My wife of and only gf that I've had since highschool is flirting with a guy at her work. She told me about him and was upfront saying he's just a friend and she would never do anything to jeapordize the marriage or kids. She says we don't connect emotionally and only physically.
I don't want her talking to this guy. I want to be the only guy in her life but not sure if this is the right path or if I should just end it. I've known my wife for 15+ years and married for over 10 with 3 kids. I told her I'd try to change but she says I'm smothering her if I try to do romantic things.
I don't know if I can ever make her happy like this guy does but I also don't know that if her having this friend is good for our marriage.
Definitely break up. She doesn’t care about you or your marriage. It’ll be tough explaining to the kids that their mom cheated but they should learn early that all women are whores.
This. If you don't show your children how a man removes negative influences from his own life, how are they supposed to trust and respect you, let alone learn how to do it themselves?
>She says we don't connect emotionally and only physically holy shit fucking women man, they say the dumbest shit i swear
Women flirts with guy, he’s a friend...
No guy is friends with a women unless he’s gay he’s trying to fuck your wife or already has. Flirting isn’t emotional it’s physical? Wtf does that even mean she’d probably fooled around with him. She gets annoyed if you try to be romantic? It’s probably over man sorry
You should make every attempt to preserve the marriage. You are accusing your wife of being unfaithful because she talks to a man, yet you are willing to end a marriage on an unsubstantiated assumption?
if she is flirting with him he isn't just a friend but a sexual prospect
>unsubstantiated assumption You mean her fucking admission? Wtf is wrong with cucks
You said she admitted to talking to a guy and you made the assumption that she was romantically flirting with him, which she denied by saying that he's just a friend and that she wouldn't jeopardize the marriage.
I’m not op, but >She says we don't connect emotionally and only physically. In your mind, what does this mean? She’s at least touching him. At worst having sex with him
I understood the "we" to be referring to him and his wife, not his wife and the other person, meaning that the wife connects emotionally to her friend, but physically to her husband.
I see. I read it as; “she says, ‘we (wife and coworker) don’t connect emotionally and only physically.’”
She only connects physically with me but emotionally with this other guy. I do want to make the marriage work and am not sure if I'm just being crazy
I think the other reading is more likely. If OP and his wife have 3 kids they obviously must have connected physically, and his solution to the problem is trying romantic things to make her happy rather than buying things to enhance physical pleasure. Also the lack of quotation marks would suggest grammatically that this is not a direct quotation.
She’s going to divorce you and take the kids. I think you know what to do, OP.
That’s pretty rough. Pretty much means she loves him but gets off to you because she has to
I don't think that is necessarily true. It is possible for a woman to talk and even connect emotionally with people they aren't romantically in love with. If the opposite were true, it would be required that women never leave the house and never speak to other men.
You can be a cuck if you want. If my *wife* was flirting with other men, I’d leave her and let her have a life with that guy which is obviously what she wants
Go to couple counselling. Tell her that you have children together and you *need* to put work in this shit, for them.
I felt similarly to your wife, but wasn't married and didn't have kids. I broke up and don't regret it. If you want to know what I personally missed - he never listened to me. He didn't understand shit about me. He took me for granted. He was very critical of the person I became, and didn't have faith in me as a person.
comeon guys. OP posted the same thread earlier in the week, hes now getting the same type of responses and answering the same.
Yeah leave her dude. I'm sorry but if you guys aren't connected with atleast 2 outta the 3 importants in a relationship then it's time to go. You cant be connected mentally, physically, and emotionally fully, but atleast 2 of those need to be healthy established with your partner.
Who is the bigger cuck? The person who trusts his wife to talk to male friends and maintains his marriage or the person who assumes that such talk must be flirting then abandons his wife over it so that she is forced to not sleep with her husband?
Nah man fuck that. I refuse to let you ride my dick and then see you telling a guy sweet nothings. A woman will indulge her emotions before logic so while cheating may have not happened yet, theres a good chance. Especially if this just some random as fuck co worker
this it almost makes me believe in stoned ape theory it's so dumb
The guy who lets his wife work and fuck other men behind his back
Everything about your posts makes me think you're probably overreacting to something she said because you truly believe "you should be the only man in her life." Which is dumb.
