I've been homeschooled all my life and I've never had friendships or relationships in real life, I haven't even hugged a guy yet and I'm 18. But I had relationships online and I've been promiscuous with about 10 guys and I've cheated on 3 during my teen years. I am not proud of my past and I have learned from my mistakes and will not do it again. But I also don't want to hide my hideous past from a potential mate and I'm terrified no one is going to forgive me or give me a chance. I feel so disgusted for what I've done, I can't forgive myself. I really want a decent relationship that isn't focused on sex but real love. But I feel like I don't deserve it. I know Jow Forums is the wrong place to ask because all men here hate women like me. But I would really appreciate your advice and opinions. Thank you for reading
Can your internet past be forgiven?
I hope you didn't post nudes or masturbated in a live chat
Why the fuck would you tell anyone that you stupid bint
>Yes I've cheated in 30% of my past relationships, but this is different!
Is this bait or are wahmen just pathologically incapable of keeping their mouths shut
I've sent nudes to my boyfriends online and cammed for them but never masturbated. I know that doesn't make things any better
I don't want to deceive someone important to me, I want to open up and tell them everything. I don't want to hide
It's good of you to want to tell them. Don't lie about your past, you won't get anywhere
>sent nudes to my boyfriends online and cammed for them
may be too late, but normally its difficult to find that stuff anyway
i am sure in your case that you will be fine
>I've sent nudes to my boyfriends online and cammed for them but never masturbated. I know that doesn't make things any better
You mean child porn?
Seriously OP, we all do stupid shit when we're teenagers. You happened to on the internet. I can relate because I'm a femanon as well and was homeschooled my entire life, so I made a bunch of my mistakes on the internet.
If there is evidence of anything you want to scrub, I suggest creating new social media accounts. Otherwise, it's time to forgive yourself. You know what you did was wrong and you say you've learned from it. It's hard for us homeschoolers to understand, but cheating is very common for teens because they're stupid as fuck. Learn to forgive yourself and your past mistakes.
Shut the fuck up you fuck. She's trying to come out clean. Good for her.
Look kid, I've read the entire thread so far and I'm first in line DETESTING what whores do all the time. The whoredom and the hypocrisy and the backstabbing and the lies. Now I'll say this. To me, there's little better than honesty, and it seems here you're trying to be honest, first of all to yourself. Even where I stand, I for one would give you a chance. And if I would at that, wouldn't some others too, perhaps? I'm sure there are others who would too. There is absolutely 100% hope in my opinion. But be clear on this: Do not be a hypocrite and try to "be" what you are not anymore. Just be yourself and roll along with it at this point. Because I tell you in truth, there is no way in hell I would let any girl who's done what you've done try to play the "virgin" on me and deny me what you spilled over others on a whim. My thought is, if you are honest, truthful about what you have done and not hiding anything AT ALL from your guy, and if you're not a hypocrite and pretend to be what you can no longer be, then I say you should be fine and you know what? You may even learn the meaning of true love some day. In other words be honest to me, be true to me, tell me all you've done and be a great slut to me starting like right now, and we should be fine. Personally, I love honest sluts and truthful whores, and the slut that's a slut only to her guy is a treasure to him, the way I see it. Just be careful and watch out for the thousands of guys out there who would now use you hard and with a vengeance like a bad whore, and dump you like garbage left and right especially because of your honesty. Be careful who you trust. Be careful making your choice. Well done, kid.
>who's done what you've done try to play the "virgin" on me and deny me what you spilled over others on a whim
Used to date a girl that tried to pull this shit on me.
I already knew she had quite a few hook ups in her past, which I was completely fine with being a very sexually active person myself, so when she tired to "play it slow" it annoyed the hell out of me.
I knew she actually wanted to go for it, but didn't want to look "cheap" because she saw me as a viable long term partner.
What it did in the end was just push me away and I lost all interest soon after.
OP be confident in your past and don't feel guilty. Stuff happened, you enjoyed it at the time otherwise you wouldn't have done it, hopefully learned a thing or two, most importantly to be faithful in the future.
Although it's true that quite a few guys would find it difficult to deal with your past, you want to be with someone who can, and the vast majority are able to.
You are very deserving of love and to be loved.
Be honest, straight forward, confident and faithful towards your partner.
Best of luck.
That view is flawed, you can't expect someone to give you apart of themself that they want to change from. Everyone has the freedom to change their lives and you should be open to it. Sex before marriage card ruin relationships, you can read about it yourself, so of course they're wanting to change from that so they may get a real relationship that doesn't need sex to be the main drive. This is a bad example but it's like dating a former alcoholic and expecting they should drink with you only because they gave that privilege to someone else before, but it's bad for them and so is casual sex.
>cheated on 3 guys
>haven't even hugged a guy yet
ur fine m8
> I've been promiscuous with about 10 guys
If you haven't even hugged them, that's not 'promiscuity'. It's still quite degenerate, what you did, but do label it correctly. Would I consider it forgivable? Not really, since what's done is done--at least 10 goobers out there have actual cp of you, which needless to say is an explosive risk to any relationship.
However, you aren't automatically disqualified from a relationship in my eyes, even if you put yourself at a severe disadvantage compared to girls who are both waiting until marriage and have no such baggage.
