23 years and old never had a girlfriend, never even kissed or been on a first date. I have literally no romantic or sexual experience at all. No girl has ever shown romantic interest in me. Other than that, I'm a mostly normal guy with a healthy social life, I go to college, and I take good care of my appearance.
1. What gives? Why is it not working out for me in regards to dating? Not even one first date or kiss, ever? 2. Is it hopeless? Should I give up if I got all the way to 23 without even one date?
have you ever asked a girl out? are you using dating apps?
23 years old and similar situation, except some girls showed interest but I’m socially awkward
Not asked a girl out since I was 16, no.
I tried Tinder, but 90% of girls just didn't respond to my messages even though they matched with me. The ones that did respond didn't seem very enthusiastic. So I gave up, and stopped messaging my matches out of fear of the same rejection happening again.
I tried Bumble and no girls messaged me. Wait no, that's a lie. One girl messaged me, but I was too scared to reply. I couldn't come up with an interesting enough reply, so I felt it was pointless to even try.
More effort, as much as it takes
How do you expect to get a girlfriend if you never even try to get a girlfriend?
What are you talking about? In what way am I "not trying"? Are you insane or are you just not reading my posts thoroughly?
Have you ever tried talking to a girl? There is rejection but if you never try you'll never know. Most girls don't want to make the first move. Do you have any friends or in a group with women in it?
>1. What gives? Why is it not working out for me in regards to dating? Maybe women doin't like you because you're entitled. Maybe work on your character???
well, you should practice more on having conversations. GFs won't come flying at you, you know?
Hard to say, if you have a normal social life I'm surprised you don't get even a few girls checking you out. I think it might be you look too young and live in an area heavily populated by all kinds of men and attractive ones too. Happened to me, then I started looking like a man and women suddenly started noticing me.
Your post sounds like you expect love to fall in to your life like on tv. People meet because they want to, you should be asking out girls every day even when you have dates, until you are in a committed relationship.
It's been 7 years since you asked a girl out. I would say qualifies as not trying.
Wanna know how I got my girlfriend? I asked out a woman I knew and she said yes.
Again, are you not actually reading my posts? I have a normal social life and go to a college with a big social scene. Yes, of course I speak to girls. I'm friends with girls. I'm not a recluse for christ sake.
I'm not entitled? I don't ask for much. In fact, I'm not asking for anything. I'm merely questioning why life hasn't worked out for me in this regard. It isn't normal for a guy like me to be a kissless dateless virgin. I even asked friends (both girls and guys) what I'm doing wrong, and none of them could give me any real answers. According to them, I "should be able to get a girlfriend easily". But it just never happens for me.
Look, if you're not gonna read my posts, don't bother giving advice here. I'm not some shut in robot who can't make a simple conversation.
I can make the conversations, I can make friends with girls. I just don't get any romantic response from them, not ever. It's as if I'm sexually invisible to women.
What's the point in asking girls on dates if I don't get any signs of romantic interest from girls? I'm not insane. I know the signs that girls give when they find a guy attractive, and those signs are never given to me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but whatever it is, it's keeping women from ever developing romantic interest in me.
You "think" you know those signs but you do not. You have never even been on a date so stop thinking you know anything about the dating game. The fact that you never make a move is what keeps women from developing romantic interest in you.
How would you rate yourself OP, you think you're fairly average looking at least? If so, you should have a shot at getting a date as long as you're not the one turning girls down. Date within your comfort zone of course.
>Look, if you're not gonna read my posts, don't bother giving advice here. I'm not some shut in robot who can't make a simple conversation.
refer to: >One girl messaged me, but I was too scared to reply. I couldn't come up with an interesting enough reply, so I felt it was pointless to even try.
keep getting into convo with women until you lost the fear of rejection
There are no signs buddy, are you a fuckin' psychic? You think people just get horny and start makin' out without talking about it?
>I'm not entitled? well that's the vibe you give off. Not my fault you have no self awareness.
