Why has dating become so difficult these days? My grandparents didn't have this difficulty
Why has dating become so difficult these days? My grandparents didn't have this difficulty
Too much freedom for you morons
Because now its not just competing with the people on your shitty horse town, but the entire fucking world.
You’ll never compete with the most attractive person in your state let alone country or the entire world.
Prostitution is the only answer.
it hasnt, you're just an ugly autist.
Women can have jobs now and refuse to date men that make less than them. Since diversity hires are a thing a decent chunk of women make more than most men.
Women have social media, Tinder, porn, and the whole world to get dick, and they are no longer shamed for it. You no longer have to just be not fat, you also need to have the perfect 666 (6 feet tall, 6-pack abs, 6-figure salary).
Because men in your grandparents age actually perused women instead of sitting around hoping women come to them.
>can get pregnant around once a year
>can mate with countless women in the course of a year
Simply put, eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap. Why would women settle for unattractive men when attractive ones are a few swipes away? And sex and breeding are intimately related. Having sex with someone is akin to saying you want their children, even if artificial means keep you from conception. Regardless, this age of information has allowed women to exploit their natural sexual scarcity to bump their own value sky high while the average guy has to compete with the top men from a much broader geographic area than previous generations. In essence, the average guy can’t compete with the above average man, the above average man can fuck many women, thus the average man has less sex/dates/relations/children
Expectations have risen a lot. Back in the day of your grandparents you expected your spouse to be a decent parent (woman mostly) or earner (man mostly), to not abuse you and not make you want to kill yourself out of annoyance. If you could tolerate each other and enhance each other's life circumstances it was all good. Of course some people were romantics, but the societal message was that marriage was the way of life and you looked for a "decent" partner. Love was a potential bonus and also something that could grow over time.
Nowadays people are looking for someone they find expressly attractive, a confidante they can tell anything to, someone who is a safe haven and also an on-going adventure, who will never stop "dating" them, who will make them into the best version of themselves.
Of course these are generalizations, individually people have always been more and less realistic, but overall the expectations have risen. The stakes, too, now that you can easily meet many people and no one will frown upon having multiple relationships before marriage you have no excuse really to not look for what you want in your heart of hearts. There is a lot of pressure to make the right decision, and the more options you have the less easy it is to feel confident that you did okay and you can let it go now.
Apart from reasons like having less restrictions, a big part of why people aim so fucking high with love is that we live in a very individualized society. More people than ever live in a single person household and spend a lot of their free time alone. In the time of our grandparents society was much more structured around people (family, neighbors, friends) clustering together because what else was there to do in your spare time? Not to mention other factors, if you work at a firm for ten years your coworkers become familiar and appreciated if not outright friends. Compare that to the situation now.
So many people often feel lonely and they kind of look at a relationship to make up for all the lonely nights and everything they've missed. So no, they are not as ready to settle for an okayish union as people were (apart from whether or not they had a choice) back when not having close, long term friends was practically unheard of and you were part of many fixed, tight communities. It is also easier to accept that you cannot get some of your (emotional) needs met from your partner if you have friends that can satisfy this desire. Now both people typically work, have kids they are a lot busier with than people used to be back in the day, and feel lucky if they can schedule a date night let alone having the time to cultivate intimate friendships with people you see regularly.
I would say it has to do with the obsession we have with social media and technology. It’s changed the way people think and act, valuing online interactions over face to face. It’s a lot more simple to create an online persona to live behind where you can choose what to show people and when to show it. We don’t socialize the same anymore, humans are evolving and we have to adapt to truly be able to compete. It’s a weird time for sure.
Agreed, friendship is actually experiencing an epidemic. The individual, industrial, consumerist lifestyle, especially in America, is so much more isolating than it was in the past. Your partner is the only person you'll be true "friends" with, as you won't be able to see other people often enough to be close once you hit late 20s. This means partners are pressured to perform multiple social roles for one another. If you pick a bad partner, you won't experience the joys of any friendship, possibly for the rest of your life.
Even as a fat autist I used to at least get SOME pussy.
