Why is it considered morally wrong to cheat on my girlfriend if she never finds out? If I cheat on my girlfriend I'm happier because I'm fulfilling my sexual needs which can't be satisfied by a single girl, which in effect enables me to be more satisfied and a better boyfriend. So if cheating produces better results and makes my gf happier as a result, why should I feel bad about it? At the end of the day it's just skin rubbing on skin, it doesn't diminish the emotional connection I have with my gf when I sleep with another girl
Why is it considered morally wrong to cheat on my girlfriend if she never finds out...
>why should I feel bad about it?
You should not feel bad about it. If your gf does not find out you never did anything wrong. It is only real if she knows it.
>we live on a society
It's not only a meme. It's a reality.
Would you be upset if your girlfriend cheated on you?
He probably wouldn't have a problem with it if he didn't know about it.
It's not morally wrong.
My wife of 5 years is happy. She has no idea I am seeing one of her friends. Her friend and I think of the relationship as a 3-way love triangle.
I have two sons with her friend. I have a daughter with my wife. Both women couldn't be happier.
It's considered wrong because of, and depending on, the nature of a relationship. It would be one thing if this was something you are open with your partner about and have agreed upon, but it's a whole different story if you're violating the trust of someone you're dating if they haven't agreed to, or especially if they've objected to, you seeing other people at the same time.
In the end it is all about honesty. If your partner isn't doing enough to satisfy you, that sounds like a conversation you should be able to have with someone you care about. Hiding it instead and violating their trust is objectively wrong, whether they find out or not.
And that's not even getting into how unfair it is to the person you're seeing on the side, and how much or little they know. I've been "on the side" before, and it isn't great, especially when you don't know and find out from the person you've apparently been cucking....
If there's nothing morally wrong with it then why don't you just tell your women the truth? Is it the sleeping with other women part that you think is ok or betraying your partner's trust and lying to them?
Women aren't exactly reasonable and tend to get hysterical.
So, just to be clear, your justification for thinking lying is morally justified is because its the other person's fault for not being reasonable or calm enough when realizing that they've been lied to? Its okay to do something specifically hurtful to someone and then hide it because their reaction to discovering the truth about what you've done is inconvenient for you? If people could be more reasonable after you've lied and betrayed them only then you would consider being having a shred of integrity? That's a very interesting piece of mental gymnastics, user.
This Women are retarded. They're happy as long as they think it's all okay.
My wife doesn't complain when I have sex with her friend, come home, take a shower and wash myself thoroughly (except for my penis - I try not to let water even touch it after sex with the wife's friend). Then I have sex with my wife.
It turns me on so, so much to know that my wife is taking me in while her friend is still fresh on my skin. It's like all three of us are connected.
It is a fact that some women are simply not able to satisfy a man sexually on their own. Some women may not be responsible for it but this is how it is. Women tend to react hysterically to criticism, especially when it comes to sex. A good boyfriend doesn't burden his girlfriend with this and gets the sexual satisfaction he needs elsewhere. He is happy with it and so is his girlfriend in the end, she just doesn't know it. Women do not handle some truths and it would be wrong to burden them with them. If she doesn't know anything, you don't do anything wrong.
I imagine this psychological framework you've built that allows you to avoid taking responsibility for your repugnant behavior is really important component for your existence. I imagine that living in an delusional universe where you're still a good person is the only thing propping up this deeply flawed value system you have. Umm, good luck with that.
So what you're saying is that its your girlfriends fault that you're a cheater and a coward and a liar?
You are absolute trash and why feminists and the metoo movement exist.
A good man doesn’t have sex with others when in an assumed monogamous relationship. You are trash. Begins trash.
When a woman sexually satisfies a man, he has no reason to cheat on her. Whose fault is it then?
Why not? As long as the friend can keep it secret, there is literally no victim in this scenario. Everyone benefits .For the girlfriend thinks the relationship is still monogamous and she thinks everything is fine
I think you're extremely based. Living the dream
>When a woman sexually satisfies a man, he has no reason to cheat on her. Whose fault is it then?
I'm confused as to how your woman would be at fault for a problem that she doesn't even know is a problem because you never talked to her about it and instead decided to solve it by cheating and lying to her. You didn't answer my question. I'm just trying to clarify here - so your girlfriend is completely responsible for the fact that you're a cheater and liar? You hold no responsibility for those choices that you made?
>there is literally no victim in this scenario. Everyone benefits
I'd like more clarification - your position is that its okay to do anything you want to anybody you want and lie to them about it so long as they don't find out, correct?
