I'm actually done. I've had a relationship for years now...

I'm actually done. I've had a relationship for years now, and suddenly my SO is telling me shit like she feels like part of her is missing some important relationship bit and she doesn't know what it is, we're still together but the distance shows. She wants to hang out but I always feel more like a friend than any thing else, we had an amazing sex life and that hasn't happened at all for months now, it suddenly changed. She says she still loves me, and that she feels the relationship is missing something and I've been busting myself for her, and trying to win her back, show my undying support for her and just.. Be an amazing person for her, try and get her back to why she loved me in the first place. But nothings working and I'm stuck with not feeling loved while she keep saying she loves me. But there's very little romantic shows or even just affection towards me, shes even dismissive at times, the problem? She's what I've actually ended up considering the love of my life. I'm not some teenage or whatever, I'm a fully grown adult nearing my 30s. And I've had the future planned completely shattered from under my feet.

I've tried it all, I can't get through to her. And it sucks, but I want it all to end. I've got a good supply of Diazepam and Xanax. Is there something else I need to do to completely destroy myself...? I don't want to deal with this anymore... I'm completely drained, communication has failed, I can't stop crying for hours, it's started affecting my work life, my personal life and family, so at this point I feel like a useless lump of rocks, in everyone's shoes.

How can I just go? Peacefully? I'm not even joking, I want this all to end.

Please help me end all of these feelings I have. Put me to sleep.

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Try communicating with her better
Just tell her everything you posted here and stop at the part where you wanna end it all

I have tried my best to communicate well with her regarding the situation. It's always met with "i dont knows" and the like. She knows all of what I just wrote, except the end part.

Honestly, I've given it all my best shot. And this is something I want, just relief, ending. I want to stop feeling entirely. It IS that simple.

You sound in bad shape OP.

I myself am too, it stings like a motherfucker, I even find myself drinking straight hard liquor, which I never done it before.

Just hang in there OP, hang in there.

Well since you plan on ending it you should break up with her and see if that changes anything

Try sniffing her anus.

If that doesn't work, cheat on her. It'll make you feel great.

Also, she's not fucking you and is being dismissive because she's fucking someone else. Women are CHAMPIONS at cheating, and making you feel like it's your fault.

You need to stop being passive and take control of the relationship and her. Your value doesn't come from her. Her needs should come second to yours, as she has already stated about not knowing what's missing. She needs to know you won't put up with her dumb shit. That you can, and will find other women if she doesn't step up her relationship with you.

Pro tip: cheat and she’ll figure it out
Pro tip 2: She’ll leave justified and you’ll still cry

I went through this exact same situation with my girl. I didn't understand anything, like, why did you become different? Why did you throw away all the plans that we made? Why did you act this way? I tried talking to her, but she would say that everything was okay and that she loved me. She would say things to me and ease my mind and my feelings, but would do other shit to just not be there.

It got to the point where I wanted to leave her, but I would have been the bad guy, and I honestly felt like that's what she wanted me to do. She ended up leaving me to pursue other aspects in her life.

I did something wrong.
I don't know what I did, but she said I did nothing wrong.

Fucking hate people.

Same user same been two years and I'm still fucked up what is wrong with me?

It's astonishing how exactly similar our situations are... Anyway, still haven't found a nice and quiet way to go. And the point here is, it doesn't matter what this ends up being or if she breaks up, I feel completely broken as a human being and my feelings are completely screwed up and just downright hurt all the time.

So, yeah, I just want to be able to part ways with myself quietly. This isn't a rash decision, and it isn't because I'm hurting now. It's thought out and I know what it entails. It's still for the best.

You could try going no-contact with her.

Cry some more and go to sleep. Sleep is like being dead. You’ll wake up and for a split second you won’t think about her. Then a split-second will be 5 seconds, then 10, then 30, 1 minute. Sleep don’t die.

>try communicating with her better!!!!
Fuck yourself woman lol the wench is past that point.

I’m sorry op but she wants to fuck other people. I’m really sorry you wasted your time with her. Or better yet she wasted your time.

Wait.. you want to kill ourself because the girlie suddenly doesn’t like you anymore? Get a grip please.

I don't expect people to get it, that's why I'm asking for simple advice. It's horrible to feel bad all the time, to feel like it's your fault and to not know what's wrong or what was done that was so fucked you got where you are. But most of all, the planning for the future is now gone, its not there anymore. And being no teen and having already a future to look up to smiling, and then have that taken away so swiftly? It took a serious toll on my psychological health and I don't want to feel like this anymore, that's all. It's not because "girlie" left me, it's because of how I am, and how I feel. And how overwhelming it all is.

Same situation OP so I understand how you feel. I've thought a lot about it and frankly the only solution I see is gathering the nerve to break up. That way I can start a process of healing and hopefully move on with my life.

Dude I feel for you.

6 months ago the women who I planned on married after 4 years together told me she didn’t have any romantic/sexual feelings anymore. She said she only saw me as a best friend.

I was devastated and not afraid to admit I almost kys myself. Even now I’m still struggling. How can a women after all these years just drop you without even trying? I just don’t understand it.

I have no energy left anymore. Just trying to live my life now

I have never been in a relationship before but I can understand how it feels to have the future you thought you’d have crumble before you and disappear. And while I’ve been suicidal in the past, those feelings for me have mostly subsided. That being said, drugs are an awful way to go unless you can get really potent stuff like fetynal or whatever it’s called. I’d recommend a gun or train

So. This one isn’t working out, you felt like you’ve tried your best. Time to break up and find someone more suitable. Maybe after a break and reflecting, so you can learn from this one. Just stop spiraling into an angsty teen, you’re an adult now. Handle it.

4years is nothing, try 10. Truly mind blowing how ppl can change over night.

Time to take the redpill, son

Heh, I accept and respect your outlook on this kind of thing user. But I've had the same issue in the past at least 2 others times. It's easy to see the issue as being yours and not other people's. And on top of that, I'm spent. I don't really feel like retrying or pushing on, I've done enough of those and I always circle back here somehow.

As I said, this is premeditated thought, not spur of the moment.