Can't believe you married your first girlfriend either, dumbass.
Huge red flags dude... You should've set boundries, let her know that its over. Never ever allow a women to cheat on you and get away with it
She hasn't cheated. We aren't even sure she's flirting here.
She's going to, and it won't take long. She's already told OP she doesn't connect with him emotionally. Unless OP manages to somehow turn his marriage around, she's going to be slobbering on this schmoe's knob in no time.
Sucks for you OP. Maybe consider some kind of group therapy, but to me when she says she doesn't connect with you emotionally that's an admission of no longer loving you. Keeping the marriage intact for the kids and presumably medical benefits etc isn't love.
If a women says something like that then she's already cheated a while ago... She has absolutely no respect for OP by doing what she's doing
This. It was over before you even knew about this op. She’s just trying to ease you into it and release her guilt a little
Don't listen to this fucking woman. You're being played. If you want a shot at saving the mar-riage then draw the line clear and don't look back if she chooses the loser instead of the family. No ifs or buts, it's either you or fuck her, the unfaithful witch. Support the children well and tell them straight up their mom is acting very very badly against papa. Take no fucking compromise. Set the foot down and enforce your rule. And from now on whatever the outcome, always treat her like shit with a heavy hand and make her follow you for the crumbs, IF she wants to. Otherwise it's so long and fuck it. Don't ever trust it again.
Either way it's fucked up.
It's cheating no matter what. What connection is stronger than the emotional? You're not being crazy, she is. Save the marriage by clarity and strength, not by weakness and "compromise". It's either you or that fucker, no two ways about it. Being weak and trying to "mellow" her down will only make her reject you (more). Lay down the line and stand your ground. I know it's very very hard but this is a moment for men. Think of the children but don't be weak. She doesn't want to stay? Let her go. She does? Well then here are the NEW rules. Oh and another thing. ANYONE not siding 100% with you on this is against you, FOR her and totally against your children. Spit those fuckers out like scum in the mouth. I mean family, relatives or friends. Be calm and keep cool, if anything for the children, and tell her straight how it is. Her choice, the bitch. That should get you started.
Fuck off, thot. What do you think got us all in the fucking mess we're in?
OP, listen to NO women.
The first one's a cuck, the second one takes no shit.
>She hasn't cheated. We aren't even sure she's flirting here. Says who?
He’s a reddit cuck who pretends everyone here is on his side by grouping us into “we”
Figures, thanks. Those reddit cucks are a nasty little bunch, aren't they.
There are lots of them on this board. Oh well
What the fuck happened? I don't remember this many of them here some time back. It's like a fucking invasion.
Idk. I feel like it really picked up or happened within the last 4-5 months but I didn’t keep great track of it. I don’t think they’re leaving anywhere because if history has shown anything, it’s that once something becomes popular it only becomes more so over time until it absorbed into the larger culture.
Not only that. What I dread is the fucking mods banning people left and right when "political correctness" is enforced here. Maybe forced "registration" after that as well?
I can only imagine how awful this place would be with forced tripfaggotry. The thought makes me shudder. And yeah. Banning is ready pretty prevalent here, although for the time being it’s easy enough to skate the rules and be left alone.
Bad situation dude. Why doesn’t she connect emotionally? Did something change, did she just get tired and lazy, or did she figure out you guys just aren’t that compatible
You guys are idiots that have never been married. Not saying they should stay together, but every couple should split when someone flirts a little?
You are a fucking moron
>Banning is ready pretty prevalent here, Oh? Expand? I see I won't stick around on this place for long anymore, that being the case. Something else should show up.
I frequent here and /lit/ the most. Anything overtly political, ironic or not, will earn you a ban. I understand the those topics generate discussion not usually conducive to the particular board’s subject, but the mods and jannies abuse that line of reasoning and ban things that even vaguely resemble politics. I think for the time being, however, Jow Forums mods have given up banning incel-posters simply because there are so many of them and they generate so much of this board’s traffic. I’ve been banned for ironic Incel posting and I won’t be surprised when it happens again
Who does she live? Op, or the guy she is flirting with? Pick one and only one.
