spend that much money on dates. The less, the better. Get coffee and go Dutch if possible.
Make your move when you see more signs and after escalating.

>women seem to like your company, yet still virgin
>insecure and bad self image
>frightened by risk
You remind me of myself, OP. I always thought I looked hideous and everything I did was bad, even when I was told it's not, and I've always felt like a complete failure. I've had several obvious chances with women (touching and flirting with me, making them laugh and have a good time etc.), but I've always been terrified of reciprocating and trying to be intimate. The thought of engaging in any sexual activity with a woman scares me shitless for some reason. Being a kissless virgin is probably part of it. I don't want to disappoint anyone and I fear people would dislike and make fun of me for it. I'm not as old as you, but I'm nearing 30 and I already feel so horrible about all this that I can't even imagine what you must feel. I just hope I'll be able to overcome my fears and insecurities, but I have no idea how as I don't think there is anyone out there patient enough to deal and help me with them. I hope you manage some day, OP. Try to listen to the advice people give you and think better about yourself. You seem to be in a good position.

Nobody cares, honestly.