my boyfriend kept pressuring me for sex stuff and guilted me by saying i was broken and it was normal until i was "OK" with it then pushed until i said no then did it again anyway even though i said not to do it again
i am still with him
this will never be healthy now will it
No, he's just using you. Break up.
I bet you make a great fucktoy with your lack of standards, respect, and weak mind.
1. How old are you?
2. How long have you been together?
i was heavily abused and miss a lot of social stuff or just kind of freeze up. like those rats they put in electric boxes then give them the ability to escape. they dont bother trying. they just accept the suffering. its a dissociation thing.
25. 4 years. i stopped caring about it 2 years ago and think i like sex now except i dont feel good about it really.
You deserve this fate. Better learn to fuck like a champion.
I wonder what nicknames he has for you, Fleshlight.
What kind of sex stuff? What you consider normal sex or not?
Even so, sex is part of most relationships. If you’re not ready for it then you should say that up front.
How does she deserve it idiot?
No wtf
He basically doesn’t respect you, end it, or talk with him about it, if he doesn’t change you better get out
i did
i wouldnt agree to a relationship prior to that
i told him i didnt like it/was uninterested/about abuse stuff and he was like thats ok i dont need that
but then he pushed for it later anyway even though i had weird dissociative/panic episodes and kept asking him to not do it again but he did it again anyway and now i accept it but my organs feel bad
She’s obviously a broken woman, her only use as a sex toy is promised.
just for sexual stuff when i said i didnt want any of it i told him i was basically asexual i dont even like masturbating it makes me dissociate and feel bad and will make me fuck up my life/job/etc. if its bad enough
why am i even here
You don’t deserve a relationship. You have a single purpose, and you’re a failure at it?
Just go live your life alone and get some cats.
i just wanna farm goats but i liked having someone to be nice to and do stuff with
giving him gifts
taking naps
but there is something sick and my guts hurt
You sure you don't have a hormone imbalance? Either way life is short don't spend it being miserable. Get that goat farm don't worry about a damned commitment
This guy sounds like a real asshole. You don’t deserve this user, you deserve to be happy with someone that makes you comfortable
You need a co op or some shit. Not a relationship.
Most women go through some kind of sexual abuse, she’s not “broken”. It’s just her past experience and lack of self confidence.
Even so, there is no way she “deserves” to be treated like this idiot.
please break up with him or talk to him about it, i think you're a very sweet girl an don't listen to the ones being mean in this thread. i think you deserve better and can get with someone better and who feels the same way you do about sex or is okay with it. you can also talk to him about it but please be careful and don't let your guard down that he's changed.
That’s ok user. Maybe you aren’t ready for a romantic relationship. Maybe build yourself up with platonic friendships with people (and men) and get your confidence slowly.
This guy is an asshole, but not every guy is
i do but i was also really perversely abused which might be related to the existence of the imbalcne idk my cortisol and shits fucked too supposedly adrenaline stuff from ptsd constant body on alert blah blah blah
i talked to him about it and now everything is weird but im also not allowed to talk about it anymore either
She does deserve this treatment. She is unwilling to change and face her demons thus this is what she gets out of life. Don't blame me that she is useless and unwilling to make any respectable changes in her life.
Did you get your mouth fucked when you were 5?
among other things
>also not allowed to talk about it anymore
what on earth? he sounds really controlling OP :\
please stay safe, i don't want you to get hurt. he could get all lunatic/mad/stalker up on you
he said it makes him feel bad and asked me not to bring it up again
well i'm not doubting him because i don't know him from atom, but still be careful. i've had a lot of bad experiences with guys who manipulate and they've done stuff just like that.
also are you two very serious? if things don't change and you're still unhappy then you should break it off with him before it hurts too much to leave. also if you're hurting go see a doctor :(
this is the only person ive ever been with i also didnt really have friends so i dont really have social exp
i dont know what serious means i think i am supposed to have 1 only ever also he got really catholic and started pushing christian beliefs like 2 yrs ago and if ind them really hard to dislodge from my mind now
i started seeing some person recently but there is a lot they are concerned about and i havent really brought this up i cant bring up any sexual stuff to them sorry
>my boyfriend kept pressuring me for sex stuff and guilted me by saying i was broken and it was normal until i was "OK" with it then pushed until i said no
You have traumatized and are different from average, he needs to respect that.