>you also need to have the perfect 666 (6 feet tall, 6-pack abs, 6-figure salary).
The funny thing is that this gets you 6s, not above, in the US.
>why has dating become so difficult these days
The Me Too movement and a fucking minefield of false rape and harrassment allegations.
All you have to do is compliment a woman on the attractiveness of her face and BAM! You get fired from your job for a sexual harrassment writeup. You get sent a cop to give you a talking to about how you show all the warning signs of being a rapist, maybe even sent to a shrink if you're lucky to talk about your "disturbing behavior" of asking a woman out on a date or trying to flirt.
This shit is fucking bananas.
Oversexualization and general decadence in society.
For me it is this
sometimes you don't even need to do that.
That's just Amerifat problems, your country is a shitshow.
Women today has more options. Back then it was you can only date in their own small town but now they can date cities sometimes even states away. Or that your granddad was in the war and muscular so it was easier for him then you to get girls
Yes we did
A generation brought up on electronic connections has lost the basic skills of interacting with other human beings face to face
ITT: teenager virgins who think they know what dating is like now and what it was like 50 years ago.
Dating isn't difficult, it's easier than ever. Why are you lying? Are you one of those gay psyoppers?
How it easy?
Only if you're a woman.
Excuses. Even 10-20 years ago you would have been too much of an awkward sperg to make a move on women
We have the internet, dating sites, tinder. All things that make it way easier than ever.
Or a man. Why do you keep lying? This board is not for incels.
>tinder, dating sites
>easer for a man
10-20 years ago a sperg trying to talk to a girl would simply be called a loser. Now women will call the cops on him for rape
Incels arent human.
more and more men are becoming incels, so that contradicts your claim that it's "easier than ever" for men
What's up with the personal attacks? You don't even know that user. Jesus, it really is true that women absolutely despise non-Chad men. Just remember, everything you say has consequences and I wouldn't be surprised if God decided that you will be the one who gets shot by a frustrated incel next and gets her brains splattered across the street.
We should all care for each other since life is hard enough (especially for men), not alienate one another.
>not for incels
That’s news to me, most of the posts here are all these guys who hate women because they got dry dicks.,
To answer OP the reason why dating changed is feminism destroying traditional families.
Do you have brain damage or something? Tinder and dating sites have made it easier for men to find girls. Far easier than ever.
Less and less men are becoming incels. Incels are an evil death cult that had their 15 minutes. It's a dying movements. Only a few liars like you remain.
>women absolutely despise non-Chad men
What does non-Chad mean and why are you lying?
Take your medicine.
Incels have shown up in the last few weeks on Jow Forums because they are flooding over from Jow Forums which in turn is being flooded by trannies. And incels originally are from reddit who came here after being kicked off. Doesn't help that 8ch spergs are trying to come here too.
>Less and less men are becoming incels.
restorting to lies now?
Why are you denying the truth? Incels are a dying movements. More men are leaving incelism behind and fewer are joining them. The peak of incels was when they were on reddit. After they were kicked off they only have had a few scattered communities on the internet which never last long.
What's wrong with tinder or dating sites? They make everything so easy it's ridiculous.
ah I see. You're conflating men who don't have sex or relationships with incels. There's overlap but they're not always the same thing. Both are still increasing however.
For women and certain types of men.
Men and women who aren't having sex or relationships are increasing. Incels are decreasing.
>certain types of men
Like what? Tinder and dating sites make it easy for all men and all women. You can't deny this fact.
The top 20% of men. Rest of the men are struggling to get a date from Tinder from even fat bitches and ugly cunts.
Same thing. But the number of male virgins is higher than the female one due to hypergamy.
>But the number of male virgins is higher than the female one
Show proofs. That "28%" meme graph is not, by the way. Virginity statistics actually show that there is no significant difference between men and women.
>due to hypergamy.
Wut. Is this a new incel meme or something? What is it even supposed to mean?
Top 20% of men in what? Dude, you're making shit up. That's the most retarded thing I have ever read. Lots of men get dates off tinder easily. Let me ask you, when is the last time you went outside your basement?
