>just improve yourself and girls will come bro
Is this bullshit or not? When exactly does this happen?
Just improve yourself and girls will come bro
>just improve yourself and girls will come bro
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When you actually improve yourself.
I prefer “just become yourself” but that’s me
in order to meet Mrs. Right you have to be Mr. Right
Isnt it a continuous process?
When is it enough?
Would a woman who started exercising, dressing well, learning things, improving her social skills, and getting a better job be more attractive to others?
That's the question you are asking.. What do you think?
it does help but only with initial attraction
as an average male you still need to jump through hoops and loops to win girl over, while attractive guy just says hi to her and shes masturbating thinking about him at home.
t. guy that started self improving 3 years ago
You can't just reverse genders and expect it to be valid. The few girl friends I have who are single, are so because they choose to be, meaning that guys asked them out and they said no. I was out once and one even said that >if a girl wants to get a boyfriend she can do that in a few days, and the others agreed. But in comparison, my guy friends who are single(pretty much all of them) never been asked out and when they tried they got shot down. So I have this feeling that what works for girls doesn't necessarily work for guys.
>You can't just reverse genders and expect it to be valid.
Yes you can
So what's your explanation for the rest of the reply then?
The reality is that as you age and "improve yourself" the girls in your age range also age, but they become less desirable. Thus eventually they settle for your sorry ass but since you've "improved yourself" it's not as miserable for them. They still don't want you, they just haveto settle for you.
There's a reason why 80% of divorces are started by women. You gave them what they want, which is a child and financial stability in the form of alimony, but they still dont' exactly "want" you.
What's there to be done then?
Found the neckbeard.
It's always the same damn thing with you guys. The only reason you're ever single is because girls are bitches and even if they do choose you later, its becuase they've had their fun as a cumrack and want to be steady.
I'm sorry that they naturally prefer to spend time with guys that are confident and match their interest. I'm sorry there are too smart to waste their time with people they cant connect with at a basic level.
It's your self entitlement and lack of self esteem that prevents you from scoring, not some "womanly nature" which doesnt exist.
Worked for me. Coming out of high school I was plain awful in pretty much every way you can imagine. The more I worked to fix myself up, the more often girls would make excuses to enjoy my company and chomp at the bit for a date. I'd say it happens pretty far down the line though. If you're fat and 20 other things, you're not going to see a difference after losing 4 pounds. Maybe sort out 18 or 19 of those things too and you've got a shot once the weight is off.
Not him but why don't they choose me now instead of later?
I was never fat or anything like that. But the only excuses girls make is to excuse themselves of meeting..
They're not bitches or anything. They're acting on their self-interest. Which is fine. Like you said
>I'm sorry that they naturally prefer to spend time with guys that are confident and match their interest
Hence why improving yourself is completely pointless. Girls decide that they like you within 1 minutes of meeting you. So improving yourself does not work. No girl is going to think "hey user improved himself 2 years later, maybe I should give him a chance now!"
They think, "ehh. he's a bore, glad he's working out. But I still dont' like him."
That can easily backfire on them because men are generally intimidated by strong women.
>The reality is that as you age and "improve yourself" the girls in your age range also age, but they become less desirable.
That line is correct, but ignore the rest. Chances are the majority of women you will meet at 25+ years of age come with baggage which will seem off-putting to you, especially kids from previous partners. At the same time it's pretty easy to gauge what kind of person they are based on their lifestyle.
Well I'm glad you don't have weight to worry about. But when it comes to improvement, you know how good you could be. You also know where you fall short. The issue is when you know better but fail to live up to it. Other people notice it too, and it's unattractive.
Not the user to whom you're replying but I interpreted this thread as "improve for better future odds," not "improve to change the minds of past/present women."
I'm going to let you in on a secret.
It's never enough.
Even if you improve yourself, and you finally get a gf, you have to stay improving and be on your grind if you want to keep her.
This shit is infuriating.
so fat, shy, unemployed girls don't deserve bfs
Your'e not going to be a 35 year old man dating those 18 or even 25 year olds. You'll be dating the 28-35 year olds. The same girls that already rejected you once. And they'll do it again hoping you still love them and raise their child from another man.
