You know what really gets my goat?

These people who become famous because they used to be racist or misogynist or did terrible things or whatever and then "changed their ways" and now they're being fucking celebrated like their past ignorance somehow makes them a better person.

Like, you know, I never thought any "race" or "gender" was better than any other, and I've tried to be as fair toward everyone I've met as I can be throughout my life, and I'm starting to think that that was a dumb idea.

Apparently, I should have joined the KKK and raped people before having some coming-to-jesus moment where I discovered the beauty of humankind in all it's equal glory in order for anyone to give a shit.

Like, I used to believe that if I jerked off on the toilet, I'd somehow accidentally get semen in my butthole and then the doctors would think I'm gay, but like... that was literally retarded, and I don't expect anyone to tell me I'm brave for overcoming that belief.

I used to not know Algebra. I used to not know a bunch of shit.

Can we just stop with the veneration of the conversion narrative and start paying attention to people who maintained rational doubt of any belief until there was sufficient evidence to support the concept in question?

I guess I'm just an attention-starved douche and jealous, but like, it really rustles my jimmies.

Thank you for attending my TED talk.

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I mean, I get it.

Like, it's such a big problem, you want to find people who have believed the stupid shit that has caused what seems to be most of the suffering on this planet but who eventually figured out that people are pretty much the same and there's no better sort of kind of type of human than any other.

That's great.

But we don't celebrate the fact that babies overcome the challenge of understanding object permanence.

It's just a thing that takes some longer than others to figure out.

This planet has enough resources to provide basic needs for every inhabitant, provided that there is enough cooperation among all the various governments and institutions that control them.

That's sort of a bigger problem than how people feel about abstract concepts regarding race or gender.

I've seen a dude with a tattoo of hitler wearing doc martins peacefully interact with a black guy, but I've never seen a homeless person get offered a safe shelter and stable source of food without having to enter some competition for determining how useful they are to the workforce and attempt to sell their labor.

Like, can we get fucking real here?

There's no way to undo the centuries-old damage of white supremacy, so it really sort of feels like people who aren't racist just sucking each other off when they celebrate some moron who gave up the Klan.

Like, it makes no difference to the families who were murdered.

It doesn't bring back the dead.

So maybe start focusing on the living.

Wow you are a really good person not being racist and all. Keep it up user.

>a tattoo of hitler wearing doc martins

And just to clarify, that would be a tattoo of hiter who - in the tattoo itself - was wearing doc martins.

Like, he clearly ignored historical accuracy, because doc martins were not around during that particular time, but I felt like it wasn't the best time to bring it up because he was buying me and my friends alcohol, and I sort of just had to go along with whatever.

I don't remember what kind of shoes he was wearing.

The reason their story is more compelling than yours is because people relate to fucking up hard in life. Most people didn't maintain "rational self doubt" of everything their whole lives. And frankly I think doubting everything and waiting for evidence is retarded most of the most important events in life do not involve science or evidence in any way. People are not purely driven by empiricism. I'm not justifying racism I am just pointing out why people are more compelled to listen to a story about a former nazi than a story about a random guy on the internet who always thought rationally forever.

No, I'm really not. I'm like a seriously fucked-up person in so many ways I don't even know where to begin.

I feel like the world owes me something for avoiding conflict, for one - that's just stupid, but it's this background noise that makes me resent not getting what I want.

I think I understand the universe better than most other people do because I've studied science, history, mathematics, language, and basically everything that can be studied my entire life and I have two degrees. But it doesn't mean that. I know it doesn't mean that. It means I can communicate to other people who have studied the same things, but it doesn't mean I actually understand things better. It's actually really classist, because how many people have access to the university system to which my birthright allowed me?

But none of that matters - like... not being racist doesn't make you a good person.

I know tons of people who were racist as shit, but when it came to their personal interaction, followed the same moral code that I do, and probably most people do, and it became clear that their racism was just part of some ideological belief, like religion or aesthetics.