>In what way am I "not trying"? >"I gave up" >"One girl messaged me, but I was too scared to reply." >"I felt it was pointless to even try." Odds are you do not know these women in real life, and odds are you'll never randomly meet them in the future without this app either. So why the fuck are you scared?! What do you have to lose by coming off weird to people you dont know on a dating app? if they dont like you, big fucking whoop, its better to catch issues right off the bat then to waste time meeting up and god-forbid building a relationship acting like someone you really arent. Just be polite, ask some questions about eachothers interests and be honest. Dont act like this is your only shot, there will always be another woman. Always. If you want quicker responses, start self improving and take better pictures. dating apps are a narcissism machine, show some value in yourself.
I am female and I don't show romantic interest until I'm actually asked out on a date. If I like you I'll play along but if I don't I'll say I just want to be friends. Until then I treat you like anybody else. Maybe the women you know are like me?
Op, that you’re surprised by the responses here shows how naive you are, although you could be pulling a decent b8 in which case good on you. In case you’re not, you have to understand that with normies, you haven’t done enough until you’ve succeeded. They will either tell you that you haven’t tried at all, that you haven’t tried enough, or that you haven’t tried the right things. You could ask literally every female out in your geographic area, be rejected that many times, and the normie response to you questioning this would be to say you need to expand the geographic area. There is no upper limit to the energy you have to expend. If you are not willing to become a nuclear fusion reactor and expend as much energy as the sun to 1) become attractive and 2) attain a gf, you are better off keeping these thoughts to yourself and avoiding the vitriol of the normies.
You're telling me I should be asking women on dates even when they show literally zero romantic interest in me? What's wrong with you? How can you possibly think that's a good idea? Are you deliberately trying to trick me into getting rejected?
6 or 7/10, raw appearance wise. But I'm super autistic about my hygiene and grooming, so everything that I can control and influence, I do. I also dress very well (confirmed by girl friends of mine). So there isn't anything more I can do about my appearance. I've "maxed out", I've hit the ceiling.
I can't flirt with girls. I can't do romantic conversation. That's why I struggle so badly with Tinder/Bumble. I'm 23 years old and never been on a simple first date even, how do you expect me to know how to flirt with women or seduce them? I don't know how to do it. I literally have no idea. Even if I was male model tier gorgeous, my pathetic attempts at "flirting" would still dry women up like the sahara.
>You think people just get horny and start makin' out without talking about it? Yes, that's how it appears to happen when my friends have romantic encounters. I see them speaking to a girl at a party. They start doing something that looks like flirting. Maybe they lean into each other a bit. They seem to be in perfect sync, like neither one is really "making a move", it's just magically naturally happening. And the next thing I know, they're making out. I don't get it. Why does that never happen to me?
23 years of kissless dateless handholdless virginity has made me slightly crazy.
I'm really scared of judgement from women. I don't want to send some dumb, boring message and imagine the girl reading it back to herself and thinking "oh god, how boring is he, he's so offputting. ugh." The thought of that happening makes my skin crawl with awkwardness.
Well if you never show interest, how on earth am I supposed to know if you're interested or not? Do you expect me to read minds?
Why do you need girlfriend when you already have girlfriends?
Yeah I guess it depends on the individual. I notice the women that hint being attracted to a guy are usually younger in their early 20's. As they age they approach men and only show interest within conversations. It's a matter of maturity and experience I guess.
>I can't flirt with girls. I can't do romantic conversation. That's why I struggle so badly with Tinder/Bumble. I'm 23 years old and never been on a simple first date even, how do you expect me to know how to flirt with women or seduce them? I don't know how to do it. I literally have no idea. Even if I was male model tier gorgeous, my pathetic attempts at "flirting" would still dry women up like the sahara. jesus dude, just relax. Remember that women are just people, if you can keep a conversation with your male friends and make them laugh, you can keep a conversation with a woman. Flirting is nothing but joking while having a conversation. It's not different than having a convo with a friend. Ask a girl out and see how it goes, worst thing that can happen is that you still being a pathetic virgin the next day. So nothing to lose there.
Come on. You can't be that retarded to not know the difference.
>if you can keep a conversation with your male friends and make them laugh, you can keep a conversation with a woman. Yes, and I can do that. I can joke with girls and make them laugh, but nothing ever HAPPENS. The conversation never turns flirty, sexually-tinged, or romantic in any way. It just never happens.