You have a tacit social contract with her that you are an exclusive couple, and you're violating it. And clearly violating the mutual trust that goes into having a relationship.
>but I'm happier so our relationship is better
This is really just gymnastic justifying isn't it?
She's obviously going to feel unwanted because needing to go elsewhere to feel fulfilled implies that she is not satisfying you. You're basically using her for your emotional needs while simultaneously using mistresses for sexual needs. Since this is Jow Forums you better figure out how to incorporate what's missing into your relationship or just break it off if you're not totally happy in it. Sooner or later you're going to end up without her.
It's really not a matter of knowing about it or not. It's a matter of if it's happening or not.
She, and probably him too, would not accept that an affair was happening. Not knowing about it doesn't make them suddenly ok with that. It just means they're being deceived enough to be unaware.
It's your fault for not communicating this with her. Second part is a perversion of morals that depends on an apparent consequence. Actions can still be wrong even if you don't get caught.
In a nutshell, your behavior is best described as building a personal harem which is an activity that is common in matriarchal societies. In a matriarchy, few males are selected as the breeding stock, and father the majority of the children.
The problem here is with the selection; it often starts high-minded and quickly devolves into violence. History of fraught with armies of fatherless men fighting other fatherless men for the privelage of providing some god-king with the ability to father more kids. It really didn't end until Christians came out and "going biblical"; wiping out the men, the women, and the kids and letting god sort them out. Kings were allowed their wars in mid-eval times, but only at the churches discretion.
If you use contraceptives and reduce women to a masturbation aid, you damage the goods and other men have to deal with your shit. Statistically speaking, you will run into a women who has been crossed one too many times, and she will find ways to interfere and ruin with your life. You also run the risk of making the mistake one of my buddies made; unknowingly sleeping with the wife of a lieutenant in hells angels. He had to prove to the guy she approached him, and if he didn't have a phone chat log, he would've ended up a disappeared persons statistic.
Finally, most professionals and company owners have observed that men who cheat on their wives make very poor business partners because they cannot be trusted to do what they say. If I find out someone sleeps with hookers or cheated on their wife, I won't promote them and may start planning on replacing them.
Of course you can try to discuss the problem, but in 99% of the cases this will not work. It is difficult for a woman to accept that she is no longer sexually attractive and does not provide enough sexual satisfaction. To tell her that openly could destroy her ego, women tend to be very sensitive. There is a problem and the boyfriend takes care of it without negative consequences for the girlfriend. What's wrong with that? You make the thing much more negative than it is. Instead of calling it cheating or lying , you could also call it considerate and courteous
If they don't know about something, then it never happened to them. The only thing she sees is her great relationship with her happy boyfriend. Sounds not so bad to me
>Actions can still be wrong even if you don't get caught.
If nobody knows about it, nobody cares. It is that easy
>It is difficult for a woman to accept that she is no longer sexually attractive and does not provide enough sexual satisfaction.
So explain to my why breaking up with a woman you're no longer attracted to so that you can pursue your desire to be sexually satisfied isn't the right option but cheating and lying to someone who trusts you is? You never answered my question, by the way. I'll ask again - what you're essentially telling me is that its your girlfriends fault that you're a cheater and a liar, correct? I just want to clarify that you genuinely believe you shouldn't have to take any responsibility for your actions.
>There is a problem and the boyfriend takes care of it without negative consequences for the girlfriend. What's wrong with that?
You've gone a very, very long way to justify to yourself that lying and cheating is okay and I highly suspect that there isn't much I can say to shake you from this delusion.
>If they don't know about something, then it never happened to them
That doesn't make any sense. If I rub my nuts across your toothbrush and you don't find out it still happened. I'm still doing something bad to you. Whether or not you ever find out doesn't really have anything to do with the responsibility I hold for doing something shitty to you whilst simultaneously lying and taking advantage of the trust you have in me to accomplish it.
This is a very infantile approach and indicates that you have no moral code whatsoever, making you a low quality and unreliable person...
What needs to be said is that things often resurface, even after years go by. You may not get caught right away, but there is no guarantee it won't happen at some point of your life.
>This is a very infantile approach and indicates that you have no moral code whatsoever, making you a low quality and unreliable person...
There it is. That's what these people never understand.
Well lets put it this way - lets say I break into your mom's house and sodomize her while you're dad is away on business. She doesn't say anything because she doesn't want to put strain on you and doesn't want you to freak out and I don't say anything because I'm an active rapist who has a vested interest in avoiding prosecution. By your definition then what I've done is morally justified because nobody found out, right? I leave the rape feeling better because I've been sexually satisfied and you never found out so, therefore, there's nothing wrong with what I've done. Have I about covered your logic there?
