I love my bf very much but something happened and I don’t know how to mention it or tell him how I feel. We were having sex one night and I know he really likes anal so I mentioned we could try it. He put the tip in and it hurt really bad so I told him stop, it hurts really bad. He kept trying to put it in until I was saying “no stop it hurts” then tried to put it in my vagina when I said no to that because that’s a way to get an infection, to which he said “I need to fuck something” and then grinded up against my ass, still trying to poke in, until he came.
Before anyone mentions it, I don’t think he raped me. I don’t consider it rape, but it did bother me and it crossed a line. How do I mention this to him and tell him it can’t happen again? I don’t want him to think I’m being dramatic or accusatory but it really did bother me.
Tell him he made you felt like a thing instead of a person. Don't put much drama on it, just ask him to worry about your needs. You'd be golden if you finish by saying you can try anal again but in a proper form (it requires lots of foreplay, previous dilatation and anal lube (not vaginal))
I think he felt upset because I mentioned trying it first but couldn’t follow through from the pain. You described it perfectly, put into words on how it made me feel. Thank you so much
Anal can be a great experience but must be done very, very carefully. If you are still into it, tell your bf to cuddle in bed while browsing how to do it. It's actually a procedure with steps. If he acts defensive when you talk, say you love him and your relationship very much, that you are not trying to accuse him of anything, just want everything to be perfect because he makes you very happy.
you know the rules “femanon”
Tell him 'you crossed a line.'
Why do you people fuck people you can't even just... talk to?
a lot of girls would consider that rape. there isnt really anything you could say that would be being dramatic.
Sorry bro that's literally rape. If You said no stop that hurts and he kept going that's raep.
don't go there, OP was clear about not feeling raped and he stopped doing what she didn't want, this train of thought is what makes woman think they are being "raped" when a man sits in front of her with his legs open. just drop it.
He stopped when you said no twice. What is the problem?
Re read it. He didn’t stop trying.
Learn to do your fucking job. Men trade masturbating for your holes in exchange of dealing with your emotional bullshit.
Should have spanked him and told him to wash his dick then try again.
>Before anyone mentions it, I don’t think he raped me. I don’t consider it rape, but it did bother me and it crossed a line.
so what's the "line" if not what separates consensual sex from rape?
Hey you can't do that again, or I going to cut your dick off. No cops no break up, I'm going to cut your dick off. That wasn't okay, I'm not okay. You hurt me motherfucker, you hurt me in my ass, you hurt me in my heart. I trust and love you motherfucker that's why I'm still here. You want a fuckin' ho, there's the door go find one. You wanna be with me, tell me I can trust you, that you are going to listen when I tell you something is not okay, that you are going to stop and check to see if I'm alright, and if we have to stop for the night you will accept that shit.
>Then you make him say it, if he doesn't say it you throw him out.
Good I'm glad we cleared this up, I'm still mad, but I still love you.
>He might need a safe word
Do you need a safe word to understand?
> Choose something you wouldn't normally say, but is easy to pronounce
>Coochiepotato is an example
The line is where you make it. The laws aren't absolute, they are a guideline to make things easier. For instance bdsm would normally be abuse, but people like it and consent to it.
I doubt this is fake because I'm sure this happened to me once IRL, as in someone not stopping.
Break up with him, its hard to get rid of someone face to face, but this seems necessary
good that OP abandoned the thread hours ago so she won't read this nonsense comment.
I was talking about the other comments saying this was fake, I don't believe its fake since this happened to me in a sense, but it wasn't rape. So sorry some people are incapable of communicating huh?
I meant, you suggesting she breaks up with him. Did you actually read what OP wrote? Why would you suggest such a thing?
Couples rape each other all the time, OP. It's perfectly fine and you get over it very quickly. If it's bothering you that much then literally just say that to him. Like literally just vocalize your thoughts.
>Hey that time we tried anal but it hurt. I don't wanna do it again. Why didn't you stop when I asked you to? It really hurt. It's not like I feel you raped me or anthing....etc..
You could literally read your poat out loud while he's in earshot and it will do the job.
I've fucked my gf when she didn't want it, and she's fucked me when I didn't want it. It doesn't feel as violating as violent rape.
How did it cross a line? You told him it was ok so
Just tell him how you feel. There's no sugar coating it or slipping it in easy (haiyo!). He'll either accept it or he won't.
Use lube next time idiot
That's hot imagining the frustration and rage of an erect penis with no holes to fuck. just grinding against your soft phat ass. Pics of ass pls??
is a pretty good way of going about it.
My husband and I both love anal, giving and receiving, and I can give you a few tips.
>It helps to be really fucking horny. Lost of foreplay. Don't start with anal, fuck around a bit first. Have him make you cum beforehand to loosen up.
>Get an anal plug kit. One with 3 or 4 different sizes of plugs so you can ease into it throughout the day and get your muscles used to being stretched. It REALLY helps when you are new to anal.
>Get a comfortable vibrating plug toy and use it during regular sex. Its will train your brain to accept anal pleasure a little more. And also act as a warm-up for the main show.
>Get the right lube. Water-based is good for all toys but can lose its power over time. Silicone lasts a long time and is super slick, but not so good for toys. Use waterbased for the plugs and silicone for the dong.
it's not based on A FEELING its the fucking textbook definition
>He put the tip in and it hurt really bad so I told him stop, it hurts really bad. >He kept trying to put it in this is literally rape whether you have emotions about it or not
You must be really retarded, you are quoting the textbook but OP stated she said "stop" and he did (he just rubbed himself on her ass but stopped trying to go in).
you're scared of talking to this person, why did you think he would stop once you present to him your bare ass?