>then did it again anyway even though i said not to do it again
Let's come back to that.
>i talked to him about it and now everything is weird but im also not allowed to talk about it anymore either
>he said it makes him feel bad and asked me not to bring it up again
I understand his position, giving him every benefit of the doubt, but if it is an ongoing issue with you, it needs to be brought up. You aren't going to be healed just because it's an inconvenience to him. You need to take steps to get past this or break up with him. He needs to give you time to take steps to get past this or stop pressuring you.
Now, about that bit earlier. If your partner is doing ANYTHING that causes you pain, you can ask them to stop and they should stop. The FUCKING end. And it works both ways. If you were doing something that caused him pain, like detailing your therapy sessions to him, and he asked you to stop, you should.
He might not be a bad guy, he might not be a bad boyfriend, I don't know, but he is not helping you through this.
He is plowing you through this.
he isnt pressuring me for it anymore because he just initiates and there is no resistance/i participate now
but something still feeds bad and i usually feed bad after
What do you mean you were heavily abused? What happened and who did it?
He should just drop your ass and find a partner that actually wants to have sex and isn't a dysfunctional mess. If you only want to give him half of a relationship then you're not worth the bother.
Jesus Christ you're a cunt. Attitudes like this is why you'll never have a meaningful relationship in your life.
I think OP has major mental issues and shouldn't be in a relationship... for now at least
>sexually abused person is disgusting for not giving into their abuser and abandoning their own sense of self worth to be some assholes cumrag
Shut the fuck up and don't even bother offering your crappy advice you 10 year old mongoloid
this is too long to detail i was raised by bad people in a shitty white trash area + got taken out of school which let stuff get really weird cus no authority figures around to give a fuck just a bunch of weirdo methheads
i told him that at the beginning and he was OK with it. i wouldn't have agreed if he wasn't OK with it. when he started pushing for it i remember crying and telling him if he needed that he needed to find someone else a bunch of different instances. then i started trying really hard to train myself to like sex but now i just feel physically ill and i hate touching myself and my organs feel bad.
>there is no resistance/i participate now
>but something still feeds bad and i usually feed bad after
Okay, but that feeling bad needs to be addressed.
Still not seeing a "smoking gun" that he's an asshole and not just a sexual man trying to "work through" the problem.
But you need to address it.
It's not fair to you for the sex to continue without improvement in your experience of it. It's not fair to him for sex to stop and no progress to be made.
You have an issue that needs addressing. I highly encourage you to seek help, possibly professional help, addressing it.
It's time to get busy living.
Move away, get a new phone. You dont owe him anything.
i dont have anyone else. i have no family and no friends and no attachments to the world really besides him. i get worse in some ways without him because i start to drift away/detach/dissociate. but with him i constantly feel like my uterus is swollen and rotten with grotesque imagery and it hurts.
i need some other attachment or to accept that i am not supposed to be alive.
>with him i constantly feel like my uterus is swollen and rotten with grotesque imagery and it hurts
Wtf
i talk to therapist we cannot talk about these issues we are not supposed to touch things that make me have the freakout episodes and even getting close to that makes that happen so they want to work slowly towards that so i cant tell them about this at all
physical pain/sensations + invasive thoughts in imagery/body mapping or something it is hard to explain sorry
basically being around him has been a constant trigger of re-experiencing someone doing something very bad to my insides. sometimes it is like background noise. sometimes it is very in my face.
Punctuation is your friend.
I take it that you are slowly working through this with a therapist that respects your issues.
That sounds reasonable.
What do they have to say about your boyfriend's plowing in the meantime?