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Part of the ugliness of me is that I'm very broke.
My job is still pretty fucking awful, but my wife and I got paid today. Feels good that we're making over 5k/month combined after taxes and other deductions.
It's never going to get better for me
at least [2,4] girl has a cute pupper
I wish I had doggo to cuddle with or tell about my problems to. But I guess they won't bother just sitting with me. Plus today I discovered that dogs don't enjoy cuddles.
oh, I guess I don't want a dog anymore. They take too much effort and every source acts like I fucking OWE them.
I crave release from this life, but I could never kill myself because I know what it would do to my family.
Everything is pointless. I shouldn't have come back. You would never date me. You're not taking me serious and never did. I hate being here for you.
Thinking about making some dumb choices this month. Hours are getting cut, haven't found a new job yet, and there's a lot of things happening in town. I spent most of these past two months at home due to being depressed and the initial hour cut, but staying home is making it worse. Might as well have some fun and enjoy life for a bit.
Throughout my life I keep hearing time and time again
>Women find it stupidly difficult to get off sex is shit for women etc etc
But you never hear the same for men and I feel like I'm going mad as a man who's never enjoyed sex and have met women that absolutely love it and seemingly cum within seconds
no matter who I was with no matter how much I was in love with them I've never once enjoyed it, I've never cummed once from it, finding myself just faking it as of late because otherwise I can keep going for literal hours and it feels utter shit doing so, especially as the women I've been with haven't had a single complaint with me otherwise.
Holy gosh doggone flip I am so screwed up in the head
Try seeing a specialist
This time, I'll burn the bridge.
You do owe them. Most of the problems people have with animals is caused by their own behavior.
I've never heard that. I did once hear a girl say "that was the first time I've ever cum like that." Belief isn't necessary. I felt her cum. Pretty nice mate, watching a girl orgasm while I make love to em.
Fuck this image gets me. At least some of these guys look happy. I've learned to cope with my depression, ilness and this shitty world. The only thing I can't seem to overcome is this dreadful loneliness.
might unironically be a trap
Kek sweet pic
Imagine adopting a dog then getting mad that you owe it food and care
I'm actually over it. It just gave me chills the first time. Now it just seems normal.
I don't have a job but I'm a senior at a university, I pay rent using the financial aid I receive. Right now I'm on Summer break so I've been NEETing it out. Is this something people will judge me for? I figure as long as I'm self-reliant and paying rent my roommates shouldn't judge me but I still feel lazy and bad about it.
I'm sexually attracted to my gf's younger sister and even if i know it's wrong i still get jealous of her bfs and i feel like shit. Even thinking about it makes me sad and worthless
I'm still not sure how much space is too much space to give her. I really want to talk to her but I'm worried she isn't ready yet
When does the pain of a long term partners infidelity leave you? When do you stop feeling so insecure about everything? When do things begin to matter again? I feel God but I miss the one that claimed to love me.
The last post was a bit of an exaggeration. In order to communicate my perspective, I think it is necessary to continue this conversation elsewhere. Do not take this as an invasion of privacy. I am trying to fix my poor impulse control, like I mentioned before.
It's special to each person, but there will come a time when you realize you haven't thought of them that week, then it'll be a couple weeks, a month, a year and the time will continue stretching until one day so much time has passed that the emotions tied to that memory have faded.
It's a waiting game, humans are just lucky we can out last our volatile emotions
Would you rather have them cheat on you or would you rather have them leave you randomly without any closure?
The latter happened to me.
Another night without sex. Disappointed but not surprised.
I feel like I'm not weird/geeky enough for the weirdos, and nowhere near chad enough for chads. I'm just stuck in this awkward, unlikable middle ground. I don't belong with anyone.
This is the human condition. When you realize the majority of people feel this way it isn't as bad
I thought I was okay with being alone, and didn't care for others but I'm just a weak emotionally dependent fool
I wouldn't want either for both us us, user. I'm sorry that happened to you.
I've been there, too. It hurts really bad, sometimes the disappointment feels worse when you're not surprised. I'm sure you've tried, but maybe talking about it with your other will help. Maybe there's something more wrong.
For some reason I can't stop thinking about someone I haven't seen or heard from in over a year. They're a massive douche now and I don't regret trying to put that past me, but they left such an impact on me that I can't shake these feelings. Feels pretty cringe.
what do i call myself if my fursona is an octopus? (specifically the plateons from maplestory)
Why’d you say Tony is going to kill me?