Do you think rape doesn't exist then because eventually it always stops?
She said STOP then he KEPT TRYING TO PUT IT IN
Can you not read or something?
You know what's more insufferable and retarded than people who think everything counts as rape? Stupid faggots like you who think nothing does.
Ok, imbecile, I am going to go step by step with you so you can get it: > first: He kept trying to put it in >second: until I was saying “no stop it hurts” > third and conclussion: then tried to put it in my vagina when I said no
So, he kept trying to put it in, she said "stop, it hurts", he STOPS, then tries to go to her vagina, she says NO, then he desisted and rubbed himself against her ass. Is there still something yo do not understand? She said stop and he did. Ergo, not rape. Clear, honey?
Dude I don't know what the fuck to tell you The sentences literally follow each other >He put the tip in and it hurt really bad so I told him stop, it hurts really bad. >He kept trying to put it in
Seek fucking help.
You are not reading it all. You are just quoting what's convenient for your conclusion. That's called decontextualize and it's a fallacy.
No, that's what you're doing, when you say >> first: He kept trying to put it in
when that's actually after she already said stop once and therefore not the first thing that happened.
you are fucking illiterate my chum
He definitely violated your boundaries. Honestly what bothers me, even more, is the fact that he said: "I need to fuck something". You are not something, you are his girlfriend. Also, the fact that he kept trying to poke it in is totally disrespectful considering you told him to stop. Talk to him about it. If he gets upset and defensive then maybe rethink if being in a relationship with this person is a good idea.
user, what's the important thing of a rape? What action constitutes the rape? That is, when someone carnally accesses you without your consent. You have read the whole story, right? OP was clear about her not giving her consent and him not doing something she didn't want. She didn't want to have anal sex, and he did not put her penis inside her anus. Yes, he "kept trying", that was his mistake, but consider this was all consensual. And that's why (and this should be enough for you to shut the fuck up about something you weren't present) OP said >before anyone mentions it, I don't think he raped me. I don't consider it rape. You need to polish your brain a little, user. You have the material but for some reason you are just not reaching the correct conclusions. >No, that's what you're doing NO U >inb4 another nonsensical reply just to have the last word.
>Honestly what bothers me, even more, is the fact that he said: "I need to fuck something" Yes exactly, and that's why I insist the issue here is not rape, but it's him treating her like an object instead of a person, as I stated in
Consent was revoked after she said stop the first time. Therefore the action he took immediately after this moment, him kept trying to put his dick in, causing her more pain, and to continue saying stop, because he didn't the first time was NOT consensual.
What's not clicking you fucking retard?
Ok dude, you are clearly Tom Cruise in Minority Report. Think whatever makes you happy, even when OP does not agree with you.
The good thing about OP's feelers on if she got raped or not, is that they're irrelevant to the definition of rape. Which is when you perform sexual acts on a person without their consent, which is what her bf did. The end.
Have a good day, shithead.
Here is your (you) for completely ignoring the reality.
>Here is your (you) for completely ignoring my reality. ftfy and thanks
>my Yes, because I was the OP this whole time.
I talked to him about it and he said it bothered him too, he wasn’t sure why he did it and won’t do it again, and apologized.
How about some strap-on femdom to make ammends now UwU fuck him til he cums from the ass he'll learn to be more grateful
You call that a line? There is supposed to be full blind trust between you and your boyfriend, and he is supposed to be very careful with you at sex, more specifically with your feelings and your comfort. He broke that trust. It's like a mirror, the glass shards are scattered on the ground and there is no way to put them back together without it looking like shit. Regardless of it being rape or not, I would never be able to love someone that did this to me.
That's very nice OP, I am glad things worked out for both of you. Improve your communication about what things you want in bed. Don't close yourself to the multiple options that having sex/making love can offer you. You just need to be well informed about your next steps, such as anal. Godspeed.
LUBE Is it his fault he didn't use lube, or your fault? Either way, a good around of lube up and around your butt hole would solve it. Sounds like guy your with might be too stupid to think of it, Or you're too stupid to say anything. Either way it's both your fault and LUBE is the answer.
Rape is a made up word by humans. In the animal world it's called mating. Humans are the only ones known to rape. Who's the real animal??Enough with the semantics you are all raped by the us government
just tell him
Maybe you just aren't kinky into BDSM and fetishes. Stay basic. Stay boring.
Keked so much at that. Sorry OP but you can't do anal without proper preparation
Just do you duty as a gf and let him fuck one of your holes
hes not gonna listen, he told you the truth, when a guy is hard and worked up hes gonna fuck something and he will do it again. thats the risk we take everytime we lay with a man
Ur bf sounds like a low IQ individual
You are dating an asshole. To the surprise of no one.
Tell him it hurt, and you didn't like it. Better yet, get a strap on and make him feel how you felt.
Threatening your SO with violence never fails to solve relationship problems
If I was in a sexual relationship, I would want my partner to be upfront and honest about things like that, dramatic or not. But I guess I'm a filthy incel who'll never be in one anyway so what do I know.
>Me need to fuck something nao.
Based and gorillabrained
When you get a girlfriend you will realize that it doesn't work that way. Couples have sex all the time when one part isn't into it. Rape is a very different concept and applies more to people that aren't as close. That is not to say that you cannot rape your partner, only that it doesn't work quite the same when in a long term relationship.