>Flirting is nothing but joking while having a conversation. It's not different than having a convo with a friend. Then why do girls not flirt with me? Not ever?
>Ask a girl out and see how it goes How? No girls show interest in me. There isn't anyone to ask out
>You're telling me I should be asking women on dates even when they show literally zero romantic interest in me?
Yes. Keep doing this and eventually one will say yes. That is how many people get dates. You say you have female friends. You know what the difference between a female friend and a girlfriend is? You asked the girlfriend on a date. If you can get a friend then you can get a date. Problem is you don't try to get dates so of course you are not going to get any.
My dude I'm surprised you haven't had a single girl say she likes you or anything along those lines. I was average as hell and I had a couple in high school tell me or heavily hint they wanted me to ask them out. There has to be something you're doing wrong, my guess is you're coming off desperate mate. Women can tell when a guy is desperate. You have to be chill as fuck to get women interested. Women prefer men that can display confidence and calmness even in situations that can appear to be intense. Guys that lose their shit because they're emotionally immature is a huge turnoff. They'll only pity you if you show that side of yourself. They accept vulnerability only when you're both deep enough in a relationship, if you display that weakness too early it's over.
>How? No girls show interest in me. There isn't anyone to ask out if you can keep a conversation going and figure out what things they like, what hobbies are the into, you can find common ground somewhere and ask her out based on common interest. If they reject you from here, it means that the weren't really into you, if they do accept your invitation, it means that you have a chance.
Yeah they have experience with other people. You ever watch a baby walk it's so hard and takes months to learn. Months of trying constantly and falling down. Your friends get better and better and so will you. You have to start at the beginning. Hi my name is, what's yours? Do you want to go to the movies? You want magic powers go to /x/ you want to date, then you need to ask girls out.
>I was average as hell and I had a couple in high school tell me or heavily hint they wanted me to ask them out.
Yep. I really just don't understand it. At this point I'm thinking that god must have cursed me. It's the only logical explanation for this.
I've had girls compliment my appearance. But never in a flirty way. A couple girls called me hot/sexy a few times but I could tell they were doing it in a "friendly" way if you get me. So it's like, even the girls who find me attractive still don't want to date me. It's like there's something spiritually wrong with me that is repulsing women.
I can't. I'm too scared of rejection and judgement from women. Asking out a girl is so daunting. So many things could go wrong.
Also, even if she says yes, I would then face the problem of how to admit to my inexperience. Some girls might be willing to date me, but if they found out I'm a kissless dateless handholdless virgin, they might rescind the offer.
How do i ask a girl out? I literally don't understand how. I can't just walk up to a girl and say "do you want to go on a date". That's too forced. I can't think of any way to do it in a natural, seamless, organic way.
>I'm too scared of rejection and judgement from women.
well, here is your problem my man, you know it, so face your fear and over come it. Nothing else to do here. You need more confidence, i would advice hitting the gym and getting a job. You might lose the fear that way. I don't think women would care about your inexperience, as long as you don't ask a incel mass shooter as you are clearly portraying in this thread.
>I can't. I'm too scared of rejection and judgement from women. Asking out a girl is so daunting. So many things could go wrong.
Well then stop complaining about not having a girlfriend if you refuse to even attempt to do what it takes to get one.
That's literally what it is. How do you talk to someone? You walk up to someone or call them over and start talking. Sometimes people want to talk and sometimes they don't. You want a chance at happiness, you have that everyday. You want a miracle, then you better talk to your god.
But what the fuck are you talking about? I feel like I'm actually going crazy here. What you're proposing isn't normal. Men aren't meant to just walk up to girls who have shown NO sign of romantic interest in them and just ask them out, with no prior warning. That's fucking ridiculous. That CAN'T be what happens in the real world. I literally don't know ANYBODY who has done that. Every single person I know who has ever dated or been in a relationship has had it develop organically, without some grand gesture of "asking out" like you are describing. Nine times out of 10, the girl shows signs of interest in the guy, the guy picks up on them, and he either asks her out THEN, or they simply naturally gravitate into dating, kissing, having sex without any formal process.