>I told her I'd try to change but she says I'm smothering her if I try to do romantic things. When women say this, it is always a bad sign. Dont know how to help you bud, have the same problems. Most it just seems that they dont love you anymore
Listen OP, most anons here are either shitposting or overreacting.
What she is doing is not optimal, but you have to be careful. Confrontation can lead to her being pushed away further. However, if she still respects you, a good convo and concrete steps can help. Counseling can be a good, more serious option too.
If she shows signs of totally apathy you can try to find the cause or start considering divorce, but that would be the final option and ONLY if she shows apathy or blatant disrespect to your attempts to improve the marriage.
Best of luck OP!
Maybe neither. Kids are involved and it’s not so cut and dry.
Also like to add to my statement that modern day women increasingly think that marriage is only honeymoon phase and total compatibility. But that is not how marriage works. People can have hot and cold periods, not be completely compatible or develop a deeper connection. Throwing this meaningful connection away for hedonistic fun is not worth it. It shows poor impulse control.
Not talking about bad/forced marriages or abuse here of course.
You’re right. The guy at work probably has a bigger salary than op and can provide a better upbringing for her kids. Sorry, op. You were outdone
Get a lawyer. Start looking for and collecting evidence of cheating in the event it does happen. It's a lot harder for her to get exclusive custody, take your shit and garnish your wages if she's fucking around. Though it's not utterly impossible that you can put off divorce until the kids are out of high school, or even for her to come around.
It's pretty simple: a- try to fix your marriage by changing yourself to be more romantic and caring about her more b- if that doesn't work, man up and face the consequences of marrying someone that you don't have complete trust in. Divorce her bitch ass and look for a genuinely good relationship. You're definitely in your early thirties which means you still have a long life to live so get depressed and then recover and make your life great.
The OP's kids though...
>She only connects physically with me but emotionally with this other guy
That's good news. I think she's trying to say that he's not sexually attractive just fun to be around. Women are more into emotional infidelity, men are more upset by physical infidelity
People at work flirt, subtly or otherwise.. Mixed gender work situations are horny as hell. That's just how it is. You and your wife seem to have autism or both bring extremely naive, which is cute. Real love can only exist between two virgins I think so be thankful.
Anyways uhh if they aren't fucking and they don't talk outside of work it's probably fine. But honestly, as a father of three you probably understand that getting a divorce isn't the worst thing for you. Would even be a relief. But would be terrible for the kids. So tell her to cool off the relationship if she doesn't want to fuck up the kids with your inevitable divorce.
Is there a girl at work you talk with?
Dumb. Other guy could be gay or happily married himself. The problem is his wife, is the relationship salvageable or not. The fact she said they didn’t connect emotionally is...not a good sign
The relationship is gone. It’s only a matter of where his ex wife goes
In a number of states divorce is no fault: cheating is irrelevant
I’d tend to agree with you as well. There might be hope...but wouldn’t put money on it.
Hard to come back from a deficit where the woman isn’t emotionally connected: probably took her years to get here
Really, then it HAS started. Just wait until reddit mods go up in the ranks here in enough numbers. I'll start to look for alternatives then. Any thoughts?
>However, if she still respects you, That's a laugh.
Op here. She allowed me to go through her phone. The guy says really stupid shit to make her feel special "I thank God you came into my life, I feel like a better man with you"
I told her she can talk to the guy but to not hang out with him and that I can check her phone whenever I want. She agreed.
I know I depend on my wife a lot and I don't know how to be "alpha" but I think that's what she wants from me.
She tells me that I don't have depth to my personality and that she just wants to relax and be a girl and do her own thing instead of always taking care of the kids and myself. She wants inside jokes and she wants me to teach her and "expand her horizons". I love her and want to be with her and trust her that she's not fucking this guy but I don't know how to be better. I can see where she's coming from but I feel lost as to what to do. If she leaves me then sure but I want to give 100% of my effort in trying to make it work so that my kids won't suffer.
