Saw the result of a suicide

I'll keep it short and sweet so i don't accidentally violate HIPPA.

Work in mental health, a patient killed themselves, insane the corpse.

Not the first corpse I've seen, but this one did something to me and I'm crying all the time and I can't get over it. Had a panic attack on way to work.

I don't want to waste anyone's time, I've been diagnosed with BPD so no if you cbf move on please, but I really would love some help/talk/attention w/e. I feel like I'm even worse and my ideation of suicide is at an all-time high.

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>insane the corpse
I saw the corpse*

I'll give myself one bump.. but that's it.

Your facility should have counseling, no?

>works in mental health
>is diagnosed with a mental disorder
>somehow has no clue as to what resources they could use to help him with their issues
>relies on people who tell jumpers to do flips to make him feel better
You know to whom you should be talking to.

What is bothering you about the situation? How well aquatinted were you with the patient?

Man, my mum works as a nurse at a hospice and has seen a patient hang herself on the balcony. She felt horrible for weeks. Can't relate but it must be a horrible feeling. Do they have counseling at your work? And how come you got into mental health with BPD? No offense though!

It does not. I'm just a peon mini counselor.
I know but they don't help me, looking outside the box
Not at all. The night before I even had people complaining that they was annoying and I'm like "no.. you gotta show empathy that's why they're here" but in my mind I was thinking how fucking annoying they were being and that it was making my night shit.

I... Don't know how or why I got in. I feel like its just my way of being an attention whore but maybe I also want to help not sure. Mostly though I just needed a job

did you check it for loot? might have a rare drop

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I used to kinda laugh at this and then feel bad. Now these kind of jokes unironically trigger me and that's sort of my problem right now. I'm terrified and also want to do it to myself. Please stop user

You’re not the person that killed themselves. Lots of people think of suicide but then life turns around. It can be very temporary.

Probably not a good line of work for you user, you will likely see suicides frequently.

Probably not, but it pays my life right now and it's hard for me to actually do something with my life other than this I guess?

Damn, that's hard to deal with OP. I don't have advice but it'll be okay. Sorry you had to witness that.

idk what to say. I'm sorry.
I haven't been getting sleep lately and I've started thinking about suicide again. I wanna call the holiness but I'm feeling too anxious and ashamed to do it

as a mobilefag the autocorrect fucks up a lot of the sentences I write

I'd rather be enjoying life, how the fuck could death possibly be better?

If anything wouldn't seeing someone do that make you not want to?

Sending you some love XO

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sometimes I just wanna end it

Why would you say that?

Live a little

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what the fuck am I supposed to do in life if I don't have anyone? even studying and achieving my main goal in life feels worthless without no one by my side

Sometimes I forget that people who work in mental health i.e. counselors are human too and need their own help sometimes

The corpse and life of that person may have been sad, and while their suicide is unfortunate, they're no longer in pain.

I'm just tired of myself. I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself tho. I've tried hanging myself with a belt last year but I failed

Sometimes things get worse before they get better. But if they were always good you wouldn't appreciate it as much, so take a deep breath and just remember to breathe!

i apreciate that but I find sentences like yours "cringey" and worthless, I don't know why. Probably it's just me

You sound like a pussy. Just man the f up

A lot of the people I counsel at work are ashamed because they think it's.embarrasing. just call or text. It's not embarrassing, people want to help you, and will intervene to try to protect your life. It's precious user and you only get one as far as I know.

Okay well don't attack the person trying to help. Saying that stuff doesn't make me feel better. Whatever. Find some light in your dark ass path for goodness sake

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I'm not attacking him, I really apreciate the fact that he/she's trying go help me. I just don't feel like it's really helping me

You say you are a borderline so why are you helping someone else? Are you sure you're borderline?

Sorry I was useless to you

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u haven't been useless to me :)

I've been diagnosed, and in therapy for it for years. It's stigmatized, and yes it makes me hard to talk to honestly but I have tried for almost a decade to be good.


tried for a decade to be good? what?

Sorry I don't really want to talk about that. If you're curious about BPD then google it.

user you tried. You try everyday. Your job is to try and help people without judgement. That makes you special. Dont let something out of your control remove why you are special. Get up and try, never stop. You're my hero.

You should seek counseling. I am a nurse myself. I have seen such awful things as I’m sure you have too. Don’t bear the weight alone.

Are you talking to me? Thank you but I feel like a pathetic attention whore.

I see it repeatedly when I close my eyes. I hate it. My psychiatrist tells me the same stuff but it doesn't work I just can't get over it. She says it's because I can't be counseled and k have to find the solution (i.e. she gives up) i don't know what to do user, I honestly think I'll end up killing myself soon because I can't move past it

No matter how much training a person in your position encounters, there's no real pleasant way to process someone in your care mangling themselves. It's an anathema to our innate empathy to just 'get over' that shit, I'm sorry this happened to you. But as fucked up as it is to say, I'm glad that your environment hasn't deadened you to this kind of thing. It's all to easy for a person to make themselves less human in the face this kind of prolonged bullshit. I hope your position can help you find the right person to discuss your ideations with, though.

In the spirit of unsolicited advice, don't off yourself. To elaborate upon what was said, there might be a lack of staff where you work that the patients think feel any pain. That shared pain can break people, but it can also become the foundation of great empathy. A meaningful bond some of these folks might not have experienced otherwise. Maybe building that rapport more easily could help you in your own struggles, who knows.

When I come across bodies I always check for cash and coupons before calling the cops.

Everything you touch turns to shit.

Shitfinger over here!

I think I will kill myself soon

I am talking to you. I thought and still think about suicide often. The issue for me is its the East way out and it would cause serious collateral damage. Dont give up. You are worth more. Do the right thing even if no one will know about it. Don't be the person your counselor will think about and blame themselves for. I believe in you, what you do in the future could save more lives than you could imagine. But even if it doeant, and it just saves yours, its worth it. You deserve to live and be happy.

Good luck user I know you can do it

Typical American mental healthcare system. Let's let the guy with mental illness diagnose others with mental illness

Death is apart of Life.
You can't have death without Life. And you can't have Life without Death. You can slow death down sure, but in the end of your life you won't stop death. So live everyday like it's your last. Don't worry about death. Because death don't worry about you. Live life. That's it.

I don't diagnose, I'm like a mini counselor that runs groups...
Please don't user
I know chances are I'll end up killing myself but right now I won't I think. It's sad but even hours after putting this thread up I'm still here. Probably going to pass out from stress