Ok so if they jokingly say you're attractive it's a start. You don't seem to have a problem speaking to women, have you tried getting to know one of them better that you find interesting? What kinds of things do you talk about with girls anyway? Is it only school related stuff?
The other anons are right, a girl won't ask you out most of the time. If they like you enough they will practically look like they're coming off as desperate themselves when they're hinting they like you. Don't let them do this though, be kind enough to let them know early on you're not interested.
>Every single person I know who has ever dated or been in a relationship has had it develop organically, without some grand gesture of "asking out" like you are describing.
Asking her out is part of that organic process. You think people just spontaneously be in relationships for no reason?
have you ever seem people picking up girls at a bar? how is that not normal you fucking moron?
of course, if you are going through highschool / college / uni, is more likely to start dating people that you already know.
Actually going for women that are stranger to you is quiet ballsy, I would advice you against it due to your autistic personality you might end up put in a list. Just keep using dating apps and see if one of those fish bites. Take your chances man, if you risk it you may lose but if you don't risk it you will always lose.
>haven't asked a girl out in 7 years >"why can't i get a gf?" This fucking board.
>You don't seem to have a problem speaking to women, have you tried getting to know one of them better that you find interesting? I'm not interested in dating any of my female friends. They're cute girls all of them, but I only see them as friends personally.
>What kinds of things do you talk about with girls anyway? Is it only school related stuff? Nah. Hobbies, music, films, things that have been happening in our social circle, general banter, memes, etc. I dunno. I'm not the best conversationalist, but a lot of people seem to enjoy hanging out with me I guess.
>The other anons are right, a girl won't ask you out most of the time I'm not expecting a girl to ask me out. I just would expect that if any girl was interested in dating me, she would express that interest by giving me some kind of subtle signal. But it never happens.
Not for "no reason", no. But people DO spontaneously enter into relationships. People literally start dating in the blink of an eye sometimes. My experience of friends getting into relationships is that they'll meet someone at a party, through mutual friends, or in a class, they'll start talking to her, there might be a couple rumours of them being flirty with each other. Then the next thing I know the secret is out that they're dating. There's no grand gesture of "asking out" or formal dating process. They just naturally flirt with each other, naturally get off with each other, and then mutually decide that a relationship should happen.
So what's stopping you from trying to talk to any other girl you may like then? Why don't you try being friends with someone you don't just see as a friend or is that the problem?
No girl has ever expressed any interest in me, either. No bumps, no hi’s, no hair twirling or unnecessary looks. I don’t take it personally, though. Women understandably have standards and I don’t meet them. They have a duty to secure the future of the species and if my genes aren’t good enough so be it. You at least have a social life. I’m 22, almost 23 and in college also. As to your questions >What gives? You have to be attractive. This entails confidence, intelligence, humor, and looks. Since you’re in college, you’re probably simply out competed by many other young men. You aren’t first choice. Once you get into the “real world,” get a job and a fat wallet, the you’ll have access to women your age and older who are ready to settle down with a nice provider. >Is it hopeless? Probably not. As I said, you’ll have more chances as time goes on and your material wealth makes up for what you lack in personality and looks. Men like you make up a large chunk of the population and are responsible for maintaining stability in society. Just do your part and you’ll be rewarded. Just don’t expect too much or you’ll be disappointed.
When I like a girl, I struggle to talk to her properly. Often girls who I really like I actually act rude towards, not because I want to, but because I feel like I need to put up a steely exterior to avoid them thinking of me as pathetic. I just don't want to get rejected or get crushed by them emotionally.
True words user, that might also explain why I didn't shine in college despite having thousands of options. It may very well be I was among many young men that stood out more and were more talented than I was. Not surprised, people from all over the world were there and chances were high I wasn't going to rise above mediocrity. That and I still looked like a teenager back then.
you are a fucking idiot, hope you never get laid.
Explain? You can't just drop a post like that and not even tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Rude how? You don't want to be plain rude dude, that might explain why women don't want to approach you THAT way in the first place. It's cool if you want to have a tough exterior but if you rub women the wrong way you're going to be rejected a lot my dude.
you are pathetic, you know you are a fucking pussy and all you have to do is get over yourself and man up, but no, instead you are wasting our time here crying like a little girl about how much of an idiot you are. Grow a pair and stop being a pussy.