Incel means involuntary celibate you fucking mong, it is not an ideological movement.
The amount of involuntary celibate men is increasing too.
1. Not a virginity measurement
2. A single data point
3. No female equal data
4. Completely irrelevant to "dating and relationships".
You cannot be involuntarily celibate you mong. You choose to be celibate. An incel is 100% an ideological movement. It's someone who subscribes to incel ideology and spends all this time on incel websites raging on how he wants to rape and murder women.
Yeah, all the incels are CHOOSING not to have sex with all the women that are throwing themselves at them, right? Wait, why are incels so angry then and claim that only hot guys get girls?
>Not a virginity measurement
Correct, we're not talking about virginity but about the change in modern relationships
>A single data point
>No female equal data
What? I'm not making any statements about women.
>Completely irrelevant to "dating and relationships"
Are you implying that that massive increase is due to men getting in relationships where they have no sex? I fucking doubt that's what's happening.
>The sex market is meritocratic
>Men are the party that choose whether sexual relations are initiated.
A wholehearted fucking kek from me, you absolute troglodyte.
Fixs your assumptions. You are like the people that call atheists a religion "because believing in nothing is still a religion hurr durr".
1. Yes it is
2. Just wrong
3. There is, this one does not show it, but there is one that shows them both
Incels are choosing to not leave their home. Incels are choosing to not talk to girls. Incels are choosing to not go on tinder. Incels are choosing to not have a job. Everything about being an incel is a choice, including being an angry violent jerk.
These are all assumptions once again. Were you deprived of oxygen when you were a baby? Or are you just a glow in the dark tranny?
Millennials have less sex and less relationships than previous generations, this is well known. They're just less interested and would rather stay at home and play vidya. Socializing is done through social media so no need to go out. This applies to both men and women, despite what some lying incels are trying to make you believe.
All proven, why so butthurt? Those traits describe incels to a t. An incel is without exception a failure in life on many fronts. You can't have be intelligent or successful and an incel.
>Tinder and dating sites make it easy for all men and all women
Can you explain what mental gymnastics you had to perform to come to the conclusion that graph in any way disproves that claim?
>All proven, why so butthurt?
>An incel is without exception a failure in life on many fronts. You can't have be intelligent or successful and an incel.
At this point you are just losing it. It seems you have more of these traits than men who are involuntary celibate. You also ignored my post here Maybe get help? It's not too late user.
Back then talking to someone you sat next to on the bus was chill not creepy.
Now, glancing at them is creepy, you face the window, you face your phone.
All is done through social media. People on there want to talk, want to maybe meet. Want to be social.
Being in public is not an invitation to deal with the public.
The other generations see this differently. I take my grandmother shopping, she can find herself engaged in a chat with a stranger from her own generation easily.
I shop, I get my stuff, get out, get pissed at all who are in my way.
If dating has been made easier, then more people would be dating rather than less. Care to provide some evidence that an app that is only good at creating the most superficial social connections actually makes dating easier?
In other words, people have become selfish adult children that can't handle social contact.
Have you ever been to an incel website? That's all you need as proofs. These people identify themselves as incels. They are what an "incel" is. It doesn't have anything to do with having sex or not since anyone who wants sex can get it.
Dating is easier but people are dating less because of other reasons. Social structure changes. Anyone can find dates easily if he/she is so inclined. People just aren't as interested before. How would something that only adds, take away? Think about that.
>Moving the goal post
>Doubling down on ignoring my earlier arguments/posts
user, where did the incel hurt you?
Proof that’s it’s become difficult without your anecdotes? Because for me it’s really easy
Why do you people think single people want sex when they complain it is hard to find a girlfriend?
If a person say he can't afford a car, you don't start talking about how available amusement park rides are.
You are just as bad as the incels.
It's easy for anyone who actually wants to try. But as you can see from this thread there are a few entitled assholes who have never tried anything and just expect a girlfriend to magically fall onto their lap without making any effort.
Post your face.