She'll talk when she's ready, just keep doin you until then and don't stress it too much.
i'm watching the wicker man and i literally want to cry right now
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy whyyyyyyyyyyy nooooooooo
okay the movie ended now im gonna watch another
>Tells me I make her heart warm
>Confess my feelings to her in return
>Sends me messages saying she misses me even after
>Even while I'm sleeping with a smiley face
>Constantly brings up the fact that I have a thing for her and teases me with it
>Says maybe there's a person for her in [my area] after she breaks up with her boyfriend
>Asks if I want to be with her
>Talk about our plans together in the future
>2 weeks later makes contact with ex again and drops our plans like nothing
>Explain to her I'm so fucking depressed because she lead me on for so long and dropped me
>She gets furious and says she NEVER lead me on
>Won't even talk to me lately as if I was the one who did anything wrong
fuck you. i should be the one angry. i know i should just break contact with you but i can't fucking find the strength to do it.
why am i so fucking pathetic? Why did I waste so much time for this? How can someone make you the happiest person one day and completely destroy you the next?
its not fucking fair
I met him when I was 18 years old. He was 23. We matched on Tinder, had a lukewarm coffee date, and since it didn't go too well, I was pretty indifferent to never seeing him again. Then a couple weeks later, someone brought me to a party full of people I didn't know and it took me thirty minutes to realize that he was there. In some hoodie, completely the opposite of how he'd presented himself to me, drinking like it came as naturally as presenting his research to me over coffee. It was a perfect coincidence, hitting me like a bolt out of the blue.
No, none of that matters.
What you need to know about him is that he left disgusting scars on my body. And I let him.That was how we began. None of that trivial, mundane bullshit matters. He hated me. Or claimed to. I'm not sure why I liked that. I can't reconcile with the part of me that liked that. He brought his knife over. Why did I let him? Why did I think that was a good idea?
And he cut himself into my body. His initial is on my hip. I hate looking at it.
But what's rich is that I fell in love with him. We're still together, a year later. But it feels like I'm dating someone else. How can that be?
How can I love someone who I don't even know? I don't know your true face. I don't know if the one you showed me a year ago was your real face, or the one you wear now. You're pathetic, brilliant, sadistic, disgusting, kind, caring - you've ruined me. You're a contradictory mess of faults. I can't love you. I can't love you when you won't even say it back to me when it counts. I don't even know what you really think of me. I'm pathetic for staying with you but I have nobody else. I am utterly alone.
Do you even think of me?
Only if you fuck with him
I want to die, the pain is unbearable. Life is a nightmare, I want out right now
I hope one day I'll truly be happy.
I just wish I could skip the bad parts
Almost every morning I wake up wishing I hadn't. My life is great in most aspects (active, eat well, lots of friends, good professors, people care about me etc.) but I don't want it and the little things that matter the most to me are falling apart but by bit. I don't especially want to die but I don't want to live like this and there doesn't seem to be any better alternative. I can't think of any possible existence that I actually want to live. I just want to yell and scream and cry but I don't think any of that would even help.
Vomiting turns me on so much.
I'm creaming myself massaging my throat trying to get myself to puke but I'm on an empty stomach so I know I won't. I wish I had someone I could puke into the mouth of.
I regret wishing that pain on you, I just wanted you to have an idea of what I was experiencing so that you would understand. I just wanted you to see why I wasn't able to do what you wanted, even if it was only for a little while. It hurt seeing you that way, but even then you didn't care about what you were doing to me. I hated you for it, but I hate myself more for thinking you'd change.
How am I supposed to deal with my number one dream being impossible? Not impossible like super unlikely, impossible as in impossible. Everything I read about this topic is just people saying "nothing is impossible" and "follow your dreams" but this is literally impossible. What am I supposed to do to cope?
I sabotaged myself lots and lots of times through my entire life. I have been mentally breaking down this last two years, to the point that I no longer know what I Think and what "I Think".
I highly suspect someone is coming into my room.
I live in an apartment with my mom and brother. Sucks but whatever. He room is accessible to the rest of the house. And the landlord lives upstairs. But whenever I go to work I lock my door. Not hiding anything. Just privacy.
So last night I came home and a bag I propped on a shelf fell down. The way it fell looked suspicious, and it kept me thinking, but I decided to just let it go. I looked around that night to see if things had been moved (drawers, cabinets, etc). Nothing alarming.
Today I came in, and there was dog poop. I sleep with my dog. Occasionally she poops inside the house. But I feel like I would have cleaned this up in the morning. Now I’m just fucking confused. I set an alarm for 5 minutes before I usually leave the house, as a reminder to take a picture of my room before I leave. Too fucking fishy.
That's pretty scary, let us know what you find. Post the photo somewhere with a timestamp like Facebook so you can prove to them that things are different if you need to confront them.
My body hurts so much. just weaker and weaker as the days go on. I don't like pretending that I'm okay, I really don't. It's so hard.
My logic is like ok, 3 most probable are my mom, brother and landlord. My brother is much younger, I doubt he has incentive to pick my door lock. He never liked picking up dog poop, which could explain that. My mother obviously has motherly instincts to snoop around. She could pick a lock. But she would’ve cleaned up the poop. And my landlord, why would he come into my room, while bringing my dog from another room as well. I’m just very confused.
