My husband and I have been together somehow on and off for five years...

My husband and I have been together somehow on and off for five years. He’s been sober two years after being a functioning alcoholic for ten years, and after many affairs on his part and his complete failure to give a fuck about our marriage or me as a person we’re basically roommates, with one kid. I don’t know that I care about our marriage any more either, he keeps saying there’s nothing between us and at first it made me sad... for a while I tried to spice up our sex life and help him see us as family, now I’m apathetic because he was largely still an abusive asshole after I blew him every day for three months straight. He’s always refused to combine finances, always told me I’m not his family, always made me out as some third wheel around his sister, always wanted sex and gets dummy ill when he didn’t get it. I found a notebook from three years ago where I wrote things he was saying and doing, he’d told me he was never happy with me and I was his biggest regret. But he hasn’t filed or won’t file for divorce. I don’t know if he’s over his past affair partners or has a new one or interest elsewhere, but I don’t, not for lack of options, I’m just not interested. Since I got a better paying job recently he’s been demanding I give him essentially all of my money and he won’t sit down and figure out what is a fair percentage for us both to be paying for bills. If I give him what he wants I’ll never be able to save anything and he doesn’t make enough to pay child support if I leave anyway. I don’t know what I’m asking. Why the fuck won’t he file if he’s been so miserable? How do I move on while still living together, whether we’re divorcing or not? How can I fix things if I don’t want to be intimate with him because he refuses to be kind or loving towards me? Should I just file now and take everything public since no one knows about the hateful and controlling way he’s been to me for years?
Pic unrelated

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>stupid whore gets with stupid man and blames everyone else while deep down feeling nothing but pain and misery

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O right forgot this is a place of angry manlet misogynists. You realize women have the same problems as men and deserve to be treated as such. Die mad.

I don't have your problems because i'm not human garbage like you. Die alone and miserable

I probably won’t do either since I’m still married and don’t care enough about anything to even be miserable, at least I’m not pretending to be happ[ily married] like yourself.

Get a lawyer and then get the fuck away from him. He's not letting you go because he's partly afraid of being alone and partly because you are basically her mother, housemaid and provider all at once. Your husband sounds like a real piece of work. Get away from him. Don't even try to ruin his life because it will eat your morality away and you don't need that. What you need is to pretend he doesn't exist anymore for anything other than your child.

> after many affairs on his part
Why are you still with that trash? Why did you even get with him in the first place if he's such a prick?

Regardless, the answer is clear. He's a shit cunt and you should file for divorce if he won't. He has disrespected everything the marriage stood for, and as such you are not obligated to maintain it. That he's demanding money from you ( to feed whatever nonsense he does) also tells me he doesn't care about your child. Get out of this marriage, not only for your sake, but for the sake of your kid as well.

Some people are just fucked up. Your kid will probably be better off only seeing him on weekends. Read up on how to win divorces and custody before letting on that you are leaving

In the off chance im talking to someone who isnt just LARPing a strawman for the little boys here: You have a very good case for divorce, alimony, + getting the kids. You are the textbook example of why women get alotted alimony- he is abusing the terms of your marriage, he is not collaborating financially, and he is not fulfilling his husbandly duties. Depending on what state youre in, you could be entitled to a lot.
I recommend you start compiling hard evidence of these affairs, get him to admit to it. Bring that textbook of mean shit he has said to you and bring him to sign an affidavit. Find a lawyer. Try to get him to sign his papers rather than fight it because he may actually get away, leaving you financially vulnerable. Push to get the kids but don't be overzealous.

do not divoorce so you child grows up well

>women have the same problems as men
*Citation needed.

Having an adulterous, thieving manbaby as a father is not going to be good for a kid, you degenerate

>Pieces of shit like this get wives

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The thing about the lawyer - I can’t afford one so aside from just giving up in mediation and letting him try to ruin my life further, since getting a divorce with a child prohibits me from getting a state-sanctioned lawyer how would I do this? If I pick up another job I’ll lose more time with her and thus open the door to losing custody leverage. Our tax return just came back but he filed it and is now claiming all of it. Another reason I’m ready to get out.

>a single parent is worse than having mom blow dad every single day, dad hit mom, dad drink and likely beat you, and having dad never be around

Why didn't you divorce him long ago?

Can someone say Stockholm syndrome. He made you feel worth less through the abuse and made you feel you actually need him and only him for financially support. Fuck him move out, get pictures of the mark he left on you and report it to the police. Then get a divorce you don't need him to sign if you have prove of the abuse.

>You realize women have the same problems as men and deserve to be treated as such.
But that's what he's doing? Disregarding your problems, just like people do with men's.

>Man is stuck in a relationship with a woman who's a useless, abusive piece of shit


>Woman is stuck in a relationship with a man who's a useless, abusive piece of shit


Bravo, incels.

Whoa hi OP here. He hasn't hit me or kid. It's all psychological, emotional, financial, etc. He's "smart" about it, usually.
I was looking into the alimony thing and all that a lawyer like the other user said and I'd probably have a good shot at getting sole custody and alimony, I just don't know how to afford a lawyer. The last one I had when we almost divorced was literally two paychecks and faster than I got them.

your story makes zero fucking sense and you are not including a lot of important details

Emotional abuse is still abuse, and I wouldn't put it past him if he's constantly drinking. He isn't exactly super aware of what he's doing.

He's not drinking anymore if you read it.. but his behavior is pretty much the same as if he is, he's just awake more now. Now he's aware of what he's doing and I'm running out of reasons to forgive and stay and keep trying.
What details do you think are missing, because others seem to get it

I mean couldn't you be the one filing a divorce? And how's he around the kid?

> stupid person opens stupid website, types something stupid
> feels self gratification for having done so.

what makes you think thats a man posting? i know far more women who call women whores than I do men.

>What details do you think are missing, because others seem to get it
"others" is the angry man-hating hags here on the board which you forgot to mention when you spoke of angry men.