He’s a normie or white knight firing on all cylinders. He’s going to overheat soon if he hasn’t already
Just often when I’m speaking to girls I like, I try to act disinterested and aloof so that they can’t reject me. I have this fear that the girls I like will figure out that I like them, and then they’ll pity me for ever thinking that I had a chance with them
Literally why do you have to be so harsh about it? That just isn’t necessary
Ok so you're indifferent. That's cool, if you want to play it safe that way you can keep talking to them without revealing what you really feel. If you see these girls start to act different than they usually do that's when you can drop a hint at wanting to date them. Just entertain the idea, a simple 'hey you want to watch this movie'. If they say no then just act like it's no big deal. Be very careful though, pay attention to how they're behaving towards you. Women in general hint one way or another when they like a guy. The older they are it's more nuanced and subtle. Watch how close they are too you and how comfortable they feel around you in terms of proximity.
26 and in the same situation. I'm not an incel - in the ideological sense - but I read how people view incels as having a broad hate for women and see everything as "about sex". In these instances I, for some reason, identify with incels and take offense to these generalizations. I don't hate women or see them as objects that "owe me sex" or else I am less of a "man" or something. I just deeply hate myself; I'm the closest I've ever been to actually doing something to harm myself. I don't know how to be a social or likeable person with drive and ambition. Life has never been something I was excited for.
Sorry for the blog post. Can't really help you, OP. Just know that unless you actively keep living life, it will pass you right the fuck by, and quick. If you want to meet women take the advice of the people in this thread and maybe confide in some of your friends who have relationship experience for help.
Boi, I would like to start saying that you look like a friend of mine, he has 23 years old, nice social life, nice friends, nice dreams (and already graduated, he is on his second University.. that's awesome).. He never had a girlfriend, never even kissed ou been on a first date, but, he still following his dreams, his musical projects. Did u get? Why look for girl, why being so anxious to do something about it? The world is full of woman, i'm sure that you will get one, but, the time of ours lifes is really short and we have no time to spend with this.. they come naturally. I learned (after having one failed relationship, and now meeting some girls) that the most important thing of our life is the self-improve, knowledge, and the learning. Do not lose your mind for pussy, everyone will find someday the so mate.
>My experience of friends getting into relationships is that they'll meet someone at a party, through mutual friends, or in a class, they'll start talking to her, there might be a couple rumours of them being flirty with each other. Then the next thing I know the secret is out that they're dating.
Yea and I guarantee you that they either asked out or where asked out by the person they are dating. You seem to think it is some "grand romantic gesture" like putting on a tuxedo and giving her 1000 wild roses while an airplane writes lovenotes in the sky and a string quartet playing in the background or something. It's not. It's more like "hey, you want to go out with me some time?" In fact those where the exact words I said to my girlfriend right before we started dating.
You know why we started dating? Because I manned the fuck up and asked her out.
Okay. Now be honest with me. Before you asked your gf out, did she show any signs of romantic interest and/or attraction towards you? At all? Even small signs?
>goes on advice board >gets mad when people give advice
OP will never be a main character. OP is too scared. OP should leave this thread no one can help you, when you just keep saying you can't. You either do or you don't. You haven't and you say you won't. Thread over
24 and same babyyy
It's okay user. The problem is that you're expecting romantic interest, But the sad truth is that you need to take initiative when it comes to things like this.
If you feel a connection with someone, ask them for a number and see where it goes. Be brave user.
If you feel awkward, then don't do it, there's nothing wrong with feeling comfortable, but I will say that most encounters will feel awkward if all you're thinking about is dating and getting a gf. Look for someone you can talk to normally, or someone who is obviously being flirty.
>No girl has ever shown romantic interest in me If I got a dollar for everytime some dumb incel used this godforsaken phrase. HEY buddy, have you shown any romantic interest in anyone lately? Possibly without being a massive creep about it?
Beat you. 32 and never had a gf. Not worried about it so much anymore. If it happens, it happens if it doesn't I'm happy with my life as it is anyway.
