My gf is a trust fund baby, and it shows. I found out midway through the year we've been dating and it explained a lot of what I thought was odd.
She's fucking lazy and doesn't work. She has 0 industriousness to her personality. Did a bullshit fluffy major in college for funsies. She lives off of her rich parents and pretty much spends her days shitposting on Instagram and baking.
She's very sweet and empathetic which is what drew me in initially but now I'm seeing it as full blown naivete of the world. I really don't respect any opinion she has in relation to money and she legit has not internalized that people need to compete to survive.
And she's not just some upper class person who's parents are lawyers or doctors or whatever. She legit inherited everything, her mom inherited everything, and it just goes on and on. It makes me not want to compromise on her with major decisions like moving together or relocating since $3k to me is not the same as $3k to her.
>in b4 you hit the lottery user you're dating a rich girl you're set
If dating a rich girls means I have to put up with her airy champaign socialist bullshit and lack of grit then fuck it. I never wanted her money nor do I, Im an educated professional and I'm doing just fucking fine.
How old are you two? She's going to have to get a job eventually, and she'll learn and mature at that point. If you're unhappy in your relationship, then its time to break up.
Im 26 she's 27.
>cooks for you >rich >has a place of her own
Are you retarded?
I cook for myself and I cook for her most of the time actually.
Her "place of her own" is her moms house.
I think you already have a justified reason for wanting to leave that relationship. You could try to compromise and get her to work a job that gives her more life experience but from what I'm hearing she's fairly lazy and she'll need to be really motivated to do that. You could try to get her to have a productive hobby or work with productive people but desu I think talking about some of the issues you have with her decision making would make stuff clearer? Who knows though.
Why haven't you put a baby in her? She's not doing anything else you tard.
sounds like you're jelly
you have chance to marry into generation wealth to someone who is kind and you find attractive
you're a retard
it sounds to me like above wealth and sweetness you want someone with a bit more world experience - someone who seems a bit more "real" for lack of a better word. there's nothing wrong with that, it's just your personal preference. hell, i'd say someone who spends all day baking and instagramming is only one level above someone who sits at home playing video games all day, to me they're both incredibly unfulfilling lifestyles, just one is likely a bit more hygienic than the other.
in that case, it depends on how rich her parents are. if eventually she'll run out of money, is right - when that money runs out she'll have no choice but to start working. if her parents were mega rich, get out of the relationship now because she'll never enter the real world and you'll be stressing out over this the rest of your time with her.
Generational wealth doesn't just run out unless you're absolutely fucking up. Unless OP's girlfriend has a drug or gambling habit, she's not gonna have to work
Bro, I feel you to a point. At least your gf has the old money to back that attitude up. My gf acts the same way, and all she does is play vidya and make cookies, she's weak as fuck and crumbles fast than a house of cards in a hurricane when things don't go the way she expects it in life. >she gets a b+ on test but expects an a without any studying >cries for days I do all the house stuff and take care of the dog she decided to get. What fucks with me the most is that her parents are blue collar workers. Roofers. She's been treated like your gf all her life and did a good job of hiding her full personality until we started living together. Now I'm fucked for a year until the lease is done and I can move the fuck away.
Walk away if you can, if not give her a kid, that will busy her up.
Everything you described is what most women do user, even without the trust fund.
>My gf is a trust fund baby, and it shows. I found out midway through the year we've been dating and it explained a lot of what I thought was odd. How do you know she has money, and how do you know the trust fund part isn't made up?
>I really don't respect any opinion she has in relation to money and she legit has not internalized that people need to compete to survive. Competition is good, but she's just competing on a more different passive level.
>If dating a rich girls means I have to put up with her airy champaign socialist bullshit and lack of grit then fuck it. You have a great opportunity to slowly redpill her user.
>Im an educated professional and I'm doing just fucking fine. Seriously though, did you two have a fight regarding this?
>How do I navigate this? Proceed slowly and carefully.
>How do you know she has money, and how do you know the trust fund part isn't made up? I've hung around her family enough to know. She told me about the trust fund.
>Seriously though, did you two have a fight regarding this?
We butt heads regularly on this when she goes on her sjw rants about how rich people are bad and socialism is good while driving her Porsche and shopping for designer clothes
A rich woman is the only kind I would ever be interested. If it meant I didn’t have to work ever again and she paid for all my shit, sign me up
You're supposed to marry into money. Money and connections is the only reason to marry a girl. Don't buy into the institution they're selling you of the disney fairy tail and debeers propoganda. That hallmark shit. You marry UP.
As someone with a trust fund who's afraid of being like this - how did you become industrious? And what do you mean about people needing to compete; do you mean just in the job market, or elsewhere?
>We butt heads regularly on this when she goes on her sjw rants about how rich people are bad and socialism is good while driving her Porsche and shopping for designer clothes
From what I'm gathering, either she's projecting own feelings and experiences, just dumb, or both. Rich people do play by a different set of rules, practice corporate welfare, buy politicians, etc. I doubt she does any legit charity donations, not that bullshit tax avoidance scheme Bill gate and Mark Zuckerberg does.
