how do i cope with being perpetually lonely?
Find things you like doing alone. Learn to like yourself, that will make you enjoy your own company.
By realizing that you can in fact make friends but you choose not to because it requires effort. Then you go out and make some friends.
I do enjoy my time alone but its mainly the social stigma that makes me sad since the people around me have fun and do things, any tips on coping with this part?
no its actually impossible for me, no matter how many people i meet or how many times i try to socialize no one has ever reciprocated.
Im convinced im cursed
Going and talking to some random person once is not effort. Go to a game place and hang around every other day. Learn some boardgames or card games and play with the people there. Be a regular and you will make friends
Get some friends
Humans are social by nature and not having regular social interaction with peers literally takes years off your life, fucks with your head and generally makes life harder
>no its actually impossible for me, no matter how many people i meet or how many times i try to socialize no one has ever reciprocated.
If that doesn't tell you something about yourself I don't know what will
Stop making excuses and work on your social skills then use them
Nah, still doesn't work. I forced myself to go to soo many social events and talk to people and even went to clubs every week but still. Nothing works, i already told you im cursed so regular solutions to my problem wont work.
>not having regular social interaction with peers literally takes years off your life, fucks with your head and generally makes life harder
yeah i definitely feel this i haven't had friends since i was a really little kid and have always been depressed and stressed out since, its really bad i agree but its just something i have to accept.
I have regular social skills btw i can talk to strangers and hold conversations fine but friends its really just impossible for me idk what to tell you, I've made such an effort im exhausted and it just comes so easily to everyone else i dont get it, even if we share the same interests and everything im ignored in a short time.
I find it hard to believe people are purposefully ignoring you unless you're 11
bump, there's a friend for everyone OP, don't worry
idk of its purposefully ignoring me but its always just they have someone better they talk to instead thats all
Thanks you sound nice but it happens on discord too, people talk to me for sometime but always suddenly lose interest and ghost me, happens over and over again. Its my curse like i said.
make friends or get used to it.
advice on getting used to it? That's the point of this thread
>try make social interactions
>remember this takes a lot of energy
>run out of energy
>go back to being alone to recoup
>rinse and repeat
How do you even make friends?
As a 28 year old adult with Aspergers, lacking the skills and social experience most people normally develop as teenagers, my demeanor is very offputting and I can't think of any environment where anyone would be willing to put up with my bullshit. And because I'm employed full-time at a mentally draining job all I want to do after work/gym is go home and chill out alone to recuperate which leaves precious little time to even go out to meet people except on weekends (when I catch up on sleep). Add in depression, and the fact that I can't even enjoy things I used to like anime/video games any more, and honestly I just don't know how I'm supposed to connect with people.
I'm cripplingly lonely, too emotionally stunted and exhausted to do anything about it, and when I get up every morning to go to work I just want to hurl myself in front of the train and end it.
at your age who cares if you have friends just enjoy your time alone and try to get a gf if you can.
Aren't women super-highly tuned to a man's social prowess?
If a guy has no friends, not only is he going to inherently lack the capacity to attract and engage a partner, anyone interested will be immediately be turned away because if no other women are interested then he's a low-value specimen to be discarded for someone more charismatic/handsome/wealthy.
Trying to get a girlfriend without a robust support base of, I dunno, at least 5-10 friends seems like putting the cart before the horse and an exercise in rejection and futility. Don't get me wrong I want a gf, but if men won't put up with me why would a woman?
Being in a similar position to OP, I'm in awe at how little this thread has accomplished
we are helpless there is no solution and coping is nearly impossible because of our biology
you and i are cursed because we did something bad in a past life
I actually liked my fiance because he had no friends. I don't have any either. We both did, moved around some, lost most of them, now we have each other.
That sounds like a 1-in-million relationship.
I'm happy for you, but asocial women are not only much rarer than men they're much harder to pin down.
Yeah imagine my life.
>literally never had somebody initiate an interaction when I thought they were a friend
>I’m a great time when socializing
>always making everybody laugh
>never needed alcohol to be the most outgoing and uninhibited
>after a night out, nobody texts me, nobody replies to my texts
The only reason I had a GF if that I met her when she was 18 and I was 21. She was too young to know anything about selection and I was her first. Had her for 8 years. She eventually starts bitching that she wants something to do but rejects ALL of my suggestions. Finally leaves and finds another guy within two weeks.
Imagine giving everything you have for 8-years and to be disposed of and replaced.
I have no will to live. I pray every night that I don’t wake up.
>just be confident bro
I’m more confident than most but most interaction I have with women at social events often involves at least one of them fucking slaying my soul. They pick me apart and make me feel worthless like a goddamn high school bully.
I hate this god damn country so much. Women have been elevated on such a pedestal they all literally believe they deserve Johnny Depp and will HARDLY settle for less.
If I want to even be considered by the 1 or 2 new people I interact with on a daily basis, I have to:
>style my hair
>select clothes that somehow stand out and look sharp
>hide any and all blemishes
>constantly maintain the scent of my breath
As an American woman they have to:
Just like they’ve told you, everybody tells me “love yourself bro” and “find something you love doing”
Loving yourself makes NO god damn sense. How does somebody feel gratification if all of the affirmation comes from within?
I’ve tried to tell myself I’m great at this, or I have that quality, but it seems like people “know” that I’m trying to fix myself because as soon as I start believing this, that becomes the one thing that somebody will insult.
I was just telling myself how my ex helped pick my glasses and how it made me look like a sexy nerd. Later that night, one of the women at the bowling alley that was semi-mingling with my table referred to me as “your nerdy friend” so I playfully slapped my friend on the shoulder (he looks average but is a big Star Wars nerd) and said “see that? You wanna nerdy girl, you gotta get the glasses”. She, almost in disgust, just said “uh, NO HONEY, wire frames were ok maybe like five-years ago, it just is not a good look.” I didn’t have anything to say because any time women start this bullying it always ends with them just slaughtering me. They don’t stop. You can’t have a good enough come-back, you can’t get them to just fuck off, they just want to destroy you.
I try NEVER to go out alone, but unfortunately no matter who I go with, they become a magnet for girls and the girls want to dispose of me cuz I’m in their way. Even if the guy I’m hanging with says they’re married and tries to shut it down, they don’t stop, and they don’t stop trying to nudge me out.
I can’t convince myself I’m even mildly attractive or have any worth what-so-ever because no matter what I choose to believe, there’s somebody there to tear it apart.
This Godless society has trampled my self esteem out of existence. I want to die.
OP i don't have an answer because i feel the same way as you do... i'm also really lonely, my coworkers talk to me but i can't really hold a normal conversation, i just find that i have nothing to say to people's whatever talk, like nothing comes up so i just stay silent. hopefully someone will post an idea in here for both of us...
I hate being top 0.01 percentile intelligence. I don’t know how to have meat-head convo. How many times can these people talk about the girl that was working at Hooters that day? God, what a curse. Whoever I’m meant for is in her home alone doing things alone and wishing to find a companion but never leaves her home. I don’t have a chance.
As far as “find something you love” the only thing I do is work on motorcycles. It’s more fun to work on motors than to actually ride. So here I am alone in my garage working on people’s bikes, the owners which would never give me the time of day otherwise.
I’m tired of spending money 3-4 times a week JUST to have a reason to not go straight home and die. I go bowling, to the arcade, coffee shops, whatever it takes to feel for a second like I’m not cursed.
I want to die
You don't. I don't have friends either and feel myself going more and more nuts everyday.
So get comfortable with the idea of snapping or killing yourself one day.