C U C K. That's my advice. Good luck.
Naw man. They killed eightchan which was the only viable alternative in terms of traffic and content. Wizchan is neat but not an alternative at all, and mostly comprised itself. Technically, eightchan is hosted on zeronet last I knew, which is like p2p Internet or something. It was too buggy for me so I have up. I’ll probably just give up the internet when it gets too bad unless a clear alternative is presented and a real exodus happens. I fear the end may be nigh, though
>She tells me that I don't have depth to my personality and that she just wants to relax and be a girl and do her own thing instead of always taking care of the kids and myself.
Kek, are you taking care of the kids and/or sitting at home? These roles should be reversed user.
>She wants inside jokes and she wants me to teach her and "expand her horizons".
BS women talk. I'd like to think I am relatively intelligent and tried to expand some girls' horizons, but that mostly just meant dumb modern art shows or faux-spiritual crap.
Congrats. Now she just won’t send nudes and shit on her phone. They still have an unbridled line of communication at work. Enjoy the cucking
If it's as you say with the fucking mods, and I trust you and believe you 100%, then it's fucked. The end of this place as we knew it is at hand. But don't worry and mark these words, Something good for us always shows up.
4+4 chan is coming back though
Op here again.
She ended up telling her parents and brother about us and her parents straight up called her a whore and said stick with the kids because she's chose her role in life and now she has to see it through because it's selfish to ruin their development just so she can have an excuse to open her legs (her whole family is pretty brutal and logical). The brother told her to be upfront about everything because as a caregiver I deserve to know everything even if it'll do more harm then good. She broke down and apologized when she came home with the kids after they went to bed.
new and improved, right?
There is a lot to unpack here, I’ll assume it’s not b8 only because it’s so dumb it makes me think it’s real.
You’re saying she wants you to be more alpha, but the guy is actually being attentive to her, not alpha. Her responses seem realistic for a woman living years where her husband is asking /adv for advice.
She isn’t sneaking around, she just seems to have grown more than you have.
Why don’t you talk to her, do fun stuff. Travel, get to know her more.
She has been living for years taking care of everyone, she is tired of it and really just wants attention and let loose.
Can you blame her?
I think chances to salvage this are non zero, but you have to really re think your outlook
Proof? Don’t get my hopes up
The other guy was actually sent to India for a year by the company for maintenance work and after the year he may not return to my province depending on where he's needed but he's always travelling according to my wife
Okay so you are full of shit OP, nice made up novel. Thanks for wasting my time.
Read an article recently that they were planning to launch this October. I mean why not? There is demand, give them supply. It is not like it is illegal..
She has no friends or support circle outside of myself. We got into a fight and she stormed out with the kids
I've been reading this thread all day.
I may be a cuck but atleast my kids will still have my influence. If they were 18 this would be a different story. There's too much on the line to let my ego drive my decision. I have a hatred for her for putting me through this that I told her I'll always hold against her but seeing my kids sound asleep is enough to deal with whatever bullshit life throws. I'm categorizing this as our mid life crisis and am going to try and move on and get better.
>I may be a cuck >I have a hatred for her for putting me through this
A cuck enjoys it, this just means that you have no self-respect.
You're a cuck for sure but good on you mate. It's good to be honest to oneself. Stick to your plan and good luck.
How are you even a “chuck”? Has she fucked the dude? That’s what a cuckold is.
That said, this whole preoccupation with “cucks” is fucking retarded, just like all the pills, chads, etc
It just is meaningless garbage from children who know nothing of reality.
Do you want to salvage your marriage, does she? Why not marriage counseling instead of listening to dumbfucks on Jow Forums
>I may be a cuck >I have a hatred for her for putting me through this >A cuck enjoys it, this just means that you have no self-respect. All cucks enjoy it and have no self-respect about this. I've known of some who hate the bitch and still enjoy the ride anyway, sometimes secretly.
>I’ll probably just give up the internet when it gets too bad unless a clear alternative is presented and a real exodus happens. Stick around.