>You're telling me I should be asking women on dates even when they show literally zero romantic interest in me? What's wrong with you? How can you possibly think that's a good idea? Are you deliberately trying to trick me into getting rejected? >6 or 7/10, raw appearance wise. But I'm super autistic about my hygiene and grooming, so everything that I can control and influence, I do. I also dress very well (confirmed by girl friends of mine). So there isn't anything more I can do about my appearance. I've "maxed out", I've hit the ceiling.
Are you Jow Forums? do you go to the gym or do sports? I assume not because you didn't mention it. If you aren't Jow Forums you should get working on it ASAP.
I swear this "hit the gym" is a fucking meme. Everyone here always tell "hit the gym", like being fit automatically solves all your problems. Your mother has a cancer? Hit the gym. You have small dick? Hit the gym. You are virgin? Hit the gym.
Exercise releases happy chemicals, increases overall health leading to more happy chemicals, and also is linked with better life choices leading to more happy chemicals. Also makes others treat you better, increasing happy chemicals.
Your mother has cancer? Enjoy the happy chemicals and a mom who gets to leave this realm happy and proud of her healthy and happy son. Small dick? Take the happy chemicals and use it for confidence, confidence makes up for a lot. Same for being a virgin. Being a virgin is only bad when it makes you insecure or unconfident. Being a confident, ripped virgin will make at least some females want to take it.
>ripped virgin will make at least some females want to take it. Nice meme again, you can have even 10/10 body with 5% body fat but if your face is shit then no woman will want you, sorry user but that's the reality and if you think otherwise I'm 100% sure you're just baiting other people. >confidence makes up for a lot Again, not if your face is shit not to metion being less than 5'9"
I did not say 18yo tight cheerleader staceys, could be anything from mental teenage headcases to cougars who will rip that dick apart with their vagina.
You really underestimate just how crucial confidence is. Being Jow Forums is a part of it. Yes you can actually be confident as fuck without being Jow Forums but I'm a firm believer of needing something to back that confidence up, even if it is a work in progress.
Actually, working out does increase penis size
This. When I was in high school I started working out and after 6 months when my gains were noticeable not only to me but to other people too, I felt much more confident than before working out. I would even flex my muscles in front of girls and I must admit they noticed my muscles and even ask me about working out. I'm not even 5/10 so this shit boosted my confidence so much.
>mostly normal guy >healthy social life >I speak to girls >I'm friends with girls >I'm not a recluse >not some shut in robot who can't make a simple conversation. >I can make the conversations >I'm not insane >I know the signs that girls give >a lot of people seem to enjoy hanging out with me vs. >Not asked a girl out since I was 16 >gave up, and stopped messaging my matches >fear of the same rejection happening again >too scared to reply >felt it was pointless to even try. >What's the point in asking girls on dates >Are you deliberately trying to trick me into getting rejected? >how do you expect me to know how to flirt with women or seduce them? >I literally have no idea >virginity [...] has made me slightly crazy >I'm really scared of judgement >makes my skin crawl with awkwardness >I'm too scared of rejection and judgement >Asking out a girl is so daunting >So many things could go wrong >How do i ask a girl out? I literally don't understand how >That's fucking ridiculous. That CAN'T be what happens in the real world. Either this is bait, or there's MASSIVE amounts of cognitive dissonance going on in your head. Either way, get help.
Girls will not talk to you unless you approach them. You need to ask them out.
If you don't ask a girl out within ~2 weeks of meeting her, they will either assume that you aren't interested in them, or they will know that you like them and look down on you for being a pussy.
It is better to get rejected than not to ask at all. Girls are fickle and might change their mind later on now that they know you're into them. Alternatively she might set you up with one of her friends. If you don't ask her out you will be a beta orbiter and she will never consider you romantically.
Asking out isn't a grand gesture user. It's just "hey do you want to do out to dinner with me some time" or "we should see a movie together some time". It's casual and unless the girl has issues of her own she will not see it as a big deal. If she turns you down you can still be friends and she will respect you more for being upfront.
Don't try to look for "signs", if she's talking to you and seems happy you have a chance with her. There aren't any universal signs.
If you really want help though ask one of your female friends for advice on how to get a gf.