Maybe because the relationship is great apart from the sex? You can have a lot in common with a person, have wonderful conversations but at some point you are just not sexually attracted anymore. Why end a relationship because of something you can so easily solve?
>what you're essentially telling me is that its your girlfriends fault that you're a cheater and a liar, correct
You can call it that, of course. But that's only one way of looking at it and I think it's a wrong way. To protect my girlfriend's feelings, I'm acting in her interest. Is it her fault? I don't know, maybe? If she could satisfy the man sexually, he wouldn't even have to look around for alternatives.
>You've gone a very, very long way to justify to yourself that lying and cheating is okay and I highly suspect that there isn't much I can say to shake you from this delusion.
So you have no argument. That is fine
>That doesn't make any sense. If I rub my nuts across your toothbrush and you don't find out it still happened. I'm still doing something bad to you. Whether or not you ever find out doesn't really have anything to do with the responsibility I hold for doing something shitty to you whilst simultaneously lying and taking advantage of the trust you have in me to accomplish it.
In this case, I wouldn't know what you did. So I would not be negatively affected and would just go on living normally. Life is not a philosophy class anyway and you should act as you think it is best
The supposed moral superiority you think you have, expressed in calling me an low quality and unreliable person, is the epitome of an infantile approach.
Nothing in life is 100% safe. Sometimes something goes well and sometimes it doesn't. It brings no one anything to always expect only the worst.
>Maybe because the relationship is great apart from the sex?
I'm curious how great a relationship can be in which you are actively lying to and betraying the trust of the person you're in a relationship with.
>Why end a relationship because of something you can so easily solve?
As an individual with zero integrity or empathy for other human beings I can understand why this predicament would be confusing to you.
>To protect my girlfriend's feelings, I'm acting in her interest.
If your intent is to save the relationship and act in her best interest then why don't you just tell her the truth? If you genuinely believe your actions are morally sound then why is it so important that nobody find out?
>So you have no argument.
I honestly just never thought I'd have to explain to a grown man that lying, cheating and betraying the trust of the people who care about you is bad. I thought people learned this shit when they were like 3.
>In this case, I wouldn't know what you did. So I would not be negatively affected and would just go on living normally.
I didn't ask whether or not you'd be affected. I'd ask whether or not I'm morally justified in violating your trust and tainting your personal items with my ball sweat just because you don't know about it. I'm just curious where you've gotten the idea that you hold no responsibility for being a liar, a cheater and a coward because its a secret - like bad deeds aren't bad unless you get caught. That's so bizarre that someone could honestly believe that.
My moral superiority is not supposed. In fact, it's my morality is very standard and in vein with societal expectations. Most people dislikes cheating, and even most cheaters are aware that cheating is bad, because it breaks the trust you have with your partner. Regardless if your partner finds out or not.
It is extremely wrong. Be honest with your girlfriend and if she is cool about it then great, if not, date someone who is polygamous. Cheating can hurt someone deeply, it can cause them to have trust issues and make them feel insecure. And nine times out of ten you ARE going to be found out. I am extremely disappointment in you.
>The supposed moral superiority you think you have
Lets review - you've decided to be a liar. You've decided to be a cheater. You've decided to deceive people, manipulate them and betray the trust of the people who love you simply because you wanna cum more. You decided to do these things. We're not the ones who made the decision to be morally superior to you. You made that choice the second you justified to yourself that satisfying your own sexual urges took precedent over living a life of integrity. You are garbage. You are a reprehensible zilch I feel comfortable saying that because nothing I've said or done did that to you. You did that all on your own. There is nothing infantile about calling you what you are. It is you, after all, that decided to be what you are.
In all honesty, nothing morally wrong with the act of having sex with another person while being in a committed relationship.
However, you have performed another action. Lying. That act can kill any emotional connection. Come clean, and hope for the best. She might be understanding. Why come clean? Because you value the emotional intimacy over physical intimacy. And if she finds out, all you will be left is physical intimacy.
>Since I have no arguments, I simply insult you to hide this fact while claiming moral superiority for myself.
Yeah, whatever. Discussion over. I don't need to be insulted.
It's not cheating if it's with a boy
I wish I could be a self-centred hedonist like you user. props
This. Envy and disgust envelop me in equal quantities.
Goes to show how so many of us are still so indoctrinated/trapped to give a fuck what society thinks, even though we're on the most degenerate image board there is.