Maybe if people stopped hating themselves they could learn to love themselves. Then they can be in love with other people.
Most guys who are lonely have a one track mind that fails them time and time again, pussy isn’t going to make you a better person.
They don’t have bfs, they have sex partners who settled for their ugly ass out of depression.
Wait, who's talking about being 35? And staying in the exact same dating pool? No, I really think this thread is more about getting your shit together now and having some nice winter dates this holiday season with new girls.
ugly ass men don't even have that
>this holiday season
OP here, I don't honestly believe that
I've been on the so called improvement path for probably 4 years and nothing seemed to really change, so it sure as hell won't in just a few months
You can love yourself as much as you want. It still doesn't change the fact that if you're an ugly fuck, you're at a disadvantage vs the other guys in the world. And you can only change your looks so much. and believe it or not, girls care more about looks then guys. Sure they say they like guys that are funny, etc. but it's all lies. read up on some psychology journals. Women choose physical traits that they feel would best improve their offspring's chances.
I dunno man, I changed a lot pretty quickly. It especially helps that you're already in decent physical shape. How far do you have to go from there? You can start working out a few times a week if you want to bulk up and you'll show muscle in three months. You can improve your clothing tomorrow. Same with your grooming. Pick up a hobby to help you socialize; if a group meets once a week for two hours, you've got a solid 30 hours of practice you can accrue. What is it that you know you could improve about yourself but you're sure you can't do in three months?
This is a fantasy you have and it isn’t the truth.
I want to feel this way all the time because inside I can’t stand to blame myself for the impressions that other people make of me. You are caught obsessing over those impressions and making mountains out of molehills. People come around, sure, even shitty people do, but not everyone is the same. You just have to chin up and move on. First thing you gotta do is let go of the fear, say it aloud “I could wind up being alone for the rest of my life”. Trust me it’s not that unreasonable and the converse of that can never come true if you don’t circumvent that and get down to what you want life to really be about.
You have to learn to love yourself user, be comfortable in your own skin. I recommend you schedule a day to just sit in your room with some pen and paper for a few hours and think.
Think about your past, memories you can still remember with sharp clarity, those are the important ones, the ones that make you, you. Understand that you are nothing more than a collection of memories amd an attitude that you have collected out of each and every one of them.
Know who you are, what you stand for. What you are comfortable and uncomfortable doing.
Notice I didnt say what you like and dont like doing. Anyone can learn to like anything, given the time and energy invested. That's the reason the best musicians and artist love their job. They have slaved away at their craft and have seen the results. You can achieve everything they have and more.
Let's say you improved yourself by .1% everyday for the rest of your life.
In 90 days time, you will have grown 10%. Theres literally no reason why you shouldnt.
Forget about the women. The friends. Focus on the only person that really matters in this world. Be the person you want yourself to be.
So what? Go ahead and get that career job, that house, that paid off car, those hobbies, allt hose wonderful things Jow Forums tells you you should get to get a gf.
None of that matters.
It's not a fantasy. It's reality. There's a reason why tehre's so many news stories about men being undesireable and undatable.
Here are sources
>23% of men vs 5% of women
Thinka bout it. 1 in 4 men NEVER find a nice wife to settle with.
Yeah, that's what I did...worked out pretty well, and I'm still a ways off from 35. That's kinda why I'm hoping to encourage OP to just change shit. I don't know how he wasted the last 4 years of trying but I think he can pretty well squared away by Christmas.
not who you're answering to. but who cares about psychology journals. psychology journals aren't a substitute for the real world. also psychologists want to steal your time and money.
Started working out (was skinny before), learning to play the guitar, going out with my friends more and seeking out creative hobbies a year ago. Got 0 romantic interest from girls since then. I couldn't even get a match on tinder. Pretty sure you are just completely (un)fucked if you were born ugly at this point.
