Should I just accept this divorce?

29M, married since 2 years. My wife (28F) and I are each other first's. However after our first time 2 years ago she just usually kicks me away every time I try to initiate, we had sex only like 5 times total during our 2 years of marriage. And now she's dropped the bomb on me, she doesn't enjoy having sex with me and wants to divorce. I suggested therapy, counseling together, but she refuses to listen. It's like she hates me and wants me to die. When I try to get close to her even just for cuddles she moves away and shoves me away if I insist. Last time I tried insisting further and she called me a rapist, threatened to call the police if I touched her further. I was FUCKING STUNNED. Since then she's been telling everyone, my own family and friends she hates me and is preparing the divorce papers. I don't know what to do. It wasn't supposed to end like this. I don't know why she hates this marriage, she refuses to speak to me. She just says she hates having sex with me and wants to be with someone she likes having sex with, is that really a reason???

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Mate, it sounds like you're going though a lot of emotional anguish, to which is understandable. You're in love with your partner who doesn't share the same feelings unfortunately. Maybe something has happened throughout the marriage that has made them change their opinion on the future of the relationship, it happens for both wives and husbands.

If she's refusing to cooperate, then it's best to finalise the divorce, since she has no intention on repairing whatever is left of the marriage. Furthermore, the reputational damage isn't something you want to deal with.

It's shit, and you probably envisioned staying with the first person you was intimate with and treasure those memories, but you're still able to find love again even at 29. Prepare yourself for the divorce, be prepared to hear things you rather you didn't have to hear, and lastly, get some professional advice on how to retain your assets.

To be honest, this kind of situation has happened before. Just unironically cope.

>being surprised
It’s like you people don’t listen. I feel no sympathy for the willfully ignorant

do you have kids? if no, you got off easy. if she doesn't want to make it work (and you totally can, you approached this completely right by suggesting therapy and counseling, it helps many people).

either she didn't even think about what it really means to be married to someone (which is unfortunate but it's her own fault) or she had some sort of grand idea that has nothing to do with reality. another possibility is that there's a deep hidden reason. you could try and get it out of her or you could just bounce right now. i am only a young man who has not been married but in your position i think i would leave. sorry dude. but as i said, if you didn't have kids, it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay easier

Wow. It seems like you played the marriage roulette and lost. I hope you don't have kids, get all your money and hide it like a squirrel hides his nuts.

We don't have kids, she made sure of that.

I just don't know why this had to happen to me. I thought her being willing to stay a virgin until being married with me meant I was special to her, meant that this marriage was going to last. And yet she's willing to throw it all away because I'm a sexual disappointment to her. That's it. She hates me for that. I did everything right and I lost everything all the same.

She was virgin until she was 26? Waiting until marriage usually tend to speed up the marriage part, not waiting until 26. Seems like she just wasted your time for no reason. Some women are cruel like that.

We met when was she was 25. I know she was a virgin before me because I broke her hymen our first time, it was a bloody mess.

this is the perfect advertisement for ride before you buy. it used to work out for men since divorce was nearly impossible to obtain for a woman

You answered your own question. By not having sex before marriage you let yourself be tricked into an unhappy marriage. If you don't have sex before marriage you are asking for a bad marriage. Learn from this for your next marriage.

Are you wealthy by chance or have a high paying job? If so, you may have married a gold digger

And since sex was a certainty, whether the woman liked it or not.
Now things are just a mess.

A woman who's a virgin at 25 is guaranteed to be fucked in the head. A turboslut would be way more well adjusted on average

Don't fall for the virgin meme next time.

Stop blaming others lol
Judging by your little rant you are very toxic
Good on her

It’s a good reason OP. Some people think it’s shallow but sex is the most intimate form of communication 2 people can have and if ya don’t communicate well it’s not going to work.

Accept it and move on and try to be better in bed somehow, good sex is mostly dependent on the man. Divorce is awesome when you realize you are getting out of a situation that could have only gotten worse and wasted more of your time.

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Well crafted bait, fren.

>people think it’s shallow but sex is the most intimate form of communication 2 people can have
Also the most intimate way to show your partner affection.
People that claim sex with your SO is shallow and underestimate its importance are just bad at it and coping.

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Force yourself on her, choke her. it's the only way.

You mean rape. Pussy doesn't just get wet. That shit hurts dry. And usually there was violence involved. Promises and threats. Garbage like you would never get married anyways. You have died from the clap or lived your jerking to the paltry ugly women who became actual whores. If you were lucky you might get a young wife before you died from poisoning, with everyone just assuming it was old age.

These fucking clowns are still jealous of you.

Yes, sounds like you either suck or she's gay. The lesson to take away is to get better at sex, and make it a bigger part of your life. Also I think getting married is dumb, but hey people still have success with it. First get divorced and get this lady out of your life. Then get an 8 pack, work out the rest of your body too. Get a sexual education. I mean study anatomy, psychology, and therapy with regards to sex. Become a massage therapist. Seek out masters and gurus. Head to the local sex shop and learn how everything works. Head to sex parties and orgies, to get some advice on your weak areas. Always keep improving.

Ahhh right, but being able to strip a man from his assets and kids, and have him on the hook for child support alimony for at least 18 years is totally fine.

That's the punishment we face for their actions. They can't trust us yet. Don't worry it's not forever.

But was she loyal to you? She said sex wasnt enjoyable but compared to...?

To her expectations of enjoyable sex
I never had sex, only kissed a dude once... and it was so disgusting, I don't to have anything ever to do with again. I need only taste something once to know I hate it and I don't want it

Counseling is definitely a good idea, she needs it, I suspect she has attachment issues or fear of intimacy (which is usually a symptom of the former).
Your expectations are not unreasonable.
I don't mean to pathologize someone I don't know but if this is a trend that started post marriage, it gives further weight to the attachment theory, specifically she seems to be avoidant and would probably do this with any partner.
>accept divorce?
You might need to. It ultimately isn't your decision if she goes to counseling or if she divorces.
Honestly yeah start planning for a divorce to happen and lawyer up.
>25 yo virgin a master of sex
Tbqh I can't imagine someone waiting that long without a religious motivation or some sort of extraneous aversion.

you don't need to be a master of sex to have high expectations
I wasn't a master of kissing before I had my first kiss... but I still expected something much better than the sensation of complete YUCK I had
Inexperienced doesn't mean can't be disappointed

How hot is she, OP? That's the big question here.. I'm imagining one of those good Christian marriages where the girl is a 10/10 and you are a 4/10

Now, THIS is a good question.

OP, thanks. I was about to make the same mistake you did.