>she flaked again For fucks sake. I've been trying to go out with her for about a month. I genuinely believe she likes me, always texting me first and shit, being flirty etc. I want to be real and just ask "do you even want to go out or not?" and get a straight answer, but this seems too much like incel rage or something I guess. >just drop her bro I know. We connect really well when we talk. Definitely the most attractive girl that's interested in me. I don't date often at all, not that I'm bad looking but I'm unfortunately very picky.
I'm mostly venting but feel free to give advice as to whether I should send that "ultimatum" text or not. Feel free to call me a fucking idiot.
Flaking once happens. Shit comes up. Twice? Something is going on. Be direct. Ask her if she's really interested, tell her you don't want your time to be wasted
Think I might do that. She said she's going out tomorrow night to a bar with a friend (girl) from high school and invited me to come. I said "sure sounds fun" but now I'm thinking it would be some weird third wheel pseudo date.
What should I text her exactly to sound as not bitter as possible?
Young son I will tell you a secret I have learned from 1000 flakes. If someone agrees to hang out with you and then the time comes and they don't hang out with you by flaking even one time. They do not respect you they do not care about your time you are a joke to them and they do not care. You have to drop them and have respect for yourself.
It doesn't matter you have to swallow this pill tell her to f*** off and block her this clearly isn't the first time she's flaked you in or so obviously you're not losing anything from this person cuz they truly don't give a s*** about you.
You'll find someone who gives you respect this is not the only person in the world. If you follow my advice you will thank me later.
If a bitch flakes even once drop her. She has no respect for you in the least you can do is have respect for yourself.
I hear ya man. I'm starting to get desperate again. She flaked because she was sick for a week and a half, which was verified as she was coughing up a lung when I'd see her and she recently came back from visiting her Aunt a state away which was also verified by her Snaps she sent. I want to give her one more chance, which I understand is stupid. I need a good "ultimatum" text to send to clear the air
>Are you interested in going out? You're a really great girl but it seems like you're flaking a lot Just sent this. Let's see how it goes
Where are you from OP?
This girl is doing the same to me and I'm a bit paranoid like.what would be the odds right?
East Coast US. Don't know if anybody I know lurks so that's as specific as I'm getting. What's your story, friend?
The old "I don't think I'm ready for a relationship" phrase sucks and I hate it. It's pretty much a lie and rejection to save their reputation. I fucking called a girl's bullshit and burned her with words. I was in a similar situation OP, just ghost her and move on to someone else.
>Definitely the most attractive girl that's interested in me. >She said she's going out tomorrow night to a bar with a friend (girl) from high school and invited me to come. Doesn't sound like she was interested in being alone with you. If she was really sorry for flaking on you, she would have scheduled some alone time with you cooking some dinner as some informal apology. >I need a good "ultimatum" text to send to clear the air You shouldn't be sending ultimatums. I would have said, "How about we have a nice quiet dinner instead?" Aaaaannnnnnd she's not interested in you. Go out to the bar with her and her friend. Then flirt with her friend and other women. Go home with her friend or another woman from the bar if you can.
Bruh you beta faggot
Why would you think she would be delighted you wrote this. She is definetly texting chad right now “omg user from math just asked me out. What a creep....so what time are you coming over”
Based and Darkpilled
This, same thing with being late for dates desu. Usually I let the girl know not to waste my time ever those sort of boundries you have to set really early.
Be more hansome and rich next time
Honestly best thing to do right now is to take her up on her offer of going out to the bar and literally just acting like you're there to be her friend. Just be friendly, tell some jokes here and there, talk about whatever girls you think are cute there and whatnot and just chill and drink. If you really like this girl doing this will show her you can handle rejection and you don't have a lot to lose on her not showing direct interest in you, she will either hook up with you or you guys will actually just be good friends at the end of it. As long as you go with the mentality of just having a good time, everything is in your favor. I mean, as long as the invite was genuine. This is part of her shit test on you, but you should also shit test yourself, don't let it get to you guy. All the bitter Anons will say "awhh fuck dat bitch!" but if you like her as a person, keep her around.