Again, I think you could redpill her slowly. I don't know the extent of butting heads with her, but if she's putting up with you this long then it seems to have some benefit her somehow. Just speak very matter of fact like, and don't get upset with an occasional backhanded compliment.
My family is a touch old money (farming, property) which has spread a bit amongst the younger generations into contracting and some other quite random businesses. A lot of the extended family do things like horse podiatry or dentistry, exotic gamekeeping and everybody seems to do pretty well. We've all been raised with a stupidly intense work ethic, but with the notion that you should only invest significant time in things you care about. I suppose it comes from the luxury of being able to try different things, be exposed to different experiences, be allowed to take a risk and to fail without it being the end of the world. The notion that any one of us wouldn't want to work is absurd, but the idea that any of us would be trapped by a mundane job or work for the sake of work or money is equally absurd. Some of my relatives sit atop land and personal wealth which would mean nobody ever had to work, but they all do. You'd think you could tell too, but they wear worn out hand me down clothes from decades ago, maintain vintage cars that are 50-60 years old as a labour of love, grow their own vegetables, keep their own chickens, again ... things which in the modern world are quite a luxury, but many would assume backwards and weird. It is only when you realise the clothes while worn would have been quite expensive and bought from shops that normal people don't frequent, realise that people keep horses, race horses, sit down to a family dinner table that looks like it is out of a film set and ... things like that and realise that people aren't stressed out and have quite a lot of free time to devote to things like selectively breeding exotic vegetables in the victorian glass house that uncle elgar built with cousin william, part of the glass was recovered after a grand fire in 1930 shortly after your great grandfather returned from the war that you realise they are clearly well off.
>how did you become industrious?
Everyone in my family is a working professional from engineering to lawyers to doctors. My parents taught me pretty fucking early on that while we do have it good ourselves, nothing in life is free and you don't get something for nothing.
The pressure was on me to be as financially independent as possible and support myself. Study something useful, focus on my career and just climb the ranks in any way I can.
None of that is especially hardcore. In my opinion it's rather normal. When I say industriousness I simply mean the capacity to apply yourself to something productive. I couldn't give a shit if my gf wanted to start up a little shop or volunteer or be a type A corporate hustler, just fucking DO SOMETHING. Anything.
When i talk about competing, i mostly mean in education, the market, but the mindset translates to other aspects of life. Imo the principle of building yourself up, and beating out the competition in getting the best grade, getting that job interview, is very anti-egalitarian and goes against the "everyone is a winner smiles and hugs" mentality that my gf exemplifies. If I internalized that shit I wouldn't be able to afford anything I have right now.
How has it impacted my life? Firstly I've never noticed or paid any attention to the typical trappings of wealth, flashy clothes, cars, jewellery etc. I notice good manners and people who can do things and give off a quiet confidence. That is what I care about, what are you doing in the world? What are your passions? I was raised to see expensive things without practical function as something vulgar. I also tend to ignore and go completely above people who are defined by their profession and seek to use it to put people into slots. Again, I was raised to find people who seek prestige through title rather than action vulgar. I don't care if somebody is a doctor or a professor just because they are a doctor or a professor, I'm interested in what they are doing and how they are doing it and how that manifests in the world. Also, you work. Even if you are just at home, you wake up early and you finish late, you should almost always be doing something constructive, building something, repairing something, learning something, helping somebody ... anything other than being worthless which is the worst thing to be. Having people rely upon you and seek you out for your competence and abilities, having a reputation and being part of your community, having a name is really important. If you are going to do something, commit to it and try to be comparable or better than others in the field, be an authority. Also food, drink, kind of tiresome indulgences, more a distraction. Shopping? Beneath me, for people satisfied with vulgar things. Money is just a thing that is there when needed, the real value is in finding something that is worth spending it on.
Kind of weird I guess, but it makes sense to me? Women like me ... but I think the idolised version of what they think life is like is very different to the reality. Nearly all of my family are extremely judgemental, outspoken, rude even and respect is hard won amongst them. They are almost all emotionally distant too.
Thanks for responding. I want to absorb more of that mindset and that gave me some motivation.
It sounds like both of your positions are too one-dimensional. Hers is based on the illusion of safety: not recognizing that if she doesn't make use of the great wealth she has, it'll be destroyed eventually. Your position seems to be based on the idea that everyone wants the same thing and they can't be happy unless they make others envious. It's definitely true that nothing in life is free. But maybe her worldview is based on some truth that you're refusing to see. If you dislike her choices in life and the way she acts, that's one thing, but a purely ideological conflict shouldn't be such an obstacle in your relationship.
I once dated a trust fund girl worth 30 million stayed in the game for 7 years b/c of it even when she drove me nuts I was happy when she broke up with me desu it's really not worth it just stick with normal a qt you'll be happier