I don't think anyone should be congratulated for recognizing that race is, if real at all, something beyond anyone's control, and thus about as important as whether they like pineapple on their pizza (which is totally a fabricated argument; like, Hawaiian pizza has been around since the 1980s without a goddamn peep of feedback, and it's fucking delicious - but like what's the difference between Canadian Bacon and Ham, and isn't that the real conspiracy? Because it's round? Like, really?).

Keep gassing me, though - I can take it.

>people relate to fucking up hard in life

But that's the thing - most of these people never actually hurt anyone or caused physical damage while they were "fucking up hard;" they just ran around like morons with a group who actually did, and then they realized that they'd actually have to hurt someone to be accepted, so they figured "fuck that" and now they're being treated like heroes.

I mean, part of being "white" is realizing that you have this crazy group who wants you to join them in the fight against whatever they see as a threat to their "purity" and you could probably get a bunch of friends and free drugs and shit for it, but eventually they'd need you to actually hurt someone so you realize that it's not worth it because the idea that anybody is really better than anybody else is pretty stupid, because it means that even if you were born as some superior race, there'd be some other who was born superior to you, so it's just an endless cycle - especially because nobody can define "race" outside of phenotypal variations, which are distributed equally throughout the bloodlines of all humans, who are 99.9% genetically similar and all 16th cousins.

But like, that's true for every "race." If you're black, you have the same separatist/supremacist group in the background as if you're Latinx (ever heard of Aztlan? Google it).

We all have these crazy bastards telling us we're better than everyone else. Believing it doesn't mean you're fucking up hard in life, but hurting actual people because of that belief does.

The rational part doesn't happen in the abstract - all abstracts are irrational.

I think you're making a huge deal out of an extremely minute thing.. sorry you didn't get a medal for doing what you're supposed to do.
Mind your own.

>they just ran around like morons with a group who actually did, and then they realized that they'd actually have to hurt someone to be accepted, so they figured "fuck that" and now they're being treated like heroes.
Well a lot of people are just straight up retarded. Seriously you could tell someone some really dumb sappy story and tons of people will listen if you tell it in the right way despite being stupid and cliche or whatever. Why do people give them money? I don't know maybe it makes them feel safer? Who knows? Ironically I am sure people have made money on youtube making some video about exactly what you are saying that's just the way business works.

Well, I think you're probably minimizing my pain because you have developed an unhealthy Stoicism that tells you that your suffering does not matter.

You're allowed to be angry at injustice.

And you're allowed to acknowledge the injustices in your life.

And when we shame that expression by telling each other do ignore what we see as injustice by "sucking it up" or "keeping a stiff upper-lip" (which "sorry you didn't get a medal for doing what you're supposed to do" is essentially saying, unless you'd like to clarify) we participate in the perpetuation of self-abuse.

I'm guessing you probably identify with my complaint despite your apparent disavowal of its worth.

Because if you thought it had no value, you'd have refrained from saying anything at all.

So tell me what or whom "my own" is that I should mind.

This is also a rather large post full of assumptions about a stranger, me, and some kind of over thought out philosophy over how unjust it is someone changed and some people said "hey, good job, man".
I always thought murder, cruelty, war and poverty were injustices, but alright. Let's tackle the massive problem in our world of "people getting better and sometimes being applauded for it."
You will lead a very unhappy life if you don't stop fixating on shit like this.
The world owes you nothing. And other people getting something you think you deserve (or they don't) doesnt mean it owes you anymore. Go to sleep.

Prodigal son. Which is a dumb fucking story but it’s there for a reason: the good son is already good, need to work to get the prodigal son mostly because the prodigal son is such a degenerate fuckup

>a stranger

I mean, it's an anonymous Chinese Cabbage-Farming forum, user.

Who do you think you are to declare shit like that?

If you can't take it, then don't give it.

>over thought out philosophy

What does that mean, exactly? Like, philosophy is sort of made of thinking about shit and talking about it with other people who think about what has been said.

How do you overthink philosophy?

>You will lead a very unhappy life if you don't stop fixating on shit like this.