Ahem user, we were not done with our discussion:
Not that guy, but what do you say about guys who do want sex, don’t hate women, have given up on becoming attractive, but *do not* complain about it?
Perhaps that's true if you only look at the technological side of it. 50 years ago you were stuck with whatever men or women were in your local community while today you ostensibly have access to a much wider pool of potential partners. However I don't buy that people aren't as interested as before, it's total bullshit to believe that people are less inclined to do something they're biologically hardwired to do. More modern generations are becoming less social outside the online world and more prone to problems like anxiety. There's more mental barriers in the way to real world relationships than ever before, which is why I think it's less easy than in the past.
>look your anecdotes aren't proof but my anecdote is
wtf are you doing m8
Take comfort in the fact the female equivalent of you has hundreds if not thousands of men to choose from.
Sounds like you chose to become a monk. So what made you give up? How old are you?
Not complaining or even interested in being the solution to be honest with you, and shaming can't do much to me because I'm a comfy creep who made his peace with being alone.
I'm just commenting on our current "predicament".
It's also worth noting the damage done by the MSM. Too many articles encouraging young women to slut it up with bad-boys while they are young, too many articles and messages try to push men to not be bad boys instead to respect and love women.
A recipe for conflict, aint it?
No wonder we don't see eye to eye.
22. It’s a lot of work and it’s easier to be alone than to convince myself that I want to alter every aspect of my being to appease women. In short, effort is not worth the reward
Believe me, I do. She’ll never be alone. That’s a huge weight off my shoulders
not him but is the kind of thing that made me give up
If it is so damn easy how come nobody can tell me how to do it?
Swiping apps are great because you can only message people who like you back
>Nobody likes me back
Traditional apps are great because it can focus on other aspects than the physical
Real life is so much better because you can have a real connection with someone
>I don't know what planet women live on or how to get there without changing career, moving to another country or not working at all.
So please wise one, tell me how.
How many hours a day do you spend taking pictures of yourself?
How many hours a day do you hassle strangers?
Break it down for me because easy and putting in the effort always go in the same sentence but nobody can define how to do it.
My experience counts because it is reality.
Look, man. I’m not your fucking therapist or life coach. All I can say is that people who are not entitled and lazy get a lot of pussy. I’m sorry you’re so bitter
>All I can say is that people who are not entitled and lazy get a lot of pussy
Will you be a strong enough man to step up to the plate and be her man when she is older, experienced, and ready to settle down with someone serious?
Well, my friends and myself for one. Pretty much everyone on my college campus for two. And three is just a common lack of incels outside of the internet
So he gave up because of retarded incel memes?
I may not bitter, I am just calling you put for not having any more of a clue how to do this than the rest of us.
I am not trying to get a lot of pussy, maybe that's the problem. I know I would be a great partner and I just want someone to share my life with because success feels better when you can celebrate with someone.
Every girl online acts like they are the ones offering the world while they are mostly boring and plain people from what you can see on their sparse profile descriptions. I am sure some of them are great people, but they refuse to talk to me so I will never know.
You didn't say anything relevant. How are we supposed to know? My first guess would be that your pictures were shit, as was your writeup. Also there are plenty of social events unless you live in West Bumfuck, Alabama. Have you never tried going out?
I spent a few minutes on putting together a profile with a witty writeup and a few good pics. That's literally all that was needed. Easy. If you don't have good pics then go outside and ask friends to take some of you.
>you also need to have the perfect 666
in what reality? If you actually believe this you need to leave the basement
I’m not him. My post explains why I gave up
>"hey bitch love to see that pretty mouth on muh dick"
>"why is this harassment wtf i dindu nuffin"
>implying that wouldn’t work for an attractive guy
Attractive by whose criteria? Girl A, girl B, girl C, or the collective hivemind of closeted incels?
Only in the ghetto among crack whores short of money.
Girls A and B. C just thinks he’s an annoying jock but won’t report him because he’s “kinda cute”
Wasn't there an Asian incel who got reported to the campus security because he asked a girl for her number? Someone pull that pic up.