Been with my girlfriend for about 5 months. For a while, she has been worried that she never experienced "butterflies" for me at the beginning of the relationship. She says she really likes me, cares about me deeply, I'm everything she could want in a guy, etc, but she was just worried that she never had butterflies. She said she has also never had a crush on anyone before. I made her come to a decision as to whether the no butterflies thing would be a dealbreaker for the relationship before we get more serious. After thinking about it for a few days, she said it's no longer a concern for her. However, I asked her: "if someone did come along who gave you butterflies, would you choose our relationship over something with them?" She hesitated and said she "almost certainly" would but then corrected herself and said she "definitely would".
she could be the most loyal wife, by your side butterflies or not, just depends on how you act
Forgot to add - it's her first relationship
this should be a deal breaker for you. without knowing any other details, i’d say you don’t sexually arouse her. you want a woman who gets aroused by you because that’s the raw physical connection needed to establish the foundation for the relationship. without that, you’re friends
I didn't have butterflies until a little later on in the relationship when I was really comfortable with my partner and we had a deeper understanding of each other. It really makes the relationship feel special. But maybe I just have a different definition of butterflies
It would be, but she says she is physically and sexually attracted to me.
And add to this that she says she has never felt butterflies or had a crush on anyone, though she does not think she is asexual.
Maybe I'm just trying to salvage the unsalvageable here.
she also changes her answers in front of you to avoid hurting your feelings
she lies because she doesn’t want to hurt you
tough pill to swallow but this will make you stronger as a man to pull yourself up from this
Everyone is different op everyone thinks differently Regardless you're fucked >She hesitated and said she "almost certainly" would but then corrected herself and said she "definitely would". Dump that thot
How many folk ya think keep their first car lifelong? Partners are the same way. Accidents, preference, just plain realizing you're out of your depth by some measure, wanting to switch styles...
The best way to approach a relationship is enjoy the fun now, envision the future endeavours, but always be prepared to face things alone. Having a partner does not exempt you from self-sustaining behavior and mentality.
I mean, you're probably right. Thanks
"butterflies" jesus fucking christ are you serious? you both sound like you need to grow up.
>After thinking about it for a few days, she said it's no longer a concern for her. This means that she spent some time thinking about it and maybe talked to someone who pointed out that there are people who chase butterflies all their lives. I knew someone who would breakup with someone whenever the "honeymoon" period was over because it wasn't exciting anymore.
>However, I asked her: "if someone did come along who gave you butterflies, would you choose our relationship over something with them?" >She hesitated and said she "almost certainly" This was a good honest answer. You're not fucking married yet. Then follow up lie was a practical answer.
If Young Brad Pitt shows up and happens to be everything you are and more while being fabulously wealthy and proposed to her, she might go for it. And that is "almost certainly" never going to happen.
Don't base the relationship on this.
She does, and I told her that. I probably need to too
Well, this is basically along the lines of what I was thinking. She wouldn't be able to say definitively that she'd never date another person, obviously
However, yes, it seems like she should still plan to be completely loyal to me
So which is it Jow Forums, do I dump or is this not a problem?
butterflies is a sign of anxiety, its a good sign she didn't feel it, it means she trusted you from the beginning.
she didn't have a fear that things might not work fighting against her romantic interest, and that internal conflict is what causes butterflies
>Forgot to add - it's her first relationship Yep, there is it. Are you two young? Do you have sex and if so, does she enjoy it? While it's likely that she's just having a hard time getting comfortable since it's her first relationships, she could be asexual or gay and not know it, but it's more likely that she's still closed off
What the fuck are the butterflies
That dude will come along. Do you take the good chance you will be cucked or not?
>What the fuck are the butterflies This. OP EXPLAIN YOU RAT BASTARD
>which is it Jow Forums, do I dump or is this not a problem? It's not a problem. At worst, it's a minor red flag. She sounds to me like she really likes you and believes your relationship can work, but just hasn't really ever dated many other guys. She might have this vague impression that she's "supposed" to feel a certain way and an illogical worry that she might miss out on "something". But then compared that to reality and chose reality.
But if she starts sniffing around other guys, revisit the issue.
ok, thanks. your first paragraph was basically exactly what she said.
I guess I have to deal with the fact that she might always go for another guy, because we're not married Right? Or am i a cuck?
she's talking about the feeling you get of being nervous when you're around someone you have a crush on
I told her that as long as she's attracted to me wants to be with me etc. then it actually seems like a good thing that she didn't have them, because she feels comfortable with me
>I told her that as long as she's attracted to me wants to be with me etc. then it actually seems like a good thing that she didn't have them, because she feels comfortable with me Good answer.
>I guess I have to deal with the fact that she might always go for another guy, because we're not married >Right? That's pretty much part of the definition of being a boyfriend and partly why marriage was invented. The bright side is that if a 10/10 gorgeous woman who is everything your girl and more asks to be your love slave, you can do it too. Almost certain that won't happen though.
>Or am i a cuck? Well unfortunately, this is Jow Forums so you are unavoidably considered a cuck faggot, there's no escaping it.