Lol; I mean, to tell the truth my life has had about a 50/50 split, and I've been utterly elated by existence as well as wished I could fucking die.

I assume that's how it is for everyone, but then again I might just be privileged.

All I know is that for the past few months, I've only been staying awake to go to sleep, because I've given up hope that I can find what I'm looking for in waking reality.

It's fine, I mean I've been lucky enough to be able to sleep a lot and still maintain the necessary things that keep my body alive, but like, your parting bon mot is sort of ironic in that light.

And the world doesn't owe me anything, no. Obviously, if it did, then I'd owe it something too, and I'm not tryna get involved in any more credit schemes.

>Prodigal son

A common and popular tale among the Judeo-Christian belief system that has become so embedded in American and English-Speaking culture.

It's a pretty good interpretation of the emotions that inspired this post, to be quite honest.

I mean, it's a story of jealousy and injustice.

The irony is that it never actually seemed to ring as just to me.

Like, the fact remains that the older brother kept "the faith," as it were, and that he had every right to resent the fact that his father was dressing his younger brother up in robes after he had gone and fucked off with his family's fortune and came crawling back after he got so poor he was envying the pig-food.

I mean, what the fuck is this supposed to teach us?

Because it makes me want to fuck off and become destitute so I can return like some kind of hero and be forgiven and venerated for having managed to get so low that I have to accept the authority of my patriarchal masters.

I mean, that's what it's saying, right?

Or am I not adequately understanding the suffering of the Prodigal Son?

Was his bottom below mine? Did he wish for death with every sleep, and forget any hope for a better tomorrow?

Maybe it was something I could never imagine.

I mean, obviously, envying pig-food is something of biblical proportions.

Unless it's one of them metaphors where that's supposed to mean hitting rock-bottom.

But for the most part, to my understanding, slop is just an amassed content of what the humans either didn't finish or couldn't stomach.

So, like... it's sort of a complicated metaphor to untangle, because a lot of that stuff is delicious.

Sorry if I'm complicating things too much by trying to actually talk about what they mean, but also not sorry.

But the fact that it wound up being a discussion about the Prodigal Son is sort of what is part of the problem.

I mean, there's plenty of people who've never heard of it.

This idea that it's something that should automatically be recognized without having to Google it is sort of an insipid way that Judeo-Christianity has found its way into the mainstream, isn't it?

I mean, can you not discuss the issue without relying on ancient stories?

I think it's relatable enough that most could.

I mean, what about Sisyphus?

What if he was able to ditch the rock, and ran blissfully over the hill, and then he tripped and broke his fucking neck or something, and the gods told him that his fate for doing so was to just keep trying to get that boulder over the mountain?

I mean, the whole premise is that there's some power who can tell you that whatever you thought your fate was is wrong, and you have to suffer in some specific way because they told you so.

It's not exactly original.

This whole thread is fuckin' embarrassing man

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Exactly to whom, Mr. Draper? Exactly to whom is this thread embarrassing?

You can explain at length as needed. The floor is yours.

Is it embarrassing to admit that you have nothing left?

That in terms of why you wake up, every time it seems to be a disappointment?

Is it embarrassing to tell other people that you have no idea what you are awake for?

Maybe. But who cares what they think?

What's embarrassing about it?

Does anybody have the answer to that question?


This has all just gotten too far out of hand to manage, and I don't know anyone who might know what to say about it.

You want to take a shot at saying something, you go right ahead.

What the fuck does it mean to be embarrassed?

It should never matter if anyone knows that you did and continue to do the right thing.

You know, that's enough.

The worst thing I can imagine as a man is being indifferent when I could do something about pain or suffering. When I could say something to get and help

I dont know the saying but something like there's nothing worse than the indifference of a decent man.

I hope I can be as good as you one day op. Doing the right thing no matter what when no one can see and you get No credit is one of the most noble things I can think of

Its a false equivalent and I hope when you have your own struggles and hardships others take the time to not be as critical of you as you are of others. Its not our place to judge one another.

