How do I slowly create a breaking up situation where I can break up with my gf without being an asshole and honestly...

This

Based Joker

No if she gets her madness on again and throws tantrums like every 2nd week I will just be like " I can't take it anymore" and bye out

just leave her loser wtf you can't stand being an asshole so you want her to feel bad lol and act like a victim

Do it then. But what causes these tantrums, if you dont mind?

Why do you need to create a "breaking up situation" if she randomly throws tantrums

Totally random, that's why I can't trigger them when I want and be done with it. Sometimes it's that I don't like something she does
She hasn't had one in 3 weeks because I was close to breaking up with her last time and I told her that

Just wait for the next one then so you can point out the crazy

You sure you don't have a vagina?

This is the kind of shit women do. Just break up. Tell her you don't feel the way you think you should and that you don't think that will change And you don't want to waiste her time.

But you can be IN an asshole

This

How do I speed up the process

If you prolong it it will hurt more. Just do it clean and dont look back

Keep her up 2 nights in a row so she gets grumpy

Just enjoy things for now I think.
Don't go out of your way to maintain any relationship or whatnot right now though. Make time for yourself with no excuses to hide from her. That will probably trigger something from the sound of things and when that happens you need to say she must take this seriously and work on it either preventatively with therapy, meds etc and she can't be taking this shit out on you.

I had a very similar situation and I would always think next time for sure, next time for sure, but I stayed too focused on her in the meantime and when every little crisis happened i was already too engrossed in her business to realize what was happening. A healthy relationship needs both sides working hard for each other but if it's just you trying to please and her kicking it to the dirt you will stay trapped.

These outbursts may need work but if she isn't prepared to forgive you for not tolerating abuse and manipulation she is seriously not worth the time and energy from you

Good idea, I'll do just that when she's on PMS.

She's taking meds and when she doesn't she's 10 times more insufferable which is a lot considering it's already pretty bad.

I literally do not care anymore, next blowup from her and we are done, I genuinely do not give a shit anymore

I don't believe your commitment to your words.
It shouldn't even take a big 'blowup' at this point.
Outright tell her the second you begin receiving attitude from this girl that she isn't managing her emotions/disorder enough and that it's putting a strain on you and thus the relationship.
Judge the outcome of the conversation for yourself and if it's anything negative in the slightest tell her you're taking you're leave.

You don't need to create any bullshit scenarios to be the victim if everything you say is true; you already are one.

I made this a few days back, read

Dating a BPD girl right now, my first girlfriend even.

>She's mental, she's actually draining my life away. Gets mad at literally everything and loves you like there's no tomorrow 10 minutes after.

>Once she got mad that I didn't believe in her horoscope shit and that I said I don't believe in it at all.

>She got mad once when I said that I'm not a horny and pervy person and she kept saying how I'm not even attracted to her

>She got mad at me for 4+ hours because I cheated in her dream

>We can't go out every day and she does not have any friends or anything remotely close to a social life so she wants to chat 24/7, gets mad if I don't respond in 15 minutes.

>Constantly fights with her mother and her mother is literally 10 times worse than she is, she literally ground her 18 year old daughter, like what the fuck. After fights she badmouths her mother to me and I do genuinely believe her mother is one of the worst people I know. She cries about her mother like there's no tomorrow, 1 hour later she says "But she has her moments" which turns to "I love her she's my mom I have to forgive" and then gets mad when I say "I wouldn't forgive after *whatever*"

>Got mad that I didn't like a show she did

>Gets mad when I compare a movie she likes to one I like because "I'm saying her film copied mine"

>Gets mad when I compare her to anyone else or like say "yeah my friend has that also". Once she showed me some cute scissors for cutting paper and I said "cool my sister has same ones they are cute", she got absolutely mad. She took the "everyone is special, no one is the same" meme too far.

>Constantly makes up stories about her past and exaggerates so I feel sorry for her

>Tried to kys couple of times even when she's having a good day she'd cut herself and then text me apologizing and saying she did it again, refuses therapy and gets mad at me

>Only know her for 3 months

And much more

Do you know what's more disgusting than a liar?
Someone who thinks he is a good hearted bastard by lying to someone.
Retard.

Dude she's actively making my life hell, read

This will 110% of the time explode in your face (through 10% is because it's such a stupid move, in another dimension another version of you has a 10% chance of getting hit by a bus over your dumbfuck move).

Break up with her. Straight up. There is no clean easy way out. Especially with BPD.

And what's bad with waiting for the next mental breakdown and dumping it all out on me and then breaking up? Certainly gonna make me feel better even if only for myself since I won't be such an asshole

Just do the right thing and explain to her like an adult that you are that things aren't working out and you two are not compatible. Stop concerning yourself with this childish nonsence where you have to plot to break up with her. Just do it. If she threatens suicide or cutting then call the police so they can lock her up in the loonie bin and where she will be forced to get therapy. Easy peazy.

I'm guessing this is your first relationship. You're always the asshole when you break up with someone. No matter what.
Your friends will support you, hers will support her (even though she doesn't have any i guess.). That's all there is to it.

>wait til argument
>don’t berate her but don’t let her off easy
>be cold af to her afterwards

That’s literally how I just got broken up with. Over text as well.

I had recently cheated on her because she’s a boring shallow person with no hobbies besides sleeping and instagram.

So I got off easy without being the bad guy. Don’t worry, my karma will take care of me. Sad emoji

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Her friends all just shittalk her behind her back and are all better friends with each other than with her.
She has a thing where if you don't talk to her every day for most of the day she doesn't consider you a friend and she's going to insult and lash out on you because you're not a real friend. Understandably they just insult back and don't care much so she crawls back to them.

I on the other hand bit into the R9K meme and at my current ripe age of 18 I run straight to her because hey R9K said Gf with no friends and social life is good

Just read all of this waiting for another one of these and I'm pulling out the "I can't anymore"

Yeah I'll do it over text as well, cold AF and I don't give a damn, I'll even use the "I gave you so many second chances but not anymore"
And she does run a serious risk of killing herself, tried in the past, that's the only problem I now have

What’s shitty is that I was in your situation a few months ago, I wanted to break up with her, but was too much of a pussy. So I stay, start to fall for her and that’s when she breaks up with me.

Just man up and do what I couldn’t do. She sounds like a horrible partner. Do better king

Well now that i read it, it changes nothing of what i said.
But, my girl, or better say "ex girl" now, since i'm just ghosting her now because she also is bipolar and i bore up with all her bullshit but it reached a level of mental abusing and she ghost me for like 4 days and then she comes back overwhelmed with loving me and fucks me vigorously and then the cycle just repeats.
Anyway, you just need to be honest.
Truth is the best thing you can say because it's shit to lie and and worse to leave someone in the dark.
Just like she did with me.

Also, if you wanna be extra savage, line up the next girl, then breakup with her.

But don’t do that. Also don’t breakup with her over text. That’s for cowards and will fuck her up even more

I did read it. My answer doesn't change. I dated a bpd girl for 5 years when I was 17-22.
Break up with her. Now. I get it, she's toxic. I know it better than even you because I stuck it out.
Break up with her. No waiting, no games. Call her now, say you're done.

Oh and yeah. Ignore every text and phone call and threat. They'll go on for like 2 months. BPD is mostly attention seeking drama. She likely won't kill herself or hurt you.

I don't want to be savage or anything, I want to exit this as scar free as possible, she's just a sweet girl and I'm the big bad man! like you know how the society is currently, I'd get dragged.
Also, has to be over text or voice / call. Can't do it irl, also she can then make stuff up about me doing god knows what, if I do it over phone it can be recorded.

>She likely won't kill herself
She tried killing herself a few times in the past, drank a lot of meds but didn't kill her she got hospitalized, other time she tried cutting herself but grandmother stopped her, did that 1 other time, cuts herself regularly when angered

Dude. Again. Dated bpd for 5 years. And if I may up the ante, studied psychology in University. Moreso I'm 32. I've seen more bpds since then.
She took too many other pills in a dose that wouldn't kill her, didn't she?
Also her cutting, was any of it actually fatal? Are they strikes across her wrist? Or did she full on dig a knife into her wrist and go down the stream severing many veins to insure a fuck tonne of blood loss?

It's a show. Bpds do this. It's all for attention and manipulation. She doesn't want to die. She wants you to think she will if you leave her so you stay.

>Too many other pills
That's "too many otc pills" as in over the counter. Like a bunch of Tylenol or something. Sorry for autocorrect.

Oh and most importantly of all, if she does kill herself. Not your responsibility. It's all on her.
Also if everyone hates her so much you're already Scot free. Seems everyone knows she's kind of fucked up. They won't blame you for this.

No fatal cutting I guess, she doesn't go as deep.
She does however have a few nasty scars on her arm from cutting.

But if it's all for show why did she do it when she was younger when she had no friends no one to play the pity card for?

Then just irritate her in small steps. You should know how by now. When she blows up, escalate. You know she doesn't have a limit on her behavior.

I'll begin doing that if she doesn't do it herself in the next week or so

This, one hundred percent this shit. I had a girl I was dating that I honestly think has BPD. It was the wildest shit, she would transform from the most loving, docile, beautiful woman to an ugly abuser over the smallest problem or obstacle between us. I have no idea how she did it but I went from being an independent man to spending every waking moment worrying about how I could possibly elevate her mood. If she were gone I would worry about what she was doing. I still haven't gotten over this shit, I have random times where my brain switches back to that mode, and I only dated her for half a year.

OP, if I can give any advice --because based on your wording I think that you honestly don't want to lose her but are just frustrated-- remember that YOU ARE #1. Whenever she starts freaking out or her mood turns, immediately remind yourself that you are the most important person to yourself, and not to let her toxicity infect you. Because eventually the situation will turn and you'll be a nervous wreck.

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dont be a pussy just say you dont lover anymore what are you a fucking women make up a lie and false situations to make you seem like you have a reason to dump them your are crazy literally just say i want to break up thats all you need to do

If you're trying to keep a relationship going when you know it needs to end, the right thing to do is to end it now. Stop wasting both your time and hers.

It's not that I don't want to lose her, I already saw how she is and met the real her, no amount of faking it on her part can change my opinion of her. She is a bad person.

Do it with integrity. Tell her the truth. Because the truth is valid. It's affecting your mental health.And it's really okay to protect yourself, in fact it's a healthy response.. If you were married or had children together it would be a different level of commitment but you haven't made a permanent commitment to her. So do it cleanly and honestly.

But she's doing nothing bad right now, she realized I was close to breaking up last time and hasn't done anything since.
BUT I already know what kind of person she is and I don't care that she's nice now.