I just cracked into the WaPo article and it says 51% of young adults have no steady romantic partner. I'd feel pretty comfortable guessing that around half of young adults also don't live up to their potential or anything close to it really. So, yeah. That's what happens when people stop striving to improve themselves.
I have experience with rejection and relationships, from what I know it’s true sexual attraction is a main factor but it’s not the most important believe it or not.
What matters more is being somebody who’s worth dating, just existing and working a day job doesn’t cut it.
Even good looking guys can’t get laid if they’re boring as fuck. Unless she’s too drunk or slutty to care, he’s going home alone. Was Eliot Rodger ugly? I don’t think he was, yet he was just as mad at women as basement trolls. Mainly because he was a self centered vapid boring rich boy. Women want men who make stuff and do impressive things with their talents. Just being dick with legs is’t enough these days, you’re competing for attention from her phone.
It’s not bs but you need to do it for yourself and not for women. Any woman of substance could tell if you’re just some fucking pussy who needs self-help motivation to get his ass off the couch.
They're paid to look at real world and life data buddy. Stop being in denial. The facts, stats, and numbers are right there
So what? reaching your potential has nothing to do with finding a romantic partner. Even girls don't reach to their potential.
That’s fine so do you want to be the 1 in 4?
I said you have to accept the prospect that you could be alone for the rest of your life for it to get better. Here you are raving about how that prospect is indeed possible, but that doesn’t get to the core of the argument. I’m not here to tell you that your life can get better and you can find someone who will improve it. I’m not a fortune teller. I’m trying to tell you that you can improve you life and maybe you can find someone, but either way your life will be much improved by the removal of this one anxiety.
I've been lifting for 2-3 years, I'm fine in that aspect. I never went too 'pro' with it because I spend more time on learning than I do on stuffing my face, but it's definitely noticeable, as I received some compliments, from guys, that is.
I think the problem is that I never had too much social status and wasn't taken too seriously because my family is relatively poor so I was always pretty cheap. Stuff like not having a nice car(where I live you can be a fat fuck but a mercedes can get you pussy regardless), good clothes or flex-y pictures to put on social media from traveling. I think girls care a lot about those things. And my finances aren't likely to improve any sooner than 5-6 years.
>Even girls don't reach to their potential.
Yeah, that's why they're part of the statistic too lol. It does say "steady" in the article. Getting a perpetual train run on them does not exempt them from the quoted 51%.
The link between potential and romantic success is exactly why improving yourself is what makes the girls come, bro.
>Women want men who make stuff and do impressive things with their talents.
No they don't. There's a reason why 80% of engineers in the silicone valley are single males. Theyr'e engineers too. They make stuff for a living.
Engineers aren’t interesting
Hey man, that sounds like a pretty clear picture you've got about room for improvement. I just want to be real with you though: I don't know where you live, but I'm sure wherever it is that you could have come up with a good financial strategy in the last 4 years. So when you said that you've been trying and getting nowhere I wonder whether you're making the best efforts in the right places.
Car is probably going to take a while, like you said. Clothing shouldn't be so bad. Basically these are all just signals that you have a fun lifestyle. Being poor is boring. You know this from your upbringing. I've been there too. And it's accurate. So let's get you from "poor family" to "I have enough money to have fun."
What's coming in and what's going out? Do you have a job? Is it decent? What are your expenses and can they be improved without damaging your social life?
Why do Musicians get tons of pussy?
Why is it that film makers can date actresses? Think about it.
Engineers are like cooks, they’re given directions and follow though. Sometimes they invent new stuff but it’s not that exciting.
Not every woman is a gold digging carnivore my guy. My past gfs all grew up middle class and disliked guys who showed off their wealth. Just go out to places where the girls there prob won’t give a shit about all that.
You don't have a choice to be the 1 in 4. You're either too ugly, too untalented, too unwanted and even possibly too unlucky to be in the 75% range. You can go to the gym, get a good 50k a year job, own a nice house, have allthe hobbies you want from cool shit like hiking, to traveling, to racing cars, but none of that matters. Women choose you within the first 2 minutes of meeting you.