>It should never matter if anyone knows that you did and continue to do the right thing.

Well isn't that comforting until you find that nobody gives a shit whether you continue to do the right thing.

Because the idea that that's enough is just a joke.

If you can do something about pain and/or suffering, then you're more than welcome to do so.

Decent men are as much of of joke as decent women, though.

>I hope I can be as good as you one day op. Doing the right thing no matter what wen no one can see you and you get No credit is one of the most noble things I can think of.

No, you don't, lol. You're just saying that because you hope that you can continue to do whatever you want to do while benefiting from the belief that "doing the right thing" matters.

It's not our place to judge one another, but I feel like you're still lying, lol.


>you hope that you can continue to do whatever you want to do while benefiting from the belief that "doing the right thing" matters.

And that's called being alseep.

So go ahead.

Lol. I mean, why you gotta say it like that, lol.

Because you totally nailed it.

So, lol.

So, why make it better than it can be stated?

Perhaps don't, lol.

OP can you be more specific on who you're talking about that is getting unearned praise and why you didn't just leave this as a comment on the YouTube video you're mad about?



Not really, lol.

So you have no answer for.

I guess we all answer for it, lol.

No big deal, lol.


It genuinely hurts.

No big deal, lol.

And by that I mean that the shower door collapsed, and I hurt my arm fixing it.

Who is getting unearned praise?

Most people.

Why didn't I just leave this as a comment on a YouTube video?

Because comments on YouTube videos are basically pointless, aren't they?

Just saying.

But at least I fixed it.

Nurturing anger and resentment seems to be the national pastime in America now. Unfortunately it is poison for the individual and society as a whole.

Yes, you have cause for anger and resentment. So does everyone else. But yours is MORE cause than theirs, right? See what a stupid, destructive argument that becomes?

Everyone has cause for resentment. What makes the difference is whether or not you cultivate resentment or drop it and cultivate joy, love, compassion, forgiveness, etc. instead.

We get good at what we practice. Practice anger and resentment and those states of mind will dominate your life no matter what the objective circumstances might be. But by the same process your life can be dominated by the positive emotions.

You have absolutely no control over what other people do. But you have almost total control (with practice) over how you process your experience in life. Your choice.

>Nurturing anger and resentment seems to be the national pastime in America now.

Oh, yeah. It's better than baseball, because everybody knows that baseball is really boring.

And nurturing the idea that anyone can define what "poison" is for any individual or whole is equally a hobby.

Your guess is as good as mine, lol.

>joy, love, compassion, forgiveness

Those are great. I'm all for those. I've been trying to cultivate that shit my whole life.

It hasn't worked out so well, fren, so like, take your sanctimony and cultivate it as well as you can, but don't think it's so easy for everyone if you really find it as easy as you seem to claim it is.

I've been choosing kindness through clenched teeth my entire life, but it hasn't been choosing me, if you catch my drift.

Maybe you don't.

You absolutely don't have any control over what people do. But you hope that whatever it is that you do is met with something better than being punched in the face, you know?

And it's not really your choice whether or not you do.

So process that.

>something better than being punched in the face

Unless you want to be punched in the face.

I guess that's possible.

But I don't. Nor do I want to punch anyone in the face.

Why are we even debating this?

I'm so tired. I've processed my experience in life, and I'm still so lonely and tired.

What are you talking about when it comes to control and practice, user?

You make it sound so easy.

Are you able to understand what regret means?

When you realize that you had everything you could ask for, and you had to question it, so it fell like dead sand through your fingers?

I don't know.

I haven't learned anything from it.

It has not made me a better person.

I don't think that regret has helped me in any way except to make me want to die and do it over again.

Regret is not vindicating.

It is a quiet cancer of broken dreams.

What do you want from me here? Lies?

I have none to tell.

>How come people who overcome particular trouble are more popular than people who didn't have to?
>Are you guys telling me being born perfect in some sense is unrelatable to people?
>Cannot be.....

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Never said it was easy. It is actually pretty hard, especially at the beginning and especially when you have deep seated habitual resentment and anger.

