Pic completely unrelated I don’t care I have like 11 pictures total. I don’t know how to phrase this. At this point, suicide almost seems like something inevitable that I’m just waiting for. I don’t feel any emotion of psychological distress over it. It doesn’t give me any dread or concern. It’s like the solution to a math problem: it just is. Throughout the day I will randomly think of a way to kill myself and not even think anything of it. I’m just waiting. Every time I see my friends I can’t help but think it may be the last time and they don’t even know. How do I fix this?
Pic completely unrelated I don’t care I have like 11 pictures total. I don’t know how to phrase this. At this point...
Obviously you need to address the source of your depression.
An intelligent person would already think of this, remember OP brought up suicides, which is commonly an act performed by retards.
It’s hard to pin it down on one thing. Bad sexual experience when I was younger. Hereditary anxiety and depression. I never feel like my true self, I feel like I always fail to live up to who I should be. I just don’t see any reason to keep going. I don’t go through the average day with any real objective or sense of purpose for why I do things. I’ve tried so many things to try to get something out of everything, but it always fails. I’m not good at explaining things, the best way to put it is that I don’t even feel like a person.
I appreciate the gesture, but I’m agnostic.
Suicide seems completely reasonable. Not existing is better than an existence you hate.
Why? It obviously isn't working for you.
Nothing is working out, it’s not just being agnostic. If I don’t believe something I don’t believe it, I can’t just lie to myself.
Belief is defined by the way you act. It sounds to me like you are an atheist, living as if you believe there is no God.
Read Infinite Jest.
Well, then how am I “supposed to live?” What does it even mean to live as though God exists?
How about living as though the choices that you make are meaningful as a start, and stop pretending that you've figured out everything worth knowing.
I’ve been trying that for awhile
You said in the OP that you had life figured out and that you were just waiting to commit suicide. That doesn't sound like trying to live a meaningful and responsible life of inquiry.
I’ve tried but I always fail.
What have you tried, specifically?
I’ve tried to incorporate stoic and ascetic values into my life because they’re the only ones that appeal to me.
Well clearly they don't work. Maybe you should try some other philosophy or religion. You have no spiritual life, and as a result, a dead spirit.
There's always that one person who thinks religion is real. Ignore them.
Let's hear your theory.
Don't hat the player. Hate the game. Just do your time nigga.
Oh cool so instead of religion you just believe in a pseudo-religious nonsense. That makes way more sense, how could I have been so stupid?
first guy you responded to here, I think he was just using that as an example for religions proven false.
I won't pretend to be one of those "science is the new God" atheists, but there's more value in fact than fiction. I have never had a religious experience, and I grew up catholic. I went to church camp. They had Christian bands playing and everything.
Explain to me how it is that I never found God there, if he's so all present? Have him give me a phone call and tell me, "ey dog, it's all gonna be alright." Then I'll believe that religion has some credibility.
Stop waiting and do it now, or jump all-in on psychiatry to get yourself to functioning level. Otherwise your "inevitability" is just a cop out to not do shit with yourself. And you won't do shit with yourself for years, until one day in the future you realize you're still alive and likely to stay that way until you meet a natural end. That's when the darkness hits, because that's when you'll see you haven't done shit with yourself in all those depressed years, just brushed away any sort of growth or improvement with "I'll probably end it soon lel"
It's a very bad spot and idk how to describe the despair you'll feel. So I suggest you kill yourself immediately to stop suffering, or immediately seek all the help modern medicine can give. Don't be like m-–my friend.
>Explain to me how it is that I never found God there, if he's so all present? Have him give me a phone call and tell me, "ey dog, it's all gonna be alright." Then I'll believe that religion has some credibility.
No you wouldn't, you would find some other excuse.
Luke 16:31 "He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.'"
If someone rises from the dead, I will be unequivocally convinced. Let me meet my Grandfather one more time so I can tell him I'm sorry we never got to spend much time together. Let him tell me his stories of war, and of travel, and all the cool shit he did, and be the role model my father never could be.
then I'll be convinced.
Someone was raised from the dead, his name was Jesus, and yet you still don't believe.
Whether he was or wasn't, it was thousands of years ago. That does nothing for me now. I need to see it with my own eyes.
Man. Read further back than your book. Most of the Old Testament was ripped from Sumerian stories and there are "literally" some of the same characters. Yahweh and Enki are the same spelling in canaanite script. The first man was adam and all that biz. Your god is an alien that was recognized in history.