Ok guys I have a story to tell you and I need some advice.
>wife and I now married for 2 years, dated for 4 >we had one rough patch before we were married >she was talking to another guy online >I know for a fact they never met up (she’s absolutely retarded with technology and couldn’t hide it if she wanted to) >find out she messaged him again about a month ago >confront her about this >kick her out to her parents
Should I just break it off? It was only a conversation and it wasn’t sexually explicit or anything but talking to him again was a clear breach of trust. We have a prenup and no kids so I’m not worried about that.
A bit of an overreaction but it is probably for the best.
I don’t believe it is. We had an agreement. I’d stay with her but if she ever talked to him again or anything like this ever happened again she was gone.
No. Going to DEFCON 1000 immediately is a bit much. Its obviously a problem, but make it clear that you’re willing to give her a chance to make up. If she sincerely shows that she is better than cheating, let her back in. If she doesn’t, then I guess its time for a divorce lawyer.
what was the conversation about?
They were making conversation about him coming to our city sometime. Not the serious like he’s actually coming but her saying yeah she could show him around
Pic related is some of her apology which I’ve yet to respond to.
Good on you for standing by what you said but it really was the nuclear option. Did she say in her conversations that she was married/taken?
No but he mentioned me saying “Am I being hidden like last time or is he gone?” And she said “neither idk it’s complicated”
And she got some dumb fucking dog for a bit and she was saying she got it because she was lonely while I was at work or whatever. She wasn’t able to care for it properly and it was pissing on my floor so I had her take it back.
>No but he mentioned me saying >“Am I being hidden like last time or is he gone?” >And she said “neither idk it’s complicated”
hmmmmm, shouldn't be too complicated at all
but the thing with women is ultimatums work but you have to stand by nuking everything, and it was always far better to make a woman do what you want by other means
now that you've nuked everything, you taking her back is going to create a rift of problems. Depending on your age, 6 years isn't that much and it seems like you've got nothing holding you down.
I mean unless you found some straight up flirting then I dont see the problem of her agreeing to this. Now hear me out, 1 on 1 hangouts are always a red flag, so dont ignore the fact that she was probably gonna hang out with this guy solo, but at the same time did you give her a chance to tell the guy she had a bf or that you might come along? Theres been plenty of times where I wanted to chill with females I know and they'll agree and then throw out the bf card to make it aware it's not a date. I feel like I need more context than just your girl talking to a guy about seeing the city. Like are they friends? Old lovers? Some random dude? Has she talked to him before? Does he imply anything past seeing the city? How long is he coming out for and why?
Well in the past it was. Found nudes she hadn’t sent me and his dick pics one night. Didn’t bring it to her and did my research to see the extent of their relationship and since they hadn’t actually met I decided based on her response I might forgive her. Here we are many years later.
Oh, dude, are you kidding me? Divorce her, you married a whore, it might be genetic or something so don't infect your kids with that shit.
Then its pretty clear what he's after.
I mean, on the other hand, as a male and a husband- and call me misogynistic or rude, but you have such total power and responsibility over your wife. Your wife feels and does as much as you allow and make her want, and you have probably neglected her to the point where she has settled down into an unsatisfying routine that made her start talking to another man. Sure it doesn't absolve her of any responsibility, she's a lying slut that can't say no but you cannot hate women for being women and it's just more productive to see what you could have done better instead.
You nuked things, you can try the whole 'give me some time with bros to set my mind straight' thing and take her back but hiroshima took several decades to fix and she's gonna be old by then, so will you. And you nuked yourself too, you and your relationship with her, so slowly and insidiously, but that's just how it is.
Then it is a clear violation. You acted correctly, and you should break it off.
>“Am I being hidden like last time or is he gone?” >And she said “neither idk it’s complicated" Yea you did good kicking her out. She told you in the apology that she wants this wonderful life with kids with you, but tells this guy "it's complicated". That's bullshit.
Your path is clear.
Having thought about her response, look at how egocentric she is. The part of the message you posted is her trying to downplay things, then her talking about what SHE wants, and about what she MISSES from you if you left. Unless you cut it out, she said fuck all about trying to understand how you're feeling or trying to make things right.
Hmm. That is pretty suss. I wouldnt full on freak out but my ears would be perked up. The fact that they were flings at one point coupled with her telling him that your relationship is complicated is somewhat setting the field up. You've already acted but a good tip is to apply hr own medicine. Hang with a past fling of yours and see how she reacts. If its passive then it's fine cause that probably means she doesnt see male and female solo hangouts as anything sexual which may reflect back on her hanging with him. If she does then you might have a problem because that begs the question. If she thinks you're going to fuck a girl you're hanging with solo, then what's stopping the vice versa from happening? Do your research man. Women get very stupid and sloppy when another dick gets into the mix. Start microanlyzing everything she says and read between the lines. It's easy to catch women if you actually pay attention.
This, even if she isnt cheating. The fact that she says its complicated when its safe and I love you to death when it's not is some socio shit.
She’s cutrently begging me for hatesex. Should I do it and then leave her?
>oh please, please oh please lick [insert chad's name]'s cum out of my pussy one last time
Nah. It's just a cheap band aid.
"Oh I know you're mad about discovering I may cheat on you, but look! Pussy!"
hatesex is on your terms, this is on hers and trying to make you give her what you want, cuts her more deeply if you don't even want to fuck her anymore, also this
I guess you’re right. I’m barely responding but rn she’s spam texting me about my dick and all that sex shit
Well, don't respond. If you have friends or a hobby, this is where you go into recovery/improvement/think about anything else mode. Let your friends know first, so a) they know why you seem different b) they don't get fed lies by her.
Based. That's how it begins, then while she shows him around, she "accidentally" cheats on you.
Yep. It's ok for your girl to have Male friends but once one on ones start to happen, you cut that shit.
Yeah dont fall for it. An innocent person wouldn't try to appease so hard. Shes in guilty cause caught mode
I officially broke it off. Things will be hard but it is what must be done
If one person in a committed relationship asks another to stop doing something because it hurts them, they should stop. That's it. She didn't and went back on her agreement with you "because she was bored". It's up to you whether you can forgive her.
>overreaction T. Never in a relationship, eh? Or maybe one of those poly types... In my position I'd want to know why. Even if it's just "you're not good enough," I have that closure. Get a reason out of her if you gotta pull teeth to get it.
Personally I don’t care why. I’m a good looking guy, nice job, nice dick. I’ll be fine. Her loss.
You did the right thing, never ever ignore your gut feelings or the red flags. Even better that you broke it off before any kids were involved. It will suck having to write "divorced" on shit, but better than the alternative.
Totes fair and she fucked up and tebequeach, friend, she sounds like she has BPD and I always find BPD girls fuck with dudes.
tell her to stop with the superficialy and say you want to meet up. Grab her waste, say "I love you" kiss her. Go home have sex and then post orgasm say that you don't want her to do it again while rubbing her hair (or more likely her rubbing your chest). It goes something like that.
All sluts get the rope.
Definitely break it off. I know it's super hard given that you're actually married. But this is typical monkey branching behaviour. Flirting with a different guy behind your boyfriend/husband his back.
My girlfriend used to be like this and you have to dump them ASAP. They will always cheat on you sooner or later.