Do you have a laptop with a camera or any video camera?
Are adults ever happy? Ever since I became one im just kinda sad.
I miss you but you don’t care. You’re like a dog in the manger, you don’t want me to see other people but you don’t want me yourself. Do you fucking realize that I feel less towards you day after day? I don’t think of you as much because you don’t talk to me. What was a point of getting me all of that stuff when you don’t appreciate my attitude?
I’m dating my bf because he is shy and has aspergers. I feel like people with aspergers are more genuine, express their passions better, and are very intelligent.
I don’t love you. There’s nothing left to love you for since you don’t talk to me.
Please get back. I’m so bitter and sad without you.
I feel it’s useless as I write to you because you’ll never speak back, you won’t even say what’s wrong with me.
All you have to do is be honest with me. I could never judge you, I never have...
This amazing girl that I had the biggest crush on in my entire life just told me she doesn’t feel the same. Yet I think she does but she’s committed to a long distance thing.
Are you freaking kidding me! After all,that server drama, after all the goodbyes and division, the server you made is a blatant copy of what I made. You made a huge fuss about the spreadsheets and how they needed to be super precise. That was 1/3 of the reason why you left and took everyone with you! The other half being that you had "to much responsibility" that you ASKED to have. We have literally fixed all the problems that we had because you left and stopped blocking all the votes to fix them to maintain your empires power structure. But nooooo, you had to leave and do literally, exactly, what we were proposing all along on your own. If you didn't want to RP with us specifically, then say that, don't come up with a bullshit excuse. In the end you are a manipulative, selfish, bully who justifies his behavior with humor and bing "bluntly honest". Go fuck yourself.
i have narcolepsy but i spend all day in my room (mostly, sometimes i leave the house and do errands)
recently i passed out and woke up and saw shoe scuffs near my door
there shouldn't be shoe scuffs
wearing shoes indoors is rude
especially in my room???
i know my mum used to come in my room and put ammonia fumes everywhere and burn smoke that'd give me migraines and stuff when i was younger
What do you want from me? I’m totally honest with you. Do you expect to hear something exactly?
I go by J. Goodnight user. Hope all is well.
Look most of those people who have someone to celebrate their birthday
They don't come here. It's a good friend who I can tell is being dishonest with me lately. I think she got into hard drugs and I'm not too sure how to go about it or if my observations are even correct yet. I'm scared for her and wish she would tell me if she needs help
Don't. You tried to ghost me not once but several times, and I was so sad to move on, but it happened. Fuck you.
You’re fucking annoying. I told you I force myself to think about you because I don’t want to let you go. I got pretty busy with this driving lessons and it’s easy to forget about you when I’m busy. I check your socials because of habit or when I’m bored, but I don’t fantasize about us together anymore honestly. I don’t know, do I just leave you alone with your inflated ego.
I just miss you, little meow. OP cat is me when you don’t want to talk to me.
Gosh darn jews
Damn I'm so tired but I have so much shit to do. I better just let go of everything and just do it all as well as I can.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Every time I post a song I work on, people I know will interact with the announcement on social media, but won't even listen to the song.
I talk to everyone in passing and everyone seems pretty happy to see me, but no one comes over to my house or invites me to things.
None of my friends came though to a party I threw for my 21st birthday.
Why is it that people like to advertise themselves as your friend and that they'll be there for you, but never actually go through with it.
I know it's me. I wouldn't feel so alone if it wasn't something I was doing myself. I just have no idea what it is and I wish someone would tell me.
Those are not your friends. Don't blame yourself for other people being assholes.
Things are not going to get better. It's already been too late for years now.
Every so often I think about you and how mean everyone was to you. I hope one day you seek murderous vengeance and I'm one of your victims.
Dammit man, why is so much of my time wasted? Yeah I waste a lot of time and money but there's more to it. It's not just my fault. All my efforts to start making better decisions are always thwarted by shit that's out of my control.
I thought about posting a long rant on Jow Forums about everything that has happened in my life and why I will kill myself, maybe as a last cry for help, but I decided not to. I will just do it when the time is right.
I've thought this before, but there is a distinction to be made between those who THINK they are something and those who actually are.
Unreliable and selfish person. You need to cut the cord with them. Be stronger. You'll be proud of yourself in time. Watch her come crawling back to you too.
I'm sorry but this sounds like 50 shades of grey or something
Find a new goal, one that's possible, and funnel all your rage, disappointment, and sorrow from not being able to achieve your first goal into it
I haven't got laid in 2 years and I can't even be bothered fixing the situation.
It kind of scares me but at the same time I have never felt reciprocated love - I am just a bank and when it runs dry nobody cares. I have no good memories of previous relationships left.