>all men here hate women like me.
First, it's not 'all men' here. And secondly, while I despise whores, what you did is comparatively tame compared to actual whores. You can (and should) still wait until marriage, which will serve both your goal of a decent relationship and morality in general. Absolutely don't fall into the trap of doing successively worse things because you find yourself beyond hope--that hurts yourself, but also society as a whole by spreading immorality further than it has already gone.
Also, it's very good of you to be honest about yourself.
tl;dr it may or may not be forgivable, but it's certainly possible to redeem yourself, so don't lose hope.
Why did you cheat?
OP the best thing you can do is do your best to behave as you see right from this point on - that includes honesty. The man who you'll spend the rest of your life with is going to be someone you can communicate this to
I agree with other anons here. What concerns me most is the cheating, but it is forgiveable because it was all online. It's not as significant as if it was with real people.
>I haven't even hugged a guy yet and I'm 18.
>I've been promiscuous with about 10 guys and I've cheated on 3.
So that promiscuous and cheating is just online, and has nothing to do with real life right?
You are a virgin, you've never hugged or kissed a guy?
It's ok, to do lewd fantasy i think
As long as it was fantasy and not real.
Things might be different based on the culture you live in, so you should say what country and city you live in to help better.
But with a decent relationship you should be able to show the guy you are as close with them as you were with the past guys online.
Which would probably mean doing the sex things you talked about online with your future boyfriend in real life.
Other wise it would seem like you care more for online "fake" people rather the in real life "real" people. And that would not be good.
OP here, I'm so thankful for all these helpful and encouraging replies. I appreciate it. This all helps me feel a whole lot better. The only thing that worries me now by reading your replies is that a guy won't feel as special if I don't participate in sex before marriage because I was really hoping to start new in real life and not make those mistakes again.
I guess because I wasn't happy and wanted more but I was really stupid.
I dirty talked and fantasized with 5 guys, and with another 5 who were my boyfriends I sent nudes and cammed with them.
OP, you do you. There are some guys who would like to have sex before marriage and some who don't. A man who really loves you will respect your decision and wait.
Sex before marriage just shows how serious your commitment and love is. If your not serious then just don't have sex.
You've had Zero sex in real life and are a virgin right? So it makes sense your hesitant on sex if that is the case, that is that the case?
I think you skipped some other questions like what type of society you live in, city and country, and body type weight, to offer more specific help in getting a good guy. You were serious right?
Thank you, I really hope so
Yes I'm a virgin, I live in the south east of US. I don't know why body matters here but I'm slightly underweight. And yes I'm serious
Thank you, now obviously you don't need to have sex with the guy right away, a good guy should be willing to wait maybe a few months or so. Just talk to the guy, you can get close to them for a couple weeks then tell them that you have never been too intimate with a guy before and you want to wait a few months,Then say is that ok?
If not, say thanks for being my friend, i will always be your friend, but i have to do some other stuff in my life, so i can't be more then friends. Thank you for being my friend. Then go.
>south east US
V I R G I N I A
Bad idea to give a set time after which you'll have sex. There are guys who enjoy "conquest" and they'll simply wait around until then while pressuring you all the way. Pic related is the way to go for a reason.
Also note that if you have to tell yourself something "doesn't count" while waiting, it almost certainly does. A good guy won't demand you compromise your morals, whereas a bad one after your body alone will never be satisfied until he gets all of it.
I would probably date you but at the same time if you've cammed and done all sorts of shit with guys then
>I don't participate in sex before marriage because I was really hoping to start new in real life and not make those mistakes again.
Is a big red flag, like those born again christians. Waiting until marriage will not undo your past mistakes, it's just a punishment for a better man than the ones you dated previously. Waiting until marriage only makes sense for people who are actually chaste.
>Waiting until marriage will not undo your past mistakes
I am waiting until marriage myself, and while this is true (that the mistakes remain) it's still right to wait. I think we can both agree that it's much more serious to fuck ten guys than to get into juvenile internet "relationships" with them--and fornicating because past mistakes make you 'irredeemable' is only going to make a bad situation worse.
That said, OP shouldn't be surprised when guys reject her from either end--those who wait will have legitimate concerns over her past, while guys chasing sex will be upset they're not getting it. I don't get the feeling OP is like one of the delusional "born again virgins"--I think she genuinely wants to set herself straight, and as long as she's aware of the effort required, she has a chance.
Anyway, at the very least OP can raise her kids (if she has them) to do better.
On the contrary I believe it is the right way. These people waiting after having a past aren't hoping it will undo the past but hoping they'll have a real relationship. Sex before marriage makes lots of problems during the marriage. There are psychology today articles about it, read up on it.
It's the right way if you do it from the start, which OP hasn't. A man willing to wait until marriage is going to look for a woman who will wait until marriage, and there is no way that includes a woman who cammed and cheated on several other men. Waiting for marriage is an indicator of a person with sexual restraint which contradicts OP's past behaviour. I'm not saying she should slut it up, I'm saying she needs to be realistic about her prospects because right now she's setting herself up for disappointment.
Oh, okay. I don't think we disagree, then.