>The link between potential and romantic success is exactly why improving yourself is what makes the girls come, bro.
They don't though. Men in their 30s don't date the 18-22 year old you wanted. They date the 25-30 year old woman that's already washed up and finally maybe settles for you.
Don't believe in the meme that men age like wine and if you're 30 with your shit together, that 18-22 year olds magically launch their pussy at you.
You get to settle for the 25-30 year old that already has 1 or 2 kids, other baggage, and commitments, and finally letting your "improved" 30 year old ass get their dick inside.
You didn't improve shit, you're still the same stupid boring prick that had to wait in line instead of getting what he really wanted when he was 22-25
My buddy is a musician and he hasn’t worked out in years, frail as fuck, drives a honda, and barely earns median salary. Gets tons of pussy bc he’s not a cumbrain who needs to validate his life through women. That’s how he gets girls. Just have some self-respect and viewing working out and dressing better as a means to get women rather than improve yourself.
>Why do Musicians get tons of pussy?
They don't that's also a stupid meme.
>Why is it that film makers can date actresses?
Because they give those actresses roles. aka. Harvey Weinstein.
>Engineers are like cooks, they’re given directions and follow though. Sometimes they invent new stuff but it’s not that exciting.
That's the same shit for carpenters, musicians (oh yes you're going to be the next John Lennon, bullshit) etc. Men that are able to invent and create completely brand new shit that people give a shit about are once in a generation. Most people copy shit from other people.
I’ve noticed that guys who are the most vocal about how hard it is to get dates, don’t actually try more than a few times. It’s a numbers game, I don’t know how much more simple I can make it. Not everyone is the same, otherwise war wouldn’t exist.
Nerds in Silicon Valley get laid but I doubt they’re willing to let a woman marry them to get half their stuff in a divorce.
Why are you back to the 30s again? For fuck's sake I think even OP's pessimistic timetable for getting a good income happens sooner than that. He's probably 20 and his absolutely grim outlook is 26. Goodness me. You have this sort of obsession with the number 30 as if your grandma got it tattooed on her at Auschwitz or something. At this rate I'll be here until I turn 30 before you say something different.
>It’s a numbers game, I don’t know how much more simple I can make it.
This is the secret. You ask as many girls as you possibly can on a date and hope that one of them will give you a chance.
Yeah unless you look like a model, you’re gonna get rejected by most girls. Just the way it is for 99% of guys.
It’s like applying for jobs out of college. 50 applications sent and you may get a call back from 5. The key is to live in an area with plenty of single women.
Because 30 is the prime number for a man to reach his peak.
>Peak wisdom and energy
>Stable in his career
>Mentally stable enough to actively raise a child
>Not aggressive enough to do stupid shit
>Finally his Id and shadow become one
You don’t need to be a model though, you just need to not be a total fuckin creep.
>just improve yourself AND keep on putting yourself out there and then girls may come, though more may reject you
Plus if 99% of guys weren’t fucking then how come so many people have kids?
Your math is created by a death cult of closeted faggots.
Saying some guys are rejected a lot isn't saying they never find someone
Yeah and have the mental fortitude to understand there are plenty of thots out there who will reject you for no reason at any moment. Most girls I know determine whether a dude is a good fit physical and socially bc they want to show you off to their friends at some point. Being a handsome autistic guy isn’t someone she wants to show off.
Broke up with my gf been on tinder for 3 days have 3 dates. You’re the problem.
Why are people so centered on looks. I know a bunch of 7s who can score a women, the women arent nessasarily 10s but they dont look awful. If you're too worried about finding a girl, you never will. Just take some time out of your day to reflect on yourself.
The only people that are really worth your time are the ones you can talk and be yourself with.
How the hell do fat ugly trollish looking men get wives? They lower their standards and realize being physically attractive isn’t their ideal mate.
Now if you’re just your average looking shlomo then you’ll find another girl in your league. The she dates out of her league meme is as false as they come.
My honest guess is that these people are legit 2-3s. Granted, a lot of that might be controllable, but you can be an awesome person and still get nowhere if you put people off physically.