How do I love myself again and get the self confidence to get laid? Fuck I've been asking myself this for a while now.
A lot of people on here tell me to kill myself; I think they're right.
To various people:
Your mental illnesses aren't excuses to treat your partner like shit or act out like you do. I've dealt with the same shit and forced myself to learn self-control. It's been your turn for too long. Grow up. Also, I find it disturbing and ironic that you manage to attract more concern and pity than those you hurt.
I trust you more than most, but I see how your trouble with bonding and intimacy can make you hop sides, especially in conflict or when there's any kind of tension. See what these people really are and who is really worth sticking around, especially when your time and company aren't things you give out freely.
You need to man up and not be so hopelessly attached to people who aren't good for you. Say no, say you don't accept the pisspoor apology. Say you're done. Live your life a little lighter and with a little more peace. Grow up.
I'm both tired of and amused by your insecurity circlejerks where you ice the cake with humblebragging to each other. There's more to talk about than boys, looks, drugs, and shitting. You seem to forget I'm around digitally as well as in person and only want me there under certain conditions. The kind that don't imply I'm valued for what I am, but rather for what I can give you. Most of you are hypocritical and not aware of it. Most of you are immature, catty, and gossipy, despite claiming you're against such behaviour in people, especially in shitty guys once they lose their charm, failing to see the irony. I still can't say I trust any of you or feel comfortable being me with you. I light up with others and shut down and falter with you guys. I feel weird and not in a good way with you. Being around you all has brought out rumination/compulsions related to physical appearance despite never having cared before. I don't like that.
You need to seriously stop lying and manipulating. Your misery is no reason to be so blind to what you've actually done wrong. Pity doesn't suit you. It doesn't suit anyone.
tell me that this time it's straight from the heart
tell me it's forever more
you're a liar, liar, liar, liar, liar
your love song sung on your own
tell me that tihs time it goes on forever
tell me it's forever more
you're a liar liar lair liar liar
your love song sung on its own
I'll turn 27 next year. I live with my parents; I moved back in with them this summer for the second time. I have no job, have been NEET for over a year, and I hated all jobs I had before. I've been overweight my entire life. I left my ex because I didn't feel good enough for her. Been depressed since childhood.
I've now been on SSRIs for a few months. I feel way happier in general.
I've started eating healthier, and I do IF 16-8. I'm steadily losing weight.
I've considered work again because I truly feel bad about leeching off my parents. I'm most attracted to starting streaming, most likely on Twitch, because I truly dislike having to listen to coworkers whine, and because now that I feel quite normal again with the SSRI it's quite easy for me to be social and to entertain - even when I was deeply depressed I often heard that I'm fun to hang with. Also all I have IS freetime which is perfect for being a streamer.
I miss the company of a gf but I'm now comfortable being alone. Sex is nice though.
Could you guys advice me on streaming to make a living?
I don't want to do anything like that ever again but I don't see a reliable way to prevent it. Maybe if I just take everything slowly and carefully and also always think ahead.
i have never told this to anyone in my entire life, except my mom probably, but i'm actually deathly afraid of aliens.
i pretend to be obsessed with them but it's all a front
i'm horrified by them
i have these visions, you see, i have these visions and they're awful
they take me by the head and they completely rip my body to shreds. it's how they live, making a sort of symbiosis by implanting their weird alien genes into your bodies until they explode. i have hallucinations where i'm contacted by aliens and they tell me things, they tell me about the planet, and how to communicate with other lifeforms, on earth and off. it's horrifying all the voices i hear, it's horrifying. sometimes i wish i was dead so i didn't have to see or hear it. there's a body watching me, it looks like a chinese lantern, its eyes are on its top and bottom, it's watching me. it's standing there. yellow and sickly. it's horrifying. i'm scared. i'm always scared. i'm a very weak person. i wanted to make a space themed band as a joke because my favorite band would make music about vampires and werewolves so i wanted to make music about aliens and sea monsters but it's a front
the most horrifying thing to me is always a sky you can't see through
you never know if something's approaching from beyond the stars if there's a haze between you
That is a cool pic thx. Good luck.
this one is my wallpaper. i should edit it so the jpg artifacts don't show up but i think it's good enough as is. and also, it combines two of my favorite things: dead astronauts and octopus
i feel bad
maybe it's because all my music is about people dying
right now i'm listening to a song about how every human on earth is going to die, "become the past, become the dust" i wish i could live in a bathysphere deep deep deeeeeeeeeep underwater
i don't ever want to see the sun or the stars again
My last relationship has made me so all I know to do now is submit or run away. You've never done anything to trigger either of those reactions, but I know my time is coming. I'm sorry in advance for ruining things and thank you so much for the time we've been able to share.
How stupid one should be to trust someone who doesn’t trust them enough to talk directly.