I just got married about a month ago and my husband hit me for the first time the other day. Wtf do I do?

I just got married about a month ago and my husband hit me for the first time the other day. Wtf do I do?

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Tell us what you did to make him do that.


this ^

It's your turn.

I don't have a graphic off hand but from what I remember women who suffer an incident of domestic violence have about a 40% chance to experience another incident within the next 60 days. Women who have been non-fatally strangled and remain with their partner have a whopping 750% of fatal strangulation.

Domestic violence is no joke. Get out OP.

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Bat to a knee while he's sleeping before you leave.


>gets taken in for assault
>husband starts making shit up about her abusing him
>she gets in deeper shit
great job

Or you could do as the romans, and slap your nails into his face so his mother knows what's up.
I usually make sure assholes are fully grounded and roughly exfoliated.

Leave and stay with a friend for a while. Let your parents and other family know what's going on. The biggest thing I want to tell you is that even if you feel like no one cares or if you feel like you don't matter or that your life has no worth, you're wrong. There are people in your life that want you to succeed and be happy and they want to see you get out of this situation.

Depends on the state, in which most of them the guys are allways at fault. Allways check your local marital law before signing yourself up for crazy, user.

That literally solves nothing and in fact exacerbates the situation. Break it off and get a divorce.

Submit to him, skank

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Copfag. Absolutely fucking false. I handle DV cases pretty much every other day that I work. Some are real, some are not, but there is definitely not a male-always-at-fault law or policy or common practice. I've locked up plenty of women for DV.

>common practice.
Not buying that on my irl and internet anecdotal observations. And yes, I know several cops and militaryfags.

Get a divorce asap. This is literally unacceptable and WILL escalate. My mom was abused by my dad when they were married. It escalated to the point where he permanently crippled her hand. My mom never laid a hand on my dad and never screamed or abused him verbally. She still stayed after that and intentionally got pregnant with me when he said he wanted kids before he was too old (he is 10 years older than she is). When I was 2 months old, my mom was holding me and he pushed her to the ground and kicked her repeatedly. My mom decided then that she needed to leave, or I could get seriously injured or worse, end up dead. She didn't want me growing up thinking that's how people treated people they loved. The thing is, before they were married my dad treated my mom with care and respect. He did some red flagish things of course, which my mom tolerated more than she should have because she grew up in a bad household, but she has told me he was the best guy she ever dated by far. When they were in marriage counseling and also saw doctors individually for therapy, he was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.

OP, sometimes people don't show you who they really are until after they think they have you where you can't escape or won't leave. Don't overlook this. These things do escalate. Someone capable of this is capable of doing it again and doing much more. Please, leave this relationship and get counseling.

Back in the day it used to be common practice not to charge anyone. We'd just show up on scene, separate the parties, calm everyone down then depart.

What changed all that was when statistical analysis of DV incidents got better in the 90's state legislatures realized that the obvious was going to happen in those cases: cops leave, 5 minutes later someone is getting their ass whooped again. So we now have policies that basically force an arrest whenever we go to a DV incident, even if there really isn't enough evidence to support prosecution of the case (shitty situation, making charges we know we can't move forward on but it's better than the alternative and that's what the States want). Other stuff came along with this change like not needing a victim for DV prosecution (injured party can want to not press charges and we can still arrest), but it's kind of a digression.

It's not common practice to always lock up the male, it's common practice to always make an arrest. Statistics do the rest, most DV cases are male offender - female victim.

Hopefully that clears the water.

+1 on this.

Check out Sistercare shelters in your area. They house DV victims anonymously and you can stay there while you figure out what you want to do.

>Statistics do the rest, most DV cases are male offender - female victim.
This is what I'm leading with, inherent bias and forcing an arrest. I know female abusers exist, but it's far reach from equal status.

if he hit you thats horseshit

Tell the whole story before you get the internet lynch mob on the case, OP.


The relationship is by definition broken if violence is involved, but that doesn't mean the guy is the textbook "monster for no reason".
For all we know, OP could be the kind of woman who screams for hours while breaking every dish in the house, and when the guy slaps her once she acts like he just murdered a whole town.
Sure, he could actually be an asshole, but even then, apparently he wasn't enough of one to not marry in the first place.

Until we know more, it's irresponsible to say anything further than "domestic violence isn't healthy".


It could be something, it could be nothing but I can't help but have a red flag go off in my head when anyone claims domestic violence without any other context than "he/she hit me"

What did you do to make him do that?

Yet another +1 on this.

Do not tolerate violence from your significant other, period. There is no context where this is acceptable, no excuse that will prevent the same thing happening in the future.