You probably aren't satisfying you wife either, can I have her number?
girlfriend, I mean.
user crushed you and showed you what a douchebag you are, now you have nothing to write.
You got fucking destroyed. You're a rank piece of trash person, and user pointed out exactly how delusional and retarded you are. End your life.
Why is it considered wrong if your girlfriend cheats on you gets pregnant and makes you rase someone else kid?
Being in a relationship implies being exclusive unless it's mentioned otherwise
Would you feel bad about it if your girlfriend decided to cheat on you? If not, then perhaps it's better to talk about these things and come to certain conclusions about the nature of your relationship, rather than do what you want without any regard for anyone else but yourself, and let the chips fall where they may.
If you get into a monogamous relationship, you promise to be sexually exclusive. Her not finding out is not an argument. Is lying to your partner not wrong if they don't find out?
You are trying to argue morality on practical grounds, it doesn't work like that. Yes if she does not know then she won't be hurt that you cheated. That's true. But what's also true is that she is not getting the chance to evaluate if she wants to be with a guy who sleeps with other women. She is willfully kept in the dark so she loses some of her agency. This is especially poignant because the chance is quite high she would not want to be with you anymore, so you are eliminating the risk by taking away her option to consider it a dealbreaker.
>I'm happier because I'm fulfilling my sexual needs which can't be satisfied by a single girl, which in effect enables me to be more satisfied and a better boyfriend.
Also not an argument. If your girlfriend is happier and a more energetic girlfriend snorting coke every day behind your back, would you also be fine with that? Maybe she wants to find a guy who can be satisfied by just her?
>it's just skin rubbing on skin
This is an argument for why she shouldn't care, but you can't decide that for her. I also strongly, strongly doubt you actually believe this. Would you let yourself get fucked in the ass by an obese hairy sixty year old man because "hey, it's just skin rubbing on skin"? No. In a way it is just rubbing skin on skin and in a way it absolutely is not.
Either way it is still irrelevant. If your girlfriend had made you promise before becoming a couple that you should never wear pink or else she will break up with you instantly, then you don't wear pink. Yes you can argue that it's trivial and weird and why does she care and it's your clothes... BUT YOU AGREED. You gave her a promise.
condoms don't protect against eveyrthing.
>Women are retarded.
therefore you're not a douchebag?
you are a douchebag
Your wife doesn't complain because she doesn't know
you are a sack of shit
The fact that you need to hide this behavior implies that it is wrong.
It creates intimacy with other people and some women are insane and show up at your home even if you didn't want them to.
Some might get pregnant and wants you to take care of your kid.
Risk of sti increase and you can pass that shit on to her.
Your happiness isn't a value of whether something is moral or not. Being happy isn't the ultimate goal.
If I killed 2/3rds of my coworkers, I would have an easier time to find parking which would make me happy and probably the other people I work with happier too. But that is fucking insane and nobody should do that.
Damn, wish my partner would cheat on me with another woman, i would enjoy looking at him fucking another woman but after that I would definitely kill myself because of shock and betrayal
Not the same thing. Once again: Men and women are not the same and they are not equals.
If you cant tell her openly, its wrong, hence the fact that you hide like someone who is ashamed of what he does.
If you don't feel it's a bad thing, do it, but don't cry when you get found out and shit hits the fan, you still know what you're getting into and how other people react to that kinda thing.
I guess it’s not morally wrong if she never finds out, but I think women have pretty good intuition of figuring out something’s up.
You should probably go into a relationship letting someone know that you prefer an open relationship, and then it wouldn’t even be an issue in the first place.
>to know that my wife is taking me in while her friend is still fresh on my skin.
And she loves you more for it, trust me. Very smart move.
>I guess it’s not morally wrong if she never finds out
You don't get a pass for being a shitty person just because you don't get caught. Lying is wrong. Cheating is wrong. End of story.
they can go to hell
What is integrity?
OP, cheating as a concept in relationships was invented by a woman who's ego was hurt when she realized her man was doing what men do. To answer your question, no, there isn't anything wrong other than you violating the social contract you made with her that yours would be a monogamous relationship, which itself is honestly not fatal and there is little harm done.
The only issue here is your guilt, which as you have begun to reason, doesn't make sense considering WHAT we are. You'll just have to continue dealing with it internally and not talk about it with anyone in real life. The alternative is to end your relationship and start anew being completely honest with any potential partners and only settling for one that understands how things work, and will not have a problem with you being what nature intended you to be. Personally, I preffer this option, as I don't like the burden of secrets.