The ambitionless male

Dating this dude and the longer we talk the more I realize he's a defeatist with no ambition or clear direction in life. He dropped out of college twice because he didn't go to classes and just says he doesn't know what he wants to do. He's working a dead end job now, when I ask him what his career direction is he just says he doesn't know. And when I suggest things based on what he's said, he just says he's not good at anything. Also, he doesn't even come up with date ideas. I always need to figure it all out and am getting tired of doing all the work here. But he's young. Young guys are like that.
Do I bother continuing with him? I have my shit together and am very turned off by deadbeatism. Do I keep him around long enough to fuck and then dip out? Did you ever know anyone that started out like this and developed a drive?

Attached: 61EC4399-5DE1-41B1-A1BD-8D7A9DF064BA.jpg (792x792, 218K)

Do you even need to ask? It’s clear that you don’t respect him. Find somebody else. I for one think you’re being overly judgy but whatevs

Don't get yourself stuck in that trap. Just bounce. Don't be with someone expecting then to improve, take it as a what you see is what you get

If you have your shit together only date dudes who do as well. You'll end up with a dead beat bf instead otherwise

kys. Like fr kys. She doesnt respect him? How? Shes just trying to get this nigga to be on top of his shit. OP should break up with this loser and get with someone who has their shit together. ppfff ima just assume your a loser too

People don't change much, unless they're hitting rock bottom in a bad way. So, if you don't want to have that in your life forever, dump him

You mad bro? Obv you don’t respect him either- so why you so mad about it? It’s the truth. You’re literally saying he’s a loser. Not respectful. Not everybody needs to keep running after the carrot stick of capitalism- it is more important to be content with oneself regardless of position within social heirarchy. It’s not worth arguing with you about it tho. We are literally agreeing that she stop dating him so you’re mad over nothing

How long have you two been dating?

Why should I expect someone who puts minimal effort into themselves to put effort into a relationship?

People express themselves in different ways. Some people are more low mantenaince. You’re more like the high maintenance type. You should move on. Unless you’re incredibly determined to stay with him bc you keep arguing for it

Hmm, well, most guys young guys are not that unambitious, usually they start ambitious, then head there eventually. Even people who fail classes sometimes go to them anyway. The closest thing i can say that you are the Titanic and your bf is the iceberg.

I gotta wonder, with men like this who get gfs, just how dysfunctional are the anons here who can't get gfs? Some of them aren't even outwardly dysfunctional, a lot of anons here and on other boards have good jobs, friends, are Jow Forums etc. but just don't have gfs.

what is going on

Attached: 1481555136451.jpg (433x469, 50K)

user. Trust me, it won't change. Just back away and be friends or ghost him entirely. Like said. That applies to sex, too. Depending on how long you've been dating at first he might be attentive. However, it is a steep and quick decline, and by then you're emotionally invested. Save yourself the trouble and heartache.

you might ask yourself what attracted you to him in the first place. from the way you've described, it seems lacking in redeeming characteristics. if this is the case, you have no reason to stick around. appraising someone solely on their worth in the context of work-output and career potentiality is bleak, but practical, and maybe your goals require a driven and hyper-productive automaton.

though it sounds like he hasn't 'transcended surface reality' as much as resigned after a series of failures. which is sad, but it's not your responsibility to remedy, or wait around for it to change.

Someone who has not earned respect should not be respected.

>it's not your responsibility to remedy, or wait around for it to change

You're correct but it goes deeper. While I'm sure he has potential and redeeming qualities, the lack of motivation to strive for them is the problem. That's where the lack of respect stems from. You know this and feel this because you have self respect.

No, I agree. Just because someone doesn't deserve respect doesn't make them literally irredeemable or subhuman, but it does speak to their character at the moment.

Why even make this thread? The answer was in your question and you will break up with him anyways, not saying you shouldn't, but let him down easily cause some people have mental issues or bad depression like that.

How old is he and his old are you? Are these deep set patterns of his or just naive ignorance? If it's the former, run. The latter? Think about giving him a chance, but don't hold your breath. If there's no change within a reasonable time span, run.

I () should clarify, I'm not OP. I'm responding to

Oop, sorry, couldn't tell. Well hopefully OP figures it out.