I should have said that nurturing resentment makes people unhappy and divides nations. "Poison" was a rhetorical flourish. Objective evidence supports the assertion that practicing resentment makes people unhappy. So not really just a matter of opinion.

Don't cultivate love, compassion, and friendliness because you expect something good in return. That's a shallow mockery. The deep stuff doesn't really show itself UNTIL you have been punched in the nose. Ever try and release an animal from a trap? In almost every case they will bite the hell out of you given a chance. But you forgive them and release them anyway. That's the compassion you need for the humans that punch you in the nose.

By the way, I am absolutely a work in progress in this regard. But I am better and happier than I once was. And the future looks bright.

I guess I've come off as sanctimonious at times.

I guess I've tried to give advice when the truth is that I may be speaking beyond my depth.

I was only trying to help, though, and that's the only reason I expect to be forgiven for whatever horror-show I have offered in place of the simple shoulder to cry on.

Words seem like such solid objects sometimes we forget that they slip through our fingers as we clutch at dust and arrive at the cold sweat of our our breast in the solitude of a sunny morning.

I wish they meant more than that.

>the simple shoulder to cry on

To be fair, though, that I have offered too.

It's just that nobody wants your shoulder if they think they can do as well with your words, and when you seek one, you are likely to be met with nothing you can wipe your tears on but the back of your hand or perhaps, if you're lucky, a pillow.

This is not a warm universe, from my experience. It is a cold and tinny farce where we spend as much time trying to figure out the best way to kill ourselves as we do believing that there's a reason not to.

I guess I've been luckier than most, and I've had some amazing times.

But in the end, you can't hug memories, and you cant hold a ghost in your arms.



So what do you do? Whisper into the ears of the dead until you become them?

And then what?

Can the dead hold you closer than any of the living who will gladly watch you die rather than risk themselves to save you?

Your experience may differ, lol - and I hope it does.

I honestly hope that what I am feeling is extremely rare, and that most people are relatively happy with their lives.

It's probably naive, but it's still something worth hoping for, isn't it?

>the living who will gladly watch you die rather than risk themselves to save you?

And when they do, is there any guarantee that who they thought you were when they risked themselves is who you would wind up being after you picked yourself up from the the shroud of death?

That's a pretty tough one, and I sure don't know the answer.

I mean, I honestly tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't, and I just sort of sat there and imagined all the different ways I could spatter my brains on the wall, but like... I'm not going to do that, so it seems to be a moot point.

Is that really unusual, though? I mean, do most people not do that?

It seems like something that a lot of people might do, so like I'm not really that uncomfortable admitting it.

Because the most horrible thing about my life is knowing that I must be alive for some reason.

I'd sure like to know what it is, but I guess so would everyone else, so like what makes me think I have any reason to know more than they do, lol?

I mean, you meet a lot of people when you're alive, and some of them make you think they have more of a reason to exist than others, but when it comes right down to it, you know they don't have any more purpose than you do in terms of what they wake up for.

Maybe they just want to find love. Maybe they want to change the world.

Truth be told, you don't really care - you just get the sense that they have a reason to wake up, and you hope that they get whatever it is they want, if not only because it means you might someday.

And that's the only hope you have brewing in your hair-brained scheme - eventually you might get what you want.

So you rule out killing yourself because it's definitely not something that would get you what you want, and you just sort of keep hoping that it gets better.

And that's what life is.

I do children's parties, by the way.

>I do children's parties, by the way.

That was a clown joke.

I most definitely don't do children's parties, because they're usually just some sad attempt by parents who want to recreate things they assume their kids would want and which usually don't work out at all in terms of what the children actually want, which is for their parents to actually be interested in what they think instead of trying to hire some clown to make them happy.

But I mean, I'd still do it for the right price, because at least I'd give a shit about what they have to say, which is more than what most parents do.

Wow, this turned dark, lol.

>Wow, this turned dark, lol.

But still true, amirite? Wabbadoobiedingdong, amirite tho?