Yeah I think I'm moving on Idk I think the ultimatum was good for me. Finally got a straight answer instead of being jerked around. Not sure. I'd be willing to sleep with her but if she wanted to just hook up we would've done it already. Really I'm looking for a relationship right now
I just need a chad right now.
Translated it for you.
Many women are cowards and they do very poorly with direct speech. Try not to fault them too heavily for it, both of our genders have their failings. 'I just want friends' you can believe this shit all you want but the moment they find a guy they really like they're willing to do anything with them. It's not a rule vs exception thing, but in my experience many women will mask how they truly feel with shaky wording, which to men is very confusing because it leaves things open ended, but the woman feels she got her point across. 'I just want friends' shes not interested. 'You're a really great guy buuuut' she's not interested.
>Are you interested in going out? You're a really great girl but it seems like you're flaking a lot >Just sent this. Let's see how it goes Not the best move. Not good text, in my opinion.
She's probably riding chad as she gets the text.
fuck showing her anything and fuck being friends.
PC bullshit, in other words.
Classic. LMFAO. Women are all the same and use the same phrases. "I'm not ready for a relationship". Good shit
Wait so did she have you waiting at the bar or something? What were her excuses for flaking?? Just curious
Some people aren't ready though user. It's more so the case when guys say it, a lot of guys really aren't ready for a relationship so they avoid them. When they get enough life experience to be confident enough in themselves they'll go for it.
If she wasn't ready then why pretend you are ready and waste somebody else's time like OP
She likes you somewhat, but romantically or sexually not at all. Accept it and move on, otherwise you're just going to thirst forever like a dumbass
It's not "keeping it open ended", it's "keeping your ass around in case she hits 35 and can't find anyone else".
Let's review OP:
>but this seems too much like incel rage
>I'm starting to get desperate again.
>Idk I think the ultimatum was good for me. Finally got a straight answer instead of being jerked around.
>Thinks it'll be incel rage >Desperate >Doesn't know >Thinks he can give ultimatums >Turns down opportunity to go out with two women to a bar.
So what should I have said then? At this point I was tired of being strung along for the last month. I wanted a straight answer Grandma had to go to hospital She got sick She got sick Bachelorette party Visiting Aunt Why the fuck would I spend money to go to the bar with a chick who wouldn't date/fuck and her best friend from high school who's visiting? I'm not being a third wheel orbiter
>Why the fuck would I spend money to go to the bar with a chick who wouldn't date/fuck and her best friend from high school who's visiting? I'm not being a third wheel orbiter You aren't obligated to spend any money on her. Stop projecting.
It's not incel rage
it's called being assertive
I suggest you tell her so she can stop wasting your fucking time
it's ok to be a bitter asshole
stop being such a nice guy and tell her to fuck off
I have some set rules on flaking, extending to new friends and new dates. When talking to a new person, I give them a pass on their first flake, give them time, and try again. On the second flake, I leave the person alone until they reach back out. If they reach back out and try to be buds like nothing happened, I'm cordiall, but I'll tell them that if they want a friend, they need to be a friend, and good friends don't flake all the time. In other words, it makes this excuse irrelevant, because that behavior sucks even as a friend. But I wouldn't have been courting a flaky bitch like that for a month like a beta male, OP. Live and learn.
Every single time a woman has said this to me she was dating another guy in a short time. It's just their way of letting you down softly. Of course it's an insult to your intelligence and an outright lie oftentimes but hey that's women for ya. Best thing to do there is just keep your cool and drop em, or use her to get close the her girlfriends. Nothing stokes a womans low interest like competition. Don't give in to the friends line because it's a consolation and you'll likely never be a real friend to her. Just the way it is.
Incels generally don't have the confidence to approach women in the first place.
But assertion is basically being aggressive, and something date rapists and men who can't take 'no' for an answer do.
Have you ever thought that you are the more normal side of the spectrum and this isn't about you. Have patience. Fucker. Just whoa nelly.