How can losers like that find gfs? What attracted you to him?

Attached: 1564642758302.gif (708x705, 458K)

Few reasons:
The self righteous need to fix others, and
Savior complex stemming from codependency.

Gfs usually dont get teleported into my room. The chances of meeting them during my 10 minute per week grocery shopping session are basically zero too and at work its 100% guys.

Okay I don’t really care and idk why you’re trying to be convincing other than to just argue any tangent you can think of

You guys talk like getting your shit together was an easy thing.
I have ambitions, I'm working, I have ideas about a career path but I keep failing no matter what and no matter how hard I try.
Just because I don't have money, social status and the actual gains of these ambitions means that I don't deserve love?
And you are the same people preaching how sad and shallow human social interactions have become and how cold the world is?

>just how dysfunctional are the anons here who can't get gfs
It's not the level of dysfunction but the type of dysfunction. A guy who's an alcoholic wifebeater has major issues but he'll still get a gf because he seeks them out whereas a shy guy with a good job won't get a gf because he's too anxious to ask one out. Obviously the alcholic is more dysfunctional and detrimental in a relationship but he can get into one in the first place. I make money, I'm reasonably fit but I'm boring and timid to ask girls out and that's enough to drop my chances to zero.

Well you can change your work. Also try a group, volunteering etc

Well yeah women like you to ask. Not all but most. And you have to be around women too

That's my point. He was wondering why why more dysfunction men still get girls and I answered. Most women need the man to take the iniative, if you can't do that then nothing else matters - you're fucked for life. It's absurd but that's reality.

This is exactly what I’m saying man

Let me know if you find the solution to finding ambition because im the same as ops boyfriend, im so tired and lazy all thentime and make enough to have fun and support myself but settle way too easily, i know im capable of more.

Anyone care to explain why this matters??? Genuinely asking.

If I get married I plan on keeping my finances separate, but my spouse needs to make enough money to pay 50% of everything unless I’m REALLY rolling in dough. I’m incredibly ambitious, and I’m fairly high up in the corporate world. I don’t really care if my partner is or not. My current boyfriend has a cushy low-ish level job, and has no drive to do much more. I don’t really give a shit as long as he’s satisfied. As far as putting effort into the relationship he does all kinds of sweet romanitic things for me, which is all I really care about. Sounds like THAT could be OP’s real issue.

Otherwise, sorry OP, you kinda sound like a bitch who cares about ‘status.’

There are also women who will attach themselves to men who are broke, unemployed,carless, shooting dope, ect because of some kind of mommy complex.

50% isnt realistic as it sounds, for you or for her. The actual amount should be a fair share basis, one may make less but they do and give what they can. If I was super successful I wouldnt care if wife was wasnt equally succesful id just want her to work.

yeah but those guy will still ask them out. That's my whole point, being shy is the number one worst thing you can be as a man. A drug addicted alcholic murderer has better chances than you.

How does a guy like that even get a gf? God dammit.

>this thread is projecting on to The Ambitiousless Man™
Really says a lot about society

Attached: B2394296-8137-4EA7-B1BB-6A6470F49601.jpg (780x438, 27K)

Op you should dump him and get with me instead.

I’m straight, my partner is a a dude, but fair point. Like I said, I’m ok with less than 50% as long as I make enough to live the way I want. If my current bf and I were in a combined household, he already makes enough for that to be the case.

Ideally I’d love a husband who worked part time and just did alllll the other annoying shit I hate dealing with- keep the house clean, make tasty dinner, walk my dog, do taxes and get oil changes, re-caulk the bathroom, etc.

>If I get married I plan on keeping my finances separate, but my spouse needs to make enough money to pay 50% of everything unless I’m REALLY rolling in dough.
Wait so if you're well off you still want him to pay half?

I did this and my fiance still left me because she thought I would be a bad example for our kids when we had them.

Oh boy a commie vs a nigger get the popcorn

I’d want him to contribute half UNLESS I’m really making very money to the point that I wouldn’t want/need his full 50%. My current bf is close to that amount as-is.

Be un-ambitious all you want, as long as it doesn’t affect me (me paying more than 50% would be an effect). I can pay for ME to go on vacation, but not for both of us comfortably- Does that make sense? Idk if I’m articulating well.

Wow, that’s fucked. I don’t understand how someone would agree to marry you if they already know what your deal is. Was this something ever discussed prior? A bad example for a child would be you being disrespectful or unappreciative to your spouse. Being a loving stay at home dad is NOT a bad example, and a child would be lucky to have that kind of influence. Also if she knows anything she should know how much fucking good childcare costs, christ. I’m sorry that happened to you.

Dump this nigga RIGHT NOW and bounce. Two days from now when he comes in here making threads about how women are the scum of the earth, I'll handle this fool righteously, don't you worry about him.
Go on and date older man that make your pussy wet, and don't waste your time with children.

My 3 year gf broke with me because of this i think, she said that i could sink my life, but she isn't coming with me. Also told me to don't talk to her ever again. It hurts because she always kept talking to all her other ex bfs, but its like she wants to do like i never existed. I mean its my fault but still

Did it at least make you pull your shit together and come out of it a better man?

If you cant love him for him, stop wasting his time.

Would love to say it did, but i think i'm getting worse, at least before i had someone to talk to and had a reason to try to improve. I never knew what i wanted to study, i still don't know, i also dropped twice of college. Now im doing some private studies that could give me a future, but could aswell be waste of time and money, i don't know

>I’m ok with less than 50% as long as I make enough to live the way I want
>I want
Thats your problem right there.
You want to be happy and the realtionship must service that.
It should be the other way around. Leave this guy fast, he deserves better.

You dummy I’m not OP. I was the one asking why she cared in the first place Funny you’re salty I expect someone to pay their own half of living expenses when my bf seems to have no issue with it.

>You dummy I’m not OP
Doesn't matter, still stands.
Also I'm not salty you're just selfish and refuse to engage with the possibility that its wrong to be selfish and egocentric.

How is it selfish and egocentric to expect to go 50/50 on a decent apartment/house??

Why would I change my work? Breaking out of your comfort zone is hard and I'm afraid of meeting new people especially. I just want to hide in my room really. Going to tackle that issue eventually because I miss having a gf.

Not the one arguing with you. But I think I understand what you mean by wanting 50/50. It's more principal than anything else. A sort of physical act or declaration of the willingness to share the responsibility of the relationship not only financially- because that is as you said before not a problem if you mad enough- but emotionally, spiritually, mentally, etc.
In a relationship it has to be equal give and take in all these aspects. Sure there can be moments where one give more than the other, but is that commitment to strive for something deeper, something more there? If not financially, he'll need to work on that. If not emotionally, same thing. It's all a balancing act that's two way.

At least, that's how I interpreted what this user meant. I think you were both meaning similar things in a different way but unable to articulate clearly that meaning. If I'm incorrect, sorry for being presumptuous.

You do not actually care for him. Just like every woman all you care about is statusmaxxiing

Yeah, that’s how I feel, thanks for articulating.
Of course it goes without saying that of course I’d pay more than my half if my partner is struggling or can’t find something better- that’s different than them choosing to stay at a low paying gig.

Just cross your fingers I’ll make the big bucks one day and I’ll be able to lavish my househusband with vacations and video games, and he makes me tasty dinner every night.

Feels like he's going to end up in jail eventually.

Isn't there ways to change your life forever, like traveling to places that differ from normal society (native, religious stuff) it's almost the equivalent of going to do ranch. (ie. Desintox therapy)

It's probably perfect for him.

Did you know from the start he was like this, why did you even consider this dude if you knew he was a defeatist?

It's hard to say whether or not he'll get out of his current situation OP, I don't know the guy. Some guys do try to get out and others don't because they just don't care.

>How is it selfish and egocentric to expect
>selfish and egocentric to expect
That's how.
As long as your relationships are about your expectations, they will fail one after another. You project what you want and people really fucking hate putting up with that shit. You literally made a thread about how the relationship should be about you and your comfort because no-one should ever expect you to carry them lol.
And that's fine but at least be honest about this.
You're fucked up in the head and base your relationship on comfort like 99% of people, and that's why it doesn't work. Now ofcourse, your bf probably sucks too, after all wind tends to blow trash together, but you bitching him out because he has a dead-end job is basically your base egocentric self crying out in delusion "I DESERVE BETTER".
Pro-tip: you don't. You deserve what you get to keep, and often not even that.
You want a better relationship? Work on the one you have now. How? Work on yourself. There is no way in hell that you will get yourself sorted out, get better, get fit etc and he won't follow suit. You actually have to put effort into this to improve it. If you just leave before actually sacrificing and fighting for this, you are just a coward running off like 99% of people would.
Here's another pro-tip: passive agressively taking jabs at him and showing off how much more you work than he does is not love.
Anyway, I already know that you won't take this to heart, you are too enthralled by your own expectations, and you will just break up with him, because anything involving work and sacrifice isn't something you are capable of, not with that mindset anyways, and the end of this relationship will be an improvement for him.
Prove me wrong.

Attached: h1B1150C0.jpg (500x575, 103K)

>him is a defeatist and loser in all aspects of his life other than being able to somehow get a girl, probably because he's MAYBE funny
the absolute fucking state of this board. this nigga is probably not even likable, let alone lovable.
OP i'd fucking jump your bones in a second if i were to meet you in real life, as long as you are remotely sexy. i'm saying this because you are actually applying your mind to the situation and are speaking like a man, and this shit gets me hard. meanwhile, this nigga is actually the woman in your relationship
dip out immediately, you will actually do him a favor. or not, honestly who gives a fuck. but not all young guys are like that, and you clearly need a man with a good head on his shoulders.

This too

You blame your guy for your unhapiness but you are still with him. Get good, become content, or get out. It's on you.
You either work hard and succeed in which case good job, work hard and fail, in which case you prove that you're worth it or you walk away like a useless whoar out for a pimp.

Take your pick.

>when hardship presents itself, leave
Why the fuck would anyone want to be with someone like you, lol?

We already resolved this. Don't pick and argue about semantics, it's unattractive.


Forgot the link thing. A year on Jow Forums and I still don't get it's workings.

the hardship didn't present itself all of a sudden you fucking idiot, as OP explains, this is the fucking perpetual state of this loser. she just got fooled or has some personal self-esteem issues, and that is the only reason she's with him, but she's now applying her mind to the situation and she obviously can't see any reason for a woman like her to be with a man like him, BECAUSE THERE ISN'T FUCKING ANY

Its not about semantics, its about someone unwilling to do the work but expecting to get everything :)
It must suck to be unwilling to engage with this. It pretty much tells everything that neeeds to be known about you.
betawomen exist too
OP is one of them lol

Doesnt matter desu.
If she wants better she has to follow this

I’m not fucking OP, you dolt. I didn’t make this thread, are you brain damaged? I asked OP why tf she cared whether or not he was ambitious.

And yes, I do expect my partner to contribute 50% unless I make enough to support us both.
I expect them to pick up after themselves.
I expect them to support me emotionally, as I would them.
I expect them to pick up the slack when I can’t, and vice versa.
I expect them to communicate with me.
I expect basic respect.

Lol good luck not wanting to “put up” with those kind of expectations. Clearly OP struck a nerve and you’re a pissy lil fella.

Alpha and based
Beta and onions

This thread is filled with incels who can't think beyond their own perception LOL. I'm out. Good luck with your empty lives.

they are perfect for each other Op is a beta and so is her bf

Is this what an alpha bitch looks like?

pls marry me

Why do women always date men with so many unattractive characteristics, but I cant even get 1 gf?

There is literally nothing wrong with having no life ambitions

It does matter, because you fucking idiots are guilt tripping her and making her feel like a piece of shit solely out of your own moralfaggotry and incel entitlement, when her mindset on the situation is entirely reasonable.
No, she isn't a beta, she's just slipping as she probably has some self-esteem issues (who fucking doesn't), which led her to this situation to begin with. It's okay though, she just has to not linger on them and she'll get through, but she made the second mistake of coming to Jow Forums to ask other retarded females and incel virgins for advice, when she's actually a grown up woman and shouldn't be taking advice from you idiots at all. It seems she isn't aware of what Jow Forums is, but that's fine.
That's why I go all caps in . I need to find some way to fucking outspeak you niggas in writing.

>Clearly OP struck a nerve
projecting this hard lol

>I’m not fucking OP
Nobody gives a shit, the advice given is universally true.

>I do expect my partner to contribute 50%
>being proud of being smallminded and egocentric to the core
Good luck lol.

>Lol good luck not wanting to “put up” with those kind of expectations.
I am dating someone like OPs BF except the guy Im dating is unemployed at 26 and has zero work experience and NO degree.
Funnily enough if you are confident enough you dont even think about dumb shit like "me first" because you take care of yourself and everything you get fron your partner is just a bonus. Must be sad having to depend on someone else to make you happy lol.
Oh and im personally tutoring him and kick his ass everyday with love, so that he gets prepped for his first job.

>muh feelz + whiteknighting
the post
She got the best advice from people who were hard on her. You telling her that she is basically ok is the most harmful thing for her. Get over yourself incelina.

Because you have so many unattractive characteristics

she is a piece of shit who doesn't care about her partner, only the status that he could bring her if he straightened up. I have no qualms calling her a terrible human, because she is

What you said DOESNT apply to me bc I didn’t make the thread and say my bf was making me unhappy and all that other shit you mentioned.
Did you miss the part about me picking up the slack when they can’t??? I don’t make enough to support two people. Even in your example, you’re expecting your bf to get a job, so I guess you’re a cunt with expectations too!!

Whatever man, agree to disagree, youre the one that got aggro right off the bat.

what do you think some might be?

I'm a male you fucking dumbass, and if you think my post is whiteknighting, you are so fucking retarded it's fucking unreal.
Really? That's actually fucking interesting. You obviously have a mommy complex, but what I want to know is how is your sex life with this loser? Do you fuck daily? How does your pussy even get wet thinking about him, if you know both consciously and subconsciously that he's basically useless and you have taken on the male role in the relationship? Do you fuck him with a strap on? Is he at least good looking?

The vast majority of people are worthless and naturally would not survive and reproduce. As a woman, it is part of your essence to decide which men are valuable and are worth having more of in the world. I think the answer to your question is obvious.

>What you said DOESNT apply to me
nobody cares
cope harder incelina

Bitch it’s not my fault they lack reading comprehension because they’re blinded with rage.

I don’t even necessarily disagree with their overall message, but they went way overboard and are nutty as fuck.

>qt boyfriend who does sweet things and I love

>I'm a male
Yeah it was clear to me that you're not a man.
You are cringe and pathetic.

>mommy complex
You are just jealous because no woman loved you unless she was your relative.

>way overboard
>i iz internet police
fuck off lol

So what do you think should happen to the majority of these people? You think they should live their lives without reproducing knowing they can't compete in the world?

I feel sorry for the majority of people in this thread with such twisted idealogies. Why are you even discussing suh a mundane fucking thing. All i see here are gay ass gossipping people. Just hang out with someone who thinks alike; it's not rocket science. Dumbasses.

Okay, I take it back, I'm no longer interested in your situation with your man. You are actually, factually, a retarded bitch that gets in her feels immediately. Can't wait for your boyfriend to get his job, meet a cutie that is liking his new and improved self, and dump your fucking whale ass. Don't forget to come and post about it when it happens.

Holy fucking shit, someone with some common fucking sense. THANK YOU NIGGA

I'll ask you the same thing, what should these people do? You know there are a lot of people that are not on the top right?

They should do their best to get to or near the top, and never stop trying.
If they don't feel like it because of my >muh nihilism or some other shit like that, then they should honestly just kill themselves.

Either on the top or the bottom lies degenerecy and corruption. The fact you still believe in this system to where it's become your religion is crazy. You talk big words but you're actually retarded. Maybe work less and think more. You clearly need it.

>do not work hard to improve yourself in whatever way you see fit, because if you do, you will become corrupted, immoral and part of THE SYSTEM with which (((((they))))) are out to get you
You need to get off Jow Forums nigga, seriously. You've completely lost touch with reality. And do not reply to my posts anymore, I fear you have the power to make me want to kill myself just from reading your dumb shit.

based and redpilled
extremely retarded and blue pilled

>Do I bother continuing with him?

If you have to ask...

and what kind of a special level idiot must that girl be to say yes to him?

t. incel who